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One woman. Two bandmates. Will Kalina come between them, or is between them where she’s meant to be? If love is a song, what happens when the tune of your heart sounds more like a trio? Will outside forces generate discord and sharp notes, or can three unique souls blend to create the perfect harmony? You won’t want to miss a beat of this love ballad.

Praise from Author S. H. Timmins, “Kitt Crescendo has outdone herself with this witty, heartfelt, and smoldering story of three people who find love in the most unexpected way.”

Praise from Author Natasha Blackthorne: “A sizzling hot, fun, contemporary erotic romance that is filled with wit, banter, country music, poetry and love scenes that are emotionally and psychologically satisfying.”

Feminism and Submission: Kinky Coexistence #BOAW2018

In the last couple of years there has been a huge resurgence of attention and activism placed on feminism and women’s rights. We’ve had coordinated women’s rights marches, much more discussion around equality in pay, education, and career opportunities.

Yes, as a group we’ve become loud and proud, creating campaigns like #metoo and “Fight Like a Girl” designed to encourage our fellow woman to speak out and share in solidarity to the female sisterhood.

Even in movies we’ve been a force to be reckoned with….bringing out badasses and heroes like Arya, Khaleesi, Rey and Wonder Woman… and other movies like Black Panther and Hidden Figures where the women were strong, smart, and powerful. And this is all amazing. Really!

But I wonder sometimes if, in our battle for equality and power, we’ve lost some sensitivity and somehow managed to push others in our sisterhood into a deeper closet…made them doubt themselves and their acceptance in our new, fierce world.

Submission in a time where we’re calling on the badass women must be so difficult. I mean, living in the often highly misunderstood BDSM world is already tough. They already get the whole…blah, blah, blah…”abuse”,….blah, blah, blah…”Stockholm syndrome” crap from people with no understanding of the “Safe, Sane, and Consensual” lifestyle.

But now, when we’re talking about powerful women, I’m sure that there are many women fighting against their nature because somehow submission in this new world (not that it wasn’t already there a little bit) might make them seem weak or the ‘unfeminist.’ Or maybe their sisters will think maybe they’re not living up to their gender/power roles and are somehow encouraging female oppression, either silently make them feel like an insult or embarrassment to the cause, or outright say it…because they don’t understand.

And they’d be WRONG!

“A submissive is free to do whatever they desire, whenever they desire. Yet even with all their freedom, they choose to kneel. That is why submission is so beautiful.” ~ Unknown

My first contribution to Beauty of a Woman GirlBoner edition was Sacred Sexuality. At that time, I discussed my thoughts about being both a Christian and kinky. Why do I bring it up? Because I believe there’s something pretty sacred about the power exchange, too. Heck, people like to throw around the “wives submit unto your husbands” verses as a reason NOT to embrace Christianity, but I believe they don’t fully understand (or choose not to) the difference between submission and subjugation. Plus, the scriptures also say submit to each other, so it also doesn’t limit itself as a one way path down a gender specific street. Pronouns CAN be exchanged, in my opinion.

“The idea of submission is never meant to allow someone to overstep another’s boundaries. Submission only has meaning in the context of boundaries, for boundaries promote self-control and freedom. If a woman is not free and in control of herself, she is not submitting anyway. She is a slave subject to a slave driver, and she is out of the will of God.” ~ Henry Cloud

Submission is a physical, emotional, and mental act of consciously and deliberately giving oneself over into the loving care of another. Far from weak, it’s one of the hardest things to do, and only the strongest of soul and purpose is capable of giving up so much trust and placing it into a worthy Dominant’s hands.

“Fight for freedom when someone suppresses you.. Be submissive when someone gives freedom for you.” Shivaranjani Murugesan

I think that probably speaks to the strength, beauty , and power of submission pretty well. It takes a strong, self aware woman to willingly and knowingly walk this path. Isn’t that also what being a feminist is about? Knowing and understanding your needs and fearlessly reaching out and grabbing it? Being a trailblazer on a road less travelled? Knowing your true self and knowing what it takes to make yourself happy, then fearlessly reaching out for it, screw the voice of public opinion?

I mean, there’s something exquisitely beautiful about BDSM… It works because there’s an honesty to the relationship that you won’t find in many places. They realize that no one gets through life without a few wounds and scars, fears and insecurity. And it’s about building such a strong foundation in honesty and communication that you don’t hide the realest, ugliest parts of you. Because somehow, in the give and take that happens in such a surrender, they want those parts of you, too…and help you learn to accept and love even those darker parts of your soul that make you uniquely you. And it’s true on both sides of the relationship.

