There is no question that things have been absolutely crazed in my personal life lately. I found a side job I didn’t even know I was looking for…and that’s exciting. But even better? One of the coolest people I have the privilege to follow on Twitter and Facebook, Ande Lyons, reached out to me.
Ande runs this amazing site for women called Bring Back Desire. The focus of her website is “sharing resources with women who want more intimacy, passion, sensual pleasure and sexual excitement”. I think that’s an amazing cause. I’ve been thrilled when she’s chosen to comment on one of my posts. I really do admire her work and what it means to women.
Well, late Sunday evening I saw an email from her in my mailbox. She really enjoyed my blog post about the differences between Sex and Making Love from a few days ago. She has asked me if I’d be willing to repurpose it a little bit so she can post it as an article on her website. How cool is that? Of course I told her I’d be thrilled to do so. I mean, when someone you look up to and admire for their contributions like that comes to you…WOW!
Anyway, I have been a bad blog buddy lately, between finishing my project, starting a new business and now this…but I’ll be back in a few days. I promise! I love you guys too much to stay away. You’re all awesome!
I love Sundays…especially the lazy ones. I adore Etta James…she was the original on this particular tune. Why did I choose Reba for this song? Because no one tells a story with her videos quite the way that she does. With this, she captures that “feel good” feeling, how special time spent with family can be, and the importance of children seeing that their parents love each other.
Sometimes I look at all the issues that face the world today…and think it all boils down to lack of love and family stability. It seems to me that people are so quick to throw love away when it gets hard. We don’t spend enough time together…talking to each other. People rarely sit down at the dinner table as a family anymore…not even on Sundays. We communicate through text messaging and email more than we do face to face. The intimacy of pure conversation, gone by the wayside.
A friend of mine joked one day on her Facebook page. She posted a picture and titled it “Teens At Risk” then added “no need to rub your eyes…these teens are actually playing the board game-gasp!” Sadly, that used to be something families did together. It was a great time to talk, to laugh, to build bonds….and we rarely see it anymore. When I was younger it was all about Scrabble and Life in our house. Can you imagine how a Scrabble game could go with our youth of today? With all the online and text short hand, it’s no wonder why writing and grammar is such a struggle in school. Even more importantly is that it’s just one more deterioration of family intimacy.
As important as family intimacy is, there’s also the intimacy between couples…the desire to work things out or love things out. As many of you who’ve read my poetry know, I have a predilection towards rain. I find rain to be intensely sexy. I love making out in the rain. I love walking in the rain (when it’s not too cold). I firmly believe rainy days were meant for three things…sleep, sex and reading….and not necessarily in that order. Isn’t it interesting that the ever so sexy Keith Urban just happens to have a song about rainy Sunday sex?
Am I completely off base in my assessments of what is lacking these days? I know there’s more than just this, but I think it’s a great place to start. So if you’re home with your family tonight, why not watch a show together? Or play a board game? And if it’s only you and the one you love, why not hide under the covers?
The little Shiba Inu is my puppy. Her name is Ryka. I sometimes call her Hell Spawn. Her big Pitbull friend is named Seven…as in Battlestar Galactica. He’s a really sweet guy, and both my girls consider him a friend.
Here is a picture of all three of them frolicking by my pool after their morning walk. My girls, though they love the outdoors, hate the water. My best friend’s boy doesn’t have the same problem much to their consternation and concern.
In fact, my little one came to check on Seven once he was done with his swim…just to make sure the evil water hadn’t poisoned him or made him sick.
It’s funny… Pitbulls fall under the “aggressive dog” category, unfair though it is. There are actually people out there who think these loveably large oafs are born vicious. What a crock!
Here’s what I’ve noticed. Some of the most naturally aggressive dogs I’ve met have been the “dress-me-up-and-put-me-in-a-purse” variety. It’s as though they suffer from little big man syndrome. The thing is, the damage their bites can do are pretty minimal. Size of mouth correlates with damage of bite, so it stands to reason that a bite from a Pitbull can cause serious damage.
Really, though, it’s owners who ultimately dictate the behavior of the dogs. Vicious animals are usually trained to be that way. Sadly, when dogs act out or misbehave, rarely do these same owners take responsibility for their own action. Why are they surprised when the dogs act the way they taught them?
Yup! Seven sure looks mean and dangerous to me! Are you an animal lover? What do you guys think about “aggressive” dogs?
A couple of days before Valentine’s Day a couple of gal pals were on a Twitter Chat hosted by iVillage under the hashtag #sexweek about women, sex and relationships. They talked about some surveys that had been done and did a little mini survey of their own. One question was how often do you and your partner make love? The answers ranged from weeks to days.
