No one likes to feel that way. Everyone is worth something.
Sometimes, though, we forget.
When you catch someone believing the worst about themselves, what do you do?
You can make such a difference! Remind them about their worth.
And when someone goes out of their way to make you feel that way? Take a page out of Pink’s book when she addressed a few haters… Is it any wonder I’m such a big fan?
At the end of the day, though, it all starts within ourselves, right?
To change the world, we start with us. By lifting someone else up. By choosing to see the best in ourselves, and looking at our weaknesses as opportunities rather than with hate and self loathing. So why don’t we help each other out?
What’s the nicest thing someone’s said to you lately? Share something admirable or heartwarming that you witnessed recently…. Let’s spread some uplifting goodness!
Who has ever heard or said some derivative of one or both of these statements?
“He has intimacy issues.”
or
“It’s his responsibility to make sure you cum first.”
I’m guilty. I remember finding out from a friend at a pleasure party I hosted that she’d never achieved orgasm and me (and every other woman in the room) blamed her boyfriend. It was a reflexive reaction, probably partially programmed through years of hearing how when something goes wrong it must be the man’s fault/responsibility.
Lately, though, I’ve started looking at things differently. Men aren’t the only ones with intimacy issues. In fact, many women have major physical intimacy issues with themselves. I wish I could say it’s uncommon to hear how women are uncomfortable with their own bodies or that discomfort at masturbation is still a thing. But it’s not. In fact, I’ve discovered that it’s much more likely for me to talk to people with hang ups about this subject.
Why is that? As my buddy, August McLaughlin, points out in one of her GirlBoner posts, Orgasms are good for us! I’m going to take things a step forward and say that self induced orgasms are important for both your confidence and your love life.
Remember the old adage, “how can you expect someone else to love you if you can’t love yourself?” There’s truth to that. Not because other people can’t love you, but because if you don’t love yourself, often you don’t recognize when someone else does. Well, why are our bodies any different? If we don’t know how to rev our own engine, is it really fair to blame the partner who has difficulty deciphering our physical codes? Sure, there will be times when someone who really knows his/her way around the human body may make yours sing in ways you’ve never experienced before, but that’s not the norm.
Building and maintaining physical heat takes communication… Sharing what gets you hot (or not). If you don’t know where to start on your own body, it’s total guess work for your partner. And if you’re one of those people who “fakes it” because you don’t want to disappoint, you’ll probably never know the wonders that your body is capable of providing for you. The endorphin rush is amazing. Addictive, even.
But seriously. The best way to ensure sexual satisfaction? Start with yourself. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with a bit of sensual exploration. In fact, here are a few suggestions to aid in your self discovery.
My newest favorite
Lubricant– ladies, lube isn’t just a thing for men, and they’re not all created equal. We’re not always wet when we begin a self pleasuring session, and this can be an incredible help. This particular one, made by Aloe Cadabra, is made with 95% Organic Aloe and is 100% awesome! The one pictured in my hand is the peppermint flavor that gives you that wonderful tingly sensation while you’re playing south of the border. It also doesn’t leave you feeling greasy or sticky or slimy when you’re done. It’s even got healing properties…. Who knew?
Pleasure paraphenalia
Toys– There’s this myth that says growing up means we outgrow playing with toys. I beg to differ. The type of toys we play with simply changes. When I began to explore these bedroom enhancers, I found some very interesting devices, but found I had a sensitivity to some of the materials used (jelly, specifically) to create these passion playthings. That’s when I remembered hearing about glass toys. They can be warmed and cooled, allowing me to pick my pleasure without the after-effects of vaginal irritation and/or discomfort. Nowadays, it’s amazing how many options there are, so it’s just a matter of finding what works for you. Me? I enjoy shopping at adult shops or hosting pleasure parties (though others may prefer the privacy shopping online affords them). In fact, I hosted one at the end of last month. My consultant was a truly fabulous woman named Stacey…and she’s moving to Wisconsin, so if you live in that area and want to have a party, here’s her website. Tell her I sent you!
