Life Isn’t Always Beautiful or Fair

Me and My Girls

It feels like a lifetime ago instead of 8 years. My heart aches for the loss of the beautiful soul taken way too soon. It’s hard to believe that nearly two weeks ago we lost you.

The picture above was one of those rare, magical times where we all seemed to be of the same color coordinated mind and it was too perfect not to convert into a photo op. Now I’m just grateful to have this little memento.

These women and their smiling faces held many of my cherished moments in my memory bank of a prior career. They were all smart, kind, well meaning, and with good hearts filled with kindness. They cherished their families, especially their children.

Imagine my shock when two of the ladies here (and one of the men not pictured) reached out to tell me that the lady in the white blouse standing on the far right was dead. Not only dead, but violently murdered. Shot and killed by her ex in what was being called a domestic violence case.

The response from all of us who knew and worked with her was utter devastation. What about her two young daughters who she used to bring by to show off? The ones she couldn’t stop talking about? They were her whole universe! Her reason for being. What was their world going to be without her? Weren’t they teenagers now? To lose a mom at any time is hard, but in this way during this time? My heart still bleeds for them. I can’t begin to imagine their devastation.

The news reports say she’d finally permanently broken it off and had stopped by the house one last time to get the last thing she’d left behind. Her cat. Because that was a big part of who she was. A lover of animals. She shouldn’t have lost her life.

Truth is, we all remember her ex. I remember thinking he was a bit of an ass and way too possessive. Hot headed, too. But never in a million years did I expect this. I knew they fought sometimes, but I never had any inclination that he had been this violently volatile. So many memories tumble out and I wonder what we missed and if there was anything we could’ve done that might have altered this path and then I realize that those thoughts are pointless.

Live in the here and now. Ache for those left behind, and do what you can to live life. Don’t squander it. In my own way I’ll try to do right by her girls as they deserve to be taken care of and to know that their mom was loved.

And if you are reading this and you are a victim of domestic abuse, know someone going through it, or even suspect it… PLEASE, I’m begging you, reach out for help. Call the Domestic Abuse Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 or check out their website HERE!

Yeah… as if COVID, quarantine, and murder hornets weren’t enough, right? Don’t worry, I’m hurting, but ok. My support system is strong and I’m working both my day job and writing my next novel. What’s been going on in your world?

Positive Self-Talk and Girl Power #InternationalWomensDay2020

I like to think that I’m a strong woman, but even strong women falter. Fortunately for me, I’m also surrounded by a legacy of powerful women beginning with my mom and continuing on in my sister and myself.

It’s a message I was fortunate to be taught at an early age, and as I got older, I began to realize just how important something I’d always grown up with was as I met other people and made friends. Not everyone had my innate confidence and belief in myself. In fact, I started to realize that while I was raised to believe I could do anything and be anything, many of my friends were unsure…and my mission was born.

We women hear so many things about who and what we’re supposed to be. Many of these expectations are unrealistic, but it doesn’t stop us from beating ourselves up or calling ourselves names. How many times have we called ourselves “dummy” or “stupid” or just gotten plain angry at ourselves? And don’t get me started on all the times we apologize whether we need to or not.

That kind of negative self talk has such a strong impact on our psyches. And the thing is, even in the world of romance novels, the wilting violet heroine in need of rescue is pretty common. I’ll be honest, as much as I’ve always loved romance, these were my least favorite characters.

It’s why I gravitated to authors like Julie Garwood and Nora Roberts and the late, great Johanna Lindsey. Their characters were strong, powerful, and empowered women who rescued their men as much as their men did them.

When I began writing I knew I wanted my females to be strong and empowered both emotionally and sexually. I also wanted my female friendships to be the kind I’d been blessed with. Encourage-rs, supporters, and empowerment mongers. Sure, there are haters, but we make the choice if our lives are going to be hater free zones by not allowing that behavior in ourselves or the people we surround ourselves with.

And I make it a personal mission to try to help build up the women around me. To support them. To remind them of their power when they may forget. To be the friend I’d want to have. And to remember that what makes ups great is having faith in ourselves and those around us no matter how bleak a picture the media may try to paint of our world. I truly believe we can create a world we’d want to live in, but it all starts from within us.

Positive self talk is important and powerful. So is the message you put out to those around you. You are important. You are powerful. You matter. I’m grateful to have people like you who stop by and read my love (and self-love) letters.

