When Time Means Nothing….

You all know I love my mom. I’ve talked about the fact that she is probably one of my biggest heroes/role models. Of course there’s also the issue of tardiness being my pet peeve. Since she’s a direct cause of this, too, I thought I’d share…

Growing up, my mom raised us to be very involved in the church. Sometime around my tween and early teen years, since my mom worked night shifts, we stopped going to the Sabbath/Sunday school part of the service and only came for the second half…which was sermon time. It was around that time that I’d begun to notice that when we got there, the doors from the foyer were already closed, though the ones that lead to the balcony were not. Most people would go upstairs to the balcony to sit. Not my mom. She would take our hands, open the front and center doors, head held high and march all the way up to the front 4 or 5 pew and sit. Being in that age range, I noticed, mortified, that the pastor was up front preaching and watching us walk down the aisle. To me, it also felt like every eye in the place was on us. I wanted to hide. I was so relieved when we got a little older that we moved into an apartment building within walking distance of both church, work and school. While mom was doing her makeup I’d go myself…early/on time…and sit up in the balcony.

When my mom was going somewhere with us we were never on time. It drove me nuts! In fact, once I moved to Florida, my sister was coming out for a visit. Mom offered to drive her to the airport. She was so late picking my sister up that she almost missed her flight…in fact, her luggage did miss the flight. We had to drive back to the airport the next day to pick up her stuff as that particular airline only flew into our airport once a day.

But wait, it gets better. My mom offered to do a friend’s hair once, for her wedding. Somehow, she got sidetracked along the way, making the bridal party smoothies…. The girl was nearly 3 hours late to her own wedding. I’m guessing the wedding must have been casual (I’m thankful I wasn’t around for that one).

Then there was the time I developed an eye twitch. I have never had an eye twitch before. Most of the time I’m actually pretty mellow. High energy, but not the stressed out kind. Well, not until I got to town on the week of my wedding. My sister mentioned off the cuff that mom would be over before her fitting for her dress. This fitting was 5 days before my wedding.

Me: What do you mean, fitting?
Sis: Crap! Sorry, I was trying to keep it from you to keep you from stressing out.
Me: (deep sigh) So her dress isn’t done yet?
Sis: She says it’s almost done.

Then mom came over and took me and a bridesmaid over to the lady who was making her dress. The dress was still in pieces and not sewn together. The lady (a former teacher) must have recognized the look in my eye while my mom was changing into the parts of the dress and told me to go ahead and wait in the living room.

Bridesmaid: Are you okay?
Me: (Deep breath) Why do you ask?
Bridesmaid: I work with you. I’ve seen you in some pretty stressful situations.
Me: But…
Bridesmaid: I’ve never seen your eye twitch like that before.
Me: (holding my fingers against my eye, trying to keep it from pulsing) I have not been stressed out at all about this wedding…until now.
Bridesmaid: I know.
Me: I’m trying very hard not to turn into Bridezilla right now.
Bridesmaid: You’re doing a good job. Keep taking those deep breaths.

Later on I found out the seamstress had told my mom that if she wanted her to make the dress that she needed 6 months notice. My mom gave her 2. Being a friend, she did a rush job. The dress was completed the day of my wedding…which caused my mom to be late for her hair appointment. Thankfully, the stylist was at my sister’s house and had other bridesmaids she could do while waiting for my mom.

There have been many other instances… This is why we’ve learned to tell her and my stepdad to be anywhere we want them to be about an hour in advance….and to plan on eating at any dinner party they hold 1.5-2 hours after they tell us.

So last week she sent me a text telling me that her church choir was combining with one in my neighborhood for an Easter celebration service. I was all set. Hubby was staying home to do some baking. I called her 30 minutes prior to ask her which Methodist church in my neighborhood was the celebration at. That’s when she informed me that the celebration wasn’t in MY neighborhood…it was in HERS! That meant a 45 minute drive…and me being LATE! Sensing I was about to cancel, she copped the mom attitude like only a mother can do, making me feel bad. I managed to only be 15 minutes late, and just in time for her singing.

While I was there she asked me if I’d drive to Miami with her to see my sister, who is in town to see her mother-in-law (she’s been going through cancer treatments). She told me she’d be at my house by 8am on Wednesday. That’s today. She confirmed yesterday that she’d be here at 8. She texted me this morning telling me to have a good breakfast and that she’d be here between 8:15-8:30. She then texted me at about 8:10 to tell me she was leaving her house (which is an hour and 10 minutes away).

