Damn You, Dorian!

Hurricane weather can be hell on productivity.

First, I’m so excited to share with you all that I’ve completed writing my first full length novel (100K words) and that I’m in the pre-editing stages. Second, I’m thrilled to share that I had brunch with my editor today and I gave her a firm date with which to expect my finished product. This has me both excited and anxious as my deadline is mid September, just in time for my wedding anniversary.

The issue? This damn hurricane may make me late. The last hurricane that rolled up this way was Irma, and we lost power for nearly a week. That would put a huge crimp in my plans should history repeat itself. Icing on the cake? My current day job is in alarm dispatch monitoring. Natural disasters have a way of fucking with jobs like that…and we’re all on call in case an all-hands-on-deck situation occurs.

But this is the one getting to me… My beautiful senior fur baby, Izzy, somehow managed to injure a back paw and is now limping pretty heavily. Normally I’d just be worried about her anxiety in a storm, but now that she’s started taking doggie CBD (bacon flavored) that’s more of a non-issue. But the paw injury? Breaking my heart. So, with a hurricane bearing down, we have a vet appointment for her tomorrow.

And if you think I’m crazy to give her CBD tinctures for storm anxiety, consider watching this video of this afternoon’s storm (which isn’t even hurricane stuff yet). I know humans who would be anxious. Sorry in advance for the sideways video….

D is for Doggie Dramatics

Isn’t it funny how two individuals from the same family can be incredibly different from one another? My sister and I are that way, but it doesn’t prevent us from being super close.

Isabella is the older one, Ryka is the baby.

Isabella is the older one, Ryka is the baby.

My dogs, though not biologically related, are the same way. They may be the same breed (shiba inu), they look close enough to be family, but that’s where their similarities end.  My older shiba, Izzy, is known as black and tan because she’s got that beautiful red with black tips all over. The younger one, Ryka, is sesame.

Izzy shortly after coming home

Izzy shortly after coming home

I received Izzy as a Christmas gift from my hubby after wanting a dog for years. Something about her feisty, playful nature spoke to him. It was evident with her brains and stubbornness once he got her home that she  definitely took after her mom. Surprisingly, she was also quite social, viewing all the young kids in the neighborhood as fellow puppies to play with.

Sadly, we hadn’t even had her more than a couple of weeks when she was attacked on our front yard by a the neighbor across the street’s dog. Izzy was not even 5 lbs, yet, and the dog who attacked was an over 50 lb. German Shepherd/Chow mix and a bit unstable. Fortunately, hubby is fast and was blessed with fast reflexes. He was able to yank her away and limit the damage to the minimum….fat, fur, and skin. It required 2 surgeries to the side of her face, but she was stoic. She bore up really well, and when she was healed enough to go back outside, she went straight to the spot on the yard where she’d been hurt, sat straight and tall and stared across the street at the neighbor’s house as if to send the message that this was her yard, and she would not be scared.

Izzy today

Izzy today, a bit majestic

Izzy is strong, silent, and smart. She was potty trained within a day or two and learned most of her tricks within a couple hours. When she goes to the vet, she’ll sit stoically while they administer her shots. Not a sound. She doesn’t feel the need to prove she’s an alpha. She just quietly takes the lead most of the time.

Ryka with hubby on adoption day

Ryka with hubby on adoption day

And then there’s Ryka. She’s my little diva. My drama queen. I say she inherits that from her dad. He disagrees. Apparently he thinks she gets it from me.

The first time Izzy’s regular vet saw Ryka (though they go to the same practice, they each had different doctors), she was completely surprised. She’d been used to Izzy’s calm, collectedness. Although I warned them from experience that Ryka tended to be a bit of an actress, she didn’t quite get what I meant until she tried to administer shots.

As I held her still on the table so the doc could administer shots, she started squawking and yelling like someone was trying to kill her. The doc hadn’t even touched her with the needle yet. She jumped back for a second and laughed. She realized I was not at all kidding about how different the two sisters were.