What message do you want to share with the women in your world? Yes, these messages are important not just today, but everyday…

Happy Valentine’s Day! #BookSale #KUFree

It’s been an incredibly busy week. I got back from Chicago on Monday where we celebrated my amazing nephew’s birthday…

Then it was back to my daily grind…aka the day job that limits my writing time. Hubby, being the sexy, awesome romantic that he is bought me chocolate truffles and chocolate covered strawberries. He know me well…

I don’t need grand gestures. He shows me his love every day with the little things he does to let me know he loves me, supports me, and he listens.

But then I thought about you guys… My awesome loyal readers and friends… You guys deserve some Valentine’s Day appreciation, too! So I made my new book HALF OFF!

💞💞💞GO GET YOUR COPY! 💞💞💞

Putting Words Into Your Characters’ Mouths and Feeling Grateful #NewRelease #AmWritingRomance

As many of you know, I recently released my first full sized novel. So far it’s been well received and I’ve been blown away with gratitude. One of my coolest experiences came from a Facebook book club I’ve been involved with for years.

They chose to make my book their January Group Read, and as a newish author that meant everything. What was really amazing was that they decided to a thread focusing in on their favorite moments and quotes…. I was blown away and way too entertained. Seriously. Just when you start to second guess yourself, moments like these come up. Moments where someone decides to share YOUR writing and you’re both laughing hysterically because it’s both funny and you forgot you made a character say that, but also you realize…that was legitimately a great line! And it builds your confidence.

The quote at the top of this post was the “kick-off” quote coming from Drew, one of the male leads in this book.

Other honorable mentions? How about these:

“That’s what best friends do for each other.” Ty raised an eyebrow. “Did you think that would change just because you’ve smoked my pipe?”

Ty to Drew in A Way With Words

The above quote was in reference to Drew and Ty and their first intimate moment with each other.

“If you think it sounds like an uptight douche bustin’ a nut, I’d say ‘hell yeah’.”

Ty to Drew in response to overhearing someone having sex

This quote in particular had me laughing so hard my hubby asked if I was ok.

“… apparently waiting to show you her tricked out twat.”

Kalina to Drew

This quote was made by Kalina to Drew when they discovered a woman had sneaked into Drew’s bed, complete with decorated lady bits…

What has this taught me? That I’m extremely fortunate to have amazing people in my life who appreciate my snarky dialogue and that sometimes I actually am kinda witty.

What has chasing your dreams taught you? What’s something your friends/tribe done to support you that’s blown your mind?

And if you’re looking for my book link…Click the book cover on the side and it will lead you right to it. BTW, it’s FREE on Kindle Unlimited and check out THIS REVIEW!

Heart Storm

Destroyed, gutted,
Knocked down and weak.
Holding back tears,
And fighting to breathe.
Digging deep for center,
She tamps down her turmoil,
Dons a cloak of inner peace
Slides on her masquerade.
She’s fitted herself for battle,
Fierce warrior to arms,
Unaffected, not untouched,
She battles strong and true,
Sharing hope, giving strength
Even when she’s nearly empty
Unrelenting, ever protecting
Unflinching, she faces loss
Vulnerable, yet powerful
She powers on,
To be the backbone,
A pillar of strength to lean on
For those who own her heart.
She hides away,
They need not see
When she breaks,
The tsunami that sweeps through,
Wrecking her.
Standing amidst destruction
She finds renewal,
Rebuilding herself…
…to start over.

Thankful for Friendships and Feedback

This last year has been a challenge for me. I’ve had a sexy scene written for years, but knew it was incomplete. There was a story marinating around in my brain, but I didn’t feel up to writing it yet.

One thing I’ve learned in my writing journey as that pieces come together when you’re ready. Sometimes this is a mental thing. Sometimes it’s skill development. Either way, I’ve learned to trust my instincts.

With the love and support of my family and critique partners, I finally finished, got my edits completed, and have the book to my awesome Betas….which means….

Release day is COMING SOON! (Like December, soon.)

Several of my author and blogger friends have known what I’ve been up to and have rallied to show their support by offering to share and/or review my book, and I’m so grateful! I could use all the help I can get. So if you’re interested in helping me out, please let me know! I’d be in your debt and thrilled to do what I must in whatever capacity you’d like to help.

Can you tell I’m EXCITED? IT’S MY FIRST FULL SIZED NOVEL!

What are YOU grateful for this year?

Fuck You, Cancer!

Insidious,

You sneak in,

Like a thief,

Unseen.

Entering the body,

Forcing it

To wage war on itself,

Sapping strength,

Muscle and bone,

Like a pestilence,

Stealing health.

And much needed time.

Confusion, devastation,

Questions and doubt…

“Why me, God?”

Or maybe

“Why them?”

Like a vampire,

You suck life and vitality

Leaving behind

A hollow reflection

That reverberates,

Aftershocks of destruction

To crumble

friends and families;

Those left behind,

And think you’ve won.