“I want the parts you’ve tried to throw away. The parts you were convinced no one could love.” ~ unknown

To me, the fearless strength a submissive has…to take their power and willingly, knowingly hand it over to someone worthy…well, if that’s not both powerful woman and feminist, I don’t know what is. It’s scary, sure. Misunderstood by many, absolutely. But true to your inner self? A beacon of strength that leaves many a Dominant in awe and grateful for the amazing gift? How could they not be?

Submissive, please don’t let yourself be stifled, squashed, or afraid because of the feminist message. YOU are the embodiment of EVERYTHING that makes a woman both powerful and a survivor.

Be fearlessly you!

This post is part of The Beauty of a Woman BlogFest VII! To read more entries, and potentially win a fun prize, click HERE. on August’s McLaughlin’s site between today and 11pm PST March 9th.

Sending you all Love and Empowerment!

Love Has Many Faces

Love isn’t limited to lovers. Lovers aren’t always in love. But everyone deserves to know someone loves them. Everyone deserves to be passionately desired at least once. And everyone deserves love bonded in friendship always.

For me, music is my favorite way to express love and/or passion.

Deana Carter does a great job of describing the unselfish love necessary to a lasting long termed relationship. The BDSM photo montage to depict it in this video? Sooo apropos.

And then there’s this one. Don’t mock; yes, it’s from Glee, but it’s an awesome sone of love, friendship, acceptance, and inclusion. And really, couldn’t we all use some of that these days?

And then there’s just that body and soul love and acceptance. John Legend sings it well here.

And Thomas Rhett, of course, does a pretty great job of showcasing what happy endings could look like.

What songs speak your love language & why?

Y is to Yield or Submit

Why is submission often seen as a trait of the weak?

How hard is it really to act tough; to take what you want or hide how you really feel behind the veneer of civilization and expectation? It’s not really that hard to play the part when a role has been written with you in mind, practically since conception. Telling you how you should feel, think, or act.

Yielding your will to someone else is often counter to everything you’re told you should want or need. Voluntarily giving up your power and bending to the desires of your partner for shared satisfaction and trusting that your lover will not only take care of you, but push your boundaries to bring you incredible pleasure.

To be willing to yield, you must be able to trust. Your partner. Your instincts. Your judgment. And your ability to recognize when to say no…or, in the world of Dominance and submission, to safeword.

You have to believe that your safeword will not only be acknowledged, but respected. That your partner has your best interests in mind. That they are watching you closely enough to pick up on your unspoken (and sometimes unrealized) triggers and kinks….and to know when to push or draw back.

To submit takes an incredibly strong person, comfortable in their knowledge of who and what he/she is. Letting down your walls and opening yourself up to all the possibilities and trusting your partner to be your strength and guide your journey…. Yeah, nothing at all weak in that.

That’s completely different than being a wimp or pushover. Because wimps don’t have the physical or emotional strength to stand on their own. They usually let others lead so that they can make excuses or blame others when things don’t go the way they wanted.

There is no greater gift a submissive could give a deserving Dominant than their willingness to cede their own power to their firm, controlling hand. No Dominant worth his/her salt would ever deliberately take that for granted, take advantage, or abuse that trust.

B is for Booktastic Brilliance

A while back I wrote a post sharing the books that influenced my youth…

Now I’d like to honor some of my favorite MUST READ authors and why I absolutely adore them. To be fair, I won’t spend a ton of time talking about J.K. Rowling (mostly because everyone already knows her and gets her appeal). The ones I’d like to honor are the ones who haven’t yet had their books turned into movies. 😉

First, I’d like to recognize Lexi Blake/Sophie Oak.

Her Lexi Blake persona writes fabulously exciting spy BDSM romances and caused me to fall madly in love with one of my all time favorite book boyfriends, Ian “Big Tag” Taggart. Her heroines are feisty and smart. The heroes are snarky, sarcastic in the best possible way, and loyal to a fault.

Then there’s her Sophie Oak side. Ooh-la-la! In this universe, being quirky and different is embraced. Ménages of two guys and a girl (one series is bisexual males and their woman, the other is more best friends/brothers and their lady love) are considered normal and traditional, as is the D/s lifestyle. In the Bliss series, the womenfolk get to join the “I Killed A Son of a Bitch” club (the SOB’s are bad guys). Yeah. I want one of those t-shirts.

The one common thread she has through all of her books is the humor, sarcasm, and pure unabashed sense of fun! The dialogue will get you laughing out loud. And the heat level is scorch-your-undies HOT!

Next is Terry Goodkind. I fell in love with his books and characters when I discovered The Sword of Truth series. His wizards are so far removed from Harry, Ron, and Hermione that it would be impossible to compare them. They’re badass, fight with swords, and the women? Take your pick of powerhouses who can fight, steal your magic, take control of your mind, body, and soul, work their own magic, or see your future. Sorceresses, Mord Sith, Confessors….