Ryka these days

Ryka these days

Where Izzy is naturally dominant and doesn’t feel the need to exert her power, Ryka’s like the power hungry guy with little big man syndrome. If Izzy is laying down, she feels the need to stand over her head. If Izzy is getting attention, she nudges her out of the way to claim it all for herself. Heck, she tries to establish dominance by standing over my feet every time I get to bed. Yeah. I have to remind her on a regular basis that I’m the Alpha mama.

Hamming it up for the camera

Hamming it up for the camera

What’s hilarious is that despite Ryka’s craving for being recognized as the queen bee, the slightest sign that she’s in trouble or she gets scared and she runs to hide…. behind Izzy. I have to hand it to both girls, though. Despite the fact that they’re both under 30 lbs., if they sense a threat to me, they’ll take it on, regardless of size. When an 80 lb. unleashed dog bum rushed us one day, little Ryka jumped in front of me and started growling the nastiest sound I’d ever heard her make. Izzy was even more dangerous because she got extremely quiet, all her muscles at attention, and her fur standing on end. It was fortunate that the other dog obeyed when I told him to go away. It could’ve been a very bad scene.

Do you have pet antic stories to share? Are you a dog or cat person? A Rattie? Not an animal lover? I’d love to hear from you!

BTW, for this Easter holiday, I have great deals going on for my books! Three For All is FREE this weekend, and Four One Night is on sale for $.99!

Comments about Three For All:

“Sexy fun! Kitt Crescendo’s debut novella takes readers on a thrilling, sensual journey many women yearn for, yet few are bold enough to admit. The tantalizing prose and erotic twists will turn you on, keep you there and leave you famished for more.

Kudos to Crescendo for writing a strong, feminine, sex-loving leading lady! We need more stories like these. ” -August McLaughlin

“This story will heat up your winter chill right now! Admit it, you’ve had this fantasy. You have a boyfriend, but you’ve always been a bit curious about your male best friend. The three of you are inseparable, so what if your friend and boyfriend decided to let you live out your fantasy? There’s nothing worse than badly written erotica, and you won’t find a trace of that here. You’ll feel like you’re there, so plan some alone-time! The only reason I’m giving this four stars is because I also read Four One Night, and I like it even better, and wanted to balance the scales to be able to give it a full five stars. If I could give this one 4.9999999 stars, I would.” -Ripley Gold

Comments about Four One Night:

“Holy damp panties!! Just when I thought things couldn’t get any hotter, Kitt Crescendo kicks it up 10 notches and proves me wrong!!” -Tish Delanoy

“This was one SERIOUSLY HOT FANTASY RIDE!!!!! Not only did it explore M/F/M/F, it dipped its toe into the mysterious waters of M/M/F/F and F/M/M/F! And to “top” things off, Author Kitt Crescendo even throws in a little taste of D/s play with an unusual twist (I won’t spoil that for you.) As she did in Three For All (Wild Side Book 1), Ms. Crescendo manages to take the challenging short story format and gives us a complete fantasy story. The pacing is perfect and the characters are interesting and unique; no easy task in a work of this length. Kudos to you, Ms. Crescendo! You’ve managed to create a second “Lelo worthy” story in this series and I can’t wait for the next installment!” -Boomer Sooner

Damn, Van Damme!

Today Has been Cancelled

It was so tempting today to just crawl back into bed. I soooo wanted a do over. Maybe it was my fault for not having coffee right away when I woke up. Regardless, It was a test on my “never say die”, sunny disposition. For those of you who don’t realize just how much personality pets can have…keep reading. You’ll get it in spades. Here’s a taste of my day…

Picture this:

They look innocent, don't they?

They look innocent, don’t they?

You’ve made plans with one of your closest friends to take your two dogs and his to the farmers market, then for a walk in the nearby waterfront path. He pulls up to pick you up and your normally docile, mild mannered older baby decides to act out. She’s not a huge fan of vehicles, so she pulls out of her lead, gives you the stink eye, then starts calmly walking down the street.