But that’s the battle,

Not the war.

Some things you can’t

Take.

They belong to the fighters.

The fierce warriors

Who stare you down,

Refusing to let you take

The love they give,

The life they live,

They never back down.

They fight and believe.

They are heroes,

Fortitude and fury

They battle until the body grows

Weary.

They teach…

Love, compassion,

And take back

What you sought to destroy.

For friends, family,

And mankind.

Help and hope–

To restore faith, belief,

And healing.

The beauty of sharing strength

Of loving support,

Of community and humanity,

And remind the world…

It’s not how you die

But how you LIVED!

I lost a dear childhood friend to cancer today after a 6 year battle. Even more, two amazing kids lost a mom and a loving husband lost his wife. A brother lost his baby sister and two parents lost their baby girl.

A year and a half before that, there was my father-in-law. And before that there was another few friends and an uncle…and the list goes on. Cancer has reared its nasty head in nearly everyone’s lives, but the miracle is in their relentless pursuit of life. Of living. Of never giving up, even if their bodies give out.

https://youtu.be/AHZCAcSh7ls

S.H. Timmins is Coming Out of the Shadows

Writing is an amazing thing. It can help to build all the most incredible relationships. A lot like reading can find you some amazing, like-minded friends, sharing a passion for creating stories can do the same thing.

It was actually through a Facebook book club where I met the intrepid S. H. Timmins, author extraordinaire. Heck, these days, we help admin the page together along with two other terrific book lovers.

So, of course, when I learned that her most recent book was coming out, I begged her for a chance to pimp it…and her…to my fabulous friends who follow my blog. And she agreed to honor me with an interview to introduce her to you guys.

Me: When did you start writing? 

S.H.: I have always been writing short stories for my own pleasure, and finally took the leap into independent writing as a career path in 2015.

Me: When did you realize you wanted to pursue this passion professionally? 

S. H.: When did you realize you wanted to pursue this passion professionally?
A: It was my mother who always encouraged me to pursue writing as a profession. I lacked the confidence in my ability, but she always saw the best in me. When she passed away in 2013, I channeled my pain into written words to help cope with the loss. After a year of purging my grief, I found the courage to write my first novel.

Me: I’m so sorry to hear about your mom, but I’m sure she would be so thrilled to know her encouragement made such a huge difference in helping give you the strength to pursue your dreams of becoming an author. Speaking of authors… What authors inspire you?

S. H.: So many authors have inspired my passion for books and reading. Most of my early years were spent reading paranormal and fantasy fiction. Later, I would discover a whole new world of independent authors that opened my eyes to incredible possibilities. Tara Sivec and Emma Chase were the two authors that inspired me to write my first book; a romantic comedy titled, Bent.

BTW, Bent is currently available for $.99, so go ahead and click that link! And her newest book, Lies in the Shadows, just released today! And she’s willing to share her thoughts on her characters with us. How cool is that?

SJTimmins

Me: Tell me what characteristics you love most about your hero & heroine?

S. H.: All my heroines are independent and their own heroes. The heroine in my latest book is brave and resilient. She endures and doesn’t break. Qualities we all strive to nurture in ourselves. I’m not sure what characteristics I love about my hero, but I enjoyed how his character evolved with the story and showed personal growth in the end.

Me: What did you hate most? 

S.H.: I hated having to keep the big twist a secret until the end of the book. It’s not easy keeping a secret.

Me: What was the most difficult part to write in this book?

S.H.: The most difficult parts of any book for me to write are the love scenes. It is hard to make them realistic, yet fantastical. There are only so many words you can use before it becomes redundant and the scenes lose their luster.

Me: What was your favorite part to write in this book?

S.H.: My favorite parts to write in this book were the interactions between the characters. I always enjoy watching them come to life on the pages and how they develop their own personalities.

Me: Wow! Talk about awesomeness. Thanks for stopping by and sharing! Now it’s time to pimp away, lady!


¸.•´¸.•*´¨♡ ¸.•*¨
It’s Live! Available on Amazon and Kindle Unlimited! ✫
¸.•´¸.•*´¨♡ ¸.•*¨
♡ ¸.•´✶

Lies in the Shadows by S.H. Timmins
A Darkest Needs Novel – Book Three

There is a difference between
living and existing.
Sometimes you need to
walk with the nightmares
to find your way back
to the light.
He lied to me.
He lies to everyone,
including himself.
But I know a secret.
He may want to break me,
but he is healing us both.
This is my truth.