His message through the whole series? There’s definitely good and evil in the world, but evil acts don’t always make evil people. Kindness and compassion can go a long way to changing a person’s heart and soul if they’re open and willing to make a change. And finally, don’t let the bad things that happen in your life change who you are at the core. It’s truly the only way evil can gain a foothold and win. I actually believe that to be true about everyday life, as well.

Have you ever heard of Cherise Sinclair? She writes about the most amazing BDSM clubs. The Shadowlands (owned by Master Z, and based in Tampa) and Dark Haven (owned and run in San Francisco by My Liege aka Xavier Leduc). To be clear, those places are fantasy, not real world…but she sure does a great job making you wish they existed. She also writes some awesome shifter erotic romances.

What I love about her writing is the conscious effort she makes to educate about the many different aspects of the BDSM lifestyle, both safe and unsafe. The importance of education, safe words, trust….all without being preachy. And you can sense in the way that she writes, the immense respect she has for the honesty, vulnerability, and strength it takes to be a submissive. Her Doms don’t like wimps. They prefer real individuals of character who are willing to give up the reins to Alphas like them who cherish their gift, admire their strength, and seek to build them up and empower them. And hey, the fact that the subs have a smart, bratty streak every now and again is just icing on the cake!

These are all terrific authors with fabulous books to share…. But as I got to thinking, the book that’s impacted my adult life most (besides The Bible, of course) is a book by Brian Tracy called Eat That Frog. This book has given me a ton of tips that I use daily to maximize my productivity, to manage my time, and ways to help other people around me become more efficient as well!

So what about you? Who are your must buy authors of your adulthood? Why do they appeal to you? What book has most impacted your adult life (either personally or professionally)? I’d love to hear what revs your engine!

Stepping In The Blind with @SJMaylee

Ya’ll already know that I love when my author friends come to hang out. I feel as though my pal S.J. Maylee and I have a pretty close bond since we were working on our first books at the same time. She’s sweet, kind, and working her craft hard. I’m so very proud of her!

So, to talk about how she came to write the sexy, sassy stuff she does, without further ado….. My pal, S.J. Maylee! (Did I mention she’s also generously giving stuff away? Read on to find out how to WIN!)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I am so happy to be back here with Kitt. She always makes me feel comfortable to be myself. Thank you, Kitt. (((hugs)))

Awww! Thanks my friend. *hugs back* You know you’re always welcome here. Can’t wait to hear your story!

The other day I was talking with my husband’s drum student. She was telling me about her new band and how much fun she’s been having making music with them, a change from her last band. Lyrics and melody are now freely flowing for her. I could hear her love of music in her voice, in her conviction.

I’m quite familiar with this type of change. There was a time in my life when I struggled to find books I enjoyed reading. I knew it shouldn’t be that easy to put a book down. Then I found SEP, Nora and I become ravenous for reading. I couldn’t read enough. The day I found Cherise Sinclair was like a homecoming. She changed everything for me. Her books had all the romance I’d come to love so deeply, but there was also this edge, this level of risk and trust, that pushed the passion to a whole new level.

I can see now how that search for the right book sent me hurdling down a path that would lead me to my personal destiny. It’s the place where everything clicks. I’m in love with love and I don’t hide from that truth. I can’t and I don’t want to.

Almost two years ago, I started on a mission to find out something new about love and the passion we’re capable of setting free. My muse told me that love at first touch existed. The words started to flow freely. My new series, Club Blind, is about finding out what the heart can see when the eyes are blind. I write what I want to read. I love it and there’s no place I’d rather be.

Girl! I definitely feel ya. Cherise is a big reason I fell in love with the BDSM subgenre, too. Go figure we enjoy the same fabulous artists. 😉 Guess it’s time to share the new book, eh? 

In the Blind by S.J. Maylee (Club Blind #1)

Genre: Erotic Romance with D/s

Length: Novella

Published: October 15, 2014

Publisher: Evernight Publishing

ISBN: 978-1-77233-066-3

Goodreads

 

Blurb:

Jane thinks she’s ready to take the risks her business and love life desperately need. Rob’s still punishing himself for a broken relationship that wasn’t meant to last. When the pair let an opportunity pass them by, fate steps in and throws them back together.

An evening of pitch black unrestrained passion at Club Blind opens her eyes to life’s possibilities. Now, if they don’t fight past their personal demons, they might never truly discover what they need most. If they can open their hearts, it might lead them directly to each other where they can discover their truth. If not, they may forever stay in the blind.

