Damn, Van Damme!

Today Has been Cancelled

It was so tempting today to just crawl back into bed. I soooo wanted a do over. Maybe it was my fault for not having coffee right away when I woke up. Regardless, It was a test on my “never say die”, sunny disposition. For those of you who don’t realize just how much personality pets can have…keep reading. You’ll get it in spades. Here’s a taste of my day…

Picture this:

They look innocent, don't they?

They look innocent, don’t they?

You’ve made plans with one of your closest friends to take your two dogs and his to the farmers market, then for a walk in the nearby waterfront path. He pulls up to pick you up and your normally docile, mild mannered older baby decides to act out. She’s not a huge fan of vehicles, so she pulls out of her lead, gives you the stink eye, then starts calmly walking down the street.

The "Good" One

The “Good” One

You may not know this particular breed, but the worst thing you can do is chase them. They’re quite speedy and wily…and way too smart for their own good. So you follow. You give her the commands you know she understands. Stop. Stay. Go home. Her response? A derisive look over her shoulder that pretty much tells you…Eff You! But you catch up to her because she’s not really trying to get away. She’s just giving you attitude. Unwilling to risk a repeat, you pick her up and place her in the car and you’re on your way.

The older one is okay now. In fact, she’s on her best behavior because as much as she hates cars, she loves outings. She calmly jumps out of the vehicle and waits patiently. You begin to think “okay, so this morning started with a hiccup. No biggie.” but no….

The "Wild Child"

The “Wild Child”

Your smaller, younger, faster dog…who’s still more of a pup…decides it’s her turn. You crack the door open to click the lead in place and let her out when she spots this teeny, tiny crack of empty space and makes a diving leap for it. Yes, the one dog you NEVER want to escape because she hates orders, refuses commands unless there’s blackmail food involved and is obviously part cheetah (which accounts for her speed)….actually escapes. In the heart of downtown. Surrounded by busy streets. The only thing you can be thankful for is that it’s a little after 8 on a Saturday morning, so traffic is not yet in full swing.

You, your other dog, your friend and his dog all go after her, careful not to give chase and make her think you’re playing a game. She’s so fast it’s tough to keep up without running. You call out to her. You fight the images shoving their way into your imagination of her getting hit by a car. You dread the phone call you might have to make to your family if anything should happen. She runs out into a busy street and you hold your breath as you try to get to her, but she runs back out of it as a car comes her way. The other dogs attempt to herd her toward the farmers market (at least there the streets are blocked off). She races into someone’s yard. Thankfully, they’re mowing their lawn and she’s got an innate dislike for mowers and turns around.

Finally, after a merry 10-15 minute chase and the help of some kind vendors at the Farmers market, she slows down. They were smart enough to pretend they had treats. Unfortunately, she knows that trick….she got only close enough to look carefully before dashing off again, this time toward your friend who knelt down in the middle of the road with his pit-bull. Because she considers the pit one of her best friends, she paused to sniff him. Your friend tackles her and holds her down in the middle of the street allowing you to walk over and finally lock her down.

As I said, my first mistake may have been not having my first cup of coffee…or maybe just getting out of bed. But you guys know me. I’m no quitter, so I persevered. We quickly finished at the farmers market and headed off to the dog park. It was mostly uneventful there…if you don’t count the fact that though both my dogs are not fans of the water, the oldest decided to tromp her way through every puddle she could find. With two coats of fur, when I went to pick her up to put her in the back of the vehicle…her wet muddiness transferred…all over my bare arms and teal pastel clothing.

This was all before 10am.

I debated having a drink… Heck, it’s 5 o’clock somewhere, right? But the truth is, I’m not much of a drinker and definitely not the type to give up control enough to get drunk. So I made myself some coffee instead….and decided to do dishes. Strangely enough, that proved to be dangerous to me, too. I hand wash all my “good” knives…especially my Cutco and Calphalon sets. Foolishly, I set them in a china bowl off to the side, not realizing the bowl was actually on top of something else. The heavy handles made that bowl rock and the knives go airborne…at me.

Miraculously, though knives were flying in my direction, the only think that got cut was a cuticle. Although I was thisclose to turning around and going back to bed so that I could give myself a “do over”, I kept hearing this in my head…

Damn You, Jean Claude Van Damme!

Damn You, Jean Claude Van Damme!

So, as usual, I decided to find music to fit the mood…and inspire…. Here are my Top 5.

This one pretty much describes how my day went…except I had the guts to stick it out, unlike this girl.

When douchebags contribute to your bad day, but you actually manage to stick it out…. Love me some Blakey!

Things to remember to help get you through a bad day…and who doesn’t love this movie? I know every song.

A reminder that getting through it is what it’s all about…because the sun WILL come out tomorrow.

The beauty of humanity and the ties we have… This video is just too sweet and a reminder to me that you never know when some little gesture on your part could be the thing that brightens someone else’s day.

On the plus side…I stuck it out and the day’s already improving! The Illini won their football game! Woot!

So what songs can talk you out of crawling back into bed after a bad day? Have you had any pet created catastrophes? Any self inflicted ones? Make me smile….

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10 thoughts on “Damn, Van Damme!

  1. susielindau says:

    I used to have an Alpha male springer who would run away for hours. He was a nightmare of a dog that knocked the kids down and showed dominance by standing over them. We gave him away….
    Sounds like things are looking up!!!

    • Kitt Crescendo says:

      They are. Thankfully, my girls are very people and dog friendly, so even during her little Houdini moment, I did not have to worry she might harm anyone. Lick them to death, maybe… But no harm.

  2. filbio says:

    Sometimes you just wish you had never gotten out of bed.

    Growing up we had a samoyed. He was a pretty big dog that was the master of his domain. Mainly the whole backyard, which was big. Yet, if someone left the gate open he would zoom out and we had to chase him for blocks. He was harmless but liked messing with us.

  3. brickhousechick says:

    I don’t have any pets except for my fish, Ron. My experiences have been with toddlers who get lose in crowded areas!

    In fact, when I was about 2 years old and my older brother 3 1/2, while my mom was on the phone my brother took my hand, unlocked the front door and led me outside right through a busy highway! We were in our underwear waiting to take baths. When my mom got off the phone to get us in the bathtub she went through the house frantically trying to find us. We lived right next to the highway and her fears had come true! We walked calmly hand in hand dodging the cars until someone got out of their car and whisked us to the other side of the highway. I imagine on that day, my mom wished she hadn’t gotten up and wanted a do over too!

    Glad your babies are safe and that those knives are clean! 🙂

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