Celebrate Love

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Today is hubby and my anniversary, so I wanted to take a moment to share how utterly amazing it feels to have someone who loves and supports you and your dreams through thick and thin, good and bad, and the failures as well as successes.

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He waited patiently for me to be ready, and it took me years. He took the heat as the guy dragging his feet about getting to the altar when it was really me, not wanting to rush or make a mistake…because I will only marry once. Yes, I believe in happily ever after.

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I’m blessed with a guy who loves God, me, and the Dallas Cowboys.

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Someone with whom I can share my adventures.

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Who isn’t afraid to get up and dance..

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Who appreciates my brand of humor and my naughty mind…

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Who loves coming back to Chicago as much as I do…

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Yup! He’s my home, my soul mate, and my best friend….and he’ll be my life long adventure.

My wish for all of you today is that you all have or find someone who loves you unconditionally, flaws and all.

(BTW, in honor of our anniversary,  my book Three For All is only $.99. Click the link on the sidebar if you’re interested.)

Celebrating My Prince Charming

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My happily ever after began 5 years ago, today…or that’s what a piece of paper says. In reality, it started when I was 19 years old and too full of myself to notice it.

That’s how old I was when I first met my husband. Back then I mostly dated pretty boy GQ types who rarely challenged me to be “more” on any level. My mom would tell you that’s probably why, in my youth, I changed boyfriends as quickly as some people changed bed sheets. She claimed that they weren’t “smart” enough to capture my interest, so she never worried. She knew I would get bored.

Still, when Mr. Kitt came along, he wasn’t what my friends considered my type. They cautioned him not to get his hopes up. He’d just grin. He knew exactly what he wanted and wouldn’t be deterred. He became my best friend, instead.

Most guys would hate being “friend zoned,” but not him. He noticed my friends lasted longer. He got to know me. My hopes, my dreams, my loyalty, my fears. And I got to know him. His sneaky brilliance, his ability to see through the facade to the true face of people, his irrepressible humor and ability to talk meaningfully about anything.

He waited a year before he made his first move. I never encouraged him, thinking we didn’t really have any sexual chemistry. Boy, was I surprised when he proved how thoroughly wrong I was!

That was 21 years ago. Our friendship? 22 years.

Wedding Day

He’s taken the heat for years because the world assumed he was the reason it took us so long to get married. It wasn’t. He always knew what he wanted. Me? Let’s just say I had some scars. He knew it and he waited patiently for me to face them. He stood beside me all the while. He never let me get away with things. He was honest, even when it hurt. He challenged me. Made me think. And he expected the same from me.

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So today, I’d like to say Happy Anniversary to the patient, loving man who knows me inside & out and loves me anyway. You truly are my best friend and partner, and the person I want to share happily ever after with because I know with you it will never be boring. Thanks for all the adventures so far, can’t wait to see what’s next.

Love Celebration

One of our Bahamas trips

One of our Bahamas trips

 

Today’s our 4th anniversary…technically speaking. We’ve actually been together for 20 years. Half my life. Wow! I always thought that sounded like a long time, but really…there’s no one else I’d rather spend my time with! I’m lucky to be with my best friend in the whole world. On Facebook I shared a poem I wrote for him in my status called Haven.

But today, here, I’m going to get sappy and share some of my favorite songs that I believe encompass aspects of our relationship…

It’s so important to reconnect and rejuvenate your spirits together. Forget the outside world for a while and remember why you love each other.

Look past Lorrie Morgan’s big hair and hear her message. To connect in that way, to share your thoughts and your spirit with someone who will cherish them…Huge gift.

Life can get really tedious if you’re always looking for the big gestures. Sometimes it’s those little everyday things that really tell you just how much you’re loved. I love that Bryan White got that…

There’s something very reassuring about knowing there is always someone you can count on!

This one kind of reminds me of the “Footprints In The Sand” poem…. It talks about the give and take in a relationship. Not everyone is strong all the time.

Hope you guys enjoyed some of my song selections. I’d love to hear from you guys, though…what songs make you think of love? Any sharing will be considered an generous anniversary gift to us!

The Top

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She said, “It may not look like much to you
This lace and bead and string.
To me, it is a treasure
Worth more than anything.

This little decoration
I guard and rarely show
Sat atop my wedding cake
‘Bout sixty years ago.

Your grandpa looked so handsome
In the uniform he wore
Ready to join his life to mine
Before he headed off to war.