The "Good" One

The “Good” One

You may not know this particular breed, but the worst thing you can do is chase them. They’re quite speedy and wily…and way too smart for their own good. So you follow. You give her the commands you know she understands. Stop. Stay. Go home. Her response? A derisive look over her shoulder that pretty much tells you…Eff You! But you catch up to her because she’s not really trying to get away. She’s just giving you attitude. Unwilling to risk a repeat, you pick her up and place her in the car and you’re on your way.

The older one is okay now. In fact, she’s on her best behavior because as much as she hates cars, she loves outings. She calmly jumps out of the vehicle and waits patiently. You begin to think “okay, so this morning started with a hiccup. No biggie.” but no….

The "Wild Child"

The “Wild Child”

Your smaller, younger, faster dog…who’s still more of a pup…decides it’s her turn. You crack the door open to click the lead in place and let her out when she spots this teeny, tiny crack of empty space and makes a diving leap for it. Yes, the one dog you NEVER want to escape because she hates orders, refuses commands unless there’s blackmail food involved and is obviously part cheetah (which accounts for her speed)….actually escapes. In the heart of downtown. Surrounded by busy streets. The only thing you can be thankful for is that it’s a little after 8 on a Saturday morning, so traffic is not yet in full swing.

You, your other dog, your friend and his dog all go after her, careful not to give chase and make her think you’re playing a game. She’s so fast it’s tough to keep up without running. You call out to her. You fight the images shoving their way into your imagination of her getting hit by a car. You dread the phone call you might have to make to your family if anything should happen. She runs out into a busy street and you hold your breath as you try to get to her, but she runs back out of it as a car comes her way. The other dogs attempt to herd her toward the farmers market (at least there the streets are blocked off). She races into someone’s yard. Thankfully, they’re mowing their lawn and she’s got an innate dislike for mowers and turns around.

Finally, after a merry 10-15 minute chase and the help of some kind vendors at the Farmers market, she slows down. They were smart enough to pretend they had treats. Unfortunately, she knows that trick….she got only close enough to look carefully before dashing off again, this time toward your friend who knelt down in the middle of the road with his pit-bull. Because she considers the pit one of her best friends, she paused to sniff him. Your friend tackles her and holds her down in the middle of the street allowing you to walk over and finally lock her down.

As I said, my first mistake may have been not having my first cup of coffee…or maybe just getting out of bed. But you guys know me. I’m no quitter, so I persevered. We quickly finished at the farmers market and headed off to the dog park. It was mostly uneventful there…if you don’t count the fact that though both my dogs are not fans of the water, the oldest decided to tromp her way through every puddle she could find. With two coats of fur, when I went to pick her up to put her in the back of the vehicle…her wet muddiness transferred…all over my bare arms and teal pastel clothing.

This was all before 10am.

I debated having a drink… Heck, it’s 5 o’clock somewhere, right? But the truth is, I’m not much of a drinker and definitely not the type to give up control enough to get drunk. So I made myself some coffee instead….and decided to do dishes. Strangely enough, that proved to be dangerous to me, too. I hand wash all my “good” knives…especially my Cutco and Calphalon sets. Foolishly, I set them in a china bowl off to the side, not realizing the bowl was actually on top of something else. The heavy handles made that bowl rock and the knives go airborne…at me.

Miraculously, though knives were flying in my direction, the only think that got cut was a cuticle. Although I was thisclose to turning around and going back to bed so that I could give myself a “do over”, I kept hearing this in my head…

Damn You, Jean Claude Van Damme!

Damn You, Jean Claude Van Damme!

So, as usual, I decided to find music to fit the mood…and inspire…. Here are my Top 5.

This one pretty much describes how my day went…except I had the guts to stick it out, unlike this girl.

When douchebags contribute to your bad day, but you actually manage to stick it out…. Love me some Blakey!

Things to remember to help get you through a bad day…and who doesn’t love this movie? I know every song.

A reminder that getting through it is what it’s all about…because the sun WILL come out tomorrow.

