Just the Tip Leads to Sexhibition

Road Head.

Mile High Club.

Public Restrooms.

Back of a Movie Theater.

On the Dance Floor.

If you haven’t figured out yet what our topic of discussion is…let me enlighten you. A few weeks ago I was honored to spend some time chatting it up with one of my favorite people, August McLaughlin of Girl Boner, and discussing spicy sex tips.

Girl Boner Radio Podcast Spicier Sex Inspo From Erotica Authors + Low Libido Tips

Of course, me being me, we can’t introduce the tip without sliding in deeper so you really feel and appreciate the meat, IYKWIM. Every bump of knowledge and stroke of experience builds and drives towards a much more adventurous and satisfying sexual experience.

And I enjoy facilitating the dialogue and experiences as we openly share and discuss things that many might feel belong only in the bedroom.

Me? Not so much, but then, the joke runs in my family that the first man I ever flirted with naked was probably the doctor that delivered me into this world, and the spanking was just icing on the cake. LOL! (We joke…. no actual impropriety happened at my birth, I promise.)

So why do I refer to mutual masturbation as my sexual gateway drug of choice? Because probably my biggest, most favorite thing in the world is something super simple, inexpensive, and a huge adrenaline rush under the right circumstances.

Yup, you guessed it. It’s what all those things at the top of my post have in common…. Exhibitionism.

While I don’t have to be the center of attention all the time at a party and I’m more of an ambivert than an extrovert, from a sexual aspect, I am not shy.

I’m the girl who’s more nudist at home than not.

The person who isn’t shy about unbuttoning her bikini top at the beach or pool so she doesn’t get tan lines (and if she happens to “accidentally” flash someone while adjusting or trying to tie it back up, c’est la vie).

For me, there’s a freedom and a thrill at the thought that someone is finding my body or what I’m doing exciting and arousing. I also perform better at some things when I know I might have an audience.

I know what you’re thinking… Kitt, what do you mean, right? Well, I have a little bit of a gag reflex. I know all the tricks and they help, but that requires I think about what I’m doing to prevent that choking and retching (which, BTW, isn’t really all that sexy…and can be a turn off/fear inducer), but if we’re in a car and I lean over and undo my man’s pants while he’s driving? Wow… No thought needed. I’m feeling free, loose, and sexy as hell.

A couple disclaimers… I don’t recommend doing this on busy streets or during rush hour traffic. No need to get in an accident or arrested. Also, make sure your partner can handle the excitement. Not everyone can, so start with a few strokes of the hand to see if it’s doable (and if your partner finds it as exciting as you do, because as much as it saddens me to admit, not everyone is an exhibitionist).

This may explain how vehicular sex found its way into my first couple of books… And the mile-high scene in my first full sized novel.

So here are a few misunderstandings about exhibitionism…

• Exhibitionism doesn’t always = crowds. It can be an audience of one.
• You can be both shy and an exhibitionist.
• Exhibitionist isn’t just for submissives. In fact, many Dominants love the power of controlling their audience.
• Not every Exhibitionist is an attention whore and vice versa.

I’m sure I missed a few myths, and I’m sure some of you could fill in the blanks—and I hope you do.

Truth is, some of the sexiest things I’ve done were a thousand times heightened by both knowing someone could or was watching and/or the fear of getting caught.

While I know it’s not for everyone, there’s something incredibly freeing for me knowing I’m being watched, admired, and that my every move is exciting to my partner. The power I have over their arousal and my own is thrilling. So yeah, I’ll often kick it off with a mutual masturbation game. You sit on that sofa while I sit on the love seat across from you. I’ll touch myself. You’re welcome to watch and touch yourself, but you’re not allowed to touch me until I say so. Oh yeah… And please feel free to let me know how much you’re dying to touch me or for me to touch you. I’ll let you know when you’ve got the green light. 😉

Yes, in my humble opinion, sex should be fun and adventurous. It should be an exciting, exotic trip you take together.

What excites you? Are you more exhibitionist or voyeur? And maybe my kink isn’t yours… That’s ok. Yours might not be mine, either, but I’m always willing to share and explore and try to understand, so please feel free to give me your thoughts.