 

Where you can find IN THE BLIND:

Evernight Publishing | Amazon | Barnes & Noble

All Romance eBooks | BookStrand | Smashwords | iTunes

 

S.J. MAYLEE Bio:

S.J. Maylee fell in love with storytelling at a young age and with it came a deep-seated desire for everyone to find their happily ever after. She’s finding the happy endings for her characters one steamy story at a time.

When she’s not reading or writing, you can find her caring for her garden, laughing with her two young sons, or dancing to her husband’s music. She’s a PMP (Project Management Professional), Nia instructor, and coffee addict.

As a writer she has a tendency to break hearts, but she always glues them back together.

Blog | Twitter | Facebook Page | Google+ | Goodreads | Pinterest | Amazon Author Page

GIVEAWAY:

SJ’s giving away one $20 Amazon gift card and two swag packs (book covers, bookmark, pen, zipper pull, and handmade beaded keychain or purse charm with book cover charm). TO ENTER: answer the question on this blog post and then click on the rafflecopter. QUESTION: Many believe blindness can increase your other senses. What do you think it would be like to be in a pitch black club like Club Blind?

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Nothing Limiting About Setting Limits

Ever feel like the blog gods are trying to tell you something? The last couple of days have felt that way to me. It started innocuously enough… With a pic from a dirty minded friend to my FB page. The pic?

I admit it. I laughed! A lot!

I know, you’re now wondering exactly what message the blog gods were sending, aren’t you? No, this isn’t a lesson on anal admiration, though I’d be happy to write one if ya’ll have a real interest in it…or if that bee flies into my bonnet one random day. If you’re wondering what the heck a rim job is, email me privately or message me on FB or Twitter. We’ll take that one offline, but I’m happy to explain. I hate leaving someone with more questions than answers. It’s practically my civic duty to educate and enlighten my blog buddies on sex manners, dontcha know… 😉

My next sign happened in my gal pal, Sandra Bunino’s FB book group. The initial question was simple… “Genre-wise, what’s your go to?” My answer wasn’t shocking to anyone who has read my book or hung out on this blog. I said that I liked erotic romances, and lately my preferences have been toward the ménage and elements of BDSM. But, as it tends to happen when I’m involved, it didn’t stop there. There was a follow up question.

“How hardcore do you like your BDSM (to read)?”

The question was then qualified further by asking if my leanings were toward D/s stories (Dominant/submissive for those of you who don’t know the jargon) or the S & M side (Sadism & Masochism). Somehow, in my mind, this translated to limits. Yes, I’ve done a post discussing different kinks and that they’re different from one person to the next. Limits are different.

So, we’re back to the above picture… I have a close friend who read my manuscript for my second book when it was in it’s rougher stages. There was an anal scene in which part of the preparation for one of the characters included a rim job (Okay, so maybe if you didn’t know what it meant before, you may be starting to get the picture and won’t need to contact me…hehe!). This particular friend was a bit squicked out. It wasn’t her cup ‘o’ tea. It was not sexy in her mind. In fact, she found it pretty gross and unsanitary (although I’d argue that nothing about sex is sanitary). I can also say with a fair amount of certainty that she’s also never experienced it. For HER, that’s a limit.

That’s not a limit at all for me, but I respect it. I also understood pretty quickly that she’s more mainstream when it comes to what she enjoys reading. It made me realize from a writing perspective that I had to consider that a scene like that may alienate a certain type of reader and I’d have to be okay with that. It also reminded me from a personal/sexual perspective, everyone has limits. They deserve to be respected.

On to the discussion in the book group… My limits come from my background in the medically related field. I’m not into any sort of fluid play. No golden showers. No scat. No blood play. To me, those are too dangerous. Due to some personal histories, I’m also aware that breath play and capture/rape scenarios are more than likely going to be triggers for me. By trigger I mean I can’t be a part of this sort of scene. Not as the perpetrator. Certainly not as a recipient. In fact, it’s probably safe for all involved if I step away from even viewing these scenes. Although these are all hard limits for me, they are hard limits for different reasons.

Why am I telling you guys this? Because it’s important to understand that when you choose to explore the various pleasures the world has to offer with your partner, there need to be safety precautions or boundaries, if you will. The most important thing, no matter what aspect of the spectrum you decide to explore, is that you and your partner need to communicate openly and honestly. You need to know and respect each other’s boundaries. This is often considered “negotiating a scene.”

There are some things you’re going to know immediately that you never want to try. For some people that can be anything that involves pain. Some people translate pain differently and may need the pain to enhance their pleasure. If it’s pretty strong on the pain threshold, they’re more than likely masochists. One who gains sexual enjoyment from supplying that need to them? They’re sadists. Keep in mind, most sadists and masochists are not the “sick puppies” portrayed in crime drama tv.