The beauty of humanity and the ties we have… This video is just too sweet and a reminder to me that you never know when some little gesture on your part could be the thing that brightens someone else’s day.

On the plus side…I stuck it out and the day’s already improving! The Illini won their football game! Woot!

So what songs can talk you out of crawling back into bed after a bad day? Have you had any pet created catastrophes? Any self inflicted ones? Make me smile….

Dog Days And Aggressive Ways

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The little Shiba Inu is my puppy. Her name is Ryka. I sometimes call her Hell Spawn. Her big Pitbull friend is named Seven…as in Battlestar Galactica. He’s a really sweet guy, and both my girls consider him a friend.

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Here is a picture of all three of them frolicking by my pool after their morning walk. My girls, though they love the outdoors, hate the water. My best friend’s boy doesn’t have the same problem much to their consternation and concern.

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In fact, my little one came to check on Seven once he was done with his swim…just to make sure the evil water hadn’t poisoned him or made him sick.

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It’s funny… Pitbulls fall under the “aggressive dog” category, unfair though it is. There are actually people out there who think these loveably large oafs are born vicious. What a crock!

Here’s what I’ve noticed. Some of the most naturally aggressive dogs I’ve met have been the “dress-me-up-and-put-me-in-a-purse” variety. It’s as though they suffer from little big man syndrome. The thing is, the damage their bites can do are pretty minimal. Size of mouth correlates with damage of bite, so it stands to reason that a bite from a Pitbull can cause serious damage.

Really, though, it’s owners who ultimately dictate the behavior of the dogs. Vicious animals are usually trained to be that way. Sadly, when dogs act out or misbehave, rarely do these same owners take responsibility for their own action. Why are they surprised when the dogs act the way they taught them?

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Yup! Seven sure looks mean and dangerous to me! Are you an animal lover? What do you guys think about “aggressive” dogs?

Dangerous Beauty

FloridaPanther_01-Cougar

Tendrils of fear
Prick my spine,
A tingle rippling
Outward.
I sense you,
My every move
Cautious,
Scared.
Trapped,
A human statue,
Frozen by fear
Unsure–
Like prey
Caught in
The crosshairs,
Feel the danger,
Not the direction.
Your tawny paw
Steps out
Revealing yourself,
From browns and greens,
Nature’s camouflage.
Amber eyes on me,
Unblinking,
Assessing,
Wild grace
In your gait.
I hold my breath,
Awed,
By your beauty,
My fear.
As you circle,
Deciding.
Muscles ripple,
You stretch out,
Swish your rope like tail,
Turn,
Disappearing into the wood
Like a ghost.
Hand to heart,
Feel thumping beat,
Reassurance.
I live to see
Another day.

Today, walking my dogs, I encountered what I’m now pretty sure was a young Florida panther sunning itself next to a neighbor’s house. Fortunately the pups didn’t see it and the wild beast seemed to have been well fed, or that could’ve been a very scary situation. Not wearing my glasses, something compelled me to look over at their house. For about 2 seconds I thought I was looking at a tree stump (hey, no glasses, remember?). After I blinked a second I realized that I was looking at a big effing cat…bigger than my 26 lb dog. Bobcats aren’t uncommon, so I thought maybe that’s what I saw…I mean, the thing was definitely big, had nice fangs…but one thing kept bothering me. Bobcats usually have spots/markings…this one was all tawny. I kept my dogs moving and got them past where the beast was sunning itself before they even noticed.

When I got home, I googled Florida wildlife…looked up bobcats…then clicked Florida panthers. Yup! It was a young panther. They are beautiful and wild, but I was so glad it wasn’t hungry. That could’ve really been scary. Well, ya’ll know me…never turn down a chance to create a poem out of a slightly scary & life threatening experience. What about you? Have you had any scary moments with nature? (And not the kind where you were on a long hike, needed to use the restroom and didn’t have one nearby…unless it involves using poison ivy as TP…LOL! Just kidding.)

