What the Dirty Mind Projects…

If it doesn’t sound familiar to you, good on ya.

Me? I practically wrote that book. I’d apologize, but I’m pretty sure no one would believe I was being sincere.

It’s not like I go out of my way… These opportunities just fall into my lap. I mean, have you ever really listened to announcers for sporting events? I do. And half of what they say is outright naughtiness. And, of course, me being me…I share it on FB or Twitter. Of course, if you’re my friend or follower on either of these formats, I’m not telling you anything you didn’t already know.

I can’t be the only one, right? Those play-by-play guys sound completely pervy?

The knack for finding naughty in the midst of all things innocent is a gift…and happened again the other day at work. Because it happens so often I thought nothing of it until a couple days ago when this happened:

Co-worker: I got a new keychain.

Me: Cool!

Co-worker: Don’t act so surprised. It’s all your fault.

Me: Huh?

Co-worker: Ever since you made that comment about my old one, I can’t un-see it! Plus, I had a tendency to flick it which just made it that much worse.

Me: (laughing hilariously) So what you’re saying is I wasn’t wrong…

Of course, she didn’t comment on that. Well, unless you count when another co-worker mentioned her getting a new key chain which had her blaming me again and telling the other co-worker what I’d told her. The other peer’s response? “Of course she said that….”

You all tell me…

When you look at the above keychain, would you say something like, “Oh how cute! It’s a mini-flogger keychain!” Especially if it were red leather and the person holding it kept snapping her wrist and making the falls dance….?

Sadly, I then had to explain what the word flogger meant…she understood whip better (or maybe I should say ‘worse’). Of course, part of me found that kinda fun, too. Wouldn’t you if you were me?

Obviously I’m still way too entertained by this whole thing, but it had me wondering. When people say “we always have that one friend who…” I know the next part of that statement as it pertains to me will have something to do with either my grammar fetish or my dirty mind. What do people say about you? And what have you ruined for someone else that left you completely amused?

Hey, Stranger! Let Me Introduce Myself… #Hello2016

Hello

Bonjour! I hope everyone’s having a stellar new year so far.

When Anna over at Herding Cats & Burning Soup came up with this idea for a blog hop, I was pretty stoked! Basically, here’s how this one goes. In this hop, we’re to introduce you to fun, quirky things about ourselves and/or our blogs. Not the boring, obvious stuff like I’m an erotica writer who can turn practically anything into innuendo….but more random, surprising, or maybe disturbing things. PLUS, we give stuff away AND a lot of cool authors and bloggers are involved.

Is there anything better than FUN & FREE?

So here goes….

Image courtesy of Karen Shaw at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of Karen Shaw at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

My biggest fear is not blood or guts or gore…. If you want to see me get all weak, girly, and scream like someone murdered me (aka not in the good, orgasmic way)… watch me when I see a frog. I completely lose my dignity. Don’t believe? Read about it….HERE.

I don’t care what anyone thinks. They. Are. NOT. Cute!

Hospital

In a past life I worked for a hospital for several years. The tales I tell are both comical and a bit disconcerting with the strange things people have done…Check it OUT!

On a personal level?

Yup! I AM that girl that pretty much turns everything into a song. This was a little snippet from my wedding day. My sister gave me a hug, and someone said something like…”Awww, look at the sisters…” Which caused me to break into this song, and my sister to chime in. Yes, it’s a family thing. I come by it naturally.

The strange? Cause, ya know…. There had to be the strange, right?

My favorite flip flops and toe rings

My biggest insecurity body image insecurity came from my feet. I hated them with a passion. Felt they were ugly….until I met a foot fetishist who helped me view my feet in a different way. Here’s THAT story.

As for what most consider my most contradictory characteristic? I guess it’s the fact that despite writing ménage erotica, I don’t consider my very outspoken, focused belief in the Freak Flag, letting it fly to contradict my very passionate belief in Christianity and my faith. In fact, I wrote about that, too. It even got me on GirlBoner radio with August McLaughlin.

Anyway…. that’s a bit about me. Now, to tell you what I’m giving away and how to qualify.

