Happy New Year Everyone! First, I hope that this year brings you many successes, much joy and keeps you and your families healthy and happy.
Now as you guys are well aware, sometimes my blog takes on a very conversational tone. I enjoy talking to you guys, telling you stories…going back and forth on random topics. Because of that I want to share with you guys what happened last night.
My wonderfully awesome and supportive sister and her equally cool husband weren’t able to fly into town for Christmas this year, so they flew into town yesterday instead. Our plans were to have a mostly mellow, relaxing night with a few friends. I’d invited my best girl friend and her husband as well as my best guy friend and his boyfriend. Hubby and I decided that we would do a fondue and board game party! I had my electric fondue pot that I’d received several years ago and had added a chocolate/cheese fountain to my growing collection of kitchen fun this Christmas. We were looking forward to trying it out. My bestie brought her fondue set, too. This meant we could have 1 for cheese, 1 for broth (meats & potatoes) and 1 for chocolate (my brand new fountain).
As we’re setting up, hubby turns to my sister and the following conversation ensues:
Hubby: Sissy, it’s too bad you weren’t here for Christmas. You missed the flying singing lady at your sister’s church.
Sis: I heard!
Hubby: You could’ve sat beside me and enjoyed the show.
Sis: No, I wouldn’t have. I would’ve gotten drafted to sing.
Hubby: Not if you didn’t want to!
Sis: I’ve sung with them before.
Hubby: Oh, yeah…you would’ve. Oh well. So did your sister tell you the other story?
Sis: What story?
Hubby: The fact that she almost lost it in church that night because she’s got a dirty mind?
Sis: No….
Hubby: It was bad.
(At this point I interrupt to defend myself)
Me: Hey! I managed to keep it together.
Sis: What happened?
Me: Well, one of the older ladies was reading the scriptures leading up to Christ’s birth and she made a teeny tiny mistake…
Hubby: (snickering) It really was just one or maybe two words off!
Sis: (looking from me to hubby as we try to choke back our laughter) So what did she say?
Me: Well, she was reading the part where “an angel of the Lord appeared to Mary”
Sis: Yeah?
Me: Well, she got to the part about the Holy Spirit….(rolling on laughter and unable to continue)
Hubby: (watches me and shakes his head) Yeah…the lady is being so serious reading the scripture, your sister is up at the front of the church facing all the guests when the lady says “The Holy Spirit came on her.”
Me: (crying with laughter all over again) It probably was supposed to be came into…no those all sound bad, too. Oh…I think it was supposed to be came unto. Either way…that’s not what she said. And I couldn’t help it!
Sis: (chokes back her own laughter) Oh, God!
Hubby: Yeah…it was bad. I’m sitting in the pew looking up front and your sister gets this look in her eye and I had to look away or start cracking up myself. I started reciting sport stats in my head and looking at my feet.
Me: Hey! I didn’t actually laugh…and I was able to school my face pretty well.
Hubby: That’s true, but if people really know you…they’d have seen how hard you were laughing on the inside.
Sis: Thank GOD I wasn’t there…one look at her face and I would’ve lost it and had to walk out of church in the middle of the service.
Me: Well, guys…if you think about it…it explains so much!
Sis: What do you mean?
Me: “The Holy Ghost came on her.” (nods) Totally explains the Immaculate Conception
They both start rolling with laughter…
Hubby: (looking at me and shaking his head) You are not right.
Sis: You totally need to blog this story.
I can’t be the only person who hears accidentally dirty things at the most inappropriate places or inopportune times. Please help me not feel like I’m going to hell for finding this hilarious. Tell me some of YOUR stories! The difference one word can make….
Happy New Year!
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Same to you!
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Hahhahaa! What a great mistake. 😀
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I know…in church…on Christmas Eve! I don’t know how I held it together!!!
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I hear them in every conversation I either have or hear. So your not alone. Then again it could be just my dirty mind making them accidental dirty things but I prefer to say it was the other persons fault for saying it not me for thinking it.
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LOL! NFL announcers are notorious for it. “He’s coming in from behind.” “He’s pounding it in hard.” 😡
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LMFAO, oh yea. I think they say that shit on purpose too.
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I think you are probably right.
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Happy New Year hun x
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Same to you, sweetie!
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You are not alone. I don’t have a story as awesome as yours, but I’ve been there too:)
“That’s true, but if people really know you…they’d have seen how hard you were laughing on the inside.”–love this! I can so see it–even though I don’t know what you look like;-) It’s great that your hubby gets you so well!
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Yeah… I think so, too. Funny thing is, as it was being said I was looking straight ahead. After, I couldn’t resist the glance at him…it was when he looked at me that it registered in his head exactly what she said. He looked away very quickly. 😀
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LMAO!!! I wouldn’t have kept it together!
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It really was a near thing…
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Our Pastor is always substituting “important” with ‘impotent’ …hubs and I keep it together but it is difficult. On the way home we discuss the implication of his constant misuse of the word.
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LOLOL! It sounds almost Freudian! I can see how this would induce a conversation over the implications of the frequency of misuse.
Thank you! Now I don’t feel so bad. 🙂
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As we say – how embarrassment – That was so funny, I probably have had similar experiences but my brain is twaddled and cannot think. I just hope the Holy Spirit said sorry 😉
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I have a feeling it was more likely a “you’re welcome! I just gave you the gift to save humanity…”
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lol good reply 🙂
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LOL! 😉
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So…. Funny oh my, I really can’t top that on lol.. 🙂
B.
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LOL! Glad you enjoyed… It was a bit of unexpected humor. 🙂
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Happy New Year! Enjoyed your story.
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Thank you. And a Very Happy New Year to you, too!
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LMAO!!!! Ooo Kitt you crack me up!! That was a good laugh. You are SO not alone in this. I must have a dirty mind too because I hear what I want to hear sometimes too. LOL
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LOL! Thank goodness. Nice to know I have a partner in the dirty mind department!
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Oh, Kitt. That is hilarious. One of the mysteries finally explained; it was just a typo
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I know, right? LOL!
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My cousin and I have these moment’s in church to many times to count. Are we bad christians? HAHA.
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I’m gonna choose to say no…and blame poor word placement. LOL!
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Hilarious! I stumbled across you at Susie’s party and I’m hooked!!
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Awesome! Welcome to my little universe. 🙂
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Oh gosh, I just realized I’m repeating myself… Thankfully it’s Friday. You’ve got some great posts on here, thanks for sharing them. 🙂
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You’re most welcome! I have followed you, too! 🙂
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You know, there are some translation of the Bible stories that leaves one wondering, were the scribes…trolling us? Immaculate conception indeed.
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LOL! You know, you’re absolutely right. Some translations leave you scratching your head. 🙂
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I think you did remarkably well in church. I doubt that I would have been able to keep it together. Love your writing!! 🙂
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Thank you. I admit…it was a near thing and took nearly all my self control. 🙂
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