Inspirational Paraphanelia– Not everyone can get heated just because they’ve decided to explore. Some are great at being able to close their eyes and fantasize, but not everyone can do it quite that easily. Erotic reading materials are a fantastic source of inspiration. In fact, click here to check out a current ongoing blog hop (It ends on the 21st) that’s all about giving away Wickedly Hot and Sexy books or Amazon gift cards. Yes, I’m giving away a copy of one of my books. 😉
Partners– Hey, if you’re in a relationship, discovering what works for you can be a joint adventure. There’s something extremely sexy about sitting across the room from your lover, watching him/her enjoy himself while you do the same. Me? Sometimes I prefer a taste of danger or the possibility of getting caught. Yes, there’s something about enjoying myself in the passenger seat when my partner has to keep his hands on the wheel that appeals to me. Or surreptitiously doing it in a public place where an observant person might notice, but maybe not. You know, like in a fancy restaurant, sitting across from your lover….or in a movie theater.
Yes, the pleasure possibilities are endless! The health benefits are great. The ability to take responsibility for your own orgasm and lead your partner to pleasing you? Priceless! The fact that May just happens to be Masturbation Month just gives you the perfect excuseopportunity to explore.
What major insights or changes in thinking have you experienced with regards to sexuality and/or relationships? If you’re one who enjoys the solo touch, what advice or lessons would you care to impart on folks who might just be opening up to self discovery?
And, of course, my warped humor wouldn’t let me leave out the ever-so-famous Sex in the City “Rabbit Intervention” episode. 😉 Enjoy!
Mothers are powerful. Through them, children learn life lessons like self worth, empowerment, or sometimes…the opposite.
A mother’s feelings about her body or sexuality are often passed down and reflected in her children, particularly, daughters. A mother who diets a lot and speaks negatively about her body and weight sends the message that beauty is contingent on a very specific body image, often one that’s almost impossible to live up to.
The other day, it was driven home to me just how impressionable children are and how important a mother’s role is. A fellow author friend was lamenting the fact that her 3 year old had become convinced that she was “sick” and must stay home by her day care teacher because she’d been coughing. Apparently the teacher told her she shouldn’t be at school. My friend knew it was allergies, but because “teacher said,” her little girl could not be convinced to go to school because she was “sick.”
One word from that teacher. That’s all it took to convince a 3 year old. Wow! Is it any wonder that it got me thinking about other messages parents send their children, intentional or otherwise? I’ve shared the positive impact my own mother made on me regarding body image and sexuality….
But what does one do when the messages sent to them weren’t so uplifting? How does one go about fixing themselves so that they can be a better, stronger person for their children? Recently I saw this video by Amy Jo Goddard and thought she had some great points…
A mother’s job is so important. She molds and builds her children to be strong, capable, productive members of society…hopefully who are also comfortable in their own skins, with their own bodies. She can raise children who aren’t afraid to embrace life, make their own decisions…and handle all the consequences, both good and bad.
What valuable lessons did your mother teach you? If your a mom, what message do you hope you’ve imparted on your children?
In honor of all the wonderful Mothers out there…and the wonderful and challenging job they have, I’m giving away my first novelette, Three For All….so go grab your Freebie and tell your friends!
Here’s a little excerpt:
“Oh, come on,” James whined. “You’re not seriously going to make me go play by myself.”
“That was a loaded statement.” I bit my tongue to keep from giggling over James’ inadvertent innuendo. “But seriously, there are always options.”
“Options?” His eyes were nearly black with intensity, his curiosity was caught. “Such as?”
“Well,” I smiled brightly and stepped between both men, “We could always head back to your uncle’s cottage. Much more privacy there.”
James shook his head as he took a step back. “Oh, hell no. This is my vacation too. We are not going back there just so I can sit all by myself in my room while you two get your freak on, christening every room in the place. Been there, done that. No thanks. Not today. Love you, but no.”