I’m feeling generous. I’m giving away 3 books. Two are mine. (Three For All & Four One Night) The third? It’s a project I was honored enough to participate in… all about empowering female sexuality. This is a subject near and dear to my heart. The book? Embraceable: Empowering Facts and True Stories About Women’s Sexuality. They are all in ebook format.

To win, I want you to share something unique and personal about yourself with me. Something that might surprise people, or maybe what you’re passionate about, or which body issues you’ve overcome. It doesn’t matter as long as it’s in the spirit of getting to know each other.

And if you want a chance at more prizes? Check out the link below and visit the other participants!

T is for Tied Up

Image courtesy of adamr at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of adamr at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

I have a fascination for restraints and bondage….

Not on me, mind you. I’m a bit too much of a control freak to ever feel comfortable enough to willingly place myself in someone else’s power. But someone trusting me enough to voluntarily give themselves over into my care? Especially in a sensual manner? What a turn on!

I probably should have noticed when I was younger that I had a thing for being on top, taking my much bigger and stronger boyfriends’ (hello, I’m 5’3″ and only weighed about 105 lbs back then, so of course they were bigger) wrists into my hand and holding them over their head while I kissed them senseless. Yes, even though that immobilization was pretty much voluntary and all about the imagery & sense of helplessness more so than the real deal, it got my juices going.

It may explain why, at the age of 18, I “tied” my boyfriend down with some thumb cuffs. He was 6′ tall and about 160 lbs. of muscle, but he was helpless while I explored his body with my tongue until he begged for mercy. Oh, so much fun.

And then I discovered rope bondage through reading and the internet and became very intrigued. Also known as rigging, it’s both an art and a sexy practice. At least to my way of thinking. It’s one of those items that’s definitely on my “must learn” list.

If you’re interested in experimenting in bondage there are several safety aspects to keep in mind:

  • You may want to consider staying away from ties, scarves, and/or silky materials if your partner loves to struggle against their bindings. These materials will tighten up if you fight your bindings too hard and will tighten, causing circulation to become cut off.
  • Make sure to have some sort of shears/scissors if you’re going to play with clothing or ropes. You never know when you might need to free your partner quickly, and you need to be able to cut through bindings. You can’t guarantee that your partner won’t panic and need a rescue.
  • Have a safe word and don’t be afraid to use it. Both you AND your partner need to trust each other. Bondage requires both that and patience.
  • Bondage is not ideal if one or both parties have been drinking. Tying someone up requires time, patience, and trust. By the way, this is true regardless of what kind of bondage you might indulge in.

There. You have my kink confession. Now it’s your turn. What kink have you always either been curious about or wanted to try? Judgment free zone, right here!

K is for Kinship and Kink

Courtesy of Bitstrips on Facebook

Courtesy of Bitstrips on Facebook

Kink– sex that deviates from the traditional (and potentially boring) missionary position. Okay, so it’s really more than that, but you get my gist.

Like a little ass slapping and hear pulling with your doggie style? There are those that would call that kink.

Like to take charge in the bedroom? Control the play? Make someone beg? Submit to your dark, carnal desires? Yeah, that’s kink, too.

Enjoy a partner in crime in your seduction? Prefer 3 or more people with your seductions?

Preoccupied with anal sex? Seduced by feet?

Heck, there are so many more kinks out there it’s easy to lose track. But one thing is for certain… in the fetish world, there’s an acceptance, understanding, and camaraderie. No judgments.

Which reminds me…. I have always had a thing for bondage, but I’m dying to try my hand at learning rope bondage. I think it’s sexy as hell. Time to start looking for someone to give me rigging lessons. 🙂

It’s actually through my love of kink that I made some of my coolest online friendships…that have blossomed into relationships that I cherish.

It was through our mutual love of kinky books (and sex) that I met the ultra fabulous, Ande Lyons. Thanks to shared interests and conversations, she invited me to guest on her Bring Back Desire site. Here’s one I wrote for her on Exploring Sensual Pleasure With Common Household Items. Through our shared interests, we’ve built a friendship for the ages.

