I’ll be honest… I love this song. I think it’s fun and flirty and playful.
But, I don’t really take this particular song past that because the words are a bit mercenary. It’s really all “me, me, me” and places a ton of value in things that don’t really matter. I’m sure, by the earlier songs, you’ve already figured out where my values are….
Are there songs you enjoy, but don’t embrace the concepts?
…reminding us to snuggle up with some wonderful company. This particular holiday song reminds is that there’s a joyful sense of fun with letting our inner children to come out and play, keeping our hearts warm. What holiday song brings out your fun, silly side?
My friend, Jenny Hansen, posted an Undie Chronicle on More Cowbell yesterday regarding Panty-O and kegel panties. Yes. They DO exist.
As usually happens on Jenny’s blogs, funny, quirky conversation ensued… Of course I participated. Here’s what I said and Jenny’s response. :
Kitt Crescendo says:
So how strange is it that these kegel panties had me thinking Night Court and Dan Fielding? This sort of thing seemed right up his alley. LOL!
As there are people that walk around with plugs in even more delicate places down south, I’m pretty sure you’d be able to survive the Panty-O fitness regime if you chose to create one for you. I’m also positive that there are a bunch of us on here who would be happy to create little reminder ditties for you…;-)
So of course, when she challenged me to write a ditty, I couldn’t resist. Here are a couple songs I made to encourage Jenny to put on these panties.
The first one goes to the tune of Itsy Bitsy Teenie Weenie Yellow Polka Dot Bikini. For those of you unfamiliar with the song, I’ve included the original.
Itsy Bitsy Plastic Thingie
She was afraid to come out of the bathroom,
She was as nervous as she could be.
She was afraid to come out of the bathroom
She was afraid of the work out panty.
1 – 2- 3- 4
Tell the people what she wore!
It was an itsy bitsy plastic thingie
Tucked inside her brief bikini
She had to squeeze
As she went through her day.
An itsy bitsy plastic thingie
Tucked inside her brief bikini
So in the bathroom
She wanted to stay.
1 – 2 – 3 – 4
Stick around, we’ll tell you more!
She was afraid it would feel very awkward,
So she almost put it in a drawer.
She was afraid it would feel very awkward
But she wore them and went for the door.
1 – 2 – 3 -4
Tell the people what she wore!
It was an itsy bitsy plastic thingie
Tucked inside her brief bikini
She had to squeeze
As she went through her day.
An itsy bitsy plastic thingie
Tucked inside her brief bikini
Her lady bits
Would get stronger each day.
1 – 2 – 3 – 4
Stick around we’ll tell you more!
Now she’s afraid to be seen out in public
And I wonder what she’s gonna do.
She’s afraid to be seen out in public
But maybe others are wearing them, too.
1 – 2 – 3 – 4
Tell the people what she wore!
It was an itsy bitsy plastic thingie
Tucked inside her brief bikini
She had to squeeze
As she went through her day
An itsy bitsy plastic thingie
Tucked inside her brief bikini
I cheered her on
With a hip hip hooray!
From the bathroom to the drawer,
From the drawer to the door,
From the door to out in public
And now her girl bits are sore.
But wait! I’m not done! Just in case she didn’t like this one, I created another one….to the tune of YMCA… and since Natalie was so kind as to point out to Jenny that she’d already “gone there” with a post, I thought it only right I include her in the song, too. 😉
Now everyone’s familiar with this song, but it’s fun, so I’m posting it anyway….
Kegels Each Day
Jenny,
Don’t let your girl parts down.
I said Jenny,
Uterus off the ground.
I said Jenny,
There are panties around
That can help you fix this problem.
Jenny,
There’s a place you can go
I said Jenny,
If you’ve got enough dough.
You can buy them
And I’m sure you will find
Use them
They’ll be worth ev’ry dime.
Chorus:
It’s always fun to do
Kegels each day.
It’s always fun to do
Kegels each day.
They will strengthen your “P”
You might even enjoy
The side benefits with your boy.
It’s always fun to do
Kegels each day.
It’s always fun to do
Kegels each day.
You can squeeze yourself strong
While you’re having a meal.
You can squeeze whenever you feel.
Jenny,
Are you list’ning to me?
I said Jenny,
What do you want to see?
I said Jenny,
You can buy some with bling
But you’ve go to wear this one thing.
Jenny,
You’re not all by yourself
I said Jenny,
Nat’s got some on her shelf
So just order
From the Panty-O Store
I’m sure they would love to help more.
Back up to Chorus
Jenny,
This is better than shoes
I said, don’t be
Down and out with the blues.
You can fix this,
Bring your girl parts to life
Wear them when you go for a drive.
That’s how
You will start to believe
I said Jenny,
You will no longer grieve
You’ll be thankful
You found something to do
Made your lady bits feel brand new.
Back up to Chorus
So now you’ve seen my little ditties. But I know you guys… You’re all a ton of fun and a bit quirky. I want to see what kind of ditties you come up with! Time to put those creative minds to action and join in the fun and silliness… Don’t leave me hangin’ guys! 😉
I’m in the mood to be mildly inappropriate, and I’m taking you guys along for the ride…as usual.
So here’s the deal, I woke up this morning in a soft, kind of romantic mood. As often happens with me, though, my music led me down a slightly different path…and got me thinking.
About boundaries.
I know, strange, right? But here’s the deal…. I absolutely loved Pitch Perfect.
Maybe it’s the whole growing up singing thing.