Combustion

Hot,

the spell of

sweet whispered

words,

erotic magic,

pictures seared

into brain

seductive

as blazing fire

licks trails on

heated body.

Tongue,

designs the path

velvet lips follow,

soft glances,

biting nips

score across

damp, heated skin.

Nipples taut,

begging

for firm attention,

suckling moisture

to stinging throb,

caught

between ivory teeth;

No mercy.

Pressure expands,

pleasure follows,

led to the core

of destruction

and ecstasy.

Hard fingers

tease,

wet seductive proof

of deepening hunger,

gentle flicks,

firm pressure,

controlling hand,

shudders course through

body uncontrolled,

throb of desire

pulses to center of the universe,

tiny nub,

begging,

waiting

to detonate.

With one word….

….COME!

Feminism and Submission: Kinky Coexistence #BOAW2018

In the last couple of years there has been a huge resurgence of attention and activism placed on feminism and women’s rights. We’ve had coordinated women’s rights marches, much more discussion around equality in pay, education, and career opportunities.

Yes, as a group we’ve become loud and proud, creating campaigns like #metoo and “Fight Like a Girl” designed to encourage our fellow woman to speak out and share in solidarity to the female sisterhood.

Even in movies we’ve been a force to be reckoned with….bringing out badasses and heroes like Arya, Khaleesi, Rey and Wonder Woman… and other movies like Black Panther and Hidden Figures where the women were strong, smart, and powerful. And this is all amazing. Really!

But I wonder sometimes if, in our battle for equality and power, we’ve lost some sensitivity and somehow managed to push others in our sisterhood into a deeper closet…made them doubt themselves and their acceptance in our new, fierce world.

Submission in a time where we’re calling on the badass women must be so difficult. I mean, living in the often highly misunderstood BDSM world is already tough. They already get the whole…blah, blah, blah…”abuse”,….blah, blah, blah…”Stockholm syndrome” crap from people with no understanding of the “Safe, Sane, and Consensual” lifestyle.

But now, when we’re talking about powerful women, I’m sure that there are many women fighting against their nature because somehow submission in this new world (not that it wasn’t already there a little bit) might make them seem weak or the ‘unfeminist.’ Or maybe their sisters will think maybe they’re not living up to their gender/power roles and are somehow encouraging female oppression, either silently make them feel like an insult or embarrassment to the cause, or outright say it…because they don’t understand.

And they’d be WRONG!

“A submissive is free to do whatever they desire, whenever they desire. Yet even with all their freedom, they choose to kneel. That is why submission is so beautiful.” ~ Unknown

My first contribution to Beauty of a Woman GirlBoner edition was Sacred Sexuality. At that time, I discussed my thoughts about being both a Christian and kinky. Why do I bring it up? Because I believe there’s something pretty sacred about the power exchange, too. Heck, people like to throw around the “wives submit unto your husbands” verses as a reason NOT to embrace Christianity, but I believe they don’t fully understand (or choose not to) the difference between submission and subjugation. Plus, the scriptures also say submit to each other, so it also doesn’t limit itself as a one way path down a gender specific street. Pronouns CAN be exchanged, in my opinion.

“The idea of submission is never meant to allow someone to overstep another’s boundaries. Submission only has meaning in the context of boundaries, for boundaries promote self-control and freedom. If a woman is not free and in control of herself, she is not submitting anyway. She is a slave subject to a slave driver, and she is out of the will of God.” ~ Henry Cloud

Submission is a physical, emotional, and mental act of consciously and deliberately giving oneself over into the loving care of another. Far from weak, it’s one of the hardest things to do, and only the strongest of soul and purpose is capable of giving up so much trust and placing it into a worthy Dominant’s hands.

“Fight for freedom when someone suppresses you.. Be submissive when someone gives freedom for you.” Shivaranjani Murugesan

I think that probably speaks to the strength, beauty , and power of submission pretty well. It takes a strong, self aware woman to willingly and knowingly walk this path. Isn’t that also what being a feminist is about? Knowing and understanding your needs and fearlessly reaching out and grabbing it? Being a trailblazer on a road less travelled? Knowing your true self and knowing what it takes to make yourself happy, then fearlessly reaching out for it, screw the voice of public opinion?

