Rough and Ready For A Laugh…

 

 

Here’s the deal… My 40th is coming up, so my family is holding a bash in my honor…at MY house. This means a lot of work and preparation. Mom’s contribution includes working on fixing up the garden. So, from about 2 till 7, we spent our time in the garden. Did I mention that it started pouring down buckets of rain? Or that I slipped and fell…landing on my ass, damaging my pride and scratching up my forearm?

My scraped up forearm

My scraped up forearm

I like to laugh after a challenging day…

So….

I thought I’d share with you some blog posts by really cool people who’ve made me laugh…

I can’t think laughter and not think of Natalie Hartford. In fact, with my background in retail electronics sales, she slayed me with her Urban Word Wednesday: Macturbate post. Seriously….if you have ever been around a Mac loyalist, this will have you peeing your pants.

Next comes my girl Katie from Sass & Balderdash. Women especially will appreciate her concerns about VPL: Women’s Silent Killer. This is a serious epidemic that needs to be corrected immediately!

Of course, this gives me the perfect opportunity to laugh with Gloria Richard in her post Improv, Boogers, Wedgies, And Pimping Nigel Blackwell. If you’ve ever wondered what kind of craziness you can expect from “the wild children” at Conferences…this will get your mind going in the right direction.

With that, it only makes sense to introduce you to my friend Robert and his blog Seasons Of Insanity where he teaches you the finer points of How To Be A Pervert 101.

I was torn between 2 posts to introduce you to Jenny Hansen…and finally decided, why not put up both? For those of you who’ve wondered P Is For Panties (and what it says about your politics), this is quite “educational. And for those of you who are die hard Craig’s List peeps, Missed Connections: Which Of These Trainwrecks Needs The Most Dating Advice may be up your alley.

I can’t think humor and not include my favorite Modern Day Philosopher, Austin. After in depth research on Jack and Jill of nursery rhyme fame, he finally manages to get an exclusive expose called Jack And Jill Finally Come Clean About The Hill Incident. I’d mention his Survivor: Maine post, but I’m pretty sure the whole world has now heard about THAT one.

While I’m at it, I thought I’d throw in one of my funnier guest posts done for Seasons Of Insanity…. With all the blogging awards out there, I figured I’d throw my idea into the mix with Launching A New Award For The Holidays. I’m kind of proud of that one…LOL!

Finally, I thought I’d share with you the reward I got for all the hard work in the rain… The rainbow that appeared over my house.

Rainbow Over My House

Rainbow Over My House

What about you guys? What do you guys do after a trying day? What posts have made you laugh and why? Share them with us… It’s always such fun to discover new and interesting bloggers.

Labels, Stereotypes and Causes

I guess I thought labels and stereotypes would go away with high school. I was wrong. Looking back, it was pretty naïve to assume that something so prevalent in more youthful times disappeared with adulthood. After all, we get our examples of how to treat people somewhere.

This morning I was reading a post from my very sarcastic, very smart blog buddy, Katie. In her post she was being a bit tongue in cheek about the hypocrisy that often comes with labels, though her post was specific to feminists. She often speaks in satire and generalizations so it’s something that if you should take into account before reading. I find her stuff entertaining, even when I don’t agree (which has been known to happen).  This time, it was the comments that caught my eye in her post.

Katie and I have some similarities in how we were raised. We’re both from Chicago. We were both raised by single moms. We’re both smart and independent and proud of it. We’re both unafraid to speak our minds and enjoy writing blogs where we’re willing to take on almost any topic. The one area we’ve disagreed was in relation to interpersonal relationships and chivalry. Her independent soul finds chivalry to be irrelevant and unimportant as this post illustrates, whereas I find it to be hugely important and sadly lacking as I posted here. If you read her post, you’ll see in the comments just how different our points of view are. I guess that’s part of why her BS Feminism post drew me in….we were actually in agreement and it comes back to labels and stereotypes v. actual beliefs.