The urge to do a happy dance at the opportunity that just landed in my lap was nearly irresistible. Instead, I batted my eyes at them playfully as my hands found their way up both men’s chests, enjoying the feel of firm muscle. “Who said you had to be by yourself?”
I’m a lucky woman. I have people in my life who are passionate about the things that matter to them. In fact, they are so passionate that they know, to the depths of their souls, that they can change the world one person at a time. And I believe they’ll do it. How could I not? Recently I had the opportunity to be at August McLaughlin’s Facebook party where she candidly discussed her eating disorder and the ties to self esteem. She shared two powerful videos. One was about her journey to healing and the other centered on education and insight on a parent’s impact on their child. Check it out!
Another great friend is Ande Lyons from Bring Back Desire. Her mission to help educate women on the beauty and joy of accepting yourself. She is a huge proponent of exploring your sexuality and discovering your inner diva. She believes that self discovery is the key to personal happiness and lasting relationships. She’s creating a safe environment where women are welcome to go for tips, pointers and to ask the questions they may be too afraid or intimidated to ask elsewhere. She understands the struggle on a very personal level, and through hard work, love and dedication has managed to keep her love with her darling alive. In fact, they just celebrated their 25th anniversary!
They’re not the only ones, either. I’m extremely fortunate to be surrounded online by people who have such strong senses of self. People who’ve taken the things that have personally impacted their lives and converted them from areas of weaknesses into platforms of strength. It’s great to know I’m not alone.
Most of you know that self esteem and words are near and dear to my heart. Today I thought I’d share with you a bit about how I chose the causes that most impacted my life. Oddly enough, it wasn’t until recently that I connected what happened to me my first two years of high school with bullying. The below is the story of how it impacted me.
Many of you know that my brother died right before my freshman year in high school. What you may not know is that after my brother died, I transferred schools and our family moved. It was too painful living so close to the site of my brother’s accident and there were just too many ghosts (memories, not literal) in our apartment. Fortunately, the hospital my mom worked at offered employee housing at a discount in a great neighborhood. Our church also approached my mom about giving my sister and I scholarships to go to their private school. They thought our faith and positive attitudes might be a good influence and would allow us to continue education in a “Christian” environment.
A couple of itsy, bitsy problems with their plan. That particular private school went from preschool through 10th grade, then the kids went on to boarding school. What did that mean? These kids all grew up together in a very sheltered environment. Many of them grew up in neighborhoods surrounded by people of the same religion, went to church school, then off to private colleges within that denomination. Once they graduated some would go into the secular world, but most would work either in teaching in that denomination, working in hospitals of that denomination…and a spare few would venture out into the “real” world. The other problem? As if their being sheltered wasn’t problem enough, my coming in from the outside made me “fresh meat”.
On my first day of school there were a total of 2 new students in my class. Pretty much all the girls within my general age range hated me on sight because they knew that a new girl coming in was going to draw male attention. Oddly enough, I understood that and wasn’t overly bothered. It only took a couple of weeks for most of the guys to follow suit.
This had never happened to me before. Raised by a mother who told me I could do and be whomever I wanted to be, I was a very confident young lady. In fact, the above picture of me was during this time. After hearing how ugly, stupid and untalented I was over and over again, cracks began to appear. Within one month of starting at this school I was told by a kid I’d gone to church with since I’d moved to this country that he’d heard I’d already been through about 20 boyfriends. Apparently I was also the biggest slut in the school despite the fact that I was “ugly”. It didn’t matter that I hadn’t really dated anyone because I was too busy grieving my kid brother’s loss (we were best of friends despite the 4 year age difference). When I did choose to date, I selected guys I knew from my old world…in public schools. I still remember hearing my schoolmates tell me that I was lying about my boyfriends because there was no way a “public school boy” would be interested in someone like me.
