Friends and Fitness

There’s something truly awesome about having a best friend who’s known you most of your life. Most rewarding? Those unique conversations that don’t require the niceties, the intros…but just get to the heart of the matter. After a talk with another close friend today, an old conversation with my best friend rose to the surface of my memory banks….surprisingly enough, it wasn’t the cabbage diet story….or how her husband proposed, but it still ranks right up there on the hilarious meter.

Her: Thank GOD I didn’t buy that stripper pole….
Me: Oh, good lord. Do I even want to know?
Her: Probably not, but that’s not going to save you.
Me: So what’s this stripper pole all about? Trying something new and kinky with the hubs?
Her: Ha! No. Actually, remember when I told you that I bought a new workout to help me get in shape for your wedding?
Me: Oh, God. Why am I suddenly afraid….
Her: Because you’re a smart woman.
Me: So….
Her: The new workout dvds I bought were stripper work outs. Pole optional.
Me:
::Snorts a small laugh::
Her: Go ahead. Laugh away. It was a good workout!
Me: So what happened?
Her: So there I was in the living room doing my workout when I looked over my shoulder and found my 2 year old daughter doing the bootie bounce right beside me.
Me: Oh my….(the laughter is now pretty hysterical)
Her: Never mind that her form was better than mine. She turned and asked me if she was doing it right. My daughter is not going to grow up to be a stripper!!! (Mild hysteria set in)
Me: (Choking back the laughter–or trying to) And you almost bought the pole? How’s daddy taking all of this?
Her: Oh, thank goodness the hubby was in another room and didn’t see. You know how protective he is. My problem is that I was planning on bringing her to church this weekend. Can you imagine? Her teacher asks her what she did this week and she’ll say she exercised and then decides to demonstrate? They’re going to kick us out!!!!

Exercise

Yeah. Fitness can be quite comical. There are all sorts of videos out there that claim to aid in “fitness”. Some of them even follow through on their promises.

I still remember as children, my mom had us acclimated to getting up and working out. Sometimes it was with 20 Minute Workout on tv, other times it was one of Jane Fonda’s videos. So when we went to visit my dad, my sister thought nothing of asking him if he had any exercise videos so she could get her exercise in. For a 10 year old she was pretty dedicated to fitness. It wasn’t until later that we understood the look of horror on my dad’s face. Apparently, the only “work out” tape he had was something called “Eroticise“. I’m pretty sure it was just nekkid exercise.

Today, while having lunch with a friend, a commercial for Shaun T’s Insanity workout came on. I laughed and mentioned that hubby had that particular set of workouts, but I’d never tried it. And then this happened…

Friend: I’ve tried that workout. It’s good, but hard.
Me: Yeah. Not me….although I have done my own Shaun T workout. He’s pretty good.
Friend: Which one?
Me: Hip Hop Abs. It was actually a lot of fun! Shaun T’s kinda hot & the music’s okay.
Friend: Dance ones can be fun…
Me: Can you picture doing those moves on a real dance floor, though?
Friend: Ha. Not even.
Me: There sure are some strange things that people turn into workouts.
Friend: Yeah, I know. The boyfriend has a Brazilian Butt Lift workout at home.
Me: Ha! Why do I suddenly have an image of some Brazilian dude cupping your boyfriend’s ass and “raising the roof”?
Friend: I’m so telling him you said that!

But seriously…. Think of all the different types of fitness videos that have come out over the years…from Jane Fonda to Richard Simmons and forward… There HAVE been some pretty strange ones.

I mean, I love Shaun T, but can you picture going to a club and using these moves? Gotta love Ellen…she makes it okay to laugh at yourself….

And actually, when I looked up the Brazilian Butt lift…I could see the appeal…

Hey…fitness is important, so you might as well have fun while you’re doing it. Which crazy workout videos have you bought? Or maybe you just “had a friend” who bought one? Which workouts do you love? Which ones made you laugh more than exercise? No sense in taking the fitness crazes so seriously that you can’t laugh a little… Or share some good ones with awesome online friends….;-)

Gonna Make You Sweat…

Last night I was sitting peacefully talking on the phone with one of my oldest friends, catching up on how her holidays went and finding out if her Monster-In-Law had finally left for good (and what damage she left in her wake). I’d had a pretty productive day. Managed to get an hour long work out it, was debating signing up for my first 5K run.

My pal and I were laughing and talking and wishing she lived nearby again so we could be doing it in person with either a cup of coffee or a glass of wine. Her Monster-In-Law usually required wine.

Coffee or Alcohol

Anyway, hubby came into the kitchen where I was sitting. As he was walking my way, he said, “Lovey, give me a hug” and spread out his arms to envelop me.

Hopping quickly from my perch I began to run away from him in earnest.

“Stay away from me! Don’t touch me,” I huffed as I ran around my dining room table.

“Come on,” he cajoled as he gave chase, “Don’t you love me anymore?”

Hand cradling the phone to my ear, I hollered over my shoulder, “You’re disgusting! Get away!”

“Do I want to know?” I hear my bestie against my ear.

As if he’d heard her, hubby shouts out, “See how she is, Amadiex? Not very loving or wifely, is she?”

“Go finish your work out and leave me alone,” I say as he closed in. My face was scrunched up and turned away from him, shoulders curled in, knees headed towards my chest. Yes…my entire body language said “get away!”

Finally he laughed and headed back to the treadmill.

Turning back to my phone conversation I said, “he is soaked in sweat.”

She laughed, “That can be hot!”

“Not when it’s dripping off him like he’s been standing in the rain, but it’s all work out sweat,” I answered.

Groaning, she answered, “No. That’s definitely not sexy.”

I shook my head, then realized she couldn’t see that through the phone line and answered, “Nope. It’s that nasty, smelly sweat…not the sexy glistening kind. And now you know why I ran like hell!”

She was too busy laughing to answer me.

The reality is, there is a huge difference between a man who looks like he’s been standing out in the rain because he’s been drenched in sweat and a man who’s truly been standing out in the rain… One is sexy…the other needs a shower.

raining man

This picture is sexy… but if the man standing there did not have the rain pouring down on him and was still in that condition…I’d offer to jump in the shower and wash his back. I would not be kissing him until the disgusting amount of sweat was gone.

Of course my puppy is more than happy to kiss him when he’s sweaty…but I think it’s the salt. I love my husband…I’d jump his bones almost any time he wants…but not when he could smother me in his sweat. If I’m going to get sweaty, it will either be self generated…or generated together from doing fun horizontal activities. 🙂

So my question tonight is this…what things do you find that can be sexy under certain circumstances and disgusting under others? Was fitness one of your resolutions? How are you doing with it?

And just to further entertain…you may want to check out my friend Katie’s blog post on “The 5 People You Meet In The Gym” and Natalie’s compelling “Orgasm…Through Exercise???”