Amazon
• US: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07HCDJ261
• CA: https://www.amazon.ca/dp/B07HCDJ261
• UK: https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B07HCDJ261
• AU: https://www.amazon.com.au/dp/B07HCDJ261

And if you want to follow this awesome lady, she can be found on Facebook HERE. Or her Amazon author page HERE.

So please stop by, show Sandra some love…and share in her excitement by congratulating her on her new release!

 

The GirlBoner Goddess, August McLaughlin!

 

August M headshot

Hey everyone! August McLaughlin has been one of my very dear friends for quite some time now. We met through blogging and found very quickly that we had a shared passion for female emotional and sexual empowerment. We need strong, sexual, sensual women! Too often sex has been wrapped up as a weapon or as something bad or negative, and through our own experiences, we’ve found our voices to help.

Girl Boner cover uvSo, of course, when I found out that my girl was putting out a book made for the women we love to embrace and empower, I had to show her some love. As always, she graciously accepted the opportunity to share on my blog. (BTW, you’re going to want to read to the end as there may be an opportunity for YOU there.)

Me: Welcome to theinnerwildkat, August! So glad you could join me! I’m just going to dive in and pick your beautiful brain, ok? Tell us how the GirlBoner brand came to be…(How did you get the inspiration? Where did the name come from?)

August: Like many people, I learned very little about sex and sexuality during my youth. In sex ed, I remember learning a little bit about male sexual pleasure—at least that it existed—and zilch about anything positive for gals. So as soon as I learned what “boner” meant I literally wondered, What about Girl Boners?
Years later, embracing my sexuality helped me heal from a severe eating disorder. Once I’d built a writing career, it felt natural to use my platform to shed light on the type of sexual empowerment that helped save my life and that so many people still stand to gain.

Me: What of the subjects you covered in your book were most eye opening to you?

August: One of the biggest involved the (creepy) history of masturbation—or, rather, how solo play has been viewed and, no pun intended, handled. I want someone to write a thriller about that history one day. It would make an excellent movie! 

Me: We may have to dig deeper into that subject at a later time if you’re willing. But for now, let’s keep going. What did you find most entertaining? Maybe even funny? (Heck, sex can be both amazing and funny, right?) 

August: Heck, yes! Some of my favorite kicks and giggles came from my editor’s notes. I remember one clearly: “Did you mean to say ‘ring around the peenie?’” (I guess you had to be there!) (Also, yes, I did.)

GBR logo 2018Me: What about creating your brand—between your books, your radio show, your blog, BOAW—wowed YOU most?

August: I was stunned to find that I enjoyed blogging. My then agent had suggested it, and I was like, “Write more?” I was already writing articles nearly full-time and working on another novel. But I loved blogging straight away, and far more so when I started breaking the “rules” and focusing on material I felt compelled to explore with the goal of having fun or helping others.
Another biggie was realizing how important connection is to me. Talking with people and sharing others’ stories has become a major passion of mine, and fills in emotional gaps when I’m spending a lot of time in the writing cave.

Me: Looking back, is there anything you might have done differently?

August: There are some technical things I wish I’d done differently, like starting a mailing list straight away. I also went through a rough patch in 2016 and wish I had gotten support sooner. Let both of those be a lesson to anyone reading this: If you have a brand or product, start your list! And always, always take care of you.

Me: You have so many diverse guests on your radio show. Who has been your most memorable interview?

August: Some of the most memorable are the ghost hunter who I interviewed because I wanted to know if ghosts have sex, Tika Thornton, an incredible woman who survived sex trafficking, and my mom, who I never imagined with join me in the Girl Boner studio, but I’m so grateful she has – twice!

Me: I LOVE your mom. I was thrilled when she friended me on Facebook, and I love the bag she made that I won during one of the Beauty Of A Woman events, which leads in quite nicely to my next question. What has been your biggest life lesson through this whole process?

August: Probably that your mission is your reward. I wrote about this on my blog recently, but in short, I initially thought my Girl Boner book would release within a year or two once I launched the blog series—which was many proposals, two agents, multiple rejections and plenty of life ago.
In that time, though, Girl Boner has taken me in directions I hadn’t anticipated and allowed me to learn so much about myself, sexuality and my audience. I’m not sure we writers can write an impactful book without knowing who we’re speaking to on a deep level, especially when it comes to nonfiction.

Me: How has this experience changed YOU?

August: I’ve learned to be a better listener and how important listening is. It’s also given me a profound sense of purpose. It’s so cliché, but Girl Boner really does get me up in the morning most days. I love people so much and it means so much to me to be able to connect with so many wonderful ones and to write and speak about issues so near to my heart.
It’s also forced me to learn patience. My favorite type is the kind we don’t even realize we’re practicing (LOL). When you continue to create content and put forth effort, including efforts to take care of yourself, you don’t feel like you’re waiting around for any particular thing. You can stay hopeful, but also rest easy, knowing you’re doing the thing already.

