Feminism and Submission: Kinky Coexistence #BOAW2018

In the last couple of years there has been a huge resurgence of attention and activism placed on feminism and women’s rights. We’ve had coordinated women’s rights marches, much more discussion around equality in pay, education, and career opportunities.

Yes, as a group we’ve become loud and proud, creating campaigns like #metoo and “Fight Like a Girl” designed to encourage our fellow woman to speak out and share in solidarity to the female sisterhood.

Even in movies we’ve been a force to be reckoned with….bringing out badasses and heroes like Arya, Khaleesi, Rey and Wonder Woman… and other movies like Black Panther and Hidden Figures where the women were strong, smart, and powerful. And this is all amazing. Really!

But I wonder sometimes if, in our battle for equality and power, we’ve lost some sensitivity and somehow managed to push others in our sisterhood into a deeper closet…made them doubt themselves and their acceptance in our new, fierce world.

Submission in a time where we’re calling on the badass women must be so difficult. I mean, living in the often highly misunderstood BDSM world is already tough. They already get the whole…blah, blah, blah…”abuse”,….blah, blah, blah…”Stockholm syndrome” crap from people with no understanding of the “Safe, Sane, and Consensual” lifestyle.

But now, when we’re talking about powerful women, I’m sure that there are many women fighting against their nature because somehow submission in this new world (not that it wasn’t already there a little bit) might make them seem weak or the ‘unfeminist.’ Or maybe their sisters will think maybe they’re not living up to their gender/power roles and are somehow encouraging female oppression, either silently make them feel like an insult or embarrassment to the cause, or outright say it…because they don’t understand.

And they’d be WRONG!

“A submissive is free to do whatever they desire, whenever they desire. Yet even with all their freedom, they choose to kneel. That is why submission is so beautiful.” ~ Unknown

My first contribution to Beauty of a Woman GirlBoner edition was Sacred Sexuality. At that time, I discussed my thoughts about being both a Christian and kinky. Why do I bring it up? Because I believe there’s something pretty sacred about the power exchange, too. Heck, people like to throw around the “wives submit unto your husbands” verses as a reason NOT to embrace Christianity, but I believe they don’t fully understand (or choose not to) the difference between submission and subjugation. Plus, the scriptures also say submit to each other, so it also doesn’t limit itself as a one way path down a gender specific street. Pronouns CAN be exchanged, in my opinion.

“The idea of submission is never meant to allow someone to overstep another’s boundaries. Submission only has meaning in the context of boundaries, for boundaries promote self-control and freedom. If a woman is not free and in control of herself, she is not submitting anyway. She is a slave subject to a slave driver, and she is out of the will of God.” ~ Henry Cloud

Submission is a physical, emotional, and mental act of consciously and deliberately giving oneself over into the loving care of another. Far from weak, it’s one of the hardest things to do, and only the strongest of soul and purpose is capable of giving up so much trust and placing it into a worthy Dominant’s hands.

“Fight for freedom when someone suppresses you.. Be submissive when someone gives freedom for you.” Shivaranjani Murugesan

I think that probably speaks to the strength, beauty , and power of submission pretty well. It takes a strong, self aware woman to willingly and knowingly walk this path. Isn’t that also what being a feminist is about? Knowing and understanding your needs and fearlessly reaching out and grabbing it? Being a trailblazer on a road less travelled? Knowing your true self and knowing what it takes to make yourself happy, then fearlessly reaching out for it, screw the voice of public opinion?

I mean, there’s something exquisitely beautiful about BDSM… It works because there’s an honesty to the relationship that you won’t find in many places. They realize that no one gets through life without a few wounds and scars, fears and insecurity. And it’s about building such a strong foundation in honesty and communication that you don’t hide the realest, ugliest parts of you. Because somehow, in the give and take that happens in such a surrender, they want those parts of you, too…and help you learn to accept and love even those darker parts of your soul that make you uniquely you. And it’s true on both sides of the relationship.

“I want the parts you’ve tried to throw away. The parts you were convinced no one could love.” ~ unknown

To me, the fearless strength a submissive has…to take their power and willingly, knowingly hand it over to someone worthy…well, if that’s not both powerful woman and feminist, I don’t know what is. It’s scary, sure. Misunderstood by many, absolutely. But true to your inner self? A beacon of strength that leaves many a Dominant in awe and grateful for the amazing gift? How could they not be?

Submissive, please don’t let yourself be stifled, squashed, or afraid because of the feminist message. YOU are the embodiment of EVERYTHING that makes a woman both powerful and a survivor.

Be fearlessly you!

This post is part of The Beauty of a Woman BlogFest VII! To read more entries, and potentially win a fun prize, click HERE. on August’s McLaughlin’s site between today and 11pm PST March 9th.

Sending you all Love and Empowerment!

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35 thoughts on “Feminism and Submission: Kinky Coexistence #BOAW2018

    • Kitt Crescendo says:

      Thanks, darlin’! I hope it reaches one of those strong, powerful women. Doubt in yourself can really suck the passion out of a person. They need to know we believe they’re strong and powerful. And BEAUTIFUL!