Either way, there are some really cool songs in the movie, but there was a specific scene that was stuck in my head this morning. How many times have you heard the question “Do you sing in the shower?” I don’t know about you, but I’ve heard it a bunch! So imagine doing just that only to be accosted by a virtual stranger while you’re completely naked. For those of you who may not have seen the movie…that’s exactly what happened in this scene. For those of you who had…enjoy!
You know what cracked me up about the whole thing? If someone walked into my naked space and refused to leave, I’d probably push my way out. In this universe, it was cause for a duet! Did anyone else kinda crack up when Brittany Snow told Anna Kendrick that the song was her “lady jam” because “it builds and it builds”? Wow, talk about oversharing as the icing to the personal space issues…LOL!
I guess the good part was that it led to auditions…and one of my all time favorite songs in the movie.
But of course, with my brain being as convoluted as it is…thoughts of personal space issues got me thinking about another favorite movie, The Sweetest Thing.
What scene am I talking about? Why the one where Selma Blair gets stuck on a prince albert piercing, of course! I mean, seriously. Can you imagine? You get stuck wrapped around some man’s Johnson and by the time your roommates come home the police, fire department, mailman, pizza delivery guy, nurse and half the neighborhood are in your apartment watching you drool around his cock? Who invited them all in? And why on earth didn’t the nurse think of trying to help the poor woman relax her throat? See for yourself….
Nothing says relax the throat quite like singing Aerosmith, right? A little factoid to remember when playing with men with Prince Alberts….just sayin’. 😉
No matter how I look at it, though, the song that makes this girl party complete is The Penis Song…
So now I’d like you to share some stuff with me… Like what awkward movie musical moments make you laugh? Or How would you have reacted to any of these situations? Have you even seen either of these movies? What parts made you laugh? How do you feel about people invading your personal space? If you’re female (and straight), how do you feel about Prince Albert piercings? Have you ever “tried” one? If you’re a guy, do you have one? Hahahahaha! Ya’ll knew I had to ask… If you want to be safe, you can just tell me what you sing in the shower…that’s always good, too. 😉
I remember being a young girl and hearing this song… Something about it resonated with me…and made me want to move to Tennessee…LOL! I never actually moved there, but I discovered later that I have a love for Nashville if for no other reason than I love country music and their ballads. There’s also something about how she and Vince harmonize that I really enjoy. Who knows…I’m still reasonably young…I could find my way there.
The funny thing is, there’s controversy about this video because she wrote this song back in her youth with her ex-husband, Gary Chapman. Here, she’s singing it with a good friend…who she later marries. Regardless of the circumstances, it’s a beautiful song. She sang it well with both men…and does an amazing job singing it alone. But she married young. It didn’t work out. Speculation is that she overshadowed him with her fame…and that led to him making some catastrophic life choices. Maybe…maybe not. Fame is a difficult thing, I think. At the end of the day…I choose to chalk it up to youth….and just enjoy the song.
Amy Grant’s Christmas albums have always been my all time favorites…they just feel so heartfelt. After you hear it…I’m sure you’ll get why I thought Tennessee had to be awesome. I know it’s not the only song out there written about a specific state or country…Do you have a song that resonated so much you wanted to live there when you heard it? What was the song and where did it make you want to go?
I was going to begin our “Choose Your Own Adventure” story today, but decided to postpone it so that I could do our project justice. (Yes, based on all the feedback and support you guys have given me, I’ve begun to think of it as OURS).
Not only is today my writer’s association meeting, I’ve also been battling a 2 plus day migraine. Today has been the first day I haven’t felt like falling to my knees and weeping like a baby, so I got a few things done around the house. In a little more than a week I’ll be leaving for my anual trek to Dallas to watch my Cowboys play…for those of you who follow the sport, I’ll be watching them play the Giants. (I’ll also get to meet Jay Novacek) Co Cowboys!
Immediately following our trip to Texas, my awesome sister and her husband will be coming to visit. Since the parental units now live down here, we’ll be having an “early Thanksgiving” during their stay. This means houseguests…both for when my girl friend comes to doggie sit my babies while I’m in Big D and again when my sis and bro come down. Clean, clean, clean…that will be me for the next few days. Never fear, though, it won’t interfere with my blogging. 🙂 I’ve come to really enjoy doing this and consider it my “me” time.
Onto my good news…one of the guys I sing with has written a song. He has reached out and asked me to collaborate with him and come up with some lyrics. What an honor! He sent me the music this week…now it’s up to me to come up with the rest. Cross your fingers for me!
Anyway, my buddy Emma mentioned Harry Chapin the other day in one of her blogs…and it got me to thinking about his daughter…Mary Chapin-Carpenter. I want to share two songs with you guys from her repertoire. One is the first song I ever heard her perform…and she knocked it out of the park (no wonder she’s so respected for her talent in the music industry). It is called “Opening Act”. The second one is about how things can sometimes go wrong. With my headache, I’ve felt like “The Bug” this week, which, incidentally, is the name of the second song.
How has your day been?
So, I've been spanked, hard! I have spanked myself hard, I have spanked others even harder! I'm now heading for a different road, one that still includes all the best bits of me, all the naughty bits, all the hot steamy bits, and plenty of spanking still to be had! But this time I'm creating characters to play out my delightful erotic fantasies, I hope you enjoy the new ride as much as the previous one...
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ROFLMAO!!! Do create a reminder ditty. Please, please do.
I’m a little frightened by this Night Court analogy, but I guess, it’s better Dan than the bailiff…