Sensual Sweet Spots

Crawl into her mind

Recently I wrote an article for the Sexual Wellness News site called The Orgasmic Body: Sexual Anatomy Basics. (Psst! I’d really appreciate if you’d head over, check it out, and maybe give it some love.) As often happens with me, the article set my mind wandering…. I mean, how could it not? We’re basically talking erogenous zones. Is there a better subject suited to my passions?

The thing is, although the article delves into the physiological, the biggest sex organ, though mentioned, was pretty much glossed over. Did you catch it? It was mentioned in the first paragraph. (I’m not going to mention it here, because I’d love for you to read the article, then come back and tell me which referral I’m flirting around.)

In that article we discussed the basics. The obvious basic. What we didn’t discuss were those sexy little nooks and crannies that we discover on ourselves and our lovers with careful and fun loving exploration. For example, did you know that the shoulder blade can be an erogenous zone? Yeah, neither did my virgin self until my boyfriend (now my husband) decided to plant his first kiss….a soft pressure of lips left on my right shoulder blade. I felt that one delicate, sensual touch go from my back to my nipples, and head further south. And all he did was lay his lips there until I felt the irresistible urge to turn around, wrap my fingers around the nape of his neck and pull his face down to mine for a kiss burned up as quickly as a wildfire.

Pulse points are erogenous zones that often get neglected once a couple is in a steady or long term relationship. The inside of the wrist, the sweet spot on the neck. Or spots like the inside of the elbow or back of the knees. And here’s the thing, ladies…. We’re not the only ones that go a little melty when those hyper sensitive spots get special attention. Men have sweet spots, too!

Have you ever wondered why it is that your man goes a little wild when, in the throes of passion, you forget yourself enough to bite down on their trapezius muscle? Or maybe it’s when you decide to rain down licks and kisses on the small of their back. Are you one who gives the cock plenty of play and appreciation, but maybe not so much his balls?

And what about the “taint” area? Lots of sensitivity there for both men and women. In fact, if you’re playing in the shower, and you’re feeling daring, have you rimmed your lover’s ass hole? Or allowed attention to yours? To be clear, I only mention shower because many find that area to be unsanitary, so it’s best to be either prepared or someplace where it’s being/has been cleaned. For men, that area can be mind blowing if they’re comfortable and/or willing to relax and let their partner explore. In fact, when properly prepared, it can be a pretty incredible experience for women, too. (Hasn’t anyone wondered why MFM ménages are all the rage these days? Because there are plenty of women who fantasize…)

There are so many awesome, incredible spots that we need to take the time to explore! With an open mind, you’d be amazed at what your partner might share with you, and how it can enhance your sex life. As one who is always learning, I’d love to throw this question to you guys…. What unexpected erogenous zones have you discovered? Was it a discovery on your partner'(s) body or yours? Yes, there’s a strong chance I will be taking your answers and exploring to see if it’s a spot that works for me, too.

As always, remember that just because a sweet spot works for one person doesn’t mean it works for everyone. BTW, ya’ll also know how much I love Aloe Cadabra. Have you seen their latest post on unusual uses people have found for their lube? I definitely appreciate their traditional uses, too, but I thought you guys might get a kick…because I was the one who used it to treat an insect sting on my dog. Hey, don’t laugh. It worked!

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Seduction of Summer

Not too long ago I wrote an article for Sexual Wellness News about the importance of revving up the sex life. Writing it for them, though much more technical than you guys ever see on here, reminded me of the many reasons I’ve always loved this time of year.

As many of you know, I’m not much of a snow person. In fact, I like my snow to arrive between Christmas eve and Christmas day. Period. So as entertained as I may be by posts from my friends from the great white north, it’s not something I’d want for myself. In fact, all it took was a couple of blizzards from back home in Chicago (and a 2 day power outage to go with it) to convince me it was time to search for sunnier skies.

My husband lovingly calls me a closet nudist and he’s not far from wrong. One of the great joys of summertime is the opportunity to throw off articles of clothing that you’ve deemed “necessary to keep you warm” during the less gentle seasons. Ladies, how many times have you found yourself checking out some washboard abs as a guy has decided to shuck his shirt? Gentlemen, how many of you dig seeing your girl in a sundress and flip flops or go to the beach to check out the bikinis? Yes. The ability to take it off is pretty phenomenal. (And if you haven’t tried it because you’re nervous about your body…you should. You’d be amazed at how freeing it feels. And you might also be surprised at how easy it is to accept yourself just a bit more when you’re doing it for pleasure, not analysis in the mirror trying to imagine how “everyone else” sees you.)

Enjoying my pool, libation in hand

Enjoying my pool, libation in hand

Summertime is also a great opportunity to enjoy playful outdoor excursions. If you’re as fortunate as me, sometimes you don’t have to go past your back door. (And if you’ve got enough privacy, it can be a clothing optional event as well!) Okay, so not everyone has a pool in their back yard. What other options are there? How about picnics in the park? Visits to the beach? Outdoor concerts? Neighborhood festivals? So many fun-loving options!