I mean, there’s something exquisitely beautiful about BDSM… It works because there’s an honesty to the relationship that you won’t find in many places. They realize that no one gets through life without a few wounds and scars, fears and insecurity. And it’s about building such a strong foundation in honesty and communication that you don’t hide the realest, ugliest parts of you. Because somehow, in the give and take that happens in such a surrender, they want those parts of you, too…and help you learn to accept and love even those darker parts of your soul that make you uniquely you. And it’s true on both sides of the relationship.

“I want the parts you’ve tried to throw away. The parts you were convinced no one could love.” ~ unknown

To me, the fearless strength a submissive has…to take their power and willingly, knowingly hand it over to someone worthy…well, if that’s not both powerful woman and feminist, I don’t know what is. It’s scary, sure. Misunderstood by many, absolutely. But true to your inner self? A beacon of strength that leaves many a Dominant in awe and grateful for the amazing gift? How could they not be?

Submissive, please don’t let yourself be stifled, squashed, or afraid because of the feminist message. YOU are the embodiment of EVERYTHING that makes a woman both powerful and a survivor.

Be fearlessly you!

This post is part of The Beauty of a Woman BlogFest VII! To read more entries, and potentially win a fun prize, click HERE. on August’s McLaughlin’s site between today and 11pm PST March 9th.

Sending you all Love and Empowerment!

Love Has Many Faces

Love isn’t limited to lovers. Lovers aren’t always in love. But everyone deserves to know someone loves them. Everyone deserves to be passionately desired at least once. And everyone deserves love bonded in friendship always.

For me, music is my favorite way to express love and/or passion.

Deana Carter does a great job of describing the unselfish love necessary to a lasting long termed relationship. The BDSM photo montage to depict it in this video? Sooo apropos.

And then there’s this one. Don’t mock; yes, it’s from Glee, but it’s an awesome sone of love, friendship, acceptance, and inclusion. And really, couldn’t we all use some of that these days?

And then there’s just that body and soul love and acceptance. John Legend sings it well here.

And Thomas Rhett, of course, does a pretty great job of showcasing what happy endings could look like.

What songs speak your love language & why?

Beauty of Taking the Lead #BOAW2017

This post is part of the Beauty of a Woman BlogFest VI GirlBoner edition! To read more entries, and potentially win a fun prize, visit the fest page on August’s McLaughlin’s site between today and 11pm PST March 11th.

I was 14 years old the first time I went against tradition and “asked a boy out” instead of waiting for him to ask me. He said yes, but the thing I remember most was the relief and elation on his face. It was then that I realized that women weren’t the only ones who felt pressure and anxiety within the expectations surrounding gender roles.

As I matured I found that I preferred being able to take charge, especially in the sexual dynamics of my relationships. In fact, I was seventeen the first time I thumb cuffed my much bigger, stronger boyfriend to our sofa and explored his chest and abs with my tongue. As a tiny girl of 5’3″ and 105 lbs, it was intoxicating to have such power and control of my 6’1″ athlete boyfriend. I had never felt so alive and in control as I did in that moment. And neither had he.

It was through experiences like these that I realized I was not designed for the stereotypes. Not everyone is. I knew I got a thrill from taking the lead, and realized there were plenty of men (and women) drawn to my self awareness and take charge attitude. Taking the power someone entrusted me with and bringing them the pleasure they sought was a heady rush that we shared together. Me as the giver, them as the taker, but both parties extremely satisfied.

I knew it wasn’t “the norm.” In fact, there were times where some men would judge my behaviors and assume I was a bitch or women would think my brand of confidence meant I was a lesbian. But so many more who needed my willingness and ability to charge gravitated towards me. I was lucky. I’d been raised by a parent who made it easy to be who I am.

All these things taught me that there are no “right” or “wrong” roles. There’s simply what each person is comfortable with and accepting that there’s always someone somewhere who needs what we have to offer, but that the real power is staying true to who you are and learning to be comfortable in your own skin instead of the mantle someone else tries to throw on you. It’s often easier said than done, but the satisfaction found from self acceptance? Sooo worth it.