I cherished that little trinket,
Kept it close to me
While I said goodbye
And grandpa went to sea.

Don’t put your faith in money, dear,
Or superficial things.
Remember that what mattered most
Was when we exchanged our rings.”

The above is the original topper from my grandparents’ wedding cake.

My Grandpa served in WW2. On my Grandparents’ 60th anniversary several years back, my Grandma told me the story of that cake topper. You see, they got married during war time, so cake toppers had become scarce. In fact there were maybe 5 toppers left on the shelf, and the rest were paper. My Grams managed to snag this one. Once my grandpa went off to war, she protected that topper, unsure if it would be the only tangible thing she’d have of theirs for a while. Fortunately he came home safely.

She cherished that topper above all else. It was more important than her diamonds or any other expensive material thing that came along. In her eyes, that little, inexpensive bit of tulle and bead and string was priceless. She cherished it the way she cherished my Grandpa. She passed away a couple months after we celebrated their anniversary. Grandpa followed her a couple years later.

I will always miss them, but more importantly, I’ll always remember the lesson she taught me. Remember what’s important. Cherish the people you love. Don’t take them for granted. Love with your whole heart. Anything less than that is not worth it.

Here’s one of the last pictures I took of them together….on their 60th anniversary. I’ve got a feeling they’re reunited once again.

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3 Years, Leather and 50 Shades

My husband and I have a quirky sense of fun. From prior blogs you know that on our second anniversary (cotton) he bought me a “gag” gift of cotton balls. By the way, I kept those cotton balls. They’re useful. So this year it was my turn to get quirky. How appropriately funny that as I’m delving back into writing (and I have romantic and erotic tendencies in my writing) our 3rd anniversary lands on leather.

First thought that came to my mind? Buy him a leather cock ring. Adjustable, of course. Great gag gift…and who knows…could even be fun! Hey, we’re married and can play that way. Now most of the time if I were looking to buy a toy I may go online or host a pleasure party. Less awkwardness and embarrassment for women this way. But this was a last minute, spur of the moment “gag” gift idea.

So here’s the thing about Florida…and those of you who live here can attest. I have never seen so many strip clubs, adult book stores (aka porn shops) or bail bonds places as I did when I moved here. In Chicago there was a Starbucks on practically every corner. Around here, it’s these kinds of places. In fact, once I moved here I was helping a friend search for a job. It was in Florida that I saw “dead beats need not apply” for the first time in a want ad. (I know, I know. And I’m still here, right?)

Being female, I’ve found it’s less awkward if you bring a male friend with you to an adult book store, so I called up a buddy and he came with me.

The guy working the desk was the typical perv you’d expect to see at one of these establishments. He was large, with a rotund belly, stained shirt, balding and with one of those big hooking piercings through the center portion of his nose. Not exactly someone I’d be asking for sex toy advice from unless I wanted to take 10 showers after. Then again, he fit his environment. The place was dark and seedy looking. Nothing about the place said classy or inviting.

When we walked in he ignored us, allowing us to shop. Their selection in leather products was extremely limited. They did, however, seem to have a large quantity of blow up dolls or body parts that claimed to be replicas of porn stars. No big deal. I was kind of relieved. He didn’t even check for ID.

Not thrilled with my search, I was about to head out when I saw two women walk in. They were giggling together and talking. He stopped to say hello to them. He asked what they were looking for. I was surprised! This was the first sign from him that he knew what customer service was! I almost felt sorry for the women. The one lady admitted that she was buying her friend a toy as a gift for her birthday. He asked if she’d read 50 Shades Of Grey. He then proceeded to tell them that they had a special promo where if you bought all 3 books from the series you got 50% off a paddle.

When they mentioned that it wasn’t what they were looking for and that they’d already read the book he proceeded to get inappropriate. “Come on,” he cajoled, “You know you want to get spanked. It’s every woman’s fantasy! I’ll even help you pick it out.”

Ok, he’d just stepped past the creepy line to obnoxious. That poor young woman was disgusted and embarassed. It was written all over her face. She would never be stopping there again. Fortunately, her friend was much older and put the guy in his place. Irritated, I took this as my cue to leave…before I said something equally offensive to this guy.

As my friend and I started to walk for the door, he finally spoke to us. “Not buying anything today?”

My mouth tightened over what I wanted to say. I opted for a very safe, “Nope.” and continued to head for the door.

