Tuned In And Turned On

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, it’s Frisky Friday! So where else would I be if not here? I’d be at Bring Back Desire, of course. The name of the game there is to “Stay Tuned In and Turned On…” and Ande Lyon is phenomenal hostess. Yes, this is the article I told you guys about. 🙂

We would love if you guys would stop on in and check it out!

Frisky Friday

Women Helping Women–I’m Wowed!

There is no question that things have been absolutely crazed in my personal life lately. I found a side job I didn’t even know I was looking for…and that’s exciting. But even better? One of the coolest people I have the privilege to follow on Twitter and Facebook, Ande Lyons, reached out to me.

Ande runs this amazing site for women called Bring Back Desire. The focus of her website is “sharing resources with women who want more intimacy, passion, sensual pleasure and sexual excitement”. I think that’s an amazing cause. I’ve been thrilled when she’s chosen to comment on one of my posts. I really do admire her work and what it means to women.

Well, late Sunday evening I saw an email from her in my mailbox. She really enjoyed my blog post about the differences between Sex and Making Love from a few days ago. She has asked me if I’d be willing to repurpose it a little bit so she can post it as an article on her website. How cool is that? Of course I told her I’d be thrilled to do so. I mean, when someone you look up to and admire for their contributions like that comes to you…WOW!

Anyway, I have been a bad blog buddy lately, between finishing my project, starting a new business and now this…but I’ll be back in a few days. I promise! I love you guys too much to stay away. You’re all awesome!

Cheating: Where Does Your Line Get Crossed?

Ok, guys and gals…it’s confession time again. Today’s topic? Fidelity. No, no…hubby and I are fine. No need to worry on that front. Nothing extramarital…unless you count the heroes in my naughty, naughty stories…as they dance their way through my brain.

Here’s the deal. I’m very quirky about extramarital affairs. I hated The Scarlet Letter and refuse to watch or read The Bridges Of Madison County. Maybe it comes from my dad repeatedly cheating on my mom, but I don’t find anything that glorifies or excuses adultery to be the slightest bit appealing. Having said that…I’m about to throw a big kink (pun intended) in this whole thing. Strange as it may seem, I have absolutely no issue with committed polyamorous relationships or sharing as long as both parties in the committed relationship are either there or have given consent. Yeah, that means I’m okay with exploring the voyeur/exhibitionist sides of relationships. The truth is, I LOVE reading this kind of book. Menage, BDSM, exihibitionism/voyeurism…I’m good with all of it! In fact, that’s the playground where I enjoy dipping my pen. Is this kind of relationship something I’d be interested in for real? No. I’m perfectly happy with having only one husband. Two may be a bit much to handle…LOL!

Why am I bringing this up? First, because I can. 😉 Second, because a friend of mine called me yesterday and got me thinking about cheating. She was talking in the context of her ex-husband. I’ll expand on this in just a moment.

Here’s the question I have for you guys before I continue with her story and put in my $.02. What construes cheating to you?

I know people can be very different about this. I’ve spoken to some women who’ve told me that the reason they’ve never purchased a sex toy (vibrator, dildo) is because their husband would feel threatened…and felt that this was necessary because they weren’t good enough in bed or some other such (in my opinion only) nonsense. The husbands have stated that they viewed this as a form of cheating. Personally, I subscribe to my friend Ande’s point of view that it can enhance the relationship (especially when used together). I don’t think that’s particularly progressive, just fact. Am I wrong? Well, if my girl Katie could cheat on her DVR with her boyfriend, I guess anything’s possible…;-)

I have other friends who feel watching porn is cheating. Personally, I don’t have a problem there, either. In fact, hubby and I have watched adult movies together. Sometimes it can spice things up! Sometimes it can give you ideas. Hopefully those ideas are more feasable than Natalie’s, because trips to the ER are not much fun, not to mention embarassing to explain to hospital personnel…trust me. I used to be hospital personnel…I could tell you stories! LOL! (Maybe another time)

What about constant texting and Facebook/Twitter messaging or emailing? Especially if it’s kept quiet from the significant other? Some feel that this is cheating emotionally. I don’t think it’s a good idea, but I don’t quite think it’s cheating. It’s definitely a gateway to heading down that path…because then it’s usually followed by meeting for coffee or drinks without telling the person with whom you’re in a relationship. Yeah…that’s a gateway. Anything that requires secretiveness and/or lies is probably not a great path to go down…but still not quite cheating.

Prostitutes or other one nighters…different area code or not? Yeah, to me that’s cheating. Sex of any kind without your significant other’s concent crosses a line for me. Am I wrong?

Here’s the story with my friend’s ex. You guys tell me if you think it’s cheating. My last statement above should probably tell you what my thoughts are… Her ex-husband used to sit online looking at porn and “spanking his monkey”. A lot. Here’s the twist. He was “jerkin’ his guerkin” to live webcam feeds. Interacting with the girls. Paying them. Telling them what to do. Watching them while they watched him. In a situation like that, would you consider it cheating? That he was doing this furtively goes without question. Where do you draw your cheating line?

Haven

I heard this beautiful, heartfelt song last night.  I’d never heard of this artist before, but he really touched my heart.  I discovered him through the Facebook page of a website called http://www.bringbackdesire.com/.  From what I can gather, their whole premise is happy relationships…how to make them, how to find them, how to keep them.

But the thing that really got me was the song.  “A Place Called Love”.  Hmmm.  I’d never thought of love as a place before.  I always thought of it as a thing, a feeling, an emotion.  So I dug a little deeper in my heart…and here’s what I found.

When times are rough
And life gets me down,
I run to you.
When inspiration
Whispers in my ear,
I look for you.
When joy bubbles out
And laughter rings,
I share with you.
When I am lost
And small, and scared
I call to you.
The ups, the downs
The highs, the lows
It’s you and me.
You’re my home.

Yup…this is what the song means to me.  In the immortal words of Martina McBride, “Love’s the only house.”  For me, Love=Home.  If you’ve got a problem with my equation…find one that works for you.  I wish you happiness.  It’s not an easy commodity to come by.