S.H. Timmins is Coming Out of the Shadows

Writing is an amazing thing. It can help to build all the most incredible relationships. A lot like reading can find you some amazing, like-minded friends, sharing a passion for creating stories can do the same thing.

It was actually through a Facebook book club where I met the intrepid S. H. Timmins, author extraordinaire. Heck, these days, we help admin the page together along with two other terrific book lovers.

So, of course, when I learned that her most recent book was coming out, I begged her for a chance to pimp it…and her…to my fabulous friends who follow my blog. And she agreed to honor me with an interview to introduce her to you guys.

Me: When did you start writing? 

S.H.: I have always been writing short stories for my own pleasure, and finally took the leap into independent writing as a career path in 2015.

Me: When did you realize you wanted to pursue this passion professionally? 

S. H.: When did you realize you wanted to pursue this passion professionally?
A: It was my mother who always encouraged me to pursue writing as a profession. I lacked the confidence in my ability, but she always saw the best in me. When she passed away in 2013, I channeled my pain into written words to help cope with the loss. After a year of purging my grief, I found the courage to write my first novel.

Me: I’m so sorry to hear about your mom, but I’m sure she would be so thrilled to know her encouragement made such a huge difference in helping give you the strength to pursue your dreams of becoming an author. Speaking of authors… What authors inspire you?

S. H.: So many authors have inspired my passion for books and reading. Most of my early years were spent reading paranormal and fantasy fiction. Later, I would discover a whole new world of independent authors that opened my eyes to incredible possibilities. Tara Sivec and Emma Chase were the two authors that inspired me to write my first book; a romantic comedy titled, Bent.

BTW, Bent is currently available for $.99, so go ahead and click that link! And her newest book, Lies in the Shadows, just released today! And she’s willing to share her thoughts on her characters with us. How cool is that?

SJTimmins

Me: Tell me what characteristics you love most about your hero & heroine?

S. H.: All my heroines are independent and their own heroes. The heroine in my latest book is brave and resilient. She endures and doesn’t break. Qualities we all strive to nurture in ourselves. I’m not sure what characteristics I love about my hero, but I enjoyed how his character evolved with the story and showed personal growth in the end.

Me: What did you hate most? 

S.H.: I hated having to keep the big twist a secret until the end of the book. It’s not easy keeping a secret.

Me: What was the most difficult part to write in this book?

S.H.: The most difficult parts of any book for me to write are the love scenes. It is hard to make them realistic, yet fantastical. There are only so many words you can use before it becomes redundant and the scenes lose their luster.

Me: What was your favorite part to write in this book?

S.H.: My favorite parts to write in this book were the interactions between the characters. I always enjoy watching them come to life on the pages and how they develop their own personalities.

Me: Wow! Talk about awesomeness. Thanks for stopping by and sharing! Now it’s time to pimp away, lady!


¸.•´¸.•*´¨♡ ¸.•*¨
It’s Live! Available on Amazon and Kindle Unlimited! ✫
¸.•´¸.•*´¨♡ ¸.•*¨
♡ ¸.•´✶

Lies in the Shadows by S.H. Timmins
A Darkest Needs Novel – Book Three

There is a difference between
living and existing.
Sometimes you need to
walk with the nightmares
to find your way back
to the light.
He lied to me.
He lies to everyone,
including himself.
But I know a secret.
He may want to break me,
but he is healing us both.
This is my truth.

Amazon
• US: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07HCDJ261
• CA: https://www.amazon.ca/dp/B07HCDJ261
• UK: https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B07HCDJ261
• AU: https://www.amazon.com.au/dp/B07HCDJ261

And if you want to follow this awesome lady, she can be found on Facebook HERE. Or her Amazon author page HERE.

So please stop by, show Sandra some love…and share in her excitement by congratulating her on her new release!

 

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The GirlBoner Goddess, August McLaughlin!

 

August M headshot

Hey everyone! August McLaughlin has been one of my very dear friends for quite some time now. We met through blogging and found very quickly that we had a shared passion for female emotional and sexual empowerment. We need strong, sexual, sensual women! Too often sex has been wrapped up as a weapon or as something bad or negative, and through our own experiences, we’ve found our voices to help.