Through blogging I discovered fellow blogger, author, and sexual empowerment advocate extraordinaire, August McLaughlin of Girl Boner. Her passion and desire to educate and help drew me in. Our mutual desire to empower and battle sexual shaming made us pretty much instant friends. One of my biggest thrills was guesting on her Girl Boner radio. If you haven’t checked her out yet, you don’t know what you’re missing! She’s sweet, smart, and savvy.

It was through a mutual friend who noted my love of the “kink and taboo” that I was introduced to one of my dear friends, the ever interesting and intellectual Professor Taboo. It took no time at all for me to become very intrigued with his blog posts. Due to our common ground and mutual love of dialogue, it was no time at all before we were very active in responding to one another’s posts. He’s one of those guys who calls it like he sees it, keeps it real, and lives his life unapologetically. The fact that we joke about what kind of clash for dominance would ever occur is just icing on the cake. 😉

Between Twitter, Facebook, blogging, and writing it was only a matter of time before Anna of Herding Cats and Burning Soup blog and I became friendly. In fact, despite the fact that we had connected through social media, it wasn’t until a mutual friend told me about her shared Facebook group, The Kinkery, that we really interacted with any sense of frequency. She’s a woman with a reading fetish for pierced cock, great dialogue, and sexy book covers. And then there’s the fact that she’s pretty no holds barred about what she’ll welcome on her blog. Is it any wonder I think she rocks? By the way, she’s also the one who talked me into this A-Z challenge.

Yep! There’s a distinct kinship that is created when mutually open minded and adventurous people come together. What things have you found bond you together with fellow bloggers or internet friends? What kinks do you enjoy? Is there something your dying to learn more about? Share! Who knows? I may even be able to help point you in the right direction…

A is for Anal Appeal

pooper21

This picture cracked me up…. but all kidding aside, it seems I’ve always had a fascination for anal play. Long before I’d even tried it. (Yes, with a personal philosophy that I’ll try anything once…and more frequently if I enjoy it, it was only a matter of time.)

When I was younger I giggle-snorted when I heard that some girls, mostly from super strict, religious families, gave up their asses to preserve their “virginity.” Convoluted, yes… But accurate in the most technical sense of the word. Yeah, their hymens were untainted, so they could still come to their marriage beds and claim “pure.” But who was I to judge. Truth is, up until that moment, I don’t think I ever considered anal play a thing.

And yeah. It sounded uncomfortable, but after my attention was drawn, I realized that lots of guys I knew seemed to have a preoccupation with getting into that part of the anatomy, and it wasn’t solely about anal play being taboo. I mean, c’mon…. Guys, no girl is naïve enough to believe the “oops! My cock is directionally challenged. It really didn’t mean to try to slide into that hole.” Can you really blame the women who have retaliated with the “if you want my ass, I get to take yours first” challenge?

Still, it was unsanitary, right? More so than oral sex. Why did so many seem to want to get up in there? So I asked my guy friends. Turned out most of them hadn’t gotten there, but they’d heard it was extra tight and porn had made it seem like a pretty cool place to enter. Needless to say, this wasn’t a good enough answer for a young and curious Kitt. More research was definitely needed.

Oddly enough, while the boys were right, that wasn’t what really revved my engine. Nope. What did it for me was discovering the power of a prostate massage. As strong as a G-spot orgasm? Really? Yum! There’s a lot of power and trust exchanged with being able to help a guy explore that kind of pleasure. So why not?

And for women… Do you realize how many nerve endings there are in that area? The first time my salad was tossed (anal stimulation via the tongue), I became a believer. The trick is to build a person up to the pleasure. Make sure they’re prepared via lubrication and stretching…maybe start with fingers (one first, then another, and move them to scissor and stretch). Or if it’s available, anal plugs or other toys designed to stimulate and stretch that tight muscle. If you’re the giver, make sure your partner (if they’re a newbie) breathes out and tries to relax as you breach for the first time. It gets easier. It feels better. And a little manual stimulation or sensual distraction helps, too.

