I’m Not Laughing

Ever have one of those moments where someone you consider a friend says something, adds a LMAO or a Haha to the end of it and you find yourself scratching your head wondering if it’s pure ignorance, poor taste, or if they realize how they’re coming across or if maybe they’re not the person you thought they were?

So what triggered this outrage in the normally quirky, laid back Kitt?

A couple of days ago, an old friend (father to a young girl whom he adores with his whole heart) posted on his feed…. “LMAO! Ask Siri what holiday it is today. You’ll thank me later.” I wondered for a moment what holiday he was talking about until I saw this in his feed…

Gen Mut

I couldn’t understand the humor.  Maybe he hadn’t heard of the plight of young girls, usually between the ages of 5 and 10, and mostly in Africa? Did he think it was some sort of joke? But the responses that were coming in had that same “LOL” style answer, too….and my blood started to boil.

Maybe it’s because I’ve lived in other countries. Maybe it’s because I’m a bit of an activist for women and a sex positive message, but I knew what happened to these young girls and it was more than I could take to watch all the laughter without saying something about the plight of these mutilated children. So I said something. Do I know if it sunk in? No. I don’t. But I did what I could there to educate, then brought up my frustration on my Facebook page.

The cool thing is, it got an open dialogue started.

For those who don’t know, Female Genital Mutilation is where young girls, usually between the ages of 5 and 10 are held down by several village women and their external privates, clit hood, clit, labia, and often the tissue at they entry of the vagina are cut off by the local midwife using an unsterilized blade and without anesthesia.

This is funny?

And the “whys” for this are even less humorous. As it turns out, one of my Facebook friends lived for an extended amount of time in Botswana, so she shared some of what she’d witnessed while she was there. The primary purpose of such brutality (and this, I already knew) is to prevent feelings of sexual arousal in their women. But it’s also more than that. They are under the misguided belief that destroying a woman’s privates will make her more desirable for marriage. That she’ll be more faithful. That it will maintain her virginity.

But my friend, Shabby, had more to share. She stated that she’d gotten to know several young ladies while living in Botswana with her husband for business, and the pain and brutality didn’t end with the mutilation. According to what she’d learned, no woman was safe from rape. The biggest targets were usually between the ages of 13-14, and that she’d seen 15 year olds pregnant. They were often beaten, left pregnant, with no alimony.

Their struggle was not what we consider a struggle here. No job, no car…. Their struggle was the rape the night before, the possibility that they now had AIDS, that their third child was on the way and they didn’t have enough money to get past the week. They had no marital prospects because maybe they weren’t deemed “desirable” enough or their last boyfriend left them the night before with no money and no way to fend for themselves, or they were robbed of their last five pula (their currency).

In fact, she said that her maid walked 5 miles to and from work daily and was robbed at least once a month and that all the women she’d gotten to know died before the age of 35. She cried every time. My heart ached.

Here my friends were, joking about something I’m pretty sure they didn’t even think truly existed because  it didn’t directly touch their lives or anyone they loved, yet on this very same planet are women hurting. Most of you know I’m all about empowerment and a sex positive message, but this goes so far beyond that! This is simple human kindness and decency.

The reality is, overall, we’re spoiled here in the States and thank God for it. But that doesn’t mean we can turn a blind eye to other people’s suffering. Or that we shouldn’t try to make the world a better place by opening ourselves up to understanding some of the hardships the rest of the world battles.

And by the way, this is impacting us here in the States, too! One of my nurse friends chimed in to tell me that the percentage of young girls in this country that this happens to is also climbing. She said that there are many Somali women who come to the hospital having been in this condition most of their lives, and when they get pregnant with baby girls, the pediatricians often know that these women are going to send their daughters out of the country to have the process done to their children. Because in their culture, this is a thing to be desired. They truly believe it’s the only way to guarantee the purity and desirability for marriage of their little ones.

Again, where is the humor in any of this?

As I was thinking about what to say, I found that lack of knowledge on the subject is actually not that uncommon….

So I guess that’s where we start, right? Educate? Share? Open the lines of communication up? From there, there are several charities and advocacy groups where one can choose to take their dedication a step or few further.

So tell me… Are you one of those people who didn’t know about this? Now that you do, what are you going to do with that knowledge?

Project Cliteracy

Recently, it was brought to my attention that the first ever International Clitoral Awareness Week took place from May 6-12. As it’s also National Masturbation Month, we figured it’s never too late to celebrate the clit. So, today, in honor of the clitoris, a few friends and myself put together a #ClitLove Blog Hop and Twitter hash tag party. There Will Be Prizes!

As most of you have figured out over time, my sense of fun can be a bit on the naughty side. It stood to reason that the tongue on bean humor from Jay & Silent Bob Strikes Back would be the perfect way to kick things off for me.