Also, just because someone likes erotic spanking or exploring with impact toys like floggers, whips, paddles, etc. doesn’t mean they fall into the S & M side of BDSM. There are always levels. Again, communication becomes key. Why? Because maybe you’ve shown that you enjoy spanking, but are iffy about impact instruments…those might find yourself in the maybe list (aka. I’ll try it once, twice if I like it).

Other people are completely turned off by any kind of physical pain, but prefer to simply hand over their power to their partner (aka power exchange) or maybe bondage is the turn on, or sensory deprivation, or multiple partners, or exhibitionism, or voyeurism…. See what I’m getting at? The options for exploration and discovery are endless….as long as open and honest communication is happening.

The other HUGELY IMPORTANT factor? Before you go exploring, you NEED a safe word. I can’t stress this enough. Why? Because even if you trust each other implicitly, things can go wrong. Like what? Well, say there’s a repressed memory of some sort…some of these kinds of play may trigger that memory and cause a fight or flight response or worse, a panic attack. Your partner might be completely unaware you’re having this reaction, but you can stop the whole thing with one word. Or if you’re both new to play, your partner may not realize you’re hurt (and not in a pleasurable way). You say the word, they know to stop. It’s a safety precaution.

Some of the important things to communicate to your partner before you play in this manner? Any physical injuries that could be a problem, any traumatic childhood events, if you suffer from things like panic attacks or PTSD (and, if you know them, what triggers it), anything that causes a negative visceral reaction. This gives your partner a good idea of what NOT to do to ruin your playful bedroom (well, not literally…it can happen anywhere) experiments. Maybe you need help figuring out what you may find acceptable or not… There are lists that can help open those communication lines (not to mention give you an idea of all the MANY areas open for exploration).

The whole purpose of the exploration is to have fun with your partner while building intimacy. This also means that it’s just as important to communicate the positive experiences before, during, or after play with your partner so that you guys know what’s working and which rabbit hole to dive into further.

So, now it’s question time… Have there been areas you’ve heard/read about that you’ve been dying to try but a bit nervous to tell your partner? Are there terms I used that had you scratching your head and wondering what I’m talking about? Are there scenes you’ve read in a book and had no idea what it meant but were too embarrassed to ask? Anything you’ve read that you’ve found out of bounds? Ya’ll know me. I’m an open book and willing to talk about anything… (Plus, the writer in me is always dying of curiosity.) Spill it!

FYI– anyone who is truly into most alternative lifestyles including BDSM believe in the importance of “Safe, Sane & Consensual”… it’s one of the reasons it’s important to set a safe word and communicate.

That’s Not My Kink

We’ve all heard the saying “different strokes for different folks.” All a person has to do is look around to see the factual reality of that saying. So why does it seem like such a difficult thing to accept and acknowledge when referencing sex? Some of you may be ready to reject the notion out of hand, but hold on for a second while I state my case.

Over the years I’ve come across some pretty interesting sexual kinks/preferences. Many of them are fairly common. Some like to get their hair pulled or their bottoms spanked or both. Some like to be the spanker/hair puller. Some of us have exhibitionist streaks. As the girl who confessed to road head and more, obviously I fall into this category, though there are those who prefer the tamer “accidental” peep shows. Our counterparts are the people who get intensely excited by watching…or voyeurs. Of course there’s also bondage (those who like to tie up, and who like being tied up). I was 18 the first time I restrained someone in a sexual way.

Yes, a lot of the above also incorporates the power exchange that happens when the person’s desire it to yield submission to another person who is into taking control. Sometimes standing alone (no power exchange) or also falling into this world (when power exchanges are incorporated) are the folks who enjoy more than one partner at the same time.

Also surprisingly popular are foot fetishes. For some that means admiring and worshipping pretty toes. For others, it goes deeper. Some love the earthy smells of sweaty feet. Others wish to give foot massages or bathe those dirty feet with their tongues. Others simply want to paint those toenails or have those dainty feet walk all over their bodies (sometimes in high heels).

Some people have more exotic tastes.

I remember talking to one young lady who was fixated on having sex in church sanctuary. Not gonna lie, I’ve done it in the parking lot, but I draw the line at actually entering a “house of God” for copulation purposes. Of course, it would stand to reason that my personal beliefs probably play a part in my discomfort. It may have worked for her, but it definitely wasn’t my cup of tea, but that was okay. That was her thing, not mine.

One woman, a female dominant, I’d become friendly with once shared with me how she had somehow become entranced checking posteriors; putting on surgical gloves and “cleaning them up.” Oddly enough, she was a nurse and thus qualified to go rooting around back there. I admit, the image wasn’t something I cared to keep in my mind. Again, like before, it wasn’t for me, but that was fine.

