T is for Tied Up

Image courtesy of adamr at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of adamr at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

I have a fascination for restraints and bondage….

Not on me, mind you. I’m a bit too much of a control freak to ever feel comfortable enough to willingly place myself in someone else’s power. But someone trusting me enough to voluntarily give themselves over into my care? Especially in a sensual manner? What a turn on!

I probably should have noticed when I was younger that I had a thing for being on top, taking my much bigger and stronger boyfriends’ (hello, I’m 5’3″ and only weighed about 105 lbs back then, so of course they were bigger) wrists into my hand and holding them over their head while I kissed them senseless. Yes, even though that immobilization was pretty much voluntary and all about the imagery & sense of helplessness more so than the real deal, it got my juices going.

It may explain why, at the age of 18, I “tied” my boyfriend down with some thumb cuffs. He was 6′ tall and about 160 lbs. of muscle, but he was helpless while I explored his body with my tongue until he begged for mercy. Oh, so much fun.

And then I discovered rope bondage through reading and the internet and became very intrigued. Also known as rigging, it’s both an art and a sexy practice. At least to my way of thinking. It’s one of those items that’s definitely on my “must learn” list.

If you’re interested in experimenting in bondage there are several safety aspects to keep in mind:

  • You may want to consider staying away from ties, scarves, and/or silky materials if your partner loves to struggle against their bindings. These materials will tighten up if you fight your bindings too hard and will tighten, causing circulation to become cut off.
  • Make sure to have some sort of shears/scissors if you’re going to play with clothing or ropes. You never know when you might need to free your partner quickly, and you need to be able to cut through bindings. You can’t guarantee that your partner won’t panic and need a rescue.
  • Have a safe word and don’t be afraid to use it. Both you AND your partner need to trust each other. Bondage requires both that and patience.
  • Bondage is not ideal if one or both parties have been drinking. Tying someone up requires time, patience, and trust. By the way, this is true regardless of what kind of bondage you might indulge in.

There. You have my kink confession. Now it’s your turn. What kink have you always either been curious about or wanted to try? Judgment free zone, right here!

Bound to Soar

Sexy Black Rope Bondage by mizsmith courtesy of indulgy.com

Sexy Black Rope Bondage by mizsmith courtesy of indulgy.com

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Cloak my sight in velvet dark,
Hide away the day.
Blind me from the prying eyes
Until the world is far away.

Engulf me in your fantasy,
Tease me with your power;
Self controlled seduction,
Waiting to devour.

With silken cords, gentle touch,
Bind me till I’m free.
Wrap me snug, away from harm
Your voice, a constant melody.

Paint seduction with your lips,
Enflame me from within,
Till all I know and think and feel;
Your touch upon my skin.

Take my body, hard and deep,
Impassioned by your lust,
Steal my breath, dissolve my thoughts
Till I scream with every thrust.

Guide me safe and let me soar,
Fearless in my bliss,
Freed within your mastery,
To savor passion’s kiss.

There’s always been something extremely beautiful and seductive to me about rope bondage. Okay, so the reality is that I’d rather learn how to be the rigger (aka the person doing the tying), but I still think it’s incredibly beautiful.

Truth is, the first time I ever experimented with bondage, I was about 17 years old. I noticed that by taking away my (then) boyfriend’s ability to move, he was better able to relax and enjoy it, trusting me to take care of him. For me, that was empowering. When combined with something like sensory deprivation (blindfolds, etc.), it can be pretty mind blowing.

The thing to remember is that trust and communication are hugely important anytime you’re delving into these areas. Please, if you decide to play, have a safe word in place. And if you’re dealing in bondage, make sure you have a way to quickly release the person entrusting you with their safety so that if they panic, no one gets hurt.

By the way, I was interviewed Fiona Mcvie’s blog today, too. She likes to chat it up with authors, so I’d really appreciate if you checked it out. I even left an excerpt for my next book over there. 😉