Girl Boner cover uvSo, of course, when I found out that my girl was putting out a book made for the women we love to embrace and empower, I had to show her some love. As always, she graciously accepted the opportunity to share on my blog. (BTW, you’re going to want to read to the end as there may be an opportunity for YOU there.)

Me: Welcome to theinnerwildkat, August! So glad you could join me! I’m just going to dive in and pick your beautiful brain, ok? Tell us how the GirlBoner brand came to be…(How did you get the inspiration? Where did the name come from?)

August: Like many people, I learned very little about sex and sexuality during my youth. In sex ed, I remember learning a little bit about male sexual pleasure—at least that it existed—and zilch about anything positive for gals. So as soon as I learned what “boner” meant I literally wondered, What about Girl Boners?
Years later, embracing my sexuality helped me heal from a severe eating disorder. Once I’d built a writing career, it felt natural to use my platform to shed light on the type of sexual empowerment that helped save my life and that so many people still stand to gain.

Me: What of the subjects you covered in your book were most eye opening to you?

August: One of the biggest involved the (creepy) history of masturbation—or, rather, how solo play has been viewed and, no pun intended, handled. I want someone to write a thriller about that history one day. It would make an excellent movie! 

Me: We may have to dig deeper into that subject at a later time if you’re willing. But for now, let’s keep going. What did you find most entertaining? Maybe even funny? (Heck, sex can be both amazing and funny, right?) 

August: Heck, yes! Some of my favorite kicks and giggles came from my editor’s notes. I remember one clearly: “Did you mean to say ‘ring around the peenie?’” (I guess you had to be there!) (Also, yes, I did.)

GBR logo 2018Me: What about creating your brand—between your books, your radio show, your blog, BOAW—wowed YOU most?

August: I was stunned to find that I enjoyed blogging. My then agent had suggested it, and I was like, “Write more?” I was already writing articles nearly full-time and working on another novel. But I loved blogging straight away, and far more so when I started breaking the “rules” and focusing on material I felt compelled to explore with the goal of having fun or helping others.
Another biggie was realizing how important connection is to me. Talking with people and sharing others’ stories has become a major passion of mine, and fills in emotional gaps when I’m spending a lot of time in the writing cave.

Me: Looking back, is there anything you might have done differently?

August: There are some technical things I wish I’d done differently, like starting a mailing list straight away. I also went through a rough patch in 2016 and wish I had gotten support sooner. Let both of those be a lesson to anyone reading this: If you have a brand or product, start your list! And always, always take care of you.

Me: You have so many diverse guests on your radio show. Who has been your most memorable interview?

August: Some of the most memorable are the ghost hunter who I interviewed because I wanted to know if ghosts have sex, Tika Thornton, an incredible woman who survived sex trafficking, and my mom, who I never imagined with join me in the Girl Boner studio, but I’m so grateful she has – twice!

Me: I LOVE your mom. I was thrilled when she friended me on Facebook, and I love the bag she made that I won during one of the Beauty Of A Woman events, which leads in quite nicely to my next question. What has been your biggest life lesson through this whole process?

August: Probably that your mission is your reward. I wrote about this on my blog recently, but in short, I initially thought my Girl Boner book would release within a year or two once I launched the blog series—which was many proposals, two agents, multiple rejections and plenty of life ago.
In that time, though, Girl Boner has taken me in directions I hadn’t anticipated and allowed me to learn so much about myself, sexuality and my audience. I’m not sure we writers can write an impactful book without knowing who we’re speaking to on a deep level, especially when it comes to nonfiction.

Me: How has this experience changed YOU?

August: I’ve learned to be a better listener and how important listening is. It’s also given me a profound sense of purpose. It’s so cliché, but Girl Boner really does get me up in the morning most days. I love people so much and it means so much to me to be able to connect with so many wonderful ones and to write and speak about issues so near to my heart.
It’s also forced me to learn patience. My favorite type is the kind we don’t even realize we’re practicing (LOL). When you continue to create content and put forth effort, including efforts to take care of yourself, you don’t feel like you’re waiting around for any particular thing. You can stay hopeful, but also rest easy, knowing you’re doing the thing already.