“What were you looking for?” he asked, suddenly persistent.

I rolled my eyes at my friend as I pushed the door open, “Nothing you have here.”

It finally occurred to me. He hadn’t spoken to me or anyone else in there initially because we’d come in with guys. The two women came in sans men…that was why he’d harrassed them. Well, on to the next adult shop we went.

This one had a woman working the desk. She greeted us the moment we walked through the door despite the fact that she was on the phone. The place was brighter and less seedy looking. In fact, despite the fact that the windows were blocked out to protect the privacy of the shoppers, it was decorated like a nice little boutique.

Immediately I noticed they had a better leather selection. They several different leather floggers, different crops, leather collars along with the cock rings. One of the little paddles even had naughty carved into it. 😉 This place seemed more fun!

The lady on the phone got off her call as quickly as possible and stepped around the counter. “What can I help you find today?” she asked in a friendly voice.

I explained that it was our leather anniversary and I was trying to find a fun gag gift. She immediately got into the spirit of the search. She thought it was great that we played these games. When I commented about how she had a lot of leather, she said she was actually running low. In fact, she said that due to 50 Shades Of Grey the floggers and paddles were selling like hotcakes. We laughed.

I mentioned that the guy at the store down the street had been trying to peddle the stuff to his last customers and that he’d mentioned some sort of bundle promo.

“Well,” she said, “he probably overbought on the books after he heard about how popular they were and now he can’t get them sold.”

I nodded.

Cocking her head to the side she asked me, “Did you read the books?”

I shrugged. “Nope. By choice. Especially after several of my friends told me about it.”

She raised an eyebrow, curious. “Why not?”

“I have issues with the message the book sends,” I answered. “Don’t get me wrong, I have no issue with BDSM. I love authors like Cherise Sinclair and Joey W Hill. They are very good about getting the Safe, Sane and Consentual vibe across while maintaining a strong story with Alpha males and strong, vibrant females.”

She nodded. “Yeah. When all the hoopla started about 50 Shades I was curious and decided to check them out. I bought 2 copies of each book. One was supposed to be for me. The second was for sale. I took it on vacation with me and read it on my flight. I didn’t like the message either.”

I laughed. “You mean the one where the guy loses control, spanks his girl and …voila! Kink?”

Nodding, she said, “Exactly. And that girl was a wuss! A pushover. They don’t have any concept of what true BDSM is about. And with all these people out there suddenly exploring this stuff I should be happy. Instead I’m concerned. They don’t know what they’re doing. They don’t understand that this could get dangerous. Worse, they don’t know about safe words. It was never mentioned in the book.”

I shuddered. “I knew about the whole girl had only been kissed twice till her experience with Grey. And that she had 5 orgasms during her first time.” You could hear the scoffing disdain in my voice loud and clear. “And that he managed to give her those orgasms with no oral sex.” Yeah…we both snickered at that one. “But I hadn’t realized that safe words were never even discussed. I did know about the losing control bit. I wasn’t ok with that, either. A Dom MUST be in control. How else can he take care of you?”

She nodded. “Exactly. I own 3 adult shops. I’ve participated in some of the BDSM shows and events up in Tampa. Believe me. It’s not a game. It’s hot as hell…the real deal, but done incorrectly it can be downright scary. I keep encouraging these 50 Shades experimenters to try their hand at light bondage and blindfolding first before they go for the paddles and whips. Especially since they usually get the cheap stuff. It’s safer. And this way they can figure out what they like with minimal danger.”

The funny thing was, she’d already grabbed the adjustable cock ring I’d been looking at and walked me to the counter while we had this discussion. She was a fantastic sales person. I really liked her. She wasn’t in it strictly for the bottom line. She cared about her customers and her safety. I knew I’d be recommending friends to visit her store….especially my female ones.

And then, as only an aspiring writer can, I networked…LOL! I explained to her that I was working on writing, and someday down the line I may need her expertise. I asked if she’d mind if I stopped in and picked her brain sometime. She laughed and welcomed me with open arms. She’s usually in that particular store on Fridays, Saturdays and Sundays. So now, if I have questions on sex toys, BDSM or other areas, I have a fun source of info!

Oh, the things I do to hone my knowledge of this craft… Such a hardship! LOL!

What A Man!

So I’m back from my self imposed day long exile from blogging.  As those of you who regularly read my blog know, yesterday was my anniversary.  What many of you may not know is that I am always plugged in.  Connected.  Charged.  Online.  Rarely am I found without my smartphone or iPad.  It’s become a bit of a joke with my family and friends.