What you don’t do is what inevitably happens the first time and sours beginners on the whole act if they’re not very adventurous. As noted above, the “oops, I slipped method” is more likely to both land you in the doghouse and in the “never again” category. No prep is also no good. It’s tight. A bit painful. Makes almost anyone but a masochist want to forget they’d ever tried it and say no for the next time. Don’t assume that the only workable position for anal is doggie style.

The bottom line is this. Anal sex can be just as intimate and powerful as any other types of sex, and just as fun. So now I’m curious…. Have you tried anal sex? What do you remember about the first time you’d heard of or tried it? Is it on your “yes, please” or “no thanks” list?

Condoms, Kinks, and Hijinks

Have you ever wondered what your friends think of you? Well, yesterday gave me a dose of hilarity while answering what my pal, Jenny Hansen (of the More Cowbell fame) thinks of me…or at least where she thinks my mind is most of the time. She tagged me on Facebook with the following image and this message:

Kitt, I just laughed my butt off. I ran a search for you to catch up on your posts and here was the result. I about fell off my chair. LOL.”

Courtesy of Jenny Hansen

Courtesy of Jenny Hansen

I admit it. I giggle snorted immediately…because the first thing that drew my eye was what drew hers.

What can I say? Sex comes up a lot when I’m around. But only in the best possible way. As you’ve probably noticed by the post titles, there’s also not much I won’t talk about.

Which actually leads right into the whole condoms and kinks portion.

As a few of you might remember from my piercings post, I am in a private facebook group where the members love to read and talk kink of all sorts. There are no judgments, you can ask questions, you can talk fetishes…and share the hottest, sexiest reads you’ve discovered with likeminded individuals.

My pal, Anna, from Herding Cats and Burning Soup threw out a question to the group a week or two ago surrounding fetishes. She asked the group what specific fetishes they loved to read about. Not authors. Kinks. Mine were easy…and not much of a shock to those who’ve read my books because a lot of it is also what I enjoy writing. I LOVE M/M/F ménages, especially if there’s some bisexual play between the guys. I also love D/s power exchanges (and I’m not gender specific on who wields the whip). I’m also hugely intrigued by rope bondage, specifically shibari, and think I’d like to take a class to learn how. Heck, Fet-con in Tampa is only a hop-skip-and-a-jump away. Maybe I should sign up.

Anyway, as often happens with this group, things devolve into hilarity…and this time it was all about a condom. As some of you know, bare backing can be considered a kink if/when you’re involved in what folks may consider a “risky” lifestyle. (For those of you wondering, bare backing is another word for unprotected sex.) Anna pointed out that in these books the heroes are usually quite big players at the beginnings of these books until they meet their “soul mates.” So, for her, condoms are a must. Then she went on to lament that although most of her favorite authors use condoms in their stories, she’d love a little variety…like glow in the dark. When she said that, my brain responded with “challenge accepted.”

This, of course, got me thinking. Sex and fantasies. What type of fantasies get you hot under the collar? Are you a ménage person, like me? Does the idea of exhibitionism get your furnace fired up? Or maybe it’s roleplay games. You know. The naughty college student caught cheating on the test by teacher. Or the been caught speeding one where you have to talk the big, bad officer out of writing you that ticket so your license doesn’t get suspended. Yeah… there are all sorts of options.

And as for that condom challenge? Yeah…. I’ve promised her Glow-in-the-dark in NEON GREEN, of course! But ya’ll know me. I like to push the envelope. I fully anticipate a sort of Lightsaber theme and “crossed swords.” Anyone have any color recommendations? LOL!

Also, I’ve got to send a huge THANK YOU to my incredible pal, August McLaughlin. She introduced me to the folks at Sexual Wellness News, and they’ve hired me to write the occasional article for them! My first one was just posted at the end of last month and it’s all about How to Rev Up Your Sex Life! Please go over there, check it out, along with the other awesome articles (August is one of their contributors), and share the love!

That’s Not My Kink

We’ve all heard the saying “different strokes for different folks.” All a person has to do is look around to see the factual reality of that saying. So why does it seem like such a difficult thing to accept and acknowledge when referencing sex? Some of you may be ready to reject the notion out of hand, but hold on for a second while I state my case.