Me: What’s next for you?

August: I’m kicking of a book launch tour with readings, live Girl Boner Radio recordings and more in Minneapolis, LA, NYC, Las Vegas and hopefully other cities, starting August 11th. I’m really looking forward to mixing and mingling with folks across the country. Between trips, I’ll be working on other-things-Girl Boner from home, with my animal coworkers.

Me: Would you like to share something about the book? (Excerpt, quote, anything?)

August: One of my favorite quotes in the companion book releasing the same day, Girl Boner Journal, came from a random tweet I posted a couple of years ago. I like it because it feels so true and so GB: 



“You know what lowers many women’s libido? Inequality. Repression. Damaging myths. When women rise, so do Girl Boners.”

Me: Well said! And with that, how can we get our hands on one of your hot new books?

August: The book is available for pre-order on amazon HERE. I’m running a little sweepstakes with The Pleasure Chest for anyone who preorders, which people can enter HERE! Thanks so much for having me, Kitt. You’re spectacular. 

Me: August, you’re welcome here anytime! Congratulations and good luck! Also, thanks so much for mentioning me in the book! Sooo HONORED!

Now, it’s time for you guys! What do you think? Any questions for me? August? Feel free! Also, you should really follow this woman. She’s got a ton of amazing knowledge to share if you’re interested. 

Arrogance Breeds Contempt #cockygate #ByeFaleena

If there’s one thing in the world I hate, it’s bullies and mean people.

This is a big world. And it’s hard. There is NO reason or excuse for being nasty or hurtful.

Having said that, I just had to speak out when I saw all the crap going down in the romance world.

Imagine the arrogance it must take for a person to copyright an everyday word and claim it for “branding” purposes. Imagine said author using the apparent inability of her fans to distinguish her works over other authors because they use the same word in the title. Then imagine this same author choosing to go after other authors with the word in their titles and basically serving them with cease and desist orders and threatening litigation.

Seriously?

And if you are/were her fan, how are you not offended? I mean:

  1. She basically called you stupid.
  2. She’s saying you can’t read well enough to recognize her name.
  3. She doesn’t think you’re capable of returning a book once you realize you’ve downloaded the wrong one.

All this, and you’re still willing to be her little monsters running around giving other people 1 star reviews because they have that word in their title or they have books whose characters share names with some of hers? Or if they’ve used the same stock photos in their book covers?

Seriously?

Put on your big girl panties and grow the eff up. You want to be big in this business? Do it by writing amazing books people can’t put down! Do it with class and respect for your peers. Don’t try to shut everyone else down in the hopes that you’ll be the only one left standing, and therefore “succeeding” by default. That’s just crappy.

And if you haven’t heard about this or you don’t know the word? Let Kid Rock educate you….

Yup!

In her ideal world, no one else is allowed to use “Cocky.”

Whew! She must be relieved Kid hadn’t already beat her to it, huh?

And you know what breaks my heart? Some hard working, classy authors have already changed their titles thanks to her strong arm tactics. Even though they have every right to the word.

This is one of those times when readers and writers need to band together to show that this behavior of hers is unacceptable. That trying to undermine other people’s careers and livelihoods is not ok and has not gone unnoticed. That these lesser known authors have our support!

Here’s a LINK to a petition to cancel the Cocky trademark.

One blog, Ana’s Attic Book Blog has already found a bunch of authors that could use a little Love via book buys. Check out her post here on Facebook! https://www.facebook.com/plugins/post.php?href=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.facebook.com%2Fanasatticbookblog%2Fposts%2F975579679266933&width=500

And like her page while you’re at it.

If you want to better understand the situation and how utterly effed up it really is? Check out this very well done Article.

Biotch! You’ve gone too far.

You’re arrogant, not cocky.

Why?

Because, as Kid Rock says, “It ain’t braggin’, mother fucker, if you back it up.” And people who can back it up don’t need the down and dirty tricks that you pulled, chick.

