Hey Ditty Ditty – A Request From Jenny Hansen

My friend, Jenny Hansen, posted an Undie Chronicle on More Cowbell yesterday regarding Panty-O and kegel panties. Yes. They DO exist.

pantyo-vertAs usually happens on Jenny’s blogs, funny, quirky conversation ensued… Of course I participated. Here’s what I said and Jenny’s response. :

Kitt Crescendo says:

So how strange is it that these kegel panties had me thinking Night Court and Dan Fielding? This sort of thing seemed right up his alley. LOL!

As there are people that walk around with plugs in even more delicate places down south, I’m pretty sure you’d be able to survive the Panty-O fitness regime if you chose to create one for you. I’m also positive that there are a bunch of us on here who would be happy to create little reminder ditties for you…;-)

  • ROFLMAO!!! Do create a reminder ditty. Please, please do.

    I’m a little frightened by this Night Court analogy, but I guess, it’s better Dan than the bailiff…

So of course, when she challenged me to write a ditty, I couldn’t resist. Here are a couple songs I made to encourage Jenny to put on these panties.

The first one goes to the tune of Itsy Bitsy Teenie Weenie Yellow Polka Dot Bikini. For those of you unfamiliar with the song, I’ve included the original.

Itsy Bitsy Plastic Thingie

She was afraid to come out of the bathroom,
She was as nervous as she could be.
She was afraid to come out of the bathroom
She was afraid of the work out panty.

1 – 2- 3- 4
Tell the people what she wore!

It was an itsy bitsy plastic thingie
Tucked inside her brief bikini
She had to squeeze
As she went through her day.
An itsy bitsy plastic thingie
Tucked inside her brief bikini
So in the bathroom
She wanted to stay.

1 – 2 – 3 – 4
Stick around, we’ll tell you more!

She was afraid it would feel very awkward,
So she almost put it in a drawer.
She was afraid it would feel very awkward
But she wore them and went for the door.

1 – 2 – 3 -4
Tell the people what she wore!

It was an itsy bitsy plastic thingie
Tucked inside her brief bikini
She had to squeeze
As she went through her day.
An itsy bitsy plastic thingie
Tucked inside her brief bikini
Her lady bits
Would get stronger each day.

1 – 2 – 3 – 4
Stick around we’ll tell you more!

Now she’s afraid to be seen out in public
And I wonder what she’s gonna do.
She’s afraid to be seen out in public
But maybe others are wearing them, too.

1 – 2 – 3 – 4
Tell the people what she wore!

It was an itsy bitsy plastic thingie
Tucked inside her brief bikini
She had to squeeze
As she went through her day
An itsy bitsy plastic thingie
Tucked inside her brief bikini
I cheered her on
With a hip hip hooray!

From the bathroom to the drawer,
From the drawer to the door,
From the door to out in public
And now her girl bits are sore.

But wait! I’m not done! Just in case she didn’t like this one, I created another one….to the tune of  YMCA… and since Natalie was so kind as to point out to Jenny that she’d already “gone there” with a post, I thought it only right I include her in the song, too. 😉

Now everyone’s familiar with this song, but it’s fun, so I’m posting it anyway….

Kegels Each Day

Jenny,
Don’t let your girl parts down.
I said Jenny,
Uterus off the ground.
I said Jenny,
There are panties around
That can help you fix this problem.
Jenny,
There’s a place you can go
I said Jenny,
If you’ve got enough dough.
You can buy them
And I’m sure you will find
Use them
They’ll be worth ev’ry dime.

Chorus:
It’s always fun to do
Kegels each day.
It’s always fun to do
Kegels each day.
They will strengthen your “P”
You might even enjoy
The side benefits with your boy.
It’s always fun to do
Kegels each day.
It’s always fun to do
Kegels each day.
You can squeeze yourself strong
While you’re having a meal.
You can squeeze whenever you feel.

Jenny,
Are you list’ning to me?
I said Jenny,
What do you want to see?
I said Jenny,
You can buy some with bling
But you’ve go to wear this one thing.
Jenny,
You’re not all by yourself
I said Jenny,
Nat’s got some on her shelf
So just order
From the Panty-O Store
I’m sure they would love to help more.

Back up to Chorus

Jenny,
This is better than shoes
I said, don’t be
Down and out with the blues.
You can fix this,
Bring your girl parts to life
Wear them when you go for a drive.
That’s how
You will start to believe
I said Jenny,
You will no longer grieve
You’ll be thankful
You found something to do
Made your lady bits feel brand new.

Back up to Chorus

So now you’ve seen my little ditties. But I know you guys… You’re all a ton of fun and a bit quirky. I want to see what kind of ditties you come up with! Time to put those creative minds to action and join in the fun and silliness… Don’t leave me hangin’ guys! 😉

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31 thoughts on “Hey Ditty Ditty – A Request From Jenny Hansen

  1. Gloria Richard Author says:

    KUDOS, my talented friend.

    Loved these lyrics. I have plans of my own, but I first want to promote the Starbucks talent behind my new banner. You had to do two ditties, didn’t you?

    Sane post on its way by Thursday. [I know! Shocking, isn’t it?]

    • Kitt Crescendo says:

      Thanks, Gloria!

      I can’t wait to see what you come up with! Doing this was a ton of fun for me. I kinda felt bad for one of my gay friends. I sang him part of the YMCA one… He begged me to stop. Apparently it got stuck in his head. He was a mite disturbed by that fact. 😉

      I look forward to seeing what your Thursday post brings. 🙂

  2. Jenny Hansen says:

    THESE ARE FREAKING HILARIOUS!!! In fact I think that YMCA-themed one my be damn near brilliant. You have absolutely made my day with these and I am howling with laughter over at the Hansen House.

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