R is for Romance

Everyone has their own unique ideas of what romance is or is not.

When I was younger, I had that tv idealized version of what romance was. You know, the one where the handsome dreamboat sweeps you off your feet a la Prince Charming?

Back then romance was a boy who wanted to do all those images that danced in my head. Walk on the beach hand in hand. Make soft, gentle love in front of a fire after feeding each other fruits, cheeses, and wines. Or maybe he’d fight for me against some equally and some guy who had nefarious intent in mind… 

Yeah. They’ve all been well used tropes in many a romance novel. Heck, practically the only stereotype I didn’t hold up was the billionaire boyfriend, and that’s probably because I always figured I’d be rich enough in my own right…and I have always found love to be more important than financial security.

But as I lived a little more life, my ideas of romance changed. Drastically.

 

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When I was online and would be approached by men, I’d ask what they liked. Answers that included walks on the beach, quiet nights by the fire, or giving massages (foot or otherwise) to their romantic interests tended to get a snort and a cynical eye roll. 

I grew up. I was no longer interested in the predictable pat answers that were more than likely either lines to get a woman in the sack or really were into those things. If they were the latter, they were definitely too soft & too much of a pushover for me. I am more intense and not so easily impressed with outward trappings. If it’s the former, I’d lost a bit of respect for their lack of honesty & need to play games.

These days, romance to me is centered more around open communication, a willingness to share fantasies, honesty, someone who has both shared and differing interests from me. He may love to do things like surprise me with my favorite sweet treat or cooking me dinner. He loves hanging out with me as much as his friends. His mouth is both orally talented and verbally, too. Yes, a smartass with a sense of humor is practically mandatory for a woman like me. 

Most important thing for me when talking romance? Someone who loves and accepts me just the way I am. Warts and all. Proud of my accomplishments and can’t wait to introduce me to the people and things in his life that he’s passionate about, and dying to learn the same about me. 

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I guess what I’m saying is…. These days, romance these days is a shared sense of adventure, unconditional acceptance, laughter, honesty, and a sense of joy in the little surprises that let me know he listens, he cares, and he just loves doing something nice for me for no other reason than it makes him happy to put a smile on my face. 

What about you? What screams romance to you? Is it the same thing that it was in your youth? Have you been fortunate enough to find the person who has brought it into your life? What’s the most romantic gesture you’ve ever recieved?