First Time Sharing

Tonight I have firsts on my mind. First crush, first kiss, first love, first time, first heartbreak… I know, oddly innocent and nostalgic, but after my buddy LJ Kentowski mentioned in the last blog that I had a ton of memories, I figured it was time to jog everyone’s memory. So please, sit, relax and take a ride with me on this train of reminiscing. Think back to your firsts…when you hear the word, what comes to your mind? Bet it’s more than one thing!

My first solo: in church. I was 2. Song? Jesus Loves Me!

First Plane trip: 8 months old. From Philippines to California.

First best friend: a little blond girl named Corinne. Unfortunately the friendship was short lived based on all the travel our family did with the military. I was 3 and she was 4.

First crush: a boy in the Philippines. His name was Michael. He was 7, I was 6. He was my teacher’s nephew. He gave me my first kiss on the cheek. We lost touch when I moved to the states, but eventually got back in touch when I was in 8th grade.

First “real” kiss: I was 14. The boyfriend’s name was Joe. He had dark, almost black hair, dark brown eyes, a smattering of freckles over his turned up nose, and sexy lips. He was also the first boyfriend to give me his jean jacket to wear as a sign that we were dating.

First love: a boy named Jay. I was 15, he was 16. He was Italian. Brown hair and eyes. He had olive skin and an awesome tan to go with an awesome body. We were both big flirts. Our song was Atlantic Starr’s Always. He was a football player and wrestler. His sister was one of my two best friends. The other one was a girl named Laura. He cheated on me with her, effectively ending our friendship. Later I forgave him and took him back. He would be the first and last guy I’d do that with. This also makes him my first heartbreak. We were just too volatile for each other in the end. To this day I hate that song.

First time: actually, it’s kind of sweet! It was hubby. I was 9 days from my 20th birthday. I’d decided long ago that I wasn’t going to rush sex. I wanted it to be something I wouldn’t look back on with regret. Too many of my friends were like that. I decided waiting till marriage would be unrealistic for me. So I decided I needed to wait for someone I was in love with.

First job: babysitting at 13 years old. She paid me $5 an hour. The kid’s name was Michael & he was my brother’s best friend.

What firsts do you remember? Do you look back on them with nostalgia?

Here’s an awesome song about firsts that could’ve been written for hubby and me.

For The First Time

Looking Glass To The Past

Reminded several weeks ago about my old poetry books by Jenny Hansen when she talked about poetry being her coping tool, I dragged them out. I remember never going anywhere without a pretty journal book so that I could write down whatever poem popped into my head. Looking back on those poems was like going through a time machine. Sometimes funny…especially looking back on how far I’ve come, sometimes painful. Then again, teenage years are an angsty time.

I thought I’d share a bit of the funny along with the angst today.

Melt Down Written 2/12/91

You took an iron chain
And linked it through my heart.
I couldn’t pull away
Or my life would fall apart.
But my tears were like acid
And you caused them to fall
So by your own mistakes,
I gained my freedom afterall.

Shot Written 4/14/91

She loaded the gun,
checked the back,
then took aim.
I heard the trigger
as it clicked.
I closed my eyes
then felt the metal
as it seared
through my flesh,
causing it to throb
like my heart.
Then she held
a mirror to my face.
“How’s that?”
she asked
as I quietly examined
My newly pierced ears.

The Storm written 7/24/91

Inside a great darkness
that only knows pain,
the sound of the thunder
the feel of the rain
A small fleck of sunlight
has broke through the wall
an alien object
in a stormy night fall.

The darkness is constant
while the light is so new.
The white is not trusted
in a world of dark blue.
The pain is too common
to accept the sun.
The closer it gets,
the harder I run.

Yeah…there’s something beautiful about youth…and looking back. Seeing how far you’ve come. What about you? What were you like when you were younger? What was your escape? What brings back those memories? Those nostalgic smiles?

Here’s a little secret. As much as I wrote…and I did lots of that… My escape came through music. All kinds of music. It still does. Like I told Jenny…it’s my coping mechanism.

I also want to share some people who’ve really wowed me with their poetry lately… I encourage you to just take a peek at their work. It’s amazing!

Renee Jacobson wrote an amazing piece on Learning Shame. Karen Robiscoe writes on Talking Shop that completely wowed me. Clark Kent 07 proves exactly why he’s a Superman in the advice he gives on how to treat a woman. Maybe Hasty Words and how she gets from A To Zero will impress you the way it did me. Personally, I found V’s poem, Flare, to be quite a great reminder that there’s perfection to be found in imperfection.

Every day I find something new and different that excites me! What treasures have you found? Share!