What epiphanies have you had regarding your sexuality? What makes you uniquely you? Are you still discovering yourself?

I’m so glad that August McLaughlin and GirlBoner have given me the opportunity every year to share in female sisterhood and sexual empowerment! To me, these are the unltimate ways to share the different facets that make up the Beauty of a Woman.

Need

Image courtesy of ImageryMajestic at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Reach out,

Touch me,

Drill deep within my soul.

Lay me bare,

Unveil my passion–

Seduced by your heat,

A vision spread open,

Naked;

Vulnerable for you.

Ravish me

With pure emotion;

Secret desires

Unmasked.

Unleash the fury

Of your storm,

Wild and unbridled.

Release control,

Expose your need.

Trust my heart

To guard your fire,

To breathe in

Your relentless hunger–

Transforming me

To

Wanton bliss.

Virgin, Vanilla, or Virtuoso – It’s All About Sexual Freedom #BOAW16

Being part of August McLaughlin’s Beauty of a Woman, especially the Girl Boner edition gives me a chance for reflection and candid sexual discussion, something I enjoy immensely and hope you do, too. In fact, when you finish here, I challenge you to check out the other participants and what they shared. I guarantee you’ll walk away empowered and enlightened….and now, on to my story.

There’s this myth that says people have to actually have sex to own their sexuality. Once upon a time I may have even agreed with them…but as I’ve matured, I’ve started to view things differently.

Although I didn’t know it at the time, one of my defining moments sexually occurred when I was in my late teens.

If I knew then what I know now, I probably would’ve taken more precautions, but it’s often through living life that we learn those important lessons. At the age of 18, I had no idea that one little experience with slightly younger (he was 17) boyfriend would give me the beginners guide to my preferred sexual kinks.

It was a lazy Saturday afternoon. I was hanging out with my boyfriend and our mutual best friend. Because of my constant “take charge” attitude, our best friend thought it would be a hilarious gag to give me a set of thumb cuffs to play with. I don’t think, in a million years, he thought I’d actually do anything. But I did.

Like any typical hormone crazed teenager, that afternoon was spent making out with the boyfriend. My best friend was laying across my living room sofa, so we were laying on the carpet. My best friend, ever the comedian, threw a blanket over us and told us to “get a room.”

I remember the blanket dropping and the comment because it managed to momentarily break up the kiss as we laughed. But the implied privacy also sent a thrill of daring through me. Before my boyfriend knew exactly what was happening, I was straddling his hips (He was 6′ to my 5’3″), my fingers twined in his, and his hands were raised over his head while I controlled our kiss. He didn’t even realize that I’d snapped the thumb cuffs on, effectively trapping him to the couch leg until he felt the metal touch his skin.

Yup. I had that whole 6′ tall male gymnast’s body at my mercy to play with as I chose. And I teased him, exploring his body with my hands and mouth to my heart’s content and he was powerless to stop me.

Looking back I think– Wow.

He should’ve had a safe word. Except we didn’t even know what that was back then.

It also solidified in my mind that I got off on the sexual power. I got off on taking a much bigger, stronger guy than me and bending him to my will, his pleasure and pain at my mercy.

As I looked backward, I also realized I thrived on both the audience and the threat of being caught. Danger and exhibitionism did it for me in a big way.

I was lucky. That particular boyfriend’s kinks lined up with mine. The “Wow! Oh My God, that was amazing. When can we do it again” were definite clues. My use of bondage had him hard enough to pound nails. My teasing him mercilessly and using his body as my own personal playground, making him beg, drove him wild with lust. We both thrilled at the power exchange that we didn’t quite understand.

Now, knowing what I do, I realize that the only smart things we did that day were making sure he could communicate or say no and having someone else in the room to witness or stop things should they have gotten out of control or gone wrong.

That day taught me what I liked. It led me to explore Dominance and submission more deeply, especially since it seemed practically ingrained into my DNA. And it taught me to communicate.