And…in honor of love…and the unusual…I’m throwing down some old school jazz…complete with scatting (musical…not the creepy stuff) and improv. Yes, ladies and gents, that mean’s Ella’s in the house! She, like a fine wine, only got better with age…

It’s An Honor Just To Be Nominated….Thanks, Ella!

Hey Ya’ll! Back in December the wonderful Ella Medler awarded me with the Liebster Award. I promised her that when things slowed down and I had a moment (and got through the Blog Of The Year awards) I would accept the award and answer her questions.

liebster-award

Well, things have finally eased up…and being a woman of my word, I have finally had time to go back and participate. So here are the rules:

1. Thank the person who nominated you.

2. Post eleven random facts about yourself.

3. You answer the eleven questions asked by the person who nominated you.

4. You think of a new set of eleven questions and nominate eleven others to answer them.

Thank you again, Ella, for thinking of me…It is my absolute honor to accept your nomination!

So…without further ado, here are 11 random facts about yours truly:

1. My parents told me that I used to speak German pretty fluently back when we lived there…and that I was my father’s translator when he needed to speak to the landlord. (I’ve since lost all but the most common words)

2. I hate running, yet I’ve allowed my friend and editor to talk me into doing Disney’s Food and Wine half marathon run in the future, so I’m training & doing my first 5K in February.

3. It took me 3 months to become fluent in Tagalog & 6 months to be fluent in Kapangpangan…a local dialect in the Philippines.

4. The first time I became tongue tied in front of a celebrity was when I met Terry Bradshaw. I’m still kicking myself because I had to have come off as the biggest “girlie girl”. Although I know about his Hall Of Fame Career with the Pittsburgh Steelers…what did I say to him? “I really LOVE watching you and Howie on TV.” He was classy about it…didn’t even laugh. In fact, he put his arm around me and thanked me, saying he wished they had more fans like me.

5. You know all those videos people watch of other people falling or tripping or other such things…and laughing? I could have probably starred in a couple of them. Yes, although I can be graceful…when I fall…It’s always in a BIG way…and more often than not, with an audience.

6. I got a chance to play with dolphins this last year.  It was a blast!

Kissing Dolphin

7. I have a soft spot for accents…3 in particular…Australian, Southern and Hispanic…(something about endearments spoken in Spanish or with a southern drawl that makes me go all melty inside… and Aussies can make anything sound hot!)

8. I have 2 Shiba Inu dogs…My mom thinks the reason they’re so smart is because they’re Asian…LOL! (Not just a little ethnocentric, right?)

Doggies

9. I have actually been “motor boated” by a drag queen…it was my bachelorette party.

10. I would rather get muddy playing tackle football than going to a spa for a mud bath.

11. I’m a HUGE Dallas Cowboy fan…and I HAVE met a whole bunch of their players…past and present. Most famous one I’ve shaken hands with? #22-Emmitt Smith at his Hall Of Fame induction celebration.

Me with Jay Novacek

Me with Jay Novacek

 

Ella’s 11 Questions:

1. What did you last have for dinner?

Don’t remember what I had last night, but hubby is currently making filet mignon with a portabella/wine topping, cheesy tomato tartlet & a cheesy broccoli bake (yes…he loves cheese) for dinner tonight as I’m typing this.

2. If money were no object, would you fly to the moon?

Hmmm… I might, just to say I’ve done it…though I don’t really have a huge desire to go there. (It seems kind of boring, and not sure that no gravity would be all that fun)

3. What was your bravest act in the last 12 months?

Deciding not to file for unemployment (because that would require looking for a job) and focusing on writing my first book. Following my true passion.

4. I don’t expect you to remember the title or author, but what was the plot of the worst book you ever read?

It was some sort of erotica…one of those no happy ending ones (though I wasn’t aware of it at the time). What was the plot? There really WASN’T one…just fighting, sex and death. Waste of my time.

5. What is the sport you wish you mastered to perfection?

There really isn’t one… I love all sorts of sports, but if I mastered any of them to perfection, I think I might lose interest. I enjoy learning and growing constantly.