Need proof? Here’s how talent backs it up.

https://www.facebook.com/plugins/post.php?href=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.facebook.com%2Fchantel.seabrook%2Fposts%2F10216215325158677&width=500

That’s class.

What I feel for this stunt?

Contempt.

What do you guys think? Let me know in the comments. I’m randomly picking 5 people to give whichever Cocky book listed on Ana’s page that you’d like. Again, all you have to do is share your thoughts….whatever they may be.

Feminism and Submission: Kinky Coexistence #BOAW2018

In the last couple of years there has been a huge resurgence of attention and activism placed on feminism and women’s rights. We’ve had coordinated women’s rights marches, much more discussion around equality in pay, education, and career opportunities.

Yes, as a group we’ve become loud and proud, creating campaigns like #metoo and “Fight Like a Girl” designed to encourage our fellow woman to speak out and share in solidarity to the female sisterhood.

Even in movies we’ve been a force to be reckoned with….bringing out badasses and heroes like Arya, Khaleesi, Rey and Wonder Woman… and other movies like Black Panther and Hidden Figures where the women were strong, smart, and powerful. And this is all amazing. Really!

But I wonder sometimes if, in our battle for equality and power, we’ve lost some sensitivity and somehow managed to push others in our sisterhood into a deeper closet…made them doubt themselves and their acceptance in our new, fierce world.

Submission in a time where we’re calling on the badass women must be so difficult. I mean, living in the often highly misunderstood BDSM world is already tough. They already get the whole…blah, blah, blah…”abuse”,….blah, blah, blah…”Stockholm syndrome” crap from people with no understanding of the “Safe, Sane, and Consensual” lifestyle.

But now, when we’re talking about powerful women, I’m sure that there are many women fighting against their nature because somehow submission in this new world (not that it wasn’t already there a little bit) might make them seem weak or the ‘unfeminist.’ Or maybe their sisters will think maybe they’re not living up to their gender/power roles and are somehow encouraging female oppression, either silently make them feel like an insult or embarrassment to the cause, or outright say it…because they don’t understand.

And they’d be WRONG!

“A submissive is free to do whatever they desire, whenever they desire. Yet even with all their freedom, they choose to kneel. That is why submission is so beautiful.” ~ Unknown

My first contribution to Beauty of a Woman GirlBoner edition was Sacred Sexuality. At that time, I discussed my thoughts about being both a Christian and kinky. Why do I bring it up? Because I believe there’s something pretty sacred about the power exchange, too. Heck, people like to throw around the “wives submit unto your husbands” verses as a reason NOT to embrace Christianity, but I believe they don’t fully understand (or choose not to) the difference between submission and subjugation. Plus, the scriptures also say submit to each other, so it also doesn’t limit itself as a one way path down a gender specific street. Pronouns CAN be exchanged, in my opinion.

“The idea of submission is never meant to allow someone to overstep another’s boundaries. Submission only has meaning in the context of boundaries, for boundaries promote self-control and freedom. If a woman is not free and in control of herself, she is not submitting anyway. She is a slave subject to a slave driver, and she is out of the will of God.” ~ Henry Cloud

Submission is a physical, emotional, and mental act of consciously and deliberately giving oneself over into the loving care of another. Far from weak, it’s one of the hardest things to do, and only the strongest of soul and purpose is capable of giving up so much trust and placing it into a worthy Dominant’s hands.

“Fight for freedom when someone suppresses you.. Be submissive when someone gives freedom for you.” Shivaranjani Murugesan

I think that probably speaks to the strength, beauty , and power of submission pretty well. It takes a strong, self aware woman to willingly and knowingly walk this path. Isn’t that also what being a feminist is about? Knowing and understanding your needs and fearlessly reaching out and grabbing it? Being a trailblazer on a road less travelled? Knowing your true self and knowing what it takes to make yourself happy, then fearlessly reaching out for it, screw the voice of public opinion?

I mean, there’s something exquisitely beautiful about BDSM… It works because there’s an honesty to the relationship that you won’t find in many places. They realize that no one gets through life without a few wounds and scars, fears and insecurity. And it’s about building such a strong foundation in honesty and communication that you don’t hide the realest, ugliest parts of you. Because somehow, in the give and take that happens in such a surrender, they want those parts of you, too…and help you learn to accept and love even those darker parts of your soul that make you uniquely you. And it’s true on both sides of the relationship.

