O is for Oral Sex and Orgasms

Doing it wrongThis is going to come as a shock to a few of you, but….. I’m not perfect.

I know. I know. Take a breath. It’s okay. I promise. You’re going to need it because I’m about to really blow your mind.

Not only am I not perfect, but I was also not always all that great certain aspects of sex. In fact, although I was amazing at receiving oral sex (talk about orgasms galore), I was not so great at giving it.

I had a gag reflex. I could work my fist around the base, knew how to twist with each stroke to enhance sensation, but when my head bobbed down…. Well, let’s just say that yacky, gaggy sounds aren’t really all that sexy, and it didn’t take much to hit that trigger.

Oddly enough, it was a lesson learned from years of dental and orthodontic works that helped me overcome.

What did I learn? If you don’t want to gag, breath in and out through your nose. It sounds so simple it couldn’t possibly work, right? But it does. Trust me. Try it.

The other thing? Well, to be fair, I knew I had this in me. I just didn’t realize how it would impact my cock sucking skills. I’ve got an exhibitionist streak a mile wide. For me it translated into the ability to give some pretty great road head minus the gag reflex because my sense of excitement overruled my usual issues.

Other things that I discovered that helped? There are actually gels, pills, and sprays that can be used to help numb the back of your throat/gag spots. The down side is that if you apply too much, it can also numb the dick you’re trying to pleasure… Which kinda defeats the purpose, right?

Finally, I had a fear of swallowing. I was afraid it would taste gross, maybe make me puke, or spew out so fast I’d choke on it. I was completely unwilling to try at first. But like I said, the possibility of being watched or caught? Brings out my inner wild child/Goddess. Not to mention the helplessness of the man, especially during the time of his release. He can’t think, he loses track of his surroundings, and becomes unable to think. He can only feel….

And that loss of control, along with my part in it?

Huge turn on, of course!

It was one such situation that allowed me to swallow the first time. I was enjoying my power, his helplessness….and feeding off his fear/excitement at the possibility of being caught. I pushed him past that limit and swallowed every drop. And discovered it didn’t taste at all like I feared. (I also later uncovered that different people and foods can change that flavor as well.)

Once I overcame that fear I became quite the skilled mouth. Which turned out to be a very good thing since many of my friends will randomly come up to me and ask me for sex advice. A lot. About a lot of subjects. Guess it’s a good thing I’m open to talking all things sex, huh?

I know I’m probably not the only one who’s ever run into sexual challenges… Please feel free to share some of yours. You never know who else may be going through the same thing…or who may be able to help you overcome.

And now I leave you with a clip on oral from one of my all time favorite shows, Queer as Folk.

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18 thoughts on “O is for Oral Sex and Orgasms

  1. RO says:

    Wow! Love this post! Good to see that you have the courage to say things many of us just think about! (lol) I hate that Queer as Folk is no longer on, too. Very fun and infromative program. Kudos to you and BIG Hugs…

  2. August McLaughlin says:

    An expert I had on my show recommended breathing through your nose during oral as her top tip. So glad you learned that and other helpful ways to make it more comfortable and fun.

    Most of all, I ADORE your sex-positivity and openness. You probably have no idea how many folks you help with posts like these. Thanks for being you!

  3. kindredspirit23 says:

    Got a single sister? Perhaps you are thinking of divorce? Well, just a thought.
    Wonderful post. While I am straight, I know there is a lot to know about all this. Heck, there’s a lot to know about going down on a woman (I do love doing that and I am pretty darn good at it, though getting out of practice). Anyway, thanks for the brutal honesty. Without that from books and people I would still be, um, back in my 20s.
    Scott

  4. Professor Taboo says:

    WELL, this wasn’t all that revealing. 😮

    Hehe 😈 😛

    Come on Sista! Shout it all from the roof-tops! God knows puritan prudish America NEEDS to hear all of it! 😉

    You Rock Kitt! Get on with your Mae West Betty Page self! LOL

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