Many of us have heard of golden showers. Some have even assumed that this couldn’t possibly be a “real” thing. I mean, who would get into the various areas that this sort of play delves into? But it’s real. In fact, it’s as real as cross-dressing or people who enjoy wearing diapers and treated like babies. Heck, even CSI featured a fetish where everyone dressed up like a stuffed animal.

So if there are so many parts of sex that are less than vanilla, why is it that people seem to struggle with acceptance? Is it really so hard to simply say “It’s not my kink” and let it go? No judgment, no disdain. Just a simple acknowledgement that what works for one person may not work for the next and leave it at that.

For that matter, why do people struggle so hard to deny the things that excite them rather than acknowledge the truth and create a fulfilling sex lives for themselves in their relationships? Why do they hide their interests, deny what draws them and pretend it doesn’t exist? Why do their desires become a shameful secret rather than something they communicate with their partner(s)?

My dear friend, Professor Taboo, recently asked me in the comments portion of his Expectations post a question that I’ve been thinking a lot about. “Whether we get or not what we seek from others, is it reasonable to EXPECT the type of open, authentic, proactive communication…and as you pointed out, expecting that level communication whether there were sexual experiences or not? Is the real issue sexual experiences!?”

I thought it was a great question, and the only thing I could come up with for both the way we react to people whose desires deviate from ours as well as from the passions we refuse to acknowledge within ourselves is that we allow fear in.

When faced with others whose desires/kinks vary from our own, it’s easy to point a finger and criticize. “That’s disgusting” “That’s unnatural” or “That’s so wrong” are judgment phrases that often escape the lips of those who can’t or don’t share the same interests. Why? Unless it’s illegal or partners are unwilling, WHY should we care or judge? Why is simply acknowledging that it’s not your thing and moving on so difficult to do?

And if something does intrigue us? I suspect it’s fear that causes us to deny our true natures/desires. What if someone finds out? What if they judge me (often the way I’m judging everyone else)? What if I truly am weird or sick for wanting something besides missionary sex?

It occurred to me as I considered this issue… This is a lot like our tastes in partners. Everyone has different “types”. In fact, half-Asian me has never been attracted to Asian men…and am very picky when it comes to black men that I find sexy. Heck, I laugh all the time at how specific my parents’ types are. My mom likes her men blond with blue eyes. My dad? He likes them Filipina. How do I know that? Because those traits are traits that followed them both into their second marriages.

My mom would tell you that she always knew I’d marry a “latin based” type. Why? Because she said I’d always been attracted to Hispanics, Italians and Greeks; not that I didn’t date my fair share of WASPs, but the majority of the guys who caught my eye were either dark hair and eyes or dark hair and blue eyes. Heck, some would call the attraction to people in uniforms or dangerous jobs or with tattoos a type, too.

Variety is the spice of life. There are a ton of different flavors out there… in ice cream, drinks, cultures, appearances, sexual preferences. No one type is better than the other. There is no right or wrong (well, unless we’re talking illegal). There’s simply what works for you.

Am I making sense? Am I crazy? What’s the most unusual kink you’ve heard of or seen? Do you have a “type” of person you’re attracted to? I’d love to know what you’re thinking…

I’ll close this with a bit of humor….and share what happens when a fantasy goes a bit “off”.

That Awkward Moment When…

Come on, be honest…. We’ve all had one or two or zillions of those awkward moments. That’s kind of what makes them so funny…well, to the rest of the world, at least. For us, it may take a few days/weeks to recover (or sometimes never) before we find the humor in those awkward moments. So, you guessed it…I’m going to share a couple.

That Awkward Moment When…..

When you think you may have double booked your lunch date and you realize the person you’ve been talking to isn’t the same person you thought you’d be meeting. Okay, so maybe this moment was a little more awkward for my fantastic friend, Renee Schuls-Jacobson, but she’s got a way of spinning things like this into hilarity. Don’t believe me? Check out her So Wrong section of her blog. It’s dedicated to these kinds of moments!

The only time I’d ever been double booked had been by a cheating ex-boyfriend back in high school (he double booked me and 3 other girls for the same night). I broke up with him and it never happened again…until yesterday.