6. Where would you go to spend your last day on Earth?

For me, it wouldn’t be a where so much as with whom…and the answer would be…with my loved ones. (Hubby, dogs, family)

7. What is the most romantic gesture you ever came up with for your loved one?

It’s a toss up between writing a poem for my love or singing to him…

8. If possible, in what century would you rather have lived? Or is this one just fine for you?

Although I’m perfectly happy in the century I’m in, I’d have loved to have been around (maybe as a lady in waiting) with Eleanor of Aquitaine during Henry II’s reign or back in Ancient Greece or Rome… I also think it might have been cool to be around for Alexander the Great…or follow Jesus around. (I LOVE History!)

9. If you had the chance, what new genre would you like to introduce? Describe it, please.

I don’t know that there would be a new genre I’d introduce… I rather like the ones we have right now.

10. What gadget couldn’t you live without and why?

Phone-I enjoy interaction…I talk, I email, I social network…getting rid of it would be like cutting off a limb.

11. What is the most infuriating thing about today’s world, in your view?

How hateful and cruel people can be to one another…without even thinking or considering or caring.

My 11 Questions for my nominees:

1. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be and why?

2. What did you want to be when you grew up?

3. If you could be any animal, what would you be and why?

4. What one movie can you watch over and over again and never get sick of?

5. What talent do you wish you had and why?

6. If you had to pick one famous person of the same sex to have a man or girl crush on, who would it be and why?

7. When you think of historical figures, who do you most admire and why?

8. If you could be a professional athlete, what would be the sport you’d like to be a pro at?

9. What was the coolest thing you have ever done for someone else?

10. What are you most afraid of and why?

11. What do you consider your greatest accomplishment to date and why?

And my nominees are:

Phil– Funny, a bit sarcastic…and pretty cool…for a New Yorker. He’s a new friend with a passion for Speakeasies, watching living, breathing train wrecks and fitness.

Susie– She’s a woman who grabs life by the horns and dances…whether people are watching or not. Even Thor loves this woman!

Austin– My favorite Modern Day Philosopher who has quite the knack for putting a whimsical twist on current events while still making you think. (but isn’t that what Philosophy is all about?)

Rob– He’s blunt, a bit warped (he’s even got a “fan chick stalker diary” and “zombie diary” going on), funny…and very few things are out of bounds with him. It may also explain why he actually had to post a clarification blog for his new followers! He’s also featured a bunch of guest bloggers (including yours truly).

Loni– A wonderful, supportive new friend and author. She always finds time to stop by and give a kind word. Things like that mean so much.

Wordsurfer– A sweet lady who is a lot more courageous than she gives herself credit for. She’s always got a keen observation or a thoughtful comment. I’ve been enjoying getting to know her.

Jen– An empty nester who thinks she’s a “beginner” at poetry…but so far from that. She’s fun, and thoughtful…and full of insight. (Plus, she’s got that awesome Aussie thing going on for her…I’m jealous of her accent and I haven’t even heard her speak.)

CrazyTrainToTinkyTown– Yes, she really is a bit crazy…but in the best possible way! She makes me laugh. Her comments are quirky and full of fun, just like her!

LJ– A wonderfully talented writer friend who has this work in progress that has me completely intrigued. She’s a riot and my sister of the dirty mind. She’s also amazing in the way she supports her friends.

Ray– A new friend I met through Susie, he’s honest and insightful. In a very short time I’ve come to appreciate his reflective nature and his willingness to share.

Jessi– She just released a new book about a sexy Scottish Highlander…Yum! She’s a fun friend who is entertained by the fact that I’m a bit off the wall and you never know exactly what to expect when you stop by and visit me. She also understands that a love of erotic romance (both reading and writing) does not negate my love of God or my faith.

Seriously…you guys need to check these folks out…and if you’re not following them yet, why the heck not? Can’t wait to see what kind of answers they’ll have for my questions.  Hope you guys are entertained by the random facts about me and my answers to the awesome Ella’s questions…

But in the meantime…What does Liebster even mean? Anyone know?