If there is one thing that seems to have been all over magazines geared to attract women it’s been the orgasm…and the zillion of variations with which women can achieve them (either solo or with a partner). Somewhere along the way the “Holy Grail” of orgasms became the G-Spot orgasm (never mind that there are those who think it’s like Santa and doesn’t exist). This got me thinking. Why, when we hear about women who’ve never achieved orgasm through intercourse, are we worrying about the hard to find one when we’ve got a little love button hidden in plain sight with nothing but a little hood for protection?

That pretty little pearl exists for nothing but a woman’s pleasure. In fact, it’s the only body part that functions purely for pleasure! A little shy, she needs a little coaxing to come out of her shell, but touch her just right and she’ll swell with beauty before detonating from the inside in shudders of pleasure and love juice.

Most self aware women are well aware of just how reliable that little bud is. In fact, “Clicking the mouse” is a reference to self pleasure through clitoral stimulation. Some of the most popular sex toys were designed with that tiny little pleasure part in mind from bullet and egg sex toys to butterfly panties (with remote) as made more popular by Katherine Heigl and Gerard Butler in The Ugly Truth.

The good news is that unlike the G-Spot, pretty much everyone seems to know where to find the clit….or at least the general vicinity. The better news is that this area, like women, can enjoy all sorts of different and versatile approaches to similar results! That means it takes most of the guess work out of it. Watch!

Getting any ideas yet? I know I am… As My friend and fellow blog hopper, August McLaughlin would say…I’m well on my way to a Girl Boner. Check out her what she has to say about The Highly Sensitive Clitoris. My darling friend, Ande Lyons from Bring Back Desire, cheers on all things that make a woman feel sexy and sensual. She, too, is participating with a post called Celebrating The Clitoris. Yolanda Shoshana, a new friend on Twitter who specializes in Courtesan Coaching and Clairvoyance joined the party with her post, Cheers To The Clit. Lana Fox wrote Freud’s Big Clitoral Snake and Angela Tavares who wrote Where Were You The First Time You Found The Clitoris at Go Deeper Press.

You can also join us today on Twitter, using the hashtag #ClitParty. For a chance to WIN an erotic book from Go Deeper Press , an erotic romance selected by Bring Back Desire or a 30-minute clairvoyant reading with Goddess Isis Oracle (via Skype or phone), Tweet us about your clitoris: What you love about it, what you’d say to it, your nickname for it—whatever!—using the hashtag #ClitParty.

Prizes will be awarded for the most retweets and/or favorites, with extra points given for creativity. (Pssst! Guys can enter, too! Talk about a romantic gesture—tweeting about your sweetheart’s clit.;))

As you guys know, I love when people share their thoughts, so I look forward to seeing what you have to say on the topic both on here and on Twitter. You guys never disappoint in your love of all things fun and sexy! Orgasm education is a good cause, don’t you agree? Viva La Clitty!

And for those of you who still feel you need more info on the clit…check out Clitoris Guide.org. They have a ton of interesting stuff!

Excited About Everything E!

There’s been this fun game going around involving letters of the alphabet. I’ve been fighting myself from asking to join in, but as you can tell by this post…it was a losing battle. How could I resist when people like Myndi Shafer came up with Bodacious B-words…that don’t end in itch. I couldn’t resist…I’ve always wanted to use the word Bodacious! Then there’s Kathy Owen who had R, and another favorite, Natalie Hartford and her very cool ideas of what makes J so loveable. Then, on Jenny Hanson’s blog yesterday I discovered Marcia Richards‘ ‘L’ words along with Jansen Schmitd‘s D’s!

So with Jenny’s Tantalizing Thoughts on T, I finally asked for a letter….and received E. At first I thought, crap! This is going to be tough…and then I found that I kept coming up with more and more words or things that started with E that I absolutely loved. Not wanting to leave anything out, I found a way to categorize my top ten ‘E’ words to share all my favorite things.

Here goes nothing!

Eggs- My favorite meal of the day has been, and I expect, always will be…breakfast. And I like eggs…done any way from scrambled to fried to boiled or poached. But I also like lots of foods that start with the word egg…like Eggrolls (Filipino style) or Egg drop soup or Egg noodles or Egg salad sandwich. (unfortunately I’m not a huge fan of Eggplant or Egg foo young).

Exotic Locales- I couldn’t make my mind if I wanted to put Egypt down (would love to visit the pyramids) or Europe which includes England (where my gram is from) and Estonia or Ecuador or El Salvador, so I found a way to incorporate them all!

Eleanors- Strange, right? But my heroes are women like Eleanor of Aquitaine & Eleanor Roosevelt. Women who know what it means to be strong way before equal rights became cool. They also knew that a sense of humor about life in general was important. My best friend in Jr High also happens to share the name, though we just called her Norie.

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