Getting Vocal on Oral Safety

Even as children we’re taught (hopefully) about the importance of practicing safe sex. The discussion can manifest itself in various ways depending on a family’s personal or religious beliefs, and that’s up to them. But the thing they usually have in common is discussing the medical results of unsafe sex.

As someone who grew up in hospitals and with family members and lots of friends in the medical industry (plus having worked in the medically related field in multiple roles over the years), knowing just how dangerous bodily fluid exchanges can be is hammered into your brain. As an office manager in a doctor’s office, it was my responsibility to make sure our staff had all the proper supplies to ensure their safety and to have a course of action prepared should our safety protocols fail because accidents can still happen.

By now you’re thinking, “Okay Kitt, we get it. Safe sex is important to you. But why are you sharing all this stuff with us?”

Good question. (And not just because I’m a big fan of Safe, Sane, and Consensual)

I was in a book group the other day when this question was brought up…

“Have you ever had someone cum on your face? If so, was it accidental or on purpose?”

The person asking had never had the experience and was curious. I was honest. I’ve only experienced it deliberately. Not only is it rude and exhibiting a lack of control for an “accidental” face mask, but it could also potentially be dangerous.

Then came the follow up question….

“If it was done without your permission, would you be pissed off?”

Hell yeah, I’d be pissed off! As stated above, there are all sorts of dangers that haven’t been discussed. If I’m going to let a man leave me an all natural, organic face mask, I’m going to want to know that the product isn’t tainted or substandard.

Right?

So imagine my surprise when someone came at me about my concerns being unrealistic. Why? Because apparently there are people out there who believe that the only way to have oral sex is unprotected. So since I already (in this person’s mind) had his uncovered cock stroking my tonsils, what’s the big difference as to whether or not I get his jizz all over my face.

First, there are plenty of people out there who know that it is absolutely possible to give head to raincoat covered cock. No, latex isn’t the tastiest, but it’s safe.

Second, even if I were to decide to have raincoat-less oral, sperm comes out fast and hot. If you’re going to potentially blind a woman, she has the right to make the choice to take the risk. 😉

Third, the eyes are a very vulnerable when it comes to exposure to bodily fluids. The eye is a mucous membrane, hence it’s susceptible to quite a bit…so semen, golden showers, or any other exchange of bodily fluids near that area are not to be taken lightly.

Fourth, consent should always be an active part of sex. Any sex. Yes, that includes oral (and how it’s done). You wouldn’t just pee on someone without discussing golden showers first, would you? (And if your answer is yes, know it’s a great way to get your teeth knocked in.)

Just sayin’.

Safe sex is still a thing. And important. And being concerned about it doesn’t make you uncool. Any partner worth their salt should be having this discussion with you.

So yeah, I was a little surprised that my statement was seen as contradictory, but hey… Maybe I was overreacting.

What are your thoughts on this subject?

Are there any subjects in the “safe sex” universe that have boggled your mind? Maybe made you feel old? I’d love to hear your thoughts.

O is for Oral Sex and Orgasms

This is going to come as a shock to a few of you, but….. I’m not perfect.

I know. I know. Take a breath. It’s okay. I promise. You’re going to need it because I’m about to really blow your mind.

Not only am I not perfect, but I was also not always all that great certain aspects of sex. In fact, although I was amazing at receiving oral sex (talk about orgasms galore), I was not so great at giving it.

I had a gag reflex. I could work my fist around the base, knew how to twist with each stroke to enhance sensation, but when my head bobbed down…. Well, let’s just say that yacky, gaggy sounds aren’t really all that sexy, and it didn’t take much to hit that trigger.

Oddly enough, it was a lesson learned from years of dental and orthodontic works that helped me overcome.

What did I learn? If you don’t want to gag, breath in and out through your nose. It sounds so simple it couldn’t possibly work, right? But it does. Trust me. Try it.

The other thing? Well, to be fair, I knew I had this in me. I just didn’t realize how it would impact my cock sucking skills. I’ve got an exhibitionist streak a mile wide. For me it translated into the ability to give some pretty great road head minus the gag reflex because my sense of excitement overruled my usual issues.

Other things that I discovered that helped? There are actually gels, pills, and sprays that can be used to help numb the back of your throat/gag spots. The down side is that if you apply too much, it can also numb the dick you’re trying to pleasure… Which kinda defeats the purpose, right?

Finally, I had a fear of swallowing. I was afraid it would taste gross, maybe make me puke, or spew out so fast I’d choke on it. I was completely unwilling to try at first. But like I said, the possibility of being watched or caught? Brings out my inner wild child/Goddess. Not to mention the helplessness of the man, especially during the time of his release. He can’t think, he loses track of his surroundings, and becomes unable to think. He can only feel….

And that loss of control, along with my part in it?

Huge turn on, of course!

It was one such situation that allowed me to swallow the first time. I was enjoying my power, his helplessness….and feeding off his fear/excitement at the possibility of being caught. I pushed him past that limit and swallowed every drop. And discovered it didn’t taste at all like I feared. (I also later uncovered that different people and foods can change that flavor as well.)

Once I overcame that fear I became quite the skilled mouth. Which turned out to be a very good thing since many of my friends will randomly come up to me and ask me for sex advice. A lot. About a lot of subjects. Guess it’s a good thing I’m open to talking all things sex, huh?

I know I’m probably not the only one who’s ever run into sexual challenges… Please feel free to share some of yours. You never know who else may be going through the same thing…or who may be able to help you overcome.

And now I leave you with a clip on oral from one of my all time favorite shows, Queer as Folk.