One thing to know about me? Even then I had pride in spades. I realized two things pretty quickly. First, though my instinct was to fight (and yes, I’d done it before…heck, I’m part Spanish and Chinese–pretty much guarantees a temper). I quickly realized this would not be a viable option. Not only could I not afford to get into trouble, my mother did not need more stress. Second, there was no way in heck I would let these people see the body blows their words were causing.
I still remember one particularly painful Friday night when one of my male sophomore schoolmates came by my house before our church youth group meeting. That night I learned just how bad my reputation was. As we were walking in he told me, “I don’t believe it now, but I thought you should know. —- told me that if I asked you out on a date I could get laid by the end of it.” I was so furious that though it was snowing and the dead of winter, I stepped outside with no coat on in an attempt to cool off once the guy who told him that (yes, despite it all, I am still choosing not to name him to protect the not so innocent) arrived. I didn’t even feel the cold.
It was my choir and voice teacher that want in, got my coat, put it around me and sat on the step beside me. She wrapped a comforting arm around me and told me this:
“It’s hard to be where you are right now. The problem is you’ve been through too much. Seen too much. So despite the similarity in years, you’re decades older than your classmates. I’ve been where you are. They’re hurtful. Immature. And they have no idea how badly what they’re doing hurts. As unfair as it is, you will find that despite the fact that they pick on you and are mean to you, when the chips are down…you’re the first person they come to for advice. They know you’ve been there. That you know how to cope. Chances are you also won’t date guys your own age. Eventually they catch up. They grow up. Eventually. But hang in there. You’re tougher than they are and they need you.”
Oddly enough, she was right. Even stranger…I didn’t know the full extent of the damage their body blows caused by words had inflicted until springtime. There was one upperclassman guy that I’d become friends with. He had never quite comfortably fit in with his group…and most of his friends, like mine were outside of this small community. He also lived in my old neighborhood, so one day he invited me to come with him after school. I was elated. That’s when I blew myself away and realized that when you hear something often enough you start to believe it. Words can be insidious. I don’t even remember what we were talking about initially…just the explosion.
Me: Well I’m ugly, so what does it matter? Friend:(Stopped car in the middle of rush hour traffic on busy street, turns and looks at me, shocked.) Excuuuuse me, What did you just say??? Me:You heard me. Friend:You know that’s not true. The girls only say it because they’re jealous. Me:(shrugged) Whatever. I could understand if it was just the girls. Most girls haven’t liked me very much anyway, but it’s the guys, too. Friend:(Stared me in the eye as if willing me to believe him) The guys are just saying it because they’re pissed. Most of them have asked you out and you’ve completely blown them off. Not interested. This is their way of getting even. Me: Well, it sucks. Friend:I know. Ignore them. Don’t let it get to you. You know what they’re saying’s not true. Me:I thought I was. Guess it’s easier said than done.
The funny thing was that I didn’t realize how closely the teaching staff had been paying attention to what had been happening. Back then, it would have been labeled “growing pains” or a part of growing up. People got picked on. The trick was to survive it. The word Bullying in conjunction to what happened to me…well that’s a recent bit of connecting the dots as I’ve watched all these poor young kids going through their heartaches…made that much easier by the internet.
It wasn’t until one of my female classmates who had a tendency to be a bit cruel and gossipy bore the brunt of some teasing that I found out that the teachers had been watching and cheering me on. You see, this young lady was tall, but not at all endowed in the bosom department. She also had the misfortune of having the last name Chestnut. Typical of boys, they began to use the word “Chest Not” rather than her actual last name. Considering she could dish it out, I’m sure you’re not at all shocked to hear that being the target, she didn’t handle it very well at all.
She walked up to our homeroom teacher and whined to him about the fact that the boys were “making fun” of her. His response shocked the heck out of me. Instead of sympathy, here’s what he said:
“You’ve been going through this for a few days. Imagine how it must feel to be some of your classmates. There are people, one person in particular, in your class who have had to deal with you guys treating her like this for over a year and she hasn’t said anything once. Imagine how hurt she must feel.”
