Waiting Out The Storm

With the advent of hurricane Isaac, I’ve been thinking about the past…

I’ve lived in Florida for over a decade. Prior to that I’d lived in the Midwest and the tropics. I used to joke that I’d been through nearly every natural disaster except volcanic irruptions (thank God) and hurricanes.

Then hurricanes Charley, Francis, Ivan & Jeanne happened in 2004. Every part of Florida was affected.

I learned several things:
Make sure you have enough non-perishable foods to get you through the inevitable power outages
Fill your cars up with gas because –
1.) you may need to evac suddenly
2.) gas is virtually impossible to find if your town gets hit
3.) some jackass, immediately following the hurricane will try to jack up prices to unreal rates.
Your dishwasher and washing machine have seals protect all important docs from water damage.
You need a car charger because if you lose power, it is the only way to charge your phone.
You really WILL need bottled water.
Make sure you have a grill and a gas tank or charcoal. You may need it to cook.
If your power goes out, eat the stuff in your fridge and freezer first. It won’t last.
Know where your candles, matches and flashlights are.
Don’t forget the items needed to care for your pets.

What REALLY happens during hurricanes?
-Jim Cantore showing up in your town is the kiss of death. Run if you see him! That hurricane WILL be following.
-Some idiot WILL choose to ignore advisories and will either decide to surf the hurricane or get closer than advisable to the hurricane to take pictures. Inevitably, someone gets hurt or dies.
-You stock up on alcohol because hurricane parties are real & you need to be prepared.
-Stock up on condoms. For whatever reason, hurricanes, blizzards and power outages (which usually accompanies hurricanes and blizzards) make people horny! Nine months after any of these three events shows a spike in children’s birth.

Inclement weather that traps you in your own home can and will make you crazy. Because of this I have a few essentials to keep me occupied: a journal to write in, my cell phone for communication, music and pictures and finally, books!

Now back to the condoms and babies….I have a theory about the why’s. I think people become frightened and use sex to distract themselves. Of course the sex could also be to alleviate their boredom while cooped up in the house. Or maybe it’s simply their way to celebrate life after surviving.

Any other theories out there? Who else is waiting for this storm to hit…