Am I surprised? No. Am I irritated? Maybe just a little…

Have I mentioned that I love my Mom?

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41 thoughts on “When Time Means Nothing….

  1. ramblingsfromamum says:

    am so glad you ended with that line, for us mums are sometimes damned if we do and damned if we don’t. However in saying that I feel for your and your mums tardiness, it must be so desperately annoying, glad you got over the eye twitch! My parents the opposite – tell them be here at 3, they are on the door at 2.30..every time… just kinda got use to it, so I hope you can with your mum…otherwise you may need to buy an eye patch or 2 🙂 xx

    • Kitt Crescendo says:

      LOL! I think as long as I never get married again, we’re good. Or I do what my sister did and put her on a strict timeline. My sister told her that she must have a dress within 6 months of the wedding as she was not going to be put through what I was. LOL! Mom pouted a smidge, but got over it. (For her wedding mom wound up buying 6 dresses, then wore 2)

  2. Sara says:

    Ha, my family was the same way. With 5 girls’ hair to do for church, we were ALWAYS late and I hated that feeling of walking down the church aisle too even though we usually sat closer to the back. It’s really impacted my life even when I was in college if I screwed up the time to get to class, I would skip rather than go in late b/c I didn’t want all the eyes on me. I seem to be the only one in my family who likes to be early or on time for everything. We have to tell some people earlier times “just for them” as well which gets confusing for the rest of us.

  3. Ande Lyons (@AndeLyons) says:

    I LOVE your Mom too! She has a “casual” relationship with time… which is very hard for someone who has a “formal” relationship with time.

    You would love Mimi Donaldson’s story about the couple who now meet at their vacation destination to avoid fighting the whole way. Different planes, too… http://www.bringbackdesire.com/tune-in-and-turn-on-with-mimi-donaldson/ … she has several other stories around formal and casual personality types… very funny!

    You are a WONDERFUL loving, understanding daughter – staying focused on what really matters – you Mom is always there for you – emotionally, spiritually and eventually physically. 😀

    MUAH!

    @AndeLyons

  4. Phil says:

    We all love our parents but sometimes they way they are can drive us nuts. Hope you still don’t have that eye twitch!

    After a day with my mom a few stiff drinks or bottle of wine helps!

  5. Cowboys and Crossbones says:

    I HATE, LOATHE, DESPISE being tardy to anything – so this would be my pet peeve as well. But what a fun post about your Mama…I just saw there’s a new book out called “If it’s not one thing, it’s your mother.” Reminded me of you two 🙂 (and me and my mother….and anyone else who has a mom!). Sh

  6. Andrea Nelson Robert says:

    I also hate being late for anything……. I married a man to whom time truly IS relative. We worked together before being married, and I would have to explain to clients that he would be available approximately 2 hours after the time he said he would. I started referring to him as “The Late Mr. Robert.”
    After 15 or 20 years, he actually did improve in this area….so there is hope!

  7. Jessi Gage says:

    LOL! I have a BIL and spouse who are perpetually late. They made the lamb for easter dinner…it was ready 2 hrs late, right when I had to put the kids to bed. So, I ate after everyone else, alone in the dining room. Come on, people! You had all day to cook the damn lamb!
    Is it wrong to curse in frustration over late Easter dinner? I might have to say a prayer for that one.

  8. renxkyoko says:

    My dad’s side of the family are like that, too, and that includes my dad. There was a potluck family reunion once,,,, Mom informed them to come at 11 AM , lunch,….. the sister’s family came at 1:30 PM, the other family came at 2:30 PM…. Mom wanted to trash their food contributions…… everybody had already eaten when they arrived. .

  9. 최다해 gongjumonica says:

    I don’t like being late and when I was younger I really did not have any patience for tardiness. I remembered leaving when someone was not yet in the designated place and time. Now, I learn to tolerate. Being here in the Philippines with our “Filipino time” trained us to be like that.

  10. CJ says:

    No…it was a formal wedding, not a casual one that the bride was late for…gotta love her! I’m glad you made it down anyway!

  11. Professor Taboo says:

    Reading this not only cracked me up because I so relate, but I could feel the frustrating tension being pinned-up, tongue-biting sort of tension, right? Makes us want to SCREAM at Mom, “MOM! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH! GOD DAMN IT I MUST LOVE YOU MORE NOW!” 😉

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