That same young lady who’d been whining came looking for me to give me a hug and to apologize for ever making me feel the way she was feeling right then. I thanked her for her apology and dropped the discussion.
When sophomore year ended I begged my mom not to send me to boarding academy and she concurred. That summer I got very sick. In one month’s time I lost over 10 lbs. Considering I only weighed 105 lbs to begin with, my family became concerned. I’d completely lost my appetite. Most foods made me nauseous on sight or by smell. I would get nauseous and shaky at the idea of leaving the house (now I recognize I was probably having anxiety attacks). While at my grandparents that summer there was only one thing I could eat that would not make me sick. Plain cake doughnuts. I only drank Sprite or water and I discovered the healing properties of mint (by way of mint flavored gum). It was the only way to keep me from dry heaving.
The moment I got back home my mom made me see a doctor. He asked me if I was pregnant. He didn’t believe me when I told him I was a virgin until he did tests and they came back negative for pregnancy. What he did discover was that I had an “unrealized depression caused by lack of vitamin B-12”.
It took me months of forcing myself to eat, of bringing water and mint gum with me everywhere…of forcing myself to go out, but I began to recover during my junior year. The carefree wild child I used to be was gone forever. She was replaced by someone who became very controlled. Careful with both words and temper….and I realized something else. That “unrealized depression”? Technically, maybe that’s what it was…but in reality it was simply relief. My body and my mind had, for two years, stayed strong for me. Blocked tears and fears and protected me from people out to hurt me. They’d been on the defensive…”Never give them the power of letting them know they’ve hurt you”. Finally, once I knew I wasn’t going back…I was safe. Once my body knew everything would be okay…it gave itself permission to crash, to feel.
For me, the trauma became a physical manifestation, not emotional. In fact, concerned about how the kids were tearing themselves and each other apart…and fully aware of the damage words could inflict, I went back to that school and found my English teacher. I asked her if I could come back and talk to her class about my experience and the damage… maybe prevent someone else from going through what had happened to me. She asked me to speak to 4 classes from 7th grade to 10th grade. I did. Honestly, I don’t know if it did any good, but I had to try. If it made a difference to even one person, it was worth it.
Since that time building up peoples’ self esteem and helping folks realize the power (both good and bad) that words hold have been passions for me. It comes from a very personal place. I was fortunate. I had a mother who’d already built a core of strength within me by giving me both faith in myself and God. Yes, it was shaken….but my foundation was firm. A little focus and I was back…and stronger than I’d been before. Not everyone has that.
Not everyone has the courage to speak up or speak out. Those of us who do have an obligation to do so. Be the strength for someone else when they run out of their own. Be their belief when they lose sight of themselves. Be the friend to hold them close and build them up when they need it…because as strong as you are…there will be a day you’ll need it, too. I guarantee you, when that day comes…they’ll be there for you as well.
Have you ever been made to feel like less than you are? Do you have a cause that’s near and dear to your heart based on personal experiences? Do you have a poem, quote or thought or song to share that makes you feel strong or confident…or can help build someone up? Please share it… You never know what simple act you may have done that could help strengthen a soul or change a life. Look at those little moments that did it for me!
Today, while chillaxin’ with some ladies on a Google Hangout hosted by Gigi Ross I heard a question that got me thinking. We all know how dangerous that can be….Before I get into the question, let me give you some back story. I received an invite from my awesome buddy, August McLaughlin inviting me to an event about How Women’s Body Image Affects Sex. As many of you are aware through August’s GirlBoner posts, this is a subject near and dear to her heart, so I wasn’t at all surprised to hear she’d been asked to be a panelist for this event. In fact, her most recent post was entitled Sexual Confidence: How To Feel Sexier Naked. Based on her personal experiences, she was a fantastic selection.