The next statement was about how wonderful and important making love was with your significant other and that it’s important to make time to do so. My friends and I agree with that, but think that finding time for sex with your partner is also good. As you’ve probably figured out, my friends are as outspoken as I am and said so. The moderator asked what the difference was.
When my friend told me that, it got me thinking… George Michael did a pretty good job of talking about sex in one of his songs….
But what about if the person is your significant other? Do you distinguish between sex and love? I do. For me sex is raw, and a bit animalistic. It’s hot, hard and intense in a physical sort of way. It can often be quick. And if you’re in the indulging fantasies mode, this would fall into the category of public places, fear of being caught…those kinds of things. Road head? Yeah, that would be in this category for me. Back of the movie theater or public restroom? Ditto. You get my drift.
Then there’s making love. I found it very appropriate that I found a song sung by a married couple. There’s a nuance to intimacy that requires a deeper understanding and connection with your partner.
Making love takes time, connection. Although there’s definitely a physical aspect to making love, this is more of a mental and emotional connection to me. If we go back to fantasy comparisons, this can be the candle lit room filled with soft, sexy music and rose petals on the bed. Or it can be tied up with a blind fold, gentle teasing with foods (strawberries, chocolates…you get my drift). It can even be the scented bath for two or massage… It’s a time when your bodies commune with each other, speaking through action.
I believe both are important to the bond a couple builds and works to maintain. They both have different sorts of values and should not be dismissed or negated as unimportant. The former is what keeps the spice in a relationship or allows you to explore together, growing and playing together. The latter is where you solidify all the things you should be telling each other. It pays homage to your love and value and respect for one another.
What do you guys think? Agree? Disagree? Did I miss something? I don’t bite…unless you ask nicely. 😉
Have you ever found yourself wide awake when you should be sleeping? When you’ve needed it the most? I’m definitely not an insomniac like my wonderful artist friend, Benjamin, but I’ve found that my sleep patterns have been all kinds of distorted lately. (And I’m a girl who needs that 8 hours to feel normal)
As many of you know, I’ve been taking a minor hiatus from blogging to complete a project I’ve been working on. The project should be done by tomorrow, I think. Thank goodness, because I think it’s been causing me to lose my valuable sleep. I’ve also finally done something with my Facebook page, so I can be found there. (And that has been one more thing to demand my time…like Twitter wasn’t bad enough, right?)
Anyway, today, thanks to a couple of buddies on Facebook, I played around, posting pictures of hotties and other such things for my buddies. I also found myself on YouTube. Being there, I was reminded of one of my favorite lullabyes…so I’m sharing it tonight, hoping it brings the sandman for those of you who are in dire need.
What do you do when you can’t sleep? I listen to music. What is your favorite lullabye?
So proud of my oldest dog, Isabella. She actually went on her morning constitutional today with us, sans leash. She did awesome! Walked the entire block without veering off or getting distracted. If you know anything about Shiba Inu’s, you know that’s a pretty impressive feat, especially without having gone to obedience school.
I’m working on finishing my super secret project. I should be done in the next day or two… Excitement and nerves are creeping up on me. This means that my focus and energy will be on the project until I’m done. So, I’m going to leave you with a few songs that I think are pretty awesome.
This one touched my heart….
And for everyone who’s ever lost hope….
Or if you’ve ever felt bullied…
And for those of us who needed someone who understood the meaning of true love before we did…and had the foresight to hang on.
I should be back soon… In the meantime, I’d love to know what songs you’ve heard that touch those dark corners of your heart. You all know I’m always looking for new music. Share with me!
Our love is not
Five & Dime Store
Hot sizzles that quickly
When trials come,
inevitable in life,
back to back,
Able to lean
of our interwoven hearts;
When the world gets crazy,
Everything topsy turvey,
we hold to each other,
from the storm.
I am your anchor,
you, my compass.
As waves calm,
side by side,
your arm ’round my back,
my head on your shoulder;
in the life we’ve made.
Happy Valentine’s Day to all the lovers in the world. Remember-true love doesn’t start or end with just one day. I love you all for the way you’ve welcomed me and included me. Thanks!
Nothing makes for sexy quite like this song… Otis Redding is still the man. Whether it be this song re-made popular from Dirty Dancing or Try A Little Tenderness (many know that one from Pretty In Pink), that man’s music oozes sex appeal.
And if that doesn’t get you in the mood…Try some Solomon Burke with this scene from Dirty Dancing. Swayze & Grey sizzled!
Patrick Swayze will always be missed by this girl, as will this kind of R & B.
I thought this was an appropriate lead in to Valentine’s Day….