So here’s what happened. Renee and I had been chit chatting back and forth between our blogs, email, Twitter and Facebook. She’d recently bought a summer place down in my neck of the woods and we’d discussed meeting up. A couple of days ago we messaged each other about finally meeting face to face (Yup! You’ve got it. Up until yesterday we’d never actually met in person). Anyway, we talked on the phone and decided to meet at a restaurant in her part of town. Having arrived early, I texted her to let her know I was going to look around in the store next door. Heck, I’m a sucker for Kirkland’s and they had a big sale going on! She had arrived early, too. She sent me a message telling me she’d meet me in there, so I responded with the color of my shirt–just in case she didn’t recognize me from the few pictures I’ve put up online.

Renee walks in, gives me a warm hug and we do a little browsing, then head to the sporting goods store next door. Suddenly she stops dead in her tracks and shushes me.

“Hang on for a second while I figure this out,” she says, fiddling with her phone, flustered. Under her breath she keeps muttering something about “how did this happen?” and “crap!” and a similar things.

Concerned, I ask her what’s going on. She finally tells me she thinks she might have double booked me and a new neighbor friend she’d been talking to at the same time, but she wasn’t sure. The problem? She had talked to both me and this new neighbor friend of hers at around the same time…and didn’t save our names in her phone, so she had thought she was talking to the neighbor lady when she’d been talking to me. Icing on the cake, she thought she might have told one of us that she wasn’t going to be able to meet with one of us based on a prior engagement, but wasn’t sure who…or if she’d imagined that conversation. Even better, when she assigned my name to my number she inadvertently deleted this other woman’s number and how to contact her.

The whole thing was a hilarious cluster fuck. Was I offended? No. I was too busy laughing. She had vacation brain! Plus, once she realized that it was me she talked to both times, she started breathing again and we had a riot of a day. There are some people you meet for the first time and it’s a bit strained for a while…. This was NOT the case with us. Of course, we had the mother of all icebreakers with the little snafu beginning, but I think it would’ve been that way regardless. In fact, our introduction was as fun to me as my first meeting with my BFF, Amadiex. Her little brother was throwing rocks and sticks at me- I put him in a full Nelson to make him stop, and a lifetime friendship was born!

I’m sure, as this is only from what I know of this story, Renee probably has a slightly different view on what happened. But it’s not fair for her to be left out to dry alone, so here’s one about me….

That Awkward Moment When…

You find yourself on your knees in front of a Dom and his submissive…at work. You guys are well familiar with my playful streak. You may have even figured out that my tastes can be somewhat less than “vanilla”. As if that’s not enough, I’m a bit of a control freak…and I understand the connotations to kneeling for a Dom. To say I was a bit disconcerted is putting it mildly!

Imagine this scenario. There I am, a manager in retail, wearing a skirt and heels. I’m working a double and it’s nearing the end of the evening. My employees are all with customers when a guy walks in with his lady. They get checked in and sit down on a nearby bench sofa. Because there is a wait, I decide to walk over and try to triage this tech support related issue. The young lady is pretty soft spoken, so I lean down to hear what she’s trying to say. Because my feet are aching and I’m in a skirt, I decide to kneel in front of them. Afterall, I’m not trying to stick my butt out for the whole world to see and it gives me a chance to take some pressure off my abused feet.

I ask her for her phone, and as I hold out my hand I happen to look up. She is wearing a hemp necklace (something other folks may refer to as a “collar”). This particular necklace had a circular silver colored pendant woven in. The thing was engraved….”Property of…” I’m sure if the disc were flipped over, I would’ve found the gentleman’s name.

I won’t lie. My first reaction was to blink a couple of times before looking back up. Nope. It was not just my imagination. My second reaction? “Oh, HELL no!” Fortunately that one was only in my head. I took a deep, calming breath and let it out. I was working. As long as the guy didn’t try to approach me or make a comment assuming my kneeling meant more than it actually did, we’d be good. Honestly? I’m not sure at all how I would’ve responded if he’d misconstrued my kneeling as a sign of my submission to him.

Thankfully, that awkward was only in my mind…. Ah, how different situations can be read through the eyes of someone with a granule of knowledge. LOL!

C’mon. Admit it… One or both of these situations made you either laugh or shake your head. I’m pretty sure you have a few “Awkward Moments” of misunderstanding you could share with us…. In fact, I’d love for you guys to tell me some of yours so Renee and I won’t have to be embarrassed alone!

Guess it could’ve been worse…. At least an awkward moment like the one in this Alan Jackson video!

Spotlight on Malia Mallory & Her New Book #HerWishHisCommand

Hey everyone! Today I’ve invited the wonderful erotic romance author, Malia Mallory, to be my special guest as she tells you a bit about herself and her new book Her Wish, His Command. Sounds hot, right? Take it away, Malia!

Her Wish, His Command

Her Wish, His Command

 

Thank you so much for having me as a guest today!

