Halloween Brings Out the Rocky Road in Vanilla

Isabella, my Skele-pup wishing you a Spooktakular Halloween

Isabella, my Skele-pup wishing you a Spooktakular Halloween

Before I get to talking (cause we all know I can do that quite well), I hope you all had a Boo-tiful day. Also, I won a writing contest on Marcia Richards’ blog! Ya’ll should check her out. She’s awesome and uplifting, both.

As holidays go, this one is a fun one. In fact, next to Christmas, it’s my hubby’s favorite holiday and with good reason. Halloween is FUN! What’s not to like? You suspend reality for a while. You get to pretend to be someone else, hang out with supernatural characters, knock on strangers doors and expect to receive sweet treats!

And then it hit me! Halloween is the holiday where Vanilla people get a chance to explore their inner Rocky Road. If those of us who don’t tend to live on the vanilla side of the bed think about it, this isn’t really a shocking revelation.

Let’s look more deeply at this holiday for a little bit. The obvious place to begin is in the sexy costumes that allow you to be someone else. To role play. Become your inner bad girl or sexy vamp. Heck, there are visual encouragements everywhere these days! Here’s an ad from Party City. Click the link! Take a look for yourself…

Sexy costumes from Party City

Sexy costumes from Party City

Playful, flirty…. And not much different than the sexy, flirty role play costumes that Fredericks of Hollywood offers! Well, except for the Fredericks ones are usually a bit more risqué and better quality. Hey, I know, thereof I speak. What can I say? I couldn’t resist their sexy French maid costume eons ago. Check out some of what they have to offer!

Sexy Fredericks of Hollywood Costumes

Sexy Fredericks of Hollywood Costumes

Even the vanilla folk have been known to become sexy witches or cheerleaders or harem girls. Me? I’ve been a China doll, Pocahontas, Tina Turner, Catholic Schoolgirl, and Hawaiian hula girl!

So that one’s easy. We all know how I love masks…

Yes, that's me... in a mask...

Yes, that’s me… in a mask…

Consider the impact…. Look at those costume parties and masquerades that happen. Tell me that part of the fantasy isn’t the opportunity to be completely anonymous and maybe mistaken for someone else prompting some sort of illicit behavior, excused away by “mistaken identity”. Maybe it hasn’t actually happened. Maybe it has! But isn’t that part of the fantasy?

I know what you guys are thinking… But Kitt, what about the scary part?

Decoration at the front of my house

Decoration at the front of my house

Things like decapitated vampire heads or spooky houses….

The bloody lady (triggered by motion sensor) that crawls out from under my car

The bloody lady (triggered by motion sensor) that crawls out from under my car

Or Haunted Houses or theme parks like Halloween Horror Nights by Universal or Howl-O-Scream by Busch Gardens and Sea World.

What makes them so popular with men and women alike? For a lot of guys it’s pretty simple. They enjoy that one time of year where they get to bow up and prove what manly men they are by A) not being scared B) by protecting their lady loves and C) women (sometimes strangers) squeal and jump into their arms.

But there’s another aspect… When a person becomes scared or excited by real or imagined threats, they experience an adrenaline rush. Most of us have been there at some time or another. We remember our accelerated heartbeat, our muscles tightening up, our elevated energy levels as our fight or flight responses are triggered. On a technical level? Adrenaline is another word for the hormone epinephrine, the same epinephrine that’s triggered by exercise and can help the metabolism as well as mood.

So what does this have to do with the not so Vanilla, you ask? Do you REALLY think it’s a coincidence that capture fantasies including women being chased by burglars caught in the act, barbarians, werewolves or other things that go bump in the night are so popular and known to induce the same general feeling as those haunted houses? Heck, it’s actually not that uncommon to take it a bit further toward the submission/dubious consent fantasies as August McLaughlin discusses on her blog. There, she interviews a doctor who explains how this can be beneficial and healing.

Another aspect of the Rocky Road (the word I’m choosing to represent the non-Vanilla folk) that is explored during this season by folks who don’t usually dip their toes into this end of the pool? The “mind fuck”. This can be something simple.

