Everyone has irrational fears. For some it’s spiders or maybe snakes. Others have fears of heights or tight spaces. Not me. Don’t laugh. Some of you may even remember from a prior post explaining the many varied reasons for this fear, but my irrational fear comes from these guys…
They seem innocent enough, but I’m telling you… It’s a trick. They are truly out to get me and they’ve decided this weekend to get more aggressive in their campaign to make me lose my mind. Like the things I wrote about in my prior post weren’t enough? At least back then it was spaced out over years!
What happened? Yesterday evening I decided to do something nice for hubby and get him some ice cream from the home made ice cream shop down the way. I had barely stepped out to my front walk up when frogs began dive bombing me from above! I admit it. I screamed bloody murder…then opened the door and told hubby he needed to get his butt out there to remove them. As my heart threatened to palpitate out of my chest I was grateful for one thing. Their bad aim. Thankfully, this time they were close, but no cigar.
I know what you guys are thinking. Kitt, that was one isolated incident. Right? Wrong!!!!
This afternoon, it was pouring out. Hubby, who is off today, decided to come with me as we took our girls out for their potty break. He grabbed the umbrella and stepped past our walk up to open it…and it started raining frogs from under The umbrella. I’m just glad I was standing at the door and not under that umbrella or I would’ve probably fainted, knocked my head on the concrete floor and had to be rushed to the ER with a bloody head and a concussion. It would have been horrible.
At least these particular frogs don’t seem to have the timing of the frog we discovered on our trip home from the airport after the Bahamas back in April. That tenacious MF’er didn’t show itself until we were going 80 mph down I-4. There I was, sitting peacefully in the car, relaxed and looking forward to seeing my girls in a couple of hours when this green, slimy thing works it’s way up from under the top front part of our hood and onto our windshield. Squealing like an utter sissy I start stuttering and babbling about the freaking frog on the window!!! (Seriously? Those suction cup thingies on that little terrorist’s fingers must be incredibly strong to withstand that kind of speed and maintain it’s position.)
Of course, hubby has to be the calm, rational one and say, “Kitt! Calm down. The frog’s on the OUTSIDE of the car.”
Please, like something as small as details are going to make a difference when there’s a Fracking FROG moving across a windshield of our car that’s going 80 mph? Seriously…it headed deliberately across the front of the car toward the side mirror on the driver’s side. Yes, hubby had to tell me to stop hyperventilating even as he admired the strength and tenacity of my little foe. He didn’t seem to appreciate that WE WERE UNDER ATTACK!!!!!
As if taking pity on me, he offered to roll the window down to flick the beastie off our vehicle. I nearly gave myself whiplash shaking my head in denial. Hell no!!! Can you imagine if the thing accidentally got flung INTO the car? I’d die!!!! No thanks.
Fortunately, between changing lanes and using the tool inside the car to turn the mirrors, the beast was expelled from our vehicle. Relief may have been too mild a description for how I was feeling. It’s a good thing love means not laughing your butt off at the hysteria of your partner because if he’d have laughed then, I might have killed him.
Am I aware that my fear is irrational? Sure. Does it matter one bit? Hell no! Now it’s your turn to share. What causes irrational fear in you? Any stories to share? Don’t leave me hangin’ here!