Best of all are summer vacation trips. Isn’t there something very appealing about going someplace where no one knows you? Where you can let your hair down and be whomever you’d like? How would some random stranger know that going to a nude beach is something you’d never have the guts to do at home? Who cares if you and your partner decide to act out the fantasy of inviting a stranger into your bed for one night only….protected, of course. Or maybe, if that’s not your thing….you and your partner can role play. Pretend to be strangers. Let him or her pick you up in the bar and ravish you before you even make it back to your hotel room. Heck, sex on the beach is more than just a drink, you know…. (And if you have an aversion to sand, the side of a building or the back seat of a car works quite nicely, too.)

And if you don’t have a partner….it doesn’t mean you can’t have fun. Wild, hot, torrid connections are so much fun to explore. You’ve got a whole lot of options available to you. Just remember. Confidence is sexy. Pretty eyes and great smiles can seduce a person from half way across a room before a word is even spoken.

Yes, to me, sun and summertime is all about possibility and adventure with a ton of exploration. And vacation is the perfect time to leave reality behind and explore to your heart’s desire. We don’t have to go into these adventures blindly. Make sure to pack a bunch of condoms and a great quality lube… in fact, besides being organic, Aloe Cadabra is a great choice for so many reasons….and not just because they have a Piña Colada flavor. Yeah. I’m a HUGE fan. Can you tell?

Oh, and in case anyone was wondering…. So far this summer I’ve already enjoyed one concert. Hunter Hayes’ “We are not Invisible” tour with Danielle Bradbery and Dan + Shay. Next month I’m headed out to Chicago for a long weekend to visit my sister and see Blake Shelton, the Band Perry and Neal McCoy….and hopefully an outdoor concert at Ravinia, too.

Now it’s your turn…. What about summertime seduces you?

PS. For those of you who’ve read it, any adventurous likenesses to my book Three For All may have a LOT to do with my love of the season. 😉

Condoms, Kinks, and Hijinks

Have you ever wondered what your friends think of you? Well, yesterday gave me a dose of hilarity while answering what my pal, Jenny Hansen (of the More Cowbell fame) thinks of me…or at least where she thinks my mind is most of the time. She tagged me on Facebook with the following image and this message:

Kitt, I just laughed my butt off. I ran a search for you to catch up on your posts and here was the result. I about fell off my chair. LOL.”

Courtesy of Jenny Hansen

Courtesy of Jenny Hansen

I admit it. I giggle snorted immediately…because the first thing that drew my eye was what drew hers.

What can I say? Sex comes up a lot when I’m around. But only in the best possible way. As you’ve probably noticed by the post titles, there’s also not much I won’t talk about.

Which actually leads right into the whole condoms and kinks portion.

As a few of you might remember from my piercings post, I am in a private facebook group where the members love to read and talk kink of all sorts. There are no judgments, you can ask questions, you can talk fetishes…and share the hottest, sexiest reads you’ve discovered with likeminded individuals.

My pal, Anna, from Herding Cats and Burning Soup threw out a question to the group a week or two ago surrounding fetishes. She asked the group what specific fetishes they loved to read about. Not authors. Kinks. Mine were easy…and not much of a shock to those who’ve read my books because a lot of it is also what I enjoy writing. I LOVE M/M/F ménages, especially if there’s some bisexual play between the guys. I also love D/s power exchanges (and I’m not gender specific on who wields the whip). I’m also hugely intrigued by rope bondage, specifically shibari, and think I’d like to take a class to learn how. Heck, Fet-con in Tampa is only a hop-skip-and-a-jump away. Maybe I should sign up.

Anyway, as often happens with this group, things devolve into hilarity…and this time it was all about a condom. As some of you know, bare backing can be considered a kink if/when you’re involved in what folks may consider a “risky” lifestyle. (For those of you wondering, bare backing is another word for unprotected sex.) Anna pointed out that in these books the heroes are usually quite big players at the beginnings of these books until they meet their “soul mates.” So, for her, condoms are a must. Then she went on to lament that although most of her favorite authors use condoms in their stories, she’d love a little variety…like glow in the dark. When she said that, my brain responded with “challenge accepted.”

This, of course, got me thinking. Sex and fantasies. What type of fantasies get you hot under the collar? Are you a ménage person, like me? Does the idea of exhibitionism get your furnace fired up? Or maybe it’s roleplay games. You know. The naughty college student caught cheating on the test by teacher. Or the been caught speeding one where you have to talk the big, bad officer out of writing you that ticket so your license doesn’t get suspended. Yeah… there are all sorts of options.

And as for that condom challenge? Yeah…. I’ve promised her Glow-in-the-dark in NEON GREEN, of course! But ya’ll know me. I like to push the envelope. I fully anticipate a sort of Lightsaber theme and “crossed swords.” Anyone have any color recommendations? LOL!

Also, I’ve got to send a huge THANK YOU to my incredible pal, August McLaughlin. She introduced me to the folks at Sexual Wellness News, and they’ve hired me to write the occasional article for them! My first one was just posted at the end of last month and it’s all about How to Rev Up Your Sex Life! Please go over there, check it out, along with the other awesome articles (August is one of their contributors), and share the love!