For example. Picture a bedroom set up for romance. Imagine being tied to a four poster bed, then smelling the sulfuric smell of a match being ignited and the scented candle at the side of the bed being lit. Maybe you’d talked about hot wax, so you expect to feel that slight burning drizzle against your skin. Your anticipation is heightened. When you finally feel the burn on your skin, it takes a moment for your brain to register that what you’re feeling isn’t hot at all, but the intense cold of an ice cube. Yes, that’s a fairly tame one, but it gives you the idea.

Isn’t a spooky haunted house where you expect someone to jump out at you….and then no one comes…until you let your guard down and get comfortable again pretty much the same thing? By the way, if you decide to experiment with a couple of the above mentioned scenarios, talk to your partner first. Set some parameters. Make sure there’s a safe word in place. It will keep you both from going too far out of your comfort zone into something you’ll regret. After all, often, with dubious consent, part of the fun is “fighting back” and saying “no”, though you really don’t mean it. It’s important for you both to have a word that lets all parties involved know you’re serious and that you either need to stop and discuss or completely end the scene.

Yes, Halloween is the holiday for exploration of our darker, wilder, baser sides with minimal judgment…

What do you guys think? What kinds of costumes have you worn over the years? Ever had something scary, sexy or downright naughty happen to you unexpectedly on Halloween? Anything else I may have missed? (Hey, it happens!)

Randomness and the Soapbox I Never Thought I’d Stand On

There have been some pretty interesting things that have truly entertained me lately, and I thought I’d share….

Some tickled my Funnybone…..

Saw this one on Twitter:

I’m pretty sure you can guess where my brain went. Could. Not. Help. It. Self control in the face of innuendo and naughty thoughts is just asking too much of me.

Then there’s this one…

As many of you know, I’m a die hard Cowboy fan, so the irony that an Eagles fan in a commercial cracks me up is not lost on me… Maybe it’s the fact that my step-dad is a celiac and this is pretty much a staple and he badly mispronounces it… Or maybe it’s the fact that some equally ignorant eagle fan thinks it might be a loofah, but regardless…I giggle every time.

Then there’s the SEXY/FUNNY combo….

This one is a bit older for me, but I loved how these military men who were stationed in Afghanistan decided to show their appreciation to the Miami Dolphin cheerleaders for their Call Me Maybe video. The guys look like they’re having fun…and some of them are not only hot, they know how to shake it! Why don’t you be the judge? Do you have a favorite?

If you haven’t liked Bring Back Desire on facebook yet, why not? I figured since it’s also Breast Cancer Awareness Month it was the perfect time to share this message. Check out this breast screening reminder that was posted on her page! Watch till the end or you’ll miss when the real fun begins.

For Empowerment and Natural Beauty….

I found this particular post on Where’s My Sammich to be totally fantastic… How to draw b00bies. I spotted my set right away. 😉

My blogger buddy Laura Hilger did on vulnerability and change post that included a video by Brene Brown that…if you have 20 minutes…will blow you away.

Marcia Richards wrote a post about Mothers and Daughters that had one of the best analogies I’ve ever seen…and some awesome life lessons she hopes she instilled in her daughter. I have a funny feeling she succeeded. 🙂

The song stuck in my head….

Just a warning…this song is stuck in both me and hubby’s heads…and it’s the unrated version, so it’s got some lady parts showing. I don’t care what people say… Robin Thicke may be a bit of a dirty boy…and on the naughty side, but there’s no doubt in my mind that he’s probably fun to hang out with. He looks so much like his dad, Alan Thicke, doesn’t he? (maybe a smidge hotter, but definitely…great genes)

My Soapbox Moment…

Okay. I can’t even believe I’m going to there, but I’m going to weigh in on the whole Miley Cyrus drama. Yeah, yeah…I’m not a huge fan of her twerking. I wasn’t a huge fan of “Who Let The Dogs Out”, either, but no one said anything about hacks guys who became famous for barking. In fact, everyone went around barking.

Of course they were one hit wonders, so maybe Akon is a better example. After the minor and initial uproar about Akon making the unwise choice to dry hump a minor onstage at one of his concerts, all was forgiven and not much more was said. I won’t even get into all the things R Kelly has done and how although people gossip and titter behind their hands, no one is calling him talentless or a hack. These instances seem to be treated with a dismissive shrug and a “boys will be boys” mentality.