Let’s be honest…we’re all guilty of labeling and stereotyping. For example, how many people do you know (and hey, it may be you, yourself) hear the word conservative and picture either someone in a military uniform or a very wealthy person in a business suit who looks like they have a stick up their “you know what”? Or picture liberals as “tree hugging” tie-dye and hemp wearing hippies? Neither is accurate, by the way. Here’s the other kicker…being a liberal doesn’t guarantee you vote Democrat any more than being conservative means you are a Republican.

I’ve always disliked labels. I’m sure you’d all agree that we’re so much more than the labels people try to pin on us. It was actually during the Bush/Kerry election that my dislike turned to abhorrence. You see, I used to hang out on this one message board. Many of us had been friends for years. As often happens, closer to the election the posts got political. For whatever reason apparently, on this board, being gay meant you were supposed to be liberal, hence Democrat. Well, one of my very good friends didn’t get the memo. He broke that mold when he would proudly (and very articulately) jump into the debates on the side of Republicans. He won more of those skirmishes than he lost…which prompted another poster to tell him “I hope you get AIDS and die.” For voting Bush? Seriously? After hanging out at that board for more than 5 years I was done.

I’m not even going to touch the NRA….

So back to feminism. I’ll be honest…I’ve shied away from that label, too. Why? Because for whatever reason, the image I’ve grown to associate with feminism is not very complimentary. Picture an uptight, ball busting woman (often a man hater) who won’t allow simple niceties such as men opening doors, pulling out their chairs, helping them with their coat or paying the tab as if somehow it’s a slight to their ability to do so themselves. Don’t even pretend like you haven’t seen this behavior or know people like this. We all do. And that’s their right. It’s just not my cup of tea.

It’s easy to forget that feminism isn’t really about any of those things. In history class I remember cheering for the “bluestockings” and what they stood for. They wanted women to have a right to vote; for them to have a voice in politics. I loved that. I still do. Feminism is also responsible for laws that require women to receive equal consideration for jobs (as long as their qualifications are also equal). It has been responsible for women being allowed equal educational opportunities, equal salaries. It’s given us rights to make decisions regarding our bodies. I feel very strongly about self esteem and body issues whether they belong to men or women. I’ll take on anyone who goes out of their way to make another person feel worthless. These are all causes that I feel very strongly about…and wholeheartedly support!

Just because I may not be a huge fan of the label doesn’t mean I don’t strongly agree with the core of what it’s supposed to stand for. If you don’t agree with me, that’s okay! I’d love to hear your thoughts. If there are other labels/causes that you feel have gotten bastardized, share that, too!

At the end of the day, I think The Breakfast Club had it right at the end…. We’re a little bit of everything and trying to label it…well, it just gives extremists the opportunity to muddy those waters. 😉

Gonna Make You Sweat…

Last night I was sitting peacefully talking on the phone with one of my oldest friends, catching up on how her holidays went and finding out if her Monster-In-Law had finally left for good (and what damage she left in her wake). I’d had a pretty productive day. Managed to get an hour long work out it, was debating signing up for my first 5K run.

My pal and I were laughing and talking and wishing she lived nearby again so we could be doing it in person with either a cup of coffee or a glass of wine. Her Monster-In-Law usually required wine.

Coffee or Alcohol

Anyway, hubby came into the kitchen where I was sitting. As he was walking my way, he said, “Lovey, give me a hug” and spread out his arms to envelop me.

Hopping quickly from my perch I began to run away from him in earnest.

“Stay away from me! Don’t touch me,” I huffed as I ran around my dining room table.

“Come on,” he cajoled as he gave chase, “Don’t you love me anymore?”

Hand cradling the phone to my ear, I hollered over my shoulder, “You’re disgusting! Get away!”

“Do I want to know?” I hear my bestie against my ear.

As if he’d heard her, hubby shouts out, “See how she is, Amadiex? Not very loving or wifely, is she?”

“Go finish your work out and leave me alone,” I say as he closed in. My face was scrunched up and turned away from him, shoulders curled in, knees headed towards my chest. Yes…my entire body language said “get away!”

Finally he laughed and headed back to the treadmill.

Turning back to my phone conversation I said, “he is soaked in sweat.”