Over the years I’ve come across some pretty interesting sexual kinks/preferences. Many of them are fairly common. Some like to get their hair pulled or their bottoms spanked or both. Some like to be the spanker/hair puller. Some of us have exhibitionist streaks. As the girl who confessed to road head and more, obviously I fall into this category, though there are those who prefer the tamer “accidental” peep shows. Our counterparts are the people who get intensely excited by watching…or voyeurs. Of course there’s also bondage (those who like to tie up, and who like being tied up). I was 18 the first time I restrained someone in a sexual way.

Yes, a lot of the above also incorporates the power exchange that happens when the person’s desire it to yield submission to another person who is into taking control. Sometimes standing alone (no power exchange) or also falling into this world (when power exchanges are incorporated) are the folks who enjoy more than one partner at the same time.

Also surprisingly popular are foot fetishes. For some that means admiring and worshipping pretty toes. For others, it goes deeper. Some love the earthy smells of sweaty feet. Others wish to give foot massages or bathe those dirty feet with their tongues. Others simply want to paint those toenails or have those dainty feet walk all over their bodies (sometimes in high heels).

Some people have more exotic tastes.

I remember talking to one young lady who was fixated on having sex in church sanctuary. Not gonna lie, I’ve done it in the parking lot, but I draw the line at actually entering a “house of God” for copulation purposes. Of course, it would stand to reason that my personal beliefs probably play a part in my discomfort. It may have worked for her, but it definitely wasn’t my cup of tea, but that was okay. That was her thing, not mine.

One woman, a female dominant, I’d become friendly with once shared with me how she had somehow become entranced checking posteriors; putting on surgical gloves and “cleaning them up.” Oddly enough, she was a nurse and thus qualified to go rooting around back there. I admit, the image wasn’t something I cared to keep in my mind. Again, like before, it wasn’t for me, but that was fine.

Many of us have heard of golden showers. Some have even assumed that this couldn’t possibly be a “real” thing. I mean, who would get into the various areas that this sort of play delves into? But it’s real. In fact, it’s as real as cross-dressing or people who enjoy wearing diapers and treated like babies. Heck, even CSI featured a fetish where everyone dressed up like a stuffed animal.

So if there are so many parts of sex that are less than vanilla, why is it that people seem to struggle with acceptance? Is it really so hard to simply say “It’s not my kink” and let it go? No judgment, no disdain. Just a simple acknowledgement that what works for one person may not work for the next and leave it at that.

For that matter, why do people struggle so hard to deny the things that excite them rather than acknowledge the truth and create a fulfilling sex lives for themselves in their relationships? Why do they hide their interests, deny what draws them and pretend it doesn’t exist? Why do their desires become a shameful secret rather than something they communicate with their partner(s)?

My dear friend, Professor Taboo, recently asked me in the comments portion of his Expectations post a question that I’ve been thinking a lot about. “Whether we get or not what we seek from others, is it reasonable to EXPECT the type of open, authentic, proactive communication…and as you pointed out, expecting that level communication whether there were sexual experiences or not? Is the real issue sexual experiences!?”

I thought it was a great question, and the only thing I could come up with for both the way we react to people whose desires deviate from ours as well as from the passions we refuse to acknowledge within ourselves is that we allow fear in.

When faced with others whose desires/kinks vary from our own, it’s easy to point a finger and criticize. “That’s disgusting” “That’s unnatural” or “That’s so wrong” are judgment phrases that often escape the lips of those who can’t or don’t share the same interests. Why? Unless it’s illegal or partners are unwilling, WHY should we care or judge? Why is simply acknowledging that it’s not your thing and moving on so difficult to do?

And if something does intrigue us? I suspect it’s fear that causes us to deny our true natures/desires. What if someone finds out? What if they judge me (often the way I’m judging everyone else)? What if I truly am weird or sick for wanting something besides missionary sex?

It occurred to me as I considered this issue… This is a lot like our tastes in partners. Everyone has different “types”. In fact, half-Asian me has never been attracted to Asian men…and am very picky when it comes to black men that I find sexy. Heck, I laugh all the time at how specific my parents’ types are. My mom likes her men blond with blue eyes. My dad? He likes them Filipina. How do I know that? Because those traits are traits that followed them both into their second marriages.