And every woman’s epiphany is going to be different, just as their experiences. What’s become most clear is that the most important things are a willingness to learn, self awareness, and communication.

For me, there’s nothing sexier than knowing someone who can easily overpower me voluntarily gives up his control to me in order for me to bring us both intense pleasure. For someone else it could be something completely different.

And it doesn’t matter if you’re still a virgin (hey, masturbation could be your kink, or it could be that you don’t have much of a drive-and that’s okay!) or not. Heck, maybe kink isn’t your thing… Whatever it is, own it. Celebrate it.

Share your thoughts and fantasies with your partner (if you have one). Be self aware… Look into yourself and don’t be afraid to embrace your inner sex goddess…in whatever form she may take.

You deserve it, and you’re worth it!

If you’re feeling brave, I’d love to hear from you… What prompted your sexual awakening? When did you realize that’s what it was?

What Makes Me #Embraceable?

Everyone is just a little bit different. It’s what makes us beautiful AND what bonds us.

But how often have you lost yourself?

Forgot to believe in you?

Been afraid to show your true colors?

Your sexuality?

I’ve been fortunate to work together with August McLaughlin and some of the most beautiful souls in the world to bring this labor of love to you guys…and it’s finally released on paperback!

Here’s a little bit of what I shared in the book on the subject of “Slut” Shaming:

Maybe part of me is still that young girl, fighting back against those bullies

who dared name me a “slut.” Maybe it’s simply my way of trying to help other

people understand that there’s nothing wrong or dirty about sex, but rather the

shaming and judgment that seem to follow it.

 

Yes, there’s more to the story than that….but you’ll have to read it to find out more. I truly believe that this book is powerful enough to change the world if we let it…

And the voice who brought us together? Well, August is generously doing a giveaway right HERE to celebrate the release of this amazing book that includes jewelry, gift cards, and more!

But if you’d like to purchase your own copy, please… feel free! Part of the proceeds are going to supply womens shelters with much needed feminine hygiene products! Buy your copy HERE!

And while you’re there… you can always pick up a copy of my book, Four One Night, which is on sale this weekend for $.99!

But, back to the above questions….

What makes you Embraceable?

Everything!

Embraceable YOU!

Today I woke up to the best surprise. 

Yes, it happened. The surprise project created by the lovely August McLaughlin of GirlBoner went live on Amazon Kindle today! On her blog she shares some of her favorite things about this project. I feel so fortunate to be included as a contributor on such an important body of work. 

This was truly a labor of love for my friend and the many other gifted contributors. 

Here are some early editorials for Embraceable:

“Sassy, spicy, and deceptively wise, this book will empower you to own your sexual self and enjoy your romantic life–and your whole life–a great deal more.” — Victoria Moran, author of Creating a Charmed Life

“August McLaughlin takes on sexuality, body image, depression and female empowerment head on! One part memoir, one part sociological manifesto = something of interest for women of all ages. She hit the nail on the head with this book. Frank personal stories and interviews interspersed throughout the book help us unpack our personal inner conflicts that when unexamined suck the joy out of the female experience.” — Cheryl Grant M.A., M.F.T.

“Let this book give women back their imagination and ownership of their sexual story to write the one that truly lets them know, feel and experience the level of pleasure and connection their hearts most desire.” — Megan Fleming, Ph.D.

Like Shere Hite, Erica Jong and Nancy Friday, McLaughlin’s work is notable not just for women, but for anyone seeking a deeper understanding of their sexual and spiritual self. Embraceable is just that.” — M.G. Miller

I hope you’ll find this book as enriching and rewarding as I did!

And on that note, I’d like to share a holiday song that leaves me feeling a bit spiritual. 

@NBlackthorne is Wild, Wicked, and Wanton

 

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Erotic Romance set in Regency Era

America with heroines who are Wild, Wicked and Wanton.

She wanted

just one naughty carriage ride…

 

Beth McConnell has a secret.

Sometimes in the afternoons, she escapes the drudgery of her family’s

shop and seduces wealthy gentlemen. One encounter is all Beth allows.

She must leave them burning.