“I want the parts you’ve tried to throw away. The parts you were convinced no one could love.” ~ unknown

To me, the fearless strength a submissive has…to take their power and willingly, knowingly hand it over to someone worthy…well, if that’s not both powerful woman and feminist, I don’t know what is. It’s scary, sure. Misunderstood by many, absolutely. But true to your inner self? A beacon of strength that leaves many a Dominant in awe and grateful for the amazing gift? How could they not be?

Submissive, please don’t let yourself be stifled, squashed, or afraid because of the feminist message. YOU are the embodiment of EVERYTHING that makes a woman both powerful and a survivor.

Be fearlessly you!

This post is part of The Beauty of a Woman BlogFest VII! To read more entries, and potentially win a fun prize, click HERE. on August’s McLaughlin’s site between today and 11pm PST March 9th.

Sending you all Love and Empowerment!

Lost, Broken, or Hope? Which Are You?

My heart hurts today. I just can’t sit here and say nothing. Am I the only one who feels it lately? All this hate, rage, toxicity oozing out of social media?

Can you not feel its destructiveness to your bones? I can.

There’s already so much pain and desolation and fear in the world. Must we really rabidly spew more hate into it? For the first time in a long time I hid someone’s posts from my Facebook posts from my feed because I couldn’t stand the hate messages wrapped up as “activism” anymore. Every message was filled with vitriol, spewed hate, and fanned the flames of extremist behavior while denigrating anyone who might value something other than what she believed.

I felt sad. Sorry for her. That she was so unhappy and filled with poison and looking for someone to blame. But I couldn’t be in her universe anymore. For me. I couldn’t condone her messages of verbal violence against others. That’s not a solution. That’s not helping make this world better. That’s just more of the horrible cycle of fear and hate and violence.

Listen…

I live in Florida. My heart broke for all the lost young lives. I ache for their families. It hit very close to home. The violence is not ok. I think we all agree on that. Gun control? Maybe it will work, maybe it won’t. I don’t pretend to know. Do I think mental health issues play a big part in the violence of today? Absolutely. Do I think teachers should have to carry guns? No.

Billy Graham, who has been a religious leader to many, also died this this week. He lived to a ripe old age. Good for him.

Death isn’t death. Everyone finds their strength to move on from different sources, faith in God being a big one. So when I see the same people shouting hate comments at political leaders due to gun control laws, then spewing filth, nastiness, and wishing violence on a religious leader, I get sick to my stomach. I begin to wonder just how broken you are to fan more fuels of hate after such a painful week, and I walk away.

I feel sorry for the person, but I forgive them and I leave. Because I can’t be around that. I refuse to believe that the world is so broken and disgusting that it now only filled with rage and hate and finger pointing.

I don’t like people who extol hate and vicious rage. Who fan flames of doubt and violence. I may love you as a person, but it doesn’t mean I like you. Or that I’m blind to a person’s effect.

I guess what I’m asking is this… Have you considered the message you’re sending out into the world? Is it truly representative of the person you are? Are you helping to make the world a better place? What things have been hurting your heart lately? What things have given you hope or joy?

Make It Memorable; Love’s Many Faces

Valentine’s Day. The day for lovers, right? Romance, flowers, whatnot…

Yeah, maybe.

But that’s not my most memorable Valentine’s Day.

Don’t get me wrong, there were elements of those things in that day, but that’s not the BIG MOMENT.

My day?

It was supposed to be my day off, but I had to finish making a schedule (and hubby was working anyway) so I stopped in to work for a few hours. I didn’t stay long; was out by noon. No sooner had I left that my office was calling again. Turned out Edible Arrangements had been there and delivered a gift from my guy.

GREAT start to my Day, right? I headed home to start cooking hubby his favorite Filipino dishes…chicken adobo (adobong manok), fried rice, and broccoli.

Hubby walked in to a great smelling house and a hot, tasty meal… There were probably gifts, but I can’t remember now. What I do remember is that he loved the meal, that I went to bed early as I had an early work day & a 14 hour shift the next day….