      Like

  1. tabitharayne says:

    Really interesting post Kitt – life is hard enough without feeling like we are bad feminists!
    You highlight some brilliant points here, thank you x x
    Love this blog fest 😍

    Liked by 1 person

    • Kitt Crescendo says:

      Me, too! I absolutely will drop anything and everything to be able to sing out for this fest. I feel it’s so worthwhile! True women should be able to share this kind of solidarity with each other. Maybe we don’t always agree, but being there for one another in support counts!

      Like

  2. Jess Witkins says:

    Kitt, you’re always amazing at gifting people with empowerment and creating a body-positive, non-judgmental space. You rock, lady! I think 2018 could be a very powerful year for women. I hope we keep fighting for all women’s rights. And we definitely have to fight for their healthcare and ownership over their own bodies! Happy festing this week, Kitt!

    Liked by 2 people

    • Kitt Crescendo says:

      Aww, thanks, Jess! That means so much coming from you. I admit, AJ’s post on female exams hit close to home for me on the healthcare front. Grew up surrounded by medicine, and terrible about doing what I know I should.

      Like

  3. KM Huber says:

    “It takes a strong, self aware woman to willingly and knowingly walk this path. Isn’t that also what being a feminist is about?” I could not agree more. What a beautiful and empowering discussion. More than once you brought tears to my eyes, so empowering and inspiring. Truly, thank you, Kitt.
    Karen

    Liked by 1 person

    • Kitt Crescendo says:

      I’m so glad you liked it, Karen. I think, so often, things around this lifestyle are skewed or misread by the unknowing and uneducated. I figured I’d try my hand at a little understanding…and, if I’m lucky, education.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Victoria says:

    Feminism means doing what you want to do. Submission is an incredibly powerful role to occupy. And I’ve seen with my own eye submissives who can run the world and the get shit done. So, Yes to more conversations, consent, and exploring all facets of who we are.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. August McLaughlin says:

    Thank you for shedding light on the strength in submissiveness! I used to think the dominant/top had “all the power,” but the more I’ve learned about BDSM, the more I see that the opposite is often true. And societally, there is always, always strength in compassion, in really hearing someone, even (or especially) when they hold different views.

    Thanks for bringing your huge heart and tremendous insight to the fest, Kitt! It’s brighter because of you.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Kitt Crescendo says:

      Actually, in SSC BDSM, the lion’s share of the power in the exchange is with the submissive. They can decide at any time to take their power back. They can save word. Or leave. The choice is always there and theirs. Which is what makes that submission such a gift. 🙂 I find that incredibly cool.

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Swati Singh says:

    This is such an eye-opener post. Part of the fault lies with the misunderstood representation of submissiveness. Other part lies in the fear.
    There is a lot of opening up that is required in the society and in the right way.
    It is such a taboo in my country. And taboos are always anyways done, just behind the closed doors. The issue is it is often misinterpreted.
    Thank you for this post!

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Dee says:

    This post is so informative and eye opening! I love the distinction between subjugation and submissiveness. Subjugation is what creates fear, squashes, and stifles, at least in my experience. The idea of being submissive is much more freeing and empowering! Thanks for sharing this!

    Liked by 1 person

  8. shanjeniah says:

    So much food for thought here, Kitt!
    Having grown up in an abusive environment, it’s hard for me to trust that much – if I had submissive tendencies, they were squashed in childhood.
    True feminism must include room for all ways of being strong women, I think.

    Liked by 1 person

      • shanjeniah says:

        I like her, too.

        I often think my childhood was the seed of something different for my children. It also made me strong, and very empathetic, and those are things I love about myself. I turned to reading for escape, and writing to work through things I wasn’t allowed to express otherwise – and those things changed my life.

        I don’t know that I’d change it, if I could – but I won’t inflict it on my kids, because there are other ways to help children keep their strength.

        Liked by 1 person

  9. kindredspirit23 says:

    You have me smiling and shaking a bit! Truly. That was awe-inspiring.
    I read/listen to a lot of August M. and simply love her works and efforts.
    Your post nearly left me speechless. I dropped the Christianity part a while ago, but not because of BDSM nor Dom tendencies. However, you did help me see how they could fit together.
    Again, very special. that hubby is a lucky guy.
    Scott

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Erica Ashley says:

    What a fantastic post! Thank you, Kitt. So many of us already feel guilty or like we’re not being “good feminists” because of the messaging we’re exposed to by the media. We don’t need any additional doubt or shame from our sisters! Yet, ignorance breeds pain. When we are afraid to talk to one another or afraid to talk about specific subjects we allow ignorance to flourish. However the individuals in the margins are not responsible for educating everyone else! I think we all have a responsibility to educate ourselves so that we can understand our sisters better 🙂 I wholeheartedly agree with this line “but I believe they don’t fully understand (or choose not to) the difference between submission and subjugation.” It’s so sad when people choose not to understand and remain ignorant. Thank you for this informative and inspiring post. I already feel more empowered just by reading it!!!

    Liked by 1 person

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