Bill Engvall Was Right. Stupid People Need Signs.

I think I was in fifth grade when I discovered my love for warning and rules and regulations signs. We were on a field trip into downtown Chicago…probably to one of the numerous museums we have…when our teacher stood up and made the following announcement.

“Kids, there are signs all over the city that warn you to beware of pickpockets. When you see these signs your instinct will be to check for your wallet or wherever else you may be keeping your money. Ignore your instincts. The smart pickpockets know this and are probably just leaning on the sign, waiting for YOU to make their job easy and let them know where your money is.”

I laughed a little, but found myself thinking, my…how very clever!

Unfortunately, not everyone is all that brilliant… In fact, it blows my mind how much common sense flies out the window! It shouldn’t. I mean, Bill Engvall made a career based on the fact that stupid people should be required to wear signs that say they’re stupid so you’d know what to expect…and that Warning Labels were created because some idiot tried it, then wrote to the company to complain. He’s right!

Back when I first started my blog last August I saw these ground rules at one of those gamer stores. Here’s the link to that post in case you missed it. Some of those rules are hilarious while others are rules to live by! Role Play Games

Why am I revisiting this? Because of a couple things I’ve seen in the last week. you see, last week I was running some errands with a friend & we stopped by his veterinarian’s office to pick up meds for his dog. As we sat there waiting, my eye wandered to the warning sign framed on their wall. Now I’m really wishing I took a picture of it.

The warning said, “Under no circumstance do we accept returns on your dog medications, nor do we give refunds for them.” I laughed. Looking over at the receptionist I said, “does that seriously happen?” She nodded & told me it happened often enough to merit the sign. All I could think of was how those meds could be replaced by anything and brought back if they accepted returns…and how dangerous that could prove to be.

Then yesterday we went to my favorite adult toy shop and for the first time I noticed their sign. Theirs stated that the only returns they took were on defective products and that all sales were final due to sanitation laws. Again, I laughed to myself…

Looking at the owner’s daughter who was working I said, “Eww! I can’t believe that’s even a problem. YOU wouldn’t want someone else’s used toys, so what on God’s green earth makes you think someone would want yours!”

She laughed and nodded, “But you use common sense.”

“It just means you’d better pay attention when you shop and be sure that what you’re buying is truly something you want,” I said.

So you guys tell me… What signs or warning labels have had you scratching your head? Have you ever been witness to any odd returns? What warning label have you seen that’s either had you shaking your head or just laughing hysterically?