Her Wish, His Command is the third book in the Dominating BDSM Billionaires Series. His Need, Her Desire (Book 1) is currently free at most online retailers. His Desire, Her Surrender (Book 2) hit bestseller lists in the United States, United Kingdom, Canada and Australia. Look for His Passion, Her Temptation (Book 4) in July 2013.

Her Wish, His Command Blurb

Doctor Anna Foster may just get what she wants: sexy fellow researcher Jonah Granger. She’s been in love with him for years, but Jonah has always been more interested in work at his family’s business, Granger Pharma, than romance. Now that they’ve admitted their attraction, Anna may even be able to tell him what she really wants: to submit to him.

But Granger Pharma faces a hostile takeover. Sensitive data and samples are missing from Anna and Jonah’s lab; it may be corporate espionage. Everyone is under suspicion and, and they’re even beginning to question each other. Anna must discover the truth if she’s going to save both her job and her relationship with the man she dreams of serving.

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Her Wish, His Command Excerpt

Jonah sipped from his cup. “This coffee is better than usual. What did you do?”

“I washed out the pot and filter?” Anna laughed and threw her braid back over her shoulder. Wasn’t playing with hair supposed to be a flirty thing to do? She glanced into Jonah’s eyes and saw his pupils dilate ever so slightly.

Jonah placed his cup on the counter. “I usually just dump the old coffee.”

Anna reached to top him off, making sure she grazed him again. She turned and put the coffee pot back in its place. Her hip bumped him.

“Anna?” he asked in a deep, questioning tone.

“Yes?” She paused. “Jonah?” She drew his name out on her tongue.

His eyes locked with hers. “What’s this about?”

Anna broke eye contact as his scrutiny became too intense. “What’s what about?”

“This.” He gestured toward her. “Is this about yesterday?”

Anna wasn’t sure where to go with her plan. “Yesterday?” She feared her manner gave the impression of stupid instead of coy.

“Yes, yesterday. We had a moment, for lack of a better term. Is this some game?”

Anna straightened. “Game? What is that supposed to mean?” Her voice lost its teasing edge.

“It means that either you are trying to needle me or maybe … maybe you want something?”

Anna frowned. “Those are the only two explanations?”

Jonah considered for an instant. “Anna, you’re not interested in me, are you?”

Anna thumped her mug on the counter. “Of course not.” Color rose in her face.

“Anna, about yesterday. I didn’t mean to be unprofessional.” His apologetic manner unnerved her.

“You were not unprofessional,” Anna bit out. What a disaster. Was he going to say something kind? Anna didn’t think she could bear the embarrassment.

Jonah took her hand lightly in his. Her hand trembled, and Anna was sure he felt it. “Are you afraid?” He looked into her eyes. “Or aroused?”

Anna swayed as his calloused thumb stroked her palm. The lab seemed to shrink, the walls gathering close around them.

He tugged on her hand, bringing to his lips. He nipped her fingertip.

Anna struggled to remain impassive as her blood surged. She sensed she hadn’t fooled Jonah with her imperfect façade of calm.

A predatory masculine smile crossed his face. “I see.” He sucked her fingertip into his mouth.

*****

Malia Mallory

Malia Mallory Biography

Malia Mallory lives in Hawaii with her husband and daughter. She’s been working with words since alphabet blocks rolled into her crib, not only writing her own work but copy editing and proofreading the work of others. She has loved to read about relationships since she first sneaked off with her mother’s Harlequin.

Malia Mallory is the best-selling author of The ABCs of Erotica series, which covers the erotic spectrum from BDSM to ménage and everything in between. More releases in the series are on the way. She has also released the Mia’s Cop Craving series and Santa’s Backdoor Baby. Malia’s books have hit the bestselling erotica lists at both Amazon and iTunes. Her books are available in electronic format at major retailers like Amazon, Barnes & Noble, iTunes, Kobo, Sony, Diesel, Smashwords and AllRomance Books.

For a free copy of B is for Beach from The ABCs of Erotica, head to her website and sign up for the newsletter at http://www.maliamallory.com/Join_My_Mailing_List.php.

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Connect with Malia Mallory

Twitter – http://www.twitter.com/@MaliaMallory

Facebook – http://www.facebook.com/MaliaMallory

Blog – http://abcsoferotica.wordpress.com/

Web Page – http://www.maliamallory.com

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Buy Links –

Amazon – http://amzn.to/10OHcoZ

 

Amazon UK – http://amzn.to/10OHiNk

 

Barnes & Noble – http://bit.ly/10OFW5e

 

Smashwords – http://bit.ly/10OGXdL

 

All Romance – http://bit.ly/10OGisy

 

Bookstrand – http://bit.ly/10OGwjs

 

Kobo – http://bit.ly/10OGNTH