Sometimes Sick Means Naughty…

I have a penchant for the naughty… Shocker, I know. 😉 You can quit laughing any time now…

Anyway, I’ve been recovering from a vacation in the Bahamas that led to a sinus infection that led to hubby getting sick…and, as I’ve told you guys before, strange things happen when I’m not feeling well. Today has been the first time in nearly a week that I haven’t felt the need to sleep the day away. What does that mean? That music has been in my head….

Music

Of course, like I said…there’s a danger in being the music in my head when I’m recovering from being ill. Why? Because chances are you’re not going to get the traditional stuff. So here’s the deal…I’ve had naughty/maybe inappropriate songs stuck in my head….and I would like you guys to join me in my raunchy fun…

They think the love of Big Butts started with Sir Mix-A-Lot. I beg to differ. I’ve always loved this Queen song…and even more so when my boy Puck from Glee re-did it… “Fat Bottomed Girls”!

It’s not only the boys who can be bad… and on that note, here’s another naughty favorite. Salt-n-Pepa’s “Push It”. If you were a child of the ’80’s how could you not love this song?

Then there’s the mellow, sneak up on you kind of nasty… And who does that better than Jimmy Buffett? Which song? You need ask? There’s only one that fits this category… “Why Don’t We Get Drunk And Screw”, of course!

The hair band, rocker chick in me always found this one deliciously naughty… Great White’s “Once Bitten, Twice Shy”…My, my, my….

Finally, for the really naughty girl in me… Lil Rob’s …”Bring Out The Freak In You”. (Warning you right now…this is definitely explicit).

So, keeping all this in mind…what songs would you add to my bad girl list?

There’s actually a special song that’s been stuck in my head for a couple weeks now. Why? Because it’s kind of become the theme for a Work In Progress of mine. Yes, that’s the biggest reason why I’ve been MIA lately. What started out as just one piece has somehow turned into 2 (so far). Soon, I’ll be revealing more to you guys… Please be patient with me. I promise I haven’t disappeared.

In the meantime, I’ll leave you with the Maroon 5 song that’s turned into the theme for my piece…

Don’t forget…let me know what naughty songs you absolutely love (and why)….

The Sex Talk

I was talking to an old friend today. When she and I get together on the phone, our conversations wander everywhere. This is partially due to the fact that we don’t get the opportunity to talk very often and partly because we both seem to just flow from topic to topic. We spent a portion of our youth in the same universe and had some very similar negative experiences in our lives, so there’s a lot of common ground.

This time our conversation flowed between two things….and it was kicked off by none other than Kid Rock and how we both absolutely loved his Rock And Roll Jesus album. I shouldn’t have been surprised when our mutually favorite song from the cd was the same one. So Hott is sexual, explicit and unapologetic…and we both have those moments about us. I will warn, if you’re under 18, this probably isn’t the song or blog for you…

From there, we talked about other sexual type songs that we love (and that in my case surprise people). Making the list was Bring Out The Freak In You by Lil Rob, Akon’s Smack That and, oddly enough, Erasure. There are no naughty words in this song, but if you listen carefully to the words…yeah…there’s a hotness about them.

The sexy music led to talk about sexy philosophies. She made me laugh when she told me that quote’s Meredith Brooks to her man and tells him “I’m a bitch, I’m a tease…I’m a goddess on my knees.” I LOVE that. It reminded me of Jerry Hall’s quote, “My mother said it was simple to keep a man; you must be a maid in the living room, a cook in the kitchen, and a whore in the bedroom.”

Remember Molly Ringwald’s lipstick trick from The Breakfast Club? I used to think that was cool until I found out about what my friend can do. Yup! That’s where we went next. Naughty human tricks.

There was the trick my friend liked to do that went with the quote…. Seriously. A trick. I’ve heard of tying a cherry stem into a knot. In fact, I’ve tied a cherry stem into a knot. (For that matter, so has hubby…LOL!) I’ve even heard of being able to stick your entire fist in your mouth. Tried that one, too. Yeah, I’ve got a big mouth…no one was shocked that I could do that one. But hers? No way in heck I can do what she can do.

My friend can take her tongue, drop it into the back of her throat like she’s swallowing it…all the way back past the uvula. In fact, she can get it so far back that she can make push it against the uvula and make it dance. Yeah. Gentlemen…start your engines. I’m sure you can imagine how this talent can be beneficial to you. I’m pretty sure this means NO GAG REFLEX…LOL!

So what about you guys? What songs make you think raw sex? Do you have any quotes that speak to what appeals in a relationship? Do you know any “tricks”? If you don’t have any tricks of your own, what tricks have you seen that made your jaw drop?