When she boldly seduces Grey

Sexton, a powerful shipping magnate, Beth finds his ice-over-fire

combination of ironclad self-control and sensual indulgence too

tempting to resist. Surely, one or two more clandestine trysts

wouldn’t hurt?

But Grey Sexton demands more. His possessive

determination to own her, body and soul, threatens to expose her erotic life. To give into his demands means losing her good name

and her place in her brother’s home…everything she holds dear. She

must turn away, for she knows that a poor girl can never afford to

trust her heart to a gentleman.

Reader Advisory: Grey’s Lady

is an erotic / hot historical romance. It contains scenes of

frequent, explicit sex and graphic sexual language. It contains a

non-traditional romance plot and an  unconventional heroine.

 

White

Lace and Promises

 

New York Merchant Prince Grey Sexton

loves the audacious, spirited young temptress who seduced him in a

Philadelphia bookseller’s and made passionate love to him in his

carriage. Her fiery nature broke through his cold self-protection.

Beth McConnell loves her husband-to-be very much, yet she

wonders if she will ever be able to present herself as the

respectable lady he needs for his wife.

What started out as a

secret, tumultuous affair has blossomed into something neither of

them can live without. But under the strains created by the

differences in their social rank, they begin to have serious doubts

about the future. And dark secrets from their past threaten to tear

them apart.

Can their love prevail?

 

Reader Advisory: Erotic Romance,

graphic sexual content, frank sexual slang.

Alex’s Angel

 

In the wake of a devastating epidemic,

sheltered Emily Eliot finds herself alone, making her own decisions

for the first time. When desperation leads her to sell her virtue,

she walks straight into trouble.

Enter one gorgeous, golden

haired gentleman bent on protecting her.

Alexander Dalton

came to the Blue Duck Tavern seeking to lose himself in sexual

pleasure. But when he saw the delicate and vulnerable young woman, he

couldn’t turn away.

Emily is alarmed by her own intense

responses as this charismatic and carnal man introduces her to erotic

pleasure. Having lived as a virtual prisoner of her grandmother’s

suffocating manipulation, Emily bridles under Alex’s possessive,

protectiveness. And Alex’s charming smile hides a dark secret that

could destroy their chance at happiness.

Reader Advisory: Erotic romance,

graphic sexual content, frank sexual slang, sensual spanking.

Emily’s

Seduction

Book Four in the Wild, Wicked and Wanton Series

Love is the most seductive sacrifice of all. Before

he can share his deepest, darkest secrets with her, he has to show

her what seduction truly means.

For the first time in

a long time, Alex is genuinely happy. He’s found a woman he can love.

Now he wants only to enjoy his life. But the past won’t let him go.

His dark secrets threaten to engulf him. Yet how can he tell his

innocent fiancée about the horrific things he’s experienced?

Emily finds herself locked in a battle with the

darkness that appears to hold Alex captive. As he reveals more of his

inner torment, as he seduces her into carnal decadence, she wonders

who is this man she’s so desperately in love with.

 

Can

their love survive this intense journey of erotic exploration,

shocking revelations and unsettling discoveries?

*** Reader

Advisory ***

Emily’s Seduction is an Erotic / Hot Historical

Romance and contains frequent scenes of explicit sex and uses graphic

language. Emily’s Seduction also features sensual spanking, toys,

voyeurism and one scene of ménage MfM. The characters discuss

backstory issues of abuse, slavery and violence.

Add

the Wild, Wicked and Wanton Series Bundle by Natasha Blackthorne to

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Natasha Blackthorne

Natasha Blackthorne writes hot & sensual Erotic

Historical Romance where deeply flawed characters find love &

trust. Her stories are most frequently about the intimate journey of

the characters as they learn to open their hearts to love.

Natasha’s heroines are not perfect ladies. They are

wildflowers and wallflowers who flirt with the forbidden. Whether

they are bold or shy, these heroines’ strong desires and deep

emotions drive the plot and drive their heroes to the point of no

return. Natasha’s heroes are strong and dominant and live their

lives with strength and purpose. They support their women in

everything.

Natasha holds a B.A. in History, loves reading, cats

and music. Readers are welcomed to Friend her on Facebook where she

is most socially active online.

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