My mom would tell you that she always knew I’d marry a “latin based” type. Why? Because she said I’d always been attracted to Hispanics, Italians and Greeks; not that I didn’t date my fair share of WASPs, but the majority of the guys who caught my eye were either dark hair and eyes or dark hair and blue eyes. Heck, some would call the attraction to people in uniforms or dangerous jobs or with tattoos a type, too.

Variety is the spice of life. There are a ton of different flavors out there… in ice cream, drinks, cultures, appearances, sexual preferences. No one type is better than the other. There is no right or wrong (well, unless we’re talking illegal). There’s simply what works for you.

Am I making sense? Am I crazy? What’s the most unusual kink you’ve heard of or seen? Do you have a “type” of person you’re attracted to? I’d love to know what you’re thinking…

I’ll close this with a bit of humor….and share what happens when a fantasy goes a bit “off”.

3 Years, Leather and 50 Shades

My husband and I have a quirky sense of fun. From prior blogs you know that on our second anniversary (cotton) he bought me a “gag” gift of cotton balls. By the way, I kept those cotton balls. They’re useful. So this year it was my turn to get quirky. How appropriately funny that as I’m delving back into writing (and I have romantic and erotic tendencies in my writing) our 3rd anniversary lands on leather.

First thought that came to my mind? Buy him a leather cock ring. Adjustable, of course. Great gag gift…and who knows…could even be fun! Hey, we’re married and can play that way. Now most of the time if I were looking to buy a toy I may go online or host a pleasure party. Less awkwardness and embarrassment for women this way. But this was a last minute, spur of the moment “gag” gift idea.

So here’s the thing about Florida…and those of you who live here can attest. I have never seen so many strip clubs, adult book stores (aka porn shops) or bail bonds places as I did when I moved here. In Chicago there was a Starbucks on practically every corner. Around here, it’s these kinds of places. In fact, once I moved here I was helping a friend search for a job. It was in Florida that I saw “dead beats need not apply” for the first time in a want ad. (I know, I know. And I’m still here, right?)

Being female, I’ve found it’s less awkward if you bring a male friend with you to an adult book store, so I called up a buddy and he came with me.

The guy working the desk was the typical perv you’d expect to see at one of these establishments. He was large, with a rotund belly, stained shirt, balding and with one of those big hooking piercings through the center portion of his nose. Not exactly someone I’d be asking for sex toy advice from unless I wanted to take 10 showers after. Then again, he fit his environment. The place was dark and seedy looking. Nothing about the place said classy or inviting.

When we walked in he ignored us, allowing us to shop. Their selection in leather products was extremely limited. They did, however, seem to have a large quantity of blow up dolls or body parts that claimed to be replicas of porn stars. No big deal. I was kind of relieved. He didn’t even check for ID.

Not thrilled with my search, I was about to head out when I saw two women walk in. They were giggling together and talking. He stopped to say hello to them. He asked what they were looking for. I was surprised! This was the first sign from him that he knew what customer service was! I almost felt sorry for the women. The one lady admitted that she was buying her friend a toy as a gift for her birthday. He asked if she’d read 50 Shades Of Grey. He then proceeded to tell them that they had a special promo where if you bought all 3 books from the series you got 50% off a paddle.

When they mentioned that it wasn’t what they were looking for and that they’d already read the book he proceeded to get inappropriate. “Come on,” he cajoled, “You know you want to get spanked. It’s every woman’s fantasy! I’ll even help you pick it out.”

Ok, he’d just stepped past the creepy line to obnoxious. That poor young woman was disgusted and embarassed. It was written all over her face. She would never be stopping there again. Fortunately, her friend was much older and put the guy in his place. Irritated, I took this as my cue to leave…before I said something equally offensive to this guy.

As my friend and I started to walk for the door, he finally spoke to us. “Not buying anything today?”

My mouth tightened over what I wanted to say. I opted for a very safe, “Nope.” and continued to head for the door.

“What were you looking for?” he asked, suddenly persistent.

I rolled my eyes at my friend as I pushed the door open, “Nothing you have here.”