Miley dances provocatively and everyone is in an uproar because she used to be a Disney kid. She wasn’t doing much more than what either of the two above guys did. She was dancing some lame dance that the kids today are acting like they invented (when really, it’s been around forever, just never named…that I know of). So because of that she’s got mental issues? She’s vilified? She’s on the edge? On drugs?

A commentator on one of the college football pregame shows a couple weeks ago asserted that she was basically a talentless hack… My bet is his only exposure to her or her music was with the recent music award debacle and what he’s heard through the scandal rags. I saw another article where she expressed her admiration for her godmother, Dolly Parton. In the comments, folks said things about her not even being fit to say Dolly’s name. Really?

Personally, I’m starting to feel sorry for this kid. Growing up in the spotlight is not easy.  I’m not going to judge. She hasn’t done anything many people her age do, spotlight or not! How many young people do you know that danced provocatively? I WAS one of those kids. How many young people cut their hair into wild styles and color it? I knew folks that colored their hair purple, blue and green!

In fact, I’ll hope this is a phase she’s going through…much like many child stars. Heck, Alyssa Milano & Tiffany posed for Playboy. Elizabeth Berkeley did Showgirls. Hillary Duff kissed a girl on Gossip Girl. The list could go on and on…. Personally, I don’t think any of us should be casting any stones. Very few of us haven’t done anything in our youth that we look back on with regret….and regardless of how you may feel about her personally, there’s no question that she’s chock full of talent. She even comes by it honestly. She inherited it!

Check this song out and then try to tell me this girl has no talent… By the way, this is both acoustic and outdoors…

So what about you guys? Any soap boxes you want to step on? Any songs stuck in your head? Anything that’s gotten you hot under the collar or empowered you? Maybe there’s something that made you laugh this week…. Tell me all about it!

Reach Out And Touch…Thank You!

I would first like to thank Eunice from Living And Lovin’ for nominating me for my 5th Blog Of The Year 2012 Award. It has been a huge honor to be nominated. I have been using this as an opportunity to thank the people who have been kind and supportive to my blog throughout the year. They are a wonderful group of people with awesome blogs in their own right…so this is kind of a Thank You and Happy Holiday card all rolled into one. (Just so you know, I DO have my 6th star…but I’m doing this one nomination at a time to do justice to the person who has been generous enough to nominate me!

Blog of the Year Award 5 star jpeg

 

The ‘rules’ for this award are simple:

  1. Select another blog or other blogs who deserve the ‘Blog of the Year 2012’ Award;
  2. Write a blog post and tell us about the blog(s) you have chosen – there’s no minimum or maximum number of blogs required – and ‘present’ them with their award;
  3. Include a link back to this page Blog of the Year 2012’ Award at the Thought Palette and provide these ‘rules’ in your post (please don’t alter the rules or the badges!)
  4. Let the blog(s) you have chosen know that you have given them this award and share the ‘rules’ with them
  5. You can now also join our Facebook group – click ‘like’ on this page ‘Blog of the Year 2012’ Award Facebook group and then you can share your blog with an even wider audience
  6. As a winner of the award – please add a link back to the blog that presented you with the award – and then proudly display the award on your blog and sidebar … and start collecting stars…

I hope you take the time to get to know these amazing people whom I’ve had the privilege to get to know over the past few months.  Wow…has it really been only 5 months since I started this blog?  Amazing.  You guys have made me feel so welcome that I feel as though we’ve been hanging out here together forever!

So, without further ado…Here are the next amazing set of bloggers who deserve a little of your time and attention purely because they are beyond awesome!

Jane Sadek– A lovely Christian woman who has a beautifully, ethnically diverse home…and blogs accordingly with snippets of her travel, her faith and her love for family and friends. Did I mention she’s also a poet? I love how interactive and friendly she is…and open to so many different points of view. You’ve got to see the gorgeous pics that go along with some of her stories of her trips! This particular one made me miss being in Asia!