She laughed, “That can be hot!”

“Not when it’s dripping off him like he’s been standing in the rain, but it’s all work out sweat,” I answered.

Groaning, she answered, “No. That’s definitely not sexy.”

I shook my head, then realized she couldn’t see that through the phone line and answered, “Nope. It’s that nasty, smelly sweat…not the sexy glistening kind. And now you know why I ran like hell!”

She was too busy laughing to answer me.

The reality is, there is a huge difference between a man who looks like he’s been standing out in the rain because he’s been drenched in sweat and a man who’s truly been standing out in the rain… One is sexy…the other needs a shower.

raining man

This picture is sexy… but if the man standing there did not have the rain pouring down on him and was still in that condition…I’d offer to jump in the shower and wash his back. I would not be kissing him until the disgusting amount of sweat was gone.

Of course my puppy is more than happy to kiss him when he’s sweaty…but I think it’s the salt. I love my husband…I’d jump his bones almost any time he wants…but not when he could smother me in his sweat. If I’m going to get sweaty, it will either be self generated…or generated together from doing fun horizontal activities. 🙂

So my question tonight is this…what things do you find that can be sexy under certain circumstances and disgusting under others? Was fitness one of your resolutions? How are you doing with it?

And just to further entertain…you may want to check out my friend Katie’s blog post on “The 5 People You Meet In The Gym” and Natalie’s compelling “Orgasm…Through Exercise???”

 

The Greatest Gift

I’ve discovered in life that my favorite thing in the world is to watch someone’s face light up with pleasure when….Yeah…get your minds out of the gutter…I find just the right gift to convey how much I appreciate them. I must not be the only one because my awesome friend, Joe, decided to gift me with the Blog Of The Year 2012 award for Christmas. That means I’ve either been very, very good…or very, very naughty. Since he’s become like a brother to me, I’m betting on the former.

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Here’s the thing….when I started this blog a few months ago I had no idea what I was doing or if anyone would read my stuff…and quite frankly, I wasn’t doing it for them. Along the way, though, I made some great friends. So, I’m embracing Joe’s idea…since I can’t send all my lovely friends Christmas gifts (I’d go broke) or Christmas cards…I wanted to at least gift you with this award to let you know that you helped to make my year an awesome one.

The Rules are:

1 Select the blog(s) you think deserve the ‘Blog of the Year 2012’ Award

2 Write a blog post and tell us about the blog(s) you have chosen – there’s no minimum or maximum number of blogs required – and ‘present’ them with their award.

3 Please include a link back to this page ‘Blog of the Year 2012’ Award – and include these ‘rules’ in your post (please don’t alter the rules or the badges!)

4 Let the blog(s) you have chosen know that you have given them this award and share the ‘rules’ with them

5 You can now also join our Facebook page – click the link here ‘Blog of the Year 2012’ Award and then you can share your blog with an even wider audience

Please keep in mind if you aren’t given this gift…it doesn’t mean I don’t love you…or don’t plan on giving you one. In the last 3 days I’ve stacked up 3 of these bad boys so I’m not trying to hit the same people twice…And I’ll be spacing out the awards.  🙂