It finally occurred to me. He hadn’t spoken to me or anyone else in there initially because we’d come in with guys. The two women came in sans men…that was why he’d harrassed them. Well, on to the next adult shop we went.

This one had a woman working the desk. She greeted us the moment we walked through the door despite the fact that she was on the phone. The place was brighter and less seedy looking. In fact, despite the fact that the windows were blocked out to protect the privacy of the shoppers, it was decorated like a nice little boutique.

Immediately I noticed they had a better leather selection. They several different leather floggers, different crops, leather collars along with the cock rings. One of the little paddles even had naughty carved into it. 😉 This place seemed more fun!

The lady on the phone got off her call as quickly as possible and stepped around the counter. “What can I help you find today?” she asked in a friendly voice.

I explained that it was our leather anniversary and I was trying to find a fun gag gift. She immediately got into the spirit of the search. She thought it was great that we played these games. When I commented about how she had a lot of leather, she said she was actually running low. In fact, she said that due to 50 Shades Of Grey the floggers and paddles were selling like hotcakes. We laughed.

I mentioned that the guy at the store down the street had been trying to peddle the stuff to his last customers and that he’d mentioned some sort of bundle promo.

“Well,” she said, “he probably overbought on the books after he heard about how popular they were and now he can’t get them sold.”

I nodded.

Cocking her head to the side she asked me, “Did you read the books?”

I shrugged. “Nope. By choice. Especially after several of my friends told me about it.”

She raised an eyebrow, curious. “Why not?”

“I have issues with the message the book sends,” I answered. “Don’t get me wrong, I have no issue with BDSM. I love authors like Cherise Sinclair and Joey W Hill. They are very good about getting the Safe, Sane and Consentual vibe across while maintaining a strong story with Alpha males and strong, vibrant females.”

She nodded. “Yeah. When all the hoopla started about 50 Shades I was curious and decided to check them out. I bought 2 copies of each book. One was supposed to be for me. The second was for sale. I took it on vacation with me and read it on my flight. I didn’t like the message either.”

I laughed. “You mean the one where the guy loses control, spanks his girl and …voila! Kink?”

Nodding, she said, “Exactly. And that girl was a wuss! A pushover. They don’t have any concept of what true BDSM is about. And with all these people out there suddenly exploring this stuff I should be happy. Instead I’m concerned. They don’t know what they’re doing. They don’t understand that this could get dangerous. Worse, they don’t know about safe words. It was never mentioned in the book.”

I shuddered. “I knew about the whole girl had only been kissed twice till her experience with Grey. And that she had 5 orgasms during her first time.” You could hear the scoffing disdain in my voice loud and clear. “And that he managed to give her those orgasms with no oral sex.” Yeah…we both snickered at that one. “But I hadn’t realized that safe words were never even discussed. I did know about the losing control bit. I wasn’t ok with that, either. A Dom MUST be in control. How else can he take care of you?”

She nodded. “Exactly. I own 3 adult shops. I’ve participated in some of the BDSM shows and events up in Tampa. Believe me. It’s not a game. It’s hot as hell…the real deal, but done incorrectly it can be downright scary. I keep encouraging these 50 Shades experimenters to try their hand at light bondage and blindfolding first before they go for the paddles and whips. Especially since they usually get the cheap stuff. It’s safer. And this way they can figure out what they like with minimal danger.”

The funny thing was, she’d already grabbed the adjustable cock ring I’d been looking at and walked me to the counter while we had this discussion. She was a fantastic sales person. I really liked her. She wasn’t in it strictly for the bottom line. She cared about her customers and her safety. I knew I’d be recommending friends to visit her store….especially my female ones.

And then, as only an aspiring writer can, I networked…LOL! I explained to her that I was working on writing, and someday down the line I may need her expertise. I asked if she’d mind if I stopped in and picked her brain sometime. She laughed and welcomed me with open arms. She’s usually in that particular store on Fridays, Saturdays and Sundays. So now, if I have questions on sex toys, BDSM or other areas, I have a fun source of info!

Oh, the things I do to hone my knowledge of this craft… Such a hardship! LOL!