No Ass, No Choke-That’s What He Said!

“I don’t eat anything that starts with ‘ass’ or ends in ‘choke.'”

Translation?

“I won’t try asparagus or artichoke.”

The moment that cracked me up most, though, happened during a holiday at my mom’s house. She’d made the mistake of asking my hubby something about preferences for veggies.

As most of my regular readers have deduced, my hubby is a bit of a smartass. Let’s be real. You kind of have to be when you’re married to me. For me, his sense of fun and his sharp sarcasm are all part of his charm.

He also likes to cook and bake. He’s actually got some pretty impressive kitchen skills, and he’s creative with his culinary attempts. In fact, he’s often lamented about how he’d love to try his hand at something like the show “Chopped.” The random boxes of ingredients that need to be used to create some sort of masterpiece intrigues him.

But….

My man is picky. In fact, one of the few nods to “non-traditional” ingredients my hubby enjoys is almond milk. Hence the meme. Thus, I keep telling him that were he ever on the show, he’d have to pray for the perfect storm of ingredients or he’d lose.

He doesn’t believe me when I say these things to him, but he is…. And I partially blame it on his dad and the fact that he comes by his smartassery naturally.

Example? I’m half Asian. I love ethnic food. Until I’d met hubby, and he was 21 at the time, I’d never met a guy who hadn’t at least tried Chinese food. I mean, it’s practically a holiday staple with certain people. Yet I learned that my guy not only said “I don’t like Chinese,” he’d never given it a chance.

Why? Two reasons. First, was a combo of his dad and a scene from The Lost Boys. His pops called fried rice “flied lice.” And then he saw this scene….

And it didn’t help that his dad called soy sauce “bug juice.”

Thankfully, back then he was still working to impress me and tried the food. He got over his dislike really quickly once he tried it.

The thing is, when we conned him into trying the cooking tables at a Japanese restaurant, he found a new favorite. When he was peer pressured by colleagues to try seared ahi tuna or my grouper when we were in the Bahamas, he found there’s actually fish he would eat.

Because we went to a restaurant that made guacamole tableside, he tried it…and flan for dessert…and found he liked them both.

But most of the time? He balks like a big baby at anything he deems to be strange. And yet I’m still entertained by him….

Now it’s your turn. What foods kind of squick you out? Or even more interesting…if you’re in a long term relationship, what quirk does your significant other have that you find both entertaining and frustrating?