  • First goes to my first real friend on here…she’s looked out for me, she’s commented on my stuff, she welcomed me with open arms, then included me in some of her challenges and invited me to be part of her Triberr group… Mae Clair, with her talent for writing and her dreamer’s heart, this lady is one in a million. I love her Mythical Mondays best…and I’m wishing her all the success in the world on her books, the first which was also published this year! Check her out!
  • Another of my earliest friends on WordPress is Sheri DeGrom. Her advocacy for Veterans rights is awesome and her heart is just as sweet. She does a great job reviewing women’s fiction and she’s a pretty prolific writer in her own right. Our shared passions for words and music drew us together. If you haven’t been introduced, consider this your introduction.
  • Then there’s Emma Meade, my sexy music buddy…and vampire lover extrordinaire. She loves her supernatural stuff and makes no bones about it. The badder the boy, the sexier she finds him…well, at least on paper.  And she’s got great taste in sexy songs. Did I mention that she, too, has a book out? This awesome Irish woman is wonderful and I’m so glad I met her.
  • Have ya’ll met my girl, Katie? She is a fellow Chi-town girl and rip roaring hilarious! Not only has she lost a shit ton of weight, but she calls things like she see’s them.  She is not ashamed to discuss the fact that she’s cheating on her DVR with her boyfriend…or that she thinks her boyfriend may be stepping out on her with the TV…or about the horrific things that happen in a gym.  (My favorite is her most recent post about panty lines and the assacre it creates, so I linked it in…just so you can share in the hilarity.)
  • What about Miz Vagenda Vixen, who has her page decked out in my favorite…Hello Kitty. She is always looking for the brighter, more colorful side of life…and has a unique dancing style that will keep you in stitches…because all she wants is smiles, bright colors and sunshine…
  • I can’t do one of these awards without including the indomitable Natalie Hartford and her love of Urban Word Wednesday, pink and bedazzlers. There’s hardly anything out of bounds on her blog…except maybe talking bad about Mac…but hey, she’s a self professed Macturbator. Tears and howls of laughter ensue when I’m at her place… The cause nearest and dearest to her heart? MADD…and you should ask her why.
  • My buddy LJ has been the unfortunate victim of Blog loss in the last few months…which has enabled her to migrate over to WordPress…Yay, US! She is a writer friend who has been a huge support to me, and who had great taste in men. (Something I like to encourage). She always has time for a kind word, and that means everything.

These are a few of the people who’ve made a difference to me… I sincerely hope you check them out…and find something worth following, just like I did. For my nominees? I hope you like your early Christmas gifts….:-)

So, I sincerely hope you check out these folks and

Claiming Christmas (with a little help from my friends)

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No post yesterday…I know, bad of me. Usually I give warnings if I’m going to miss. Unfortunately, duty called. Anyway, still in El Paso, so I’m missing my family. As I sat at breakfast this morning, I started looking at pictures of Christmases past and thought I’d share. The above picture is my oldest girl, Isabella…she is such a tolerant girl. She sat with those antlers on her head so we could take pictures and didn’t even try to take them off.

You know who else is great? Hubby! For Christmas a couple years ago he got me this awesome holiday dish set so we could entertain friends and family in festive fun. He knows my entertainer spirit so well! Of course my friend, Natalie, has a hubby with some pretty interesting gift ideas, too!

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On the subject of gifts, my buddy Marcia also has some great ideas on how to help our deficit & economic issues while shopping for the holidays. In fact, I’m taking her up on the challenge and trying it, myself! Care to join us?

As I sat in my hotel lobby, enjoying the fireplace and thinking about different holiday traditions over the years, I came across my friend, Mae’s post on Mythical Monday about Yule logs! It was like she was psychic and knew where I was while I was busy being homesick!

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The thing is, usually hubby decorates the outside for Christmas and I decorate the inside….including putting up the tree. Well, he sent me a picture of outside…

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And he told me that he’s already put up the tree, too, since we’re not sure how long I’ll be away from home. He even volunteered to write out the Christmas cards! He also mentioned something about baking Christmas cookies! I know it’s sweet, but part of me is a bit sad. To comfort myself, I’ve been looking at unique Christmas Tree Ideas for the book lover. It did help me to re-find my smile. Here’s a pic of our tree from Christmas past…

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Now no one quite dressed the Christmas part like my grandpa…well, except maybe Santa! So, finding this old family picture from Christmas Eve a few years back (complete with my cousin’s dog and gramps’ oxygen tank) made me smile… This was one of our last Christmases before he passed away. Check out his snazzy red Christmas pants and sweater! Loved that!

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The guy in the grey suit in the back row? That is my stepdad. He has gluten allergies. For Christmas last year I made him a gift box filled with home made GF treats…bread, chocolate brownies, peanut butter cookies. You get the idea. It was probably one of my favorite gifts to give, too! Like Amber from Journey Of Steps said…nothing replaces the good feelings associated with the true intentions of Christmas!