Over the years I’ve noticed just how negative most women are about their self images. Somehow, with the exception of my toes, I’ve escaped many of those problems. Have I always been thrilled with my weight? No, but I also knew that I could do something about it at any time. Even better, regardless of what weight I’ve been, I’ve always felt sexy. I’ve just never felt like my sex appeal was very tied to my size/body weight. In fact, as you can see below, I was probably tooconfident for my mother’s peace of mind. In fact, if she’d had any idea back then that I’d ask a friend to take “flirty” pictures like this, she’d have probably skinned me alive. Believe it or not, though, the girl in that picture was a virgin!
Me At Nineteen
As you’ve seen in other pictures I’ve shared, I don’t exactly look like that anymore. Despite that, I’ve been blessed with a healthy self image and lots of confidence (Yes, Ladies, confidence is sexy as hell and men notice when you’ve got that going on even more than they notice the “banging” body…at least that’s been my experience).
But let me get back to the question posed to the panelists: Do you think that men struggle with body image? The general consensus was that no, men didn’t struggle with this issue or at least not much. It was the only time in the entire chat that I found myself pausing and thinking that maybe…just maybe…they were wrong about something. I kept thinking back to my husband and some of his issues over the years along with a blog post by Don Of All Trades and realized I needed to write about my take on this subject.
Hubby And I When We Were Bigger
This picture was taken about 3-4 years ago. As you can see, neither of us was “thin”. In fact, we’d steadily been gaining weight for several years. Believe it or not, even then, I never questioned my sex appeal. My husband was a different story. He always seemed surprised when a woman would flirt with him. He questioned his desirability. He definitely struggled with his libido and feeling sexy. He stopped doing things he loved like going to amusement parks, afraid he was “too big” to participate.
I worried about his feelings over even the most innocuous statements. If someone used words like “big guy”, he’d assume they were poking fun at his weight…even if it never entered their minds. He hated taking pictures. He’d get depressed at the thought of going shopping. In fact, when he needed new work clothes in, he found it easier (less embarrassing) to send me to the mall without him when he needed new work clothes. Or he’d buy directly from some Big And Tall store online.
It was around New Years a couple years ago that I decided I wanted to change things up. I wanted to get a little healthier, especially since I was not on the road as much for work. I decided to track my portions and minimize my complex carbs. I also decided to start using the treadmill we bought.
I still remember him coming home that first day to me on the treadmill and the conversation that ensued, verbatim.
Him: What do you think you’re doing?
Me: I’ve decided I want to work out regularly and get healthy.
Him: Yeah. Good luck with that.
And he walked back into the living room where he flopped down onto the couch and watched tv all night.
The funny thing, though? When I got home from work the next day, I had to wait my turn for the treadmill. Why? Because he was on it. He decided without any coercion from me that he wanted to change, so he joined me in tracking food and exercise through cell phone apps.
Us After the Weight Loss
Within a year I lost 50 lbs and he lost 160 lbs! Pretty significant, right? Slowly but surely his confidence and libido grew. He was happier. He no longer assumes that everything is a dig at him about his physique.
Hubby At Tough Mudder
I shared the question of male body image with him and this is what we came up with. The reason most women seem to assume that body issues don’t affect most men is because men aren’t nearly as dramatic about their body hate as women. They didn’t really have “false modesty” bashed into their heads. What they are is more stoic about their lack of confidence.
From what hubby shared with me, where women have often blamed the media and Hollywood for the popularity of unhealthy or unrealistic body images, men have remained quiet. However, media has increased their impact on their negative self perceptions, too. How? He said that washboard abs have always been around, but it wasn’t nearly as threatening to a man’s ego because it wasn’t discussed so prevalently or so blatantly among women as it is now. The change, he said, comes from how more publicized articles based on “what women want” in a man. Now they’re getting a taste of articles that talk about the physical attributes that sexually attract women….and in great detail, leaving some men feeling lacking when being compared to the likes of The Rock or Bradley Cooper…or even Channing Tatum. Yup! They’ve got a pretty good idea about what women find sexy and it can be intimidating as hell.