Me: What’s next for you?

August: I’m kicking of a book launch tour with readings, live Girl Boner Radio recordings and more in Minneapolis, LA, NYC, Las Vegas and hopefully other cities, starting August 11th. I’m really looking forward to mixing and mingling with folks across the country. Between trips, I’ll be working on other-things-Girl Boner from home, with my animal coworkers.

Me: Would you like to share something about the book? (Excerpt, quote, anything?)

August: One of my favorite quotes in the companion book releasing the same day, Girl Boner Journal, came from a random tweet I posted a couple of years ago. I like it because it feels so true and so GB: 



“You know what lowers many women’s libido? Inequality. Repression. Damaging myths. When women rise, so do Girl Boners.”

Me: Well said! And with that, how can we get our hands on one of your hot new books?

August: The book is available for pre-order on amazon HERE. I’m running a little sweepstakes with The Pleasure Chest for anyone who preorders, which people can enter HERE! Thanks so much for having me, Kitt. You’re spectacular. 

Me: August, you’re welcome here anytime! Congratulations and good luck! Also, thanks so much for mentioning me in the book! Sooo HONORED!

Now, it’s time for you guys! What do you think? Any questions for me? August? Feel free! Also, you should really follow this woman. She’s got a ton of amazing knowledge to share if you’re interested. 

Arrogance Breeds Contempt #cockygate #ByeFaleena

If there’s one thing in the world I hate, it’s bullies and mean people.

This is a big world. And it’s hard. There is NO reason or excuse for being nasty or hurtful.

Having said that, I just had to speak out when I saw all the crap going down in the romance world.

Imagine the arrogance it must take for a person to copyright an everyday word and claim it for “branding” purposes. Imagine said author using the apparent inability of her fans to distinguish her works over other authors because they use the same word in the title. Then imagine this same author choosing to go after other authors with the word in their titles and basically serving them with cease and desist orders and threatening litigation.

Seriously?

And if you are/were her fan, how are you not offended? I mean:

  1. She basically called you stupid.
  2. She’s saying you can’t read well enough to recognize her name.
  3. She doesn’t think you’re capable of returning a book once you realize you’ve downloaded the wrong one.

All this, and you’re still willing to be her little monsters running around giving other people 1 star reviews because they have that word in their title or they have books whose characters share names with some of hers? Or if they’ve used the same stock photos in their book covers?

Seriously?

Put on your big girl panties and grow the eff up. You want to be big in this business? Do it by writing amazing books people can’t put down! Do it with class and respect for your peers. Don’t try to shut everyone else down in the hopes that you’ll be the only one left standing, and therefore “succeeding” by default. That’s just crappy.

And if you haven’t heard about this or you don’t know the word? Let Kid Rock educate you….

Yup!

In her ideal world, no one else is allowed to use “Cocky.”

Whew! She must be relieved Kid hadn’t already beat her to it, huh?

And you know what breaks my heart? Some hard working, classy authors have already changed their titles thanks to her strong arm tactics. Even though they have every right to the word.

This is one of those times when readers and writers need to band together to show that this behavior of hers is unacceptable. That trying to undermine other people’s careers and livelihoods is not ok and has not gone unnoticed. That these lesser known authors have our support!

Here’s a LINK to a petition to cancel the Cocky trademark.

One blog, Ana’s Attic Book Blog has already found a bunch of authors that could use a little Love via book buys. Check out her post here on Facebook! https://www.facebook.com/plugins/post.php?href=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.facebook.com%2Fanasatticbookblog%2Fposts%2F975579679266933&width=500

And like her page while you’re at it.

If you want to better understand the situation and how utterly effed up it really is? Check out this very well done Article.

Biotch! You’ve gone too far.

You’re arrogant, not cocky.

Why?

Because, as Kid Rock says, “It ain’t braggin’, mother fucker, if you back it up.” And people who can back it up don’t need the down and dirty tricks that you pulled, chick.

Need proof? Here’s how talent backs it up.

https://www.facebook.com/plugins/post.php?href=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.facebook.com%2Fchantel.seabrook%2Fposts%2F10216215325158677&width=500

That’s class.

What I feel for this stunt?

Contempt.

What do you guys think? Let me know in the comments. I’m randomly picking 5 people to give whichever Cocky book listed on Ana’s page that you’d like. Again, all you have to do is share your thoughts….whatever they may be.