Right about now you’re scratching your head and wondering what is so memorable, right?

Well, I hadn’t gotten there yet.

Sometime after 11 pm, hubby came in and woke me up. Said he was having pretty severe abdominal pain and wanted to make sure I was ok. Apparently, he was worried it might have been food poisoning except I’d been sleeping like a baby. So then he narrowed the pain to his lower right side.

Googling his symptoms, I realized it could be his appendix. He was scared, but also worried about me and work. So I talked him into going to the ER alone, making him promise to call me if it turned out to be anything serious. At about 1:30 am, I got the call. He sounded a little terrified.

Him: Lovey, they told me I have a necrotic appendix.

Me: Oh no!

Him: Can you come here? They told me I need surgery. I tried to ask if they could write me a prescription to slow it down in the meantime so I could call a doctor and schedule it.

Me: (choking back a chuckle) Yeah. Pretty sure that’s not gonna happen.

Him: Nope, but it was worth a shot. They told me they didn’t think I understood. The ambulance is on the way now to take me to surgery. Can you come, please?

Me: I’m on my way.

Him: I can’t believe you poisoned me for Valentines Day.

Me: I did not. And stop saying that or there may be people who believe you or at least start to wonder. I’m on my way.

And that’s how I found myself in the emergency room on the 15th, calling out from my job, calling friends to walk my dogs during the day, and headed for the hospital to be with my husband.

So, yeah, my most Memorable Moment had everything to do with the ‘For Better or Worse, In Sickness and in Health’ part of our vows. Those moments mean more than any random superficial stereotypes. And that he hadn’t lost his sense of humor, even through his fear and pain? That just shows I married a badass.

So tell me about your most memorable Valentine’s Day. Did it embody any part of the wedding vow? Or are you an non-believer, feeling this only lines Hallmark’s pockets with gold?

#FreeThinkers Music and a Shout Out to @LostInVegas83

If you’ve been a regular reader here, you know I’m passionate about my music. It goes soul deep for me. What can I say? It’s what happens when you’ve been singing almost longer than you’ve been walking.

Because of that, YouTube has become a fixture in my life. I love to check out the recommendations. So when this video crossed my iPad, I had to check it out.

So these guys, George and Ryan, are definitely outside of their preferred genre on this song. I mean, it’s in my wheelhouse, and I adore Chris Stapleton’s music. How could I resist? But for these guys? They, by their own admission, don’t know much about country, which makes it awesome the whole thing about their channel is this: Opening Minds & Broadening Horizons! Hence ‘Free Thinkers.’ And they lead by example!

I hadn’t realized there were review channels out there like this…and since watching them, I’ve checked out a few others, but these guys, by far, are the best. And even better, their introducing themselves, me, and others to all sorts of other eclectic music types.

And they’ve introduced amazing bands I’ve never heard of… Like this one! It’s kind of classical meets metal? The violinist was Lindsey Sterling-esque. And it’s got a sick beat! Pretty badass, right? Still trying to figure out how Ne Obliviscaris is pronounced.

They’ve opened my eyes to new artists like this badass British female rapper, Lady Leshurr. I mean, seriously. I have tons of respect for a woman who can go hard like she does…taking no prisoners. Poetry to a rhythm the way she throws it is pure art!

As for this one, I’m not so sure how to qualify this particular genre. Progressive rock? I truly loved this one. It reminded me of some of my favorite music back in the nineties. The lead singer of the Deftones sort of reminded me of Morrissey. Very velvety smooth with it’s seductive appeal. Loved it!

This is the last I’ll share right now… This guy? Impressed the heck out of me. With his intelligent verse and slick beats, it’s no surprise that Lute wowed me. He keeps things down to earth and does it with style.

Yup! Lots of new music and styles, and I LOVE that these guys brought them to me. I’m eternally grateful for George and Ryan aka Lost In Vegas. Thanks for feeding my music passions!

As for you guys, what new music has inspired you? Do you watch music reviews on YouTube? Any other kind of reviews? Feel free to share links in the comments.