Pretty perceptive of hubby if you ask me… So why don’t you guys and gals tell me what you think? Do you feel that there’s a tie between your body image and your ability to feel sexy? Do you believe that men struggle with body image issues?
And while you’re at it, I’d like you guys to tell me two things that you love about yourself and/or your body. This was the last question asked on the event and I thought it was a great positive note on which to end the body image discussion.
I’ll go first. The two things I love about my body: My lips and my eyes.
Well? What are you waiting for? An engraved invitation? It’s your turn!!! I’m waiting…..
And for those of you who may have missed the discussion and want to watch it…Here’s the YouTube video for you to watch.
Looking back, I guess I should have realized, with favorite books like A Proud Taste Of Scarlet And Miniver and the complete Nancy Drew series that I had my mission in life. This may sound silly today, but as a little girl, I dreamed of winning Miss USA or Miss Universe. Now before you go making your assumptions about my mom putting me in some sort of Toddlers and Tiaras thing let me assure you nothing could be further from the truth. But as a girl, I was fascinated by the outfits, the poise, the beauty and the talent. For me, though, I always picked my winners from the interview portion.
Why am I talking about this? Because I was thinking…if I ever got up there and I was asked my question I know what I’d want it to be. “If you could pick one cause that you feel passionately about in this world that you’d like to try to fix and that you think could have a lasting impact on the world around you what would it be?” My answer: Self Esteem in women.
My favorite female historical character is Eleanor of Aquitaine. She isn’t very well known, but she is considered to be the grandmother of Europe. Almost every monarchy in Europe have blood ties to her line. She was the first queen to be married to two kings. The king of France & the king of England. She was smart, tough and feisty. In fact, after her second husband, Henry II cheated on her she was able to get her sons to turn on him, wage war…and he almost lost his land! My kind of woman. Here is a clip from The Lion In Winter where she and Henry, her husband are talking. By this time he’d locked her away in a distant castle where he felt she could do no more damage…
Perfect casting done…with Katharine Hepburn playing her role. She was the mother of Richard the Lionheart and King John. Most people have heard of them. She intrigued me by being so strong and powerful and sure of herself in an age where women were regarded as nothing more than chattel!
Times have changed these days. We have women’s lib! We can vote. We can own land. We can do so much…and yet women of today seem to struggle every day with the person they see in the mirror. Too many women gain their self worth from if they’re married…then who they’ve married. Sometimes it’s the job they hold. Or whether or not they have children. Women stay in bad relationships because they’re afraid they deserve nothing better. Or that they won’t be able to make it on their own. But what message does this send their children?
Women are strong! Powerful! They give birth to children. They make homes. They enstill values in their children. They’re tough, but they can temper that with understanding and compassion. They show their strength every day in what they’re willing to do or to sacrifice for their children! But somehow, it rarely translates to being willing to do the same for themselves!
Over the years I’ve developed friendships…and in my own little way, I’ve tried to be a friend. I’ve listened. I’ve encouraged people to go for their dreams. To explore their talents. To believe in themselves. I’ve helped a couple friends learn to fight for themselves and to stand on their own two feet….and I’ve prayed that they’ve passed that newfound passion for life to their daughters. I figure if I can help just one person…and they help one more…maybe we’ll have that chance!
Yeah, people blame magazines and skinny supermodels for women’s poor self image. But I think it goes deeper than that! I also think that if we can’t find a way to love ourselves enough to be willing to fight for ourselves, to stand up for ourselves…the cycle will continue to repeat itself. What can you do to empower someone? What issue in this world would you love to find a way to fix or to change? How would you go about it? Who do you look up to? Who is your favorite historical character and why?
So, I've been spanked, hard! I have spanked myself hard, I have spanked others even harder! I'm now heading for a different road, one that still includes all the best bits of me, all the naughty bits, all the hot steamy bits, and plenty of spanking still to be had! But this time I'm creating characters to play out my delightful erotic fantasies, I hope you enjoy the new ride as much as the previous one...
theinnerwildkat 