The Foot In Mouth Phenomena


While waiting at the airport, a friend called me. She was waiting for her flight to leave. As I was her ride once she got home, she was calling to let me know it had been delayed for the second time.

“So, I saw this Asian cleaning lady, and I thought of you,” she tells me out of the blue.

“Um, thanks?” I responded.

As she continued to tell me about how she struck up a conversation with the woman and how the lady seemed surprised to be receiving a greeting, my mind wandered.

I wondered if my friend realized that it sounded as though she thought all Asian people looked alike, and that maybe they were all in the housekeeping business. If she knew how she sounded, she’d be mortified. She’s a teacher.

As often happens with thoughts, one led to another until I started realizing how often people say things that just come out all wrong.

For example:

My sister, a few years ago, posted that our grandfather had passed away. One of her very best friends responded with…”I’m so sorry! LOL!”. Ouch. When my sis mentioned how inappropriate “laughing out loud” was in reference to a funeral, her very sweet friend turned beet red and said, “I meant Lots Of Love!”. Apparently she wasn’t up on online shorthand.

At an Asian church group function, these Chinese guys were trying to hit on me and my friends. To strike up a conversation, one of them looked at my girlfriend and said, “Are you Philippines?” to which she responded, “No. Are you China?”

Or there was the irate (and racist) customer who was complaining to me, the manager, about “that Oriental girl”. Was he ever surprised when the young lady in question (who had done nothing wrong) advised him, “Sir, Oriental is a rug. I’m Asian.”

And finally, a very competent female manager, calling to tell me she’d elected to promote someone else into her store cited her reasoning for selecting someone other than me was because she didn’t think her store could handle “too man hens in the hen house”. It’s a good thing I knew her well enough to realize she didn’t mean it that way. What she’d really meant to say was that she didn’t think her store could handle two very aggressive personalities in management. She needed someone to be good cop to her bad cop.

People say things all the time that, without a little bit of humor, context or kindness, could do significant damage to a person. Have you ever encountered this phenomena? Care to share?

Eros Unleashed

I’ve begun to write my book. My female character is a poet. This is one of her poems. The above is the possible title for her poem.

The hungry passion in your gaze
Incites my dark desire.
Your touch glides silky on my skin
Ignites a trail of fire.
I quiver gently in your arms;
Flesh and heart laid bare.
Thrill of lust runs through my blood
Hands tangle in my hair.

Your iron strength draws to me,
Fills me with your love.
My welcome, wet and willing
Surrounds you like a glove.

Your velvet lips seduce me,
Tongue curls against my breast.
Desire burns hot between us
And throbs to your caress.
Passion mounts within my veins
Explodes within my heart,
Nails paint my hunger on your back
My mark, my love, my art.

Your iron strength draws to me,
Fills me with your love.
My welcome, wet and willing
Surrounds you like a glove.

Role Play Games


I guess there is no age limit on ‘dork’.

My husband took me to brunch this morning. As a gesture, I thought it was sweet. Until I found out why.

He told me that he wanted to take me to a place called “Dark Side”. When asked why, he told me that he’d seen a role play game online that he wanted.

What comes to mind when you think role play? For me, images of naughty nurses, Catholic school girls, French maids, and maybe masked robbers or cowboys come to mind.

Reality were board games including zombies, vampires and werewolves. Only two of three sound the slightest bit sexy. Care to guess which two? Unfortunately, this was nothing like my imagination. This was more like Dungeons and Dragons from back in my youth…except in this store the had full grown adults battling at long plastic tables. Thankfully, he just bought some board games to take home.

I firmly believe in making the best of every situation. So when we got in line for the cash register I laughed when I saw they had rules for their customers. When I saw rule # 17, I knew I had to take a picture.

If only I didn’t feel like I was going to end up playing these games to entertain my man. What do you do to humor your significant other?

New Beginnings

Have you ever stepped away from something after doing it so long and realized that you were boxed in and didn’t even know it?

On July 4, 2012 I was terminated from a job I thought I loved. I had poured all of my time and energy into this career, then…POOF! After nearly ten years of service, I was let go. I was at a loss. I had never been fired before!

On my way home I talked to my wonderfully supportive husband and let him know what had just happened. We were planning for company that evening…to cook out, maybe see fireworks or play games. He asked if I wanted to follow through. After I thought about it, I decided that we should move forward and celebrate. I knew I’d need a drink anyway, better to drink with my friends.

I called my mom. I felt like a failure. No surprise, my mom was what she’d always been in my life. She was the rock that I leaned on. She told me that she thought it was a blessing in disguise. She then pointed out all the things I’d sacrificed on the altar of my career. Since 1999 I have not been able to go back home for Christmas. My husband and I have talked about having children but I’d always been so busy working that by the time I got home I was exhausted. And after all I’d given my employer, they rewarded my loyalty with a termination. She was absolutely right!

Then, my sister called. She’s one of my best friends, so I knew I wouldn’t be able to hold back the tears. I shouldn’t have been surprised when she repeated my mother’s sentiments. And then she added that she didn’t feel my job had respected me or my time very much. She sited my wedding day, reminding me that I was out of state, on vacation, and they’d called me twice. And then she asked me what I wanted to do. That was the million dollar question. She thought she had the answer.

“Remember when we were younger? You used to write all the time! You were never without a journal. You’d be writing poetry or stories. I always thought it was what you were meant to do! I never, in a million years, imagined you giving it up. Music was in my soul the way writing has always been yours! And you’ve always loved to sing, but haven’t done that either!”

I felt like she smacked me in the face. She was right! Music was a part of our lives; a part of our family. But writing was my soul! Somehow I sold it for a job. Not counting some journal work, I had only written maybe a dozen times in nearly ten years.

Since losing my job I’ve made a promise to myself. Never again give up my work life balance. I can’t look in the mirror again and not recognize my own heart. I’ve started writing, already completing two poems and starting on two potential projects, one being an erotic romance. I have also joined a choir, filling my joy of music. Music fills my heart and writing fills my soul.

I’m never giving either up again. More importantly, no job is worth sacrificing time with my family. I’ve finally found my way back to me.