So anyway, yesterday I made a decision to leave my online time to a minimum.  While he was at work I continued to touch up the novella I’m working on.  I spent time with the dogs.  I did the laundry.  I prepared for our evening together.  It was important to me to focus on us time because he left early this morning to go visit his family.  As I’d posted earlier, his uncle isn’t doing well.  Damned Cancer!  Seriously…we think of fuck as a dirty word, but Cancer isn’t?  But I digress….

Last night, while we were out to dinner, I picked up my phone to respond to one of my close friends about taking care of their 3 dogs while they went out of town for two days, then put my phone aside.  Honey, so used to me checking my Facebook and Twitter, started catching up on his Twitter account.  So I teased him about the fact that he’d been on his phone more than me.  This spawned a little bet.  (Me and my big mouth)  The bet was that with the exception of calling his parents to thank them for the flowers they sent, we would see who could go longer without picking up our phones or tablets.  He said that the only exception on my tablet was if I got inspired to write.  (Yeah, he understands my need to create like that…)  He didn’t think I could make it through dinner, much less the entire evening.

I’m proud to announce, we had to call it a draw!

By the way…his leather gift for me was amazingly thoughtful.  Nothing playful about it…just pure, unadulterated, amazing love.  He bought me a brand new reddish colored Italian leather bound custom made journal book.  Inscribed across the front was “Happy Third Anniversary Kitt” in gold lettering.  Along the bottom it said “With all of my love” and had his name signed.  I almost cried.  It was his way of giving me a 100% green light to pursue my dreams of writing.

He truly is a man who knows and understands my heart.

My Anniversary

“This sacred vow I make to you

Does not contain an ‘if’

Though I’m aware that trials lie ahead.

I will love you and pray with you

And through it all, I will stay with you

Our home will be a refuge of

Unconditional love.”

verse of Cherish The Treasure

Sung by:  Steve Green

This song was sung by my sister and a friend at my wedding three years ago tomorrow.  On that day I vowed to love, honor and cherish my best friend.  This man is the most loving and patient man I know.  Personal fears and family scars from my parents had me afraid to take the leap for so long.  But, like I said, he’s my best friend and he’s patient.  He was willing to spend 16 years reassuring me that he wasn’t going anywhere.  He knew what he wanted the moment he saw me and he brought me around to his way of thinking.  For that, I’ll always feel blessed and grateful.

I still remember the first time I heard this song.  I was sixteen years old.  I had been asked to sing at a family friend’s wedding along with another guy from our church.  I remember hearing the words and thinking that they would make pretty awesome wedding vows.  Back then I had a romantic streak a mile wide (some would say it’s still there, just below the surface) and I hoped that the man I fell in love with would be vocally gifted.  Why?  Because I thought it would be so romantic and cool if we sang our vows to each other.  That didn’t happy, but I got the best guy in the world instead.  I think it’s a fair trade.

Practically every little girl I ever knew planned what their wedding day would be like.  When you thought of your wedding day, what did you see?  Did music play a part?  If you’re married now, was reality anything like the dream?

Now, as for anniversaries…there are themes to these things.  Did you know that?  The first anniversary gift is supposed to be paper.  Which was fine with us!  We were still recovering from paying for our wedding, so we decided cards was it.

Second anniversary is cotton.  Waiting for me before we headed out to dinner with my sister and brother in law that night was a beautiful gift bag with streamers and colored tissue and balloons.  And inside?  A bag of cotton balls!  LOL!  Yes, my husband is that awesome!  I cracked up.  When we got back from our dinner, my real gift was waiting for me.  Vera Bradley purse, lunch bag and all sorts of little knick knacks.  What did I get for him?  Well, he’s a big Ed Hardy fan…so I got him a couple of Ed Hardy boxers.  😉

Tomorrow is our third anniversary.  Well, that means it’s our leather anniversary.  Fun, right?  A little on the kinky side?  If you were me, what would YOU get him?  I’ve already got his gifts…(and yes, one is kinky…care to guess?)

Anyway, that also means tomorrow night I won’t be posting a new blog.  I’ll be spending my time with my honey.  I’ll still be getting your comments during the day and on my smart phone, but…  Tomorrow is for my man and me, so my responses probably won’t come till Friday, either.

Enjoy your night…  I know I will!