Knock It Off!

If only those door-to-door religion peddlers knew what goes on in my head….

Have you ever been tempted to do something seriously shocking to scare these folks away from your door? Out here, about once or twice a month, there will be a knock on my door. Some bright, shiny face will look at me as I place myself in the crack of my door to prevent my dogs from rushing out and offer to share their “good news” or whatever buzz word they’re working with this time. (Once the guy tried to tell me about a “prize” I won… I looked around, there were no cameras, no balloons, no big check and no Ed McMahon….pretty sure I hadn’t won Publishers Clearing House.)

And hey, I’m not exactly the fashion police, but this is Florida. Is it really comfortable to be in panty hose, skirts down to mid calf and blouses buttoned to the top of the neck? The guys aren’t much better. They’re all shirt and tie (of the polyester variety) Never mind that they look like throw backs from the 70’s….they don’t look comfortable…and severely repressed.

Many of you know me. I have absolutely no issue with God, Christianity or faith. None at all. What I do have is a brain and a wild child streak (never mind my inner exhibitionist who keeps wanting to answer the door nekkid). See, I know this gimmick. First, they make the assumption that no one…except them, of course…has a belief of any “true” value. Second, if you say “not interested” and slam the door in their face (which I’ve been known to do), they feel validated for having faced “persecution” and look down their noses at the “poor souls” who “turned their back” or “closed the door” on their chance for salvation. It’s irritating and condescending.

Tell us how you really feel, Kitt…LOL!

Okay, so I’m outspoken. The truth is, if they tried to hand me one of their pamphlets at a park or someplace public, I probably wouldn’t care…but when they come knocking on my door uninvited, it bothers me. I find it intrusive…not to mention I really don’t appreciate the assumptions they make about my personal relationship with God. That’s between me and the big guy. Plus, how do they know what I may or may not have been doing on the other side of that door?

My neighbors knock on my door all the time! In fact, a few weeks ago, my neighbor down the block had her oldest daughter knock on my door to ask me if I could take them to pick up her youngest daughter. Apparently the bus had come early and because they weren’t at the stop, the bus took the little kindergartener back to school. I had no problem with that. Was perfectly willing to help. My other neighbor kid who used to constantly oversleep and miss the bus? Yeah, I took him to school, too…and threatened to buy him an alarm clock for Christmas. The neighbor next door asks to borrow a cup of sugar or for me to pick up the mail…no problem! But random strangers who aren’t even from my neighborhood who disturb my peace and make assumptions about my salvation? Yeah…kind of over it.

Soooo…. You guys are a fun, creative bunch… How have you gotten rid of unwanted salvation peddlers? What wild and wacky suggestions might you have for me? Am I overreacting? I’d love to hear your feelings on door to door faith salesfolk.