Stephyy- Miss Pretty Little Dreamer, herself… She’s smart, she’s crafty, she has some good recipes…but even better are her hopes for the future! I’m not simply saying this because she’s another Filipina…I’m saying it because she shares it all on her blog. You should check it out!

Wordsurfer- From Cresting The Words. Her knowledge in so many areas is interesting…  She’s been going through a lot lately and still finds time to share her thoughts, drop by your blog for visits and work on her book. Her story about her grandmother will touch your heart…she speaks with fank honesty and clarity in her sense of self.

Dace– She writes The Long Way Home. She is so positive and upbeat. She looks for the best in things… Her thoughtful posts and wonderful ideals make her such a very interesting person to read.

Nick- From Shit Talkin’ Nick. He’s one badass dude who says what he thinks, hands out Douche Of The Week awards…and receives the loyalty of many people in the blog world because of his candor. He’s an advocate for keeping children clothed and protecting pets…what’s not to like?

August McLaughlin– Newly Self Published Author and Girl Boner Expert extraordinaire! She’s beautiful (inside and out), talented, an advocate of women… Seriously…What’s not to like? And if you haven’t read any of her Girl Boner Posts…I’ve linked one of them in so that you can check her out!

Marcia Richards– An Author friend who will challenge and inspire you to be the best person you can be. She will challenge you to give of yourself, to take pride in your country…and Ladies…she’ll challenge you not to lose your inner feminine beauty simply because we’ve joined the workforce!

Thank you for inspiring me, challenging me and encouraging me!

Claiming Christmas (with a little help from my friends)

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No post yesterday…I know, bad of me. Usually I give warnings if I’m going to miss. Unfortunately, duty called. Anyway, still in El Paso, so I’m missing my family. As I sat at breakfast this morning, I started looking at pictures of Christmases past and thought I’d share. The above picture is my oldest girl, Isabella…she is such a tolerant girl. She sat with those antlers on her head so we could take pictures and didn’t even try to take them off.

You know who else is great? Hubby! For Christmas a couple years ago he got me this awesome holiday dish set so we could entertain friends and family in festive fun. He knows my entertainer spirit so well! Of course my friend, Natalie, has a hubby with some pretty interesting gift ideas, too!

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On the subject of gifts, my buddy Marcia also has some great ideas on how to help our deficit & economic issues while shopping for the holidays. In fact, I’m taking her up on the challenge and trying it, myself! Care to join us?

As I sat in my hotel lobby, enjoying the fireplace and thinking about different holiday traditions over the years, I came across my friend, Mae’s post on Mythical Monday about Yule logs! It was like she was psychic and knew where I was while I was busy being homesick!

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The thing is, usually hubby decorates the outside for Christmas and I decorate the inside….including putting up the tree. Well, he sent me a picture of outside…

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And he told me that he’s already put up the tree, too, since we’re not sure how long I’ll be away from home. He even volunteered to write out the Christmas cards! He also mentioned something about baking Christmas cookies! I know it’s sweet, but part of me is a bit sad. To comfort myself, I’ve been looking at unique Christmas Tree Ideas for the book lover. It did help me to re-find my smile. Here’s a pic of our tree from Christmas past…

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Now no one quite dressed the Christmas part like my grandpa…well, except maybe Santa! So, finding this old family picture from Christmas Eve a few years back (complete with my cousin’s dog and gramps’ oxygen tank) made me smile… This was one of our last Christmases before he passed away. Check out his snazzy red Christmas pants and sweater! Loved that!

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The guy in the grey suit in the back row? That is my stepdad. He has gluten allergies. For Christmas last year I made him a gift box filled with home made GF treats…bread, chocolate brownies, peanut butter cookies. You get the idea. It was probably one of my favorite gifts to give, too! Like Amber from Journey Of Steps said…nothing replaces the good feelings associated with the true intentions of Christmas!

Now to add the final steps to ensure I don’t become a Christmas Curmudgeon, I need Christmas Carols, people! I need to know all of your favorites…so I can sing them to myself. So help a sister out! What is putting you in the Christmas spirit? What is your all time favorite Christmas song and why? What is the best gift you’ve ever given at Christmas and why? Because nothing makes me Christmas Cheery quite like singing Christmas music. Well, except maybe this adorable girl….

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