Valentine’s Day tends to encourage us to get a little closer. Romantic thoughts and seductions fill the mind (well, if you’re anything like me). You plan your date night meticulously. You pick out a sexy/seductive outfit. You select mood music for the car if you’re going out, for the home if you’re dining in. We women either buy some sexy, new lingerie or pull it out of hiding from our underwear drawers. We primp, we prime ourselves… So here’s a gentle reminder not to forget the little things that can cause an evening to come to a screeching halt…or at least damper the mood…
I have a close male friend. Well, I have a few, but this one is a bit different. This particular friend is my partner in crime. If there’s trouble to be gotten into, he’s usually the one at my side, egging me on. I, on the other hand, am his voice of reason. Scary, right? What’s even scarier as that we talk about everything and anything. His boyfriend found it a bit disconcerting the first time he hung out with us. Now he’s used to it.
Anyway, a few years ago we were driving along when I saw a sign advertising the opening of a new spa.
Me: That reminds me. I need to find a decent spa that that does waxing.
Him: Like your eyebrows?
Me: No, I tweeze those.
Him: Then what?
Me: The bikini area! Preferably a place that does Brazilians. I like to be all pretty down there.
Him: When’s the last time you got waxed?
Me: When I was in Chicago. I’ve been shaving since. And that’s just a pain in the ass.
Him: I know. I shave, too. Waxing just sounds painful.
Me: Eh, it’s not that bad. Glad to hear you manscape though…not that I ever want to see it.
Him: Yeah, that would be weird.
Me: (nodding) There is nothing worse than a guy who’s got Bozo the clown going on around his Johnson. And I’m not referring to him being a redhead. Guys don’t want to have women’s pubes between their teeth like dental floss. I don’t know why they wouldn’t think we’d feel the same way! If they want me to smoke their sausage, they need to trim the shrubbery.
We both laughed. A few minutes went by, then….
Friend: So you know how IV has had a thing for you forever? (IV is the nickname we’ll give a guy to protect the sort of innocent)
Me: (laughing) Of course! It’s not every day a hot young thing walks up to you, gives you a hug and says, “You know, it’s only illegal if I tell.”
Friend: You shot him down gently.
Me: Only to have him come back on his 18th birthday to let me know he was legal!
Friend: Yeah, that boy’s not used to hearing no, and he’s only ever dated older girls.
Me: (shaking my head) Ah, but there’s a difference between girls and women.
Friend: True. But that was a couple of years ago. That boy still wants you.
Me: (nods) Yeah. That boy seems to have a Lo-Jack on me. If I walk into the building, he’s like a heat seeking missile. It’s not easy shooting down a hottie like that all the time. He’s got a great ass…
Friend: True. Remember the other night when he and I went out and he got drunk?
Friend: I saw him naked before you….Haha! I let him crash at my place to sleep it off.
Friend: He needs to manscape.
Of course I cracked up! Lack of manscaping can be a complete mood killer. Most of us women know to take care of that area, whether it’s trimming, waxing (bikini or Brazilian), or shaving (some like landing strips, some prefer to go bald). Bathing suits and bikinis require we take care of some of those hairs at an early age. There are very few things more disconcerting than hair sticking out the sides….
Ok, so this is an exaggeration, but you get the idea. No bueno. If you are one of these ladies…surprise your man for Valentine’s day. Beautify that garden! Nothing like a little lovely pruning to spice up the romance. In fact, if you’re a bit nervous about doing it yourself and don’t want to see a stranger or have fear of waxing, some guys are into the erotic shaving experience. What is an erotic shaving? It’s where you put your private parts into your man’s hands and let him shave it off…and decorate. (The up side is that if he is in the same boat as you, it gives YOU a chance to return the favor!)
For those ladies who are in the advanced class? (Already trim or shave or wax) A few months ago I was introduced to the concept of Vajazzling through Natalie Hartford’s Blog. Apparently Jennifer Love-Hewitt kicked off the trend. Anyway, imagine my surprise when I walked into my favorite adult store and found a bunch of them…each with it’s own sexy or kinky message!
For the purpose of this blog, I took a fairly tame picture, but you get my drift. The thing is, they’re pretty cool looking! I’m thinking I may need to pick some up and play…. Check it out.
Cute, right? A nice, intimate message for your Valentine. And it’s less painful (and permanent) than a tattoo.
What do you do to feel sexy for your significant other? For yourself? If you don’t have a significant other, there’s nothing wrong with some solo sexy time…
My Valentine song for today…a little on the playful side.
So, I've been spanked, hard! I have spanked myself hard, I have spanked others even harder! I'm now heading for a different road, one that still includes all the best bits of me, all the naughty bits, all the hot steamy bits, and plenty of spanking still to be had! But this time I'm creating characters to play out my delightful erotic fantasies, I hope you enjoy the new ride as much as the previous one...