Now to add the final steps to ensure I don’t become a Christmas Curmudgeon, I need Christmas Carols, people! I need to know all of your favorites…so I can sing them to myself. So help a sister out! What is putting you in the Christmas spirit? What is your all time favorite Christmas song and why? What is the best gift you’ve ever given at Christmas and why? Because nothing makes me Christmas Cheery quite like singing Christmas music. Well, except maybe this adorable girl….

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Cheating: Where Does Your Line Get Crossed?

Ok, guys and gals…it’s confession time again. Today’s topic? Fidelity. No, no…hubby and I are fine. No need to worry on that front. Nothing extramarital…unless you count the heroes in my naughty, naughty stories…as they dance their way through my brain.

Here’s the deal. I’m very quirky about extramarital affairs. I hated The Scarlet Letter and refuse to watch or read The Bridges Of Madison County. Maybe it comes from my dad repeatedly cheating on my mom, but I don’t find anything that glorifies or excuses adultery to be the slightest bit appealing. Having said that…I’m about to throw a big kink (pun intended) in this whole thing. Strange as it may seem, I have absolutely no issue with committed polyamorous relationships or sharing as long as both parties in the committed relationship are either there or have given consent. Yeah, that means I’m okay with exploring the voyeur/exhibitionist sides of relationships. The truth is, I LOVE reading this kind of book. Menage, BDSM, exihibitionism/voyeurism…I’m good with all of it! In fact, that’s the playground where I enjoy dipping my pen. Is this kind of relationship something I’d be interested in for real? No. I’m perfectly happy with having only one husband. Two may be a bit much to handle…LOL!

Why am I bringing this up? First, because I can. 😉 Second, because a friend of mine called me yesterday and got me thinking about cheating. She was talking in the context of her ex-husband. I’ll expand on this in just a moment.

Here’s the question I have for you guys before I continue with her story and put in my $.02. What construes cheating to you?

I know people can be very different about this. I’ve spoken to some women who’ve told me that the reason they’ve never purchased a sex toy (vibrator, dildo) is because their husband would feel threatened…and felt that this was necessary because they weren’t good enough in bed or some other such (in my opinion only) nonsense. The husbands have stated that they viewed this as a form of cheating. Personally, I subscribe to my friend Ande’s point of view that it can enhance the relationship (especially when used together). I don’t think that’s particularly progressive, just fact. Am I wrong? Well, if my girl Katie could cheat on her DVR with her boyfriend, I guess anything’s possible…;-)

I have other friends who feel watching porn is cheating. Personally, I don’t have a problem there, either. In fact, hubby and I have watched adult movies together. Sometimes it can spice things up! Sometimes it can give you ideas. Hopefully those ideas are more feasable than Natalie’s, because trips to the ER are not much fun, not to mention embarassing to explain to hospital personnel…trust me. I used to be hospital personnel…I could tell you stories! LOL! (Maybe another time)

What about constant texting and Facebook/Twitter messaging or emailing? Especially if it’s kept quiet from the significant other? Some feel that this is cheating emotionally. I don’t think it’s a good idea, but I don’t quite think it’s cheating. It’s definitely a gateway to heading down that path…because then it’s usually followed by meeting for coffee or drinks without telling the person with whom you’re in a relationship. Yeah…that’s a gateway. Anything that requires secretiveness and/or lies is probably not a great path to go down…but still not quite cheating.

Prostitutes or other one nighters…different area code or not? Yeah, to me that’s cheating. Sex of any kind without your significant other’s concent crosses a line for me. Am I wrong?

Here’s the story with my friend’s ex. You guys tell me if you think it’s cheating. My last statement above should probably tell you what my thoughts are… Her ex-husband used to sit online looking at porn and “spanking his monkey”. A lot. Here’s the twist. He was “jerkin’ his guerkin” to live webcam feeds. Interacting with the girls. Paying them. Telling them what to do. Watching them while they watched him. In a situation like that, would you consider it cheating? That he was doing this furtively goes without question. Where do you draw your cheating line?