Vaginal Victories

When did the vagina become a dirty word?

Think about it. Guys don’t think twice about calling their genitals what they are. Dicks. Cocks. Penises. In fact, neither do women. But when we’re talking lady parts, suddenly we speak in euphemisms. You’ve heard them. Vajayjay, girlie bits. In fact, I’ve even heard grown women refer to it as their “pee pee.” How old are we?

And then there are the derogatory names people call one another… Like cunt and pussy. The word, when used to describe a person is considered nasty and offensive. Okay, so guys can be called a dick, but that’s considered a mild insult by pretty much every stretch of the imagination.

Truthfully, I had an entirely different blog post I’d intended to write today, but then I saw a video that blew my mind. First, because these women had never seen their own vaginas. Part of me wondered how that was possible. Then the little voice inside my head kicked in and said, “You’re not really that surprised, are you? Think about how people are about masturbation or how hard they are on themselves about their bodies as a whole. With all the negative energy surrounding sex, why should anyone be any different about their reproductive organs?”

So I watched the video. I heard their stories. Some of these women touched me with their bravery, yet reminded me again why education and a sex positive message are so important. Take a look. Tell me what you think.

Did you catch what one woman said? All it took was one extremely negative statement from her first lover to completely destroy her confidence in both her vagina and her sexuality. The other woman who touched my heart was the woman who’d been raped. I suspect that one violent act made her feel unclean. Unworthy. Particularly in the vaginal area. I wondered if subconsciously she didn’t look because she wondered if she hadn’t had one, would this horrible crime have happened. Fear is not rational. Pain is not rational. Words hurt. So do actions.

Changing attitudes takes time, but the healing process can start today. With us. It can be as simple as choosing never to use genitalia as an insult word again. Maybe it starts with your lover in the bedroom. Don’t assume they know how beautiful you find their most intimate body parts. Take time to give them an honest and loving compliment. Heck, you may find it improves your sex life!

What other ways can we help improve this message of self love and empowerment? Are you the one in need of this message? What things have been said or done to you that destroyed your sexual confidence. How did you find your way back? Did you find your way back?

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29 thoughts on “Vaginal Victories

  1. Don't Quote Lily says:

    Great post! I really can’t believe some women have never even seen their own bodies! It’s pretty ridiculous that there’s so much hype about sex, masturbation, etc. People need to let go and open their minds, and stop making everything dirty, or wrong. 😉

    • Kitt Crescendo says:

      I agree. It’s only dirty if we make it that way. It’s amazing what certain staid upbringings or personal experiences can do to tamp down a human being’s natural curiosity. Hopefully, with more education, people will become more comfortable with self exploration both visually and manually. 😉

  2. Kristy K. James...Where Romance and Fantasy Collide says:

    I grew up in a very modest family and don’t ever remember hearing the word sex, much less private body parts named. I don’t think it was so much because my parents thought the words were dirty as just private (and kind of embarrassing). As I’ve matured, I will say the words, but I admit it still makes me uncomfortable. 🙂

  3. Jess Witkins says:

    I will be sharing this at work! This is amazing and kudos to each of these women for sharing their stories. Very touching and your points are spot on! And people say women’s healthcare isn’t political? Ha! This is one reason, just one, why it still totally is. Because the very word vagina is considered naughty and unclean.
    America, we’ve got work to do!

    • Kitt Crescendo says:

      Awesome! You do such meaningful, important work. And you’re right. There’s still so much work to do. Thanks for being an awesome voice for the Sex Positive movement.

  4. anna@herding cats & burning soup says:

    Hmm interesting Kitt. The two you mentioned gah yes they pulled at me too. It’s amazing how badly people can hurt one another.

    Now on the actual words. Personally I really don’t like the word vagina but blerg I don’t like the word penis either. Both seem so clinical to me.

  5. mikeyb @ screenkicker says:

    The word ‘vagina’ just seems a bit to anatomical for me. Same with ‘penis’ Like a biology lesson, which kind of takes the sexiness out of it. I prefer the terms ‘pork-sword’ and ‘furry cup’*

    *please note i’ve never actually referred to them as this! dick and pussy are fine 🙂

  6. Professor Taboo says:

    “Extremism” is destructive, bad, often permanent in most all of its forms. What do I mean exactly? Having never seen, touched(?), or explored their own bodies, one of women’s most erotic beautiful aspects/parts is DENIED its full function! But does that mean slam the pendulum the other way? Of course not. Imagine all the disease or emotional harm brought-on if a woman, or man for that matter, has reckless debauching sex with anything that has a pulse! What I’ve always recommended is a WIDE spectrum of openness & honesty (as can be done at that person’s given comfort-level & maturity) in the middle. In other words, quite flexible on either end of that spectrum without going to extremes.

    Now, Kitt, I know what you’re thinking or wanting to say to me — “but Professor! YOU have been in BDSM for 26+ years!” — and you would be correct. That’s probably a subject for another time, huh? LOL 😉

    Nevertheless, I think deprogramming or even throwing out our societal fears, judgmental reactions, guilts, & naivete about eroticism and higher sexuality are most definitely great starting points! Agreed?

    • Kitt Crescendo says:

      Now, Professor, I’m sure you know I’m not exactly pro “extremism” as we’ve discussed this sort of thing on many occasions. I’m also well aware that living in the lifestyle doesn’t make YOU indiscriminate. Ha!

      But seriously, I’m pretty positive you already knew as you wrote this comment out that I’d agree with practically all of your very salient points. It happens to us a lot that way, no? 😉

      • Professor Taboo says:

        Of course my delightful friend! In fact, I’m quiet sure that if you & I held a seminar together…HOLY FLYING CLOTHES EVERYWHERE, that would be the MOST fun sought-after seminar on the continent, no? Imagine the hundreds of subjects talked about, role-playing in all corners of the hotel property (and beyond?), and the amount of laughter & fun had! And the new friendships made? HAH! lol

  7. kindredspirit23 says:

    Without going into long detail, I have had a few incidents which hurt my sexuality. I have slowly made it back. I am pretty comfortable with myself now. I am very comfortable talking about sex with men or women. Saying the names of parts or discussing them doesn’t bother me at all. I have tried, over the years, to become very knowledgeable on diseases, parts, uses, and sexual topics of both male and female. What I guess I am looking for is someone who is willing to share with me and learn with me and grow with me through sex.

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