Sexy Black Rope Bondage by mizsmith courtesy of indulgy.com
Cloak my sight in velvet dark,
Hide away the day.
Blind me from the prying eyes
Until the world is far away.
Engulf me in your fantasy,
Tease me with your power;
Self controlled seduction,
Waiting to devour.
With silken cords, gentle touch,
Bind me till I’m free.
Wrap me snug, away from harm
Your voice, a constant melody.
Paint seduction with your lips,
Enflame me from within,
Till all I know and think and feel;
Your touch upon my skin.
Take my body, hard and deep,
Impassioned by your lust,
Steal my breath, dissolve my thoughts
Till I scream with every thrust.
Guide me safe and let me soar,
Fearless in my bliss,
Freed within your mastery,
To savor passion’s kiss.
There’s always been something extremely beautiful and seductive to me about rope bondage. Okay, so the reality is that I’d rather learn how to be the rigger (aka the person doing the tying), but I still think it’s incredibly beautiful.
Truth is, the first time I ever experimented with bondage, I was about 17 years old. I noticed that by taking away my (then) boyfriend’s ability to move, he was better able to relax and enjoy it, trusting me to take care of him. For me, that was empowering. When combined with something like sensory deprivation (blindfolds, etc.), it can be pretty mind blowing.
The thing to remember is that trust and communication are hugely important anytime you’re delving into these areas. Please, if you decide to play, have a safe word in place. And if you’re dealing in bondage, make sure you have a way to quickly release the person entrusting you with their safety so that if they panic, no one gets hurt.
By the way, I was interviewed Fiona Mcvie’s blog today, too. She likes to chat it up with authors, so I’d really appreciate if you checked it out. I even left an excerpt for my next book over there. 😉
I watch you,
Big and strong,
You tower over me,
Air of barely leashed
The urge to ride
Your inner storm,
Harness your power,
Bend you to my will,
For my pleasure
Command your passion
With a word;
Never reached alone;
The match sparked,
Igniting the flame of need
Fueled by your hunger
And be taken.
Led by my desire,
Your inferno within
With need to
Kneel before me;
A show of trust,
To my able hands,
Of letting go,
Into my care,
A fire in your veins.
Watch me dance
Into your fire…
Shaft of hard heat
Mine to guide,
The point of no return
On my command,
Of fiery bliss
And molten heat.
We’ve all heard the saying “different strokes for different folks.” All a person has to do is look around to see the factual reality of that saying. So why does it seem like such a difficult thing to accept and acknowledge when referencing sex? Some of you may be ready to reject the notion out of hand, but hold on for a second while I state my case.
Over the years I’ve come across some pretty interesting sexual kinks/preferences. Many of them are fairly common. Some like to get their hair pulled or their bottoms spanked or both. Some like to be the spanker/hair puller. Some of us have exhibitionist streaks. As the girl who confessed to road head and more, obviously I fall into this category, though there are those who prefer the tamer “accidental” peep shows. Our counterparts are the people who get intensely excited by watching…or voyeurs. Of course there’s also bondage (those who like to tie up, and who like being tied up). I was 18 the first time I restrained someone in a sexual way.
Yes, a lot of the above also incorporates the power exchange that happens when the person’s desire it to yield submission to another person who is into taking control. Sometimes standing alone (no power exchange) or also falling into this world (when power exchanges are incorporated) are the folks who enjoy more than one partner at the same time.
Also surprisingly popular are foot fetishes. For some that means admiring and worshipping pretty toes. For others, it goes deeper. Some love the earthy smells of sweaty feet. Others wish to give foot massages or bathe those dirty feet with their tongues. Others simply want to paint those toenails or have those dainty feet walk all over their bodies (sometimes in high heels).
Some people have more exotic tastes.
I remember talking to one young lady who was fixated on having sex in church sanctuary. Not gonna lie, I’ve done it in the parking lot, but I draw the line at actually entering a “house of God” for copulation purposes. Of course, it would stand to reason that my personal beliefs probably play a part in my discomfort. It may have worked for her, but it definitely wasn’t my cup of tea, but that was okay. That was her thing, not mine.
One woman, a female dominant, I’d become friendly with once shared with me how she had somehow become entranced checking posteriors; putting on surgical gloves and “cleaning them up.” Oddly enough, she was a nurse and thus qualified to go rooting around back there. I admit, the image wasn’t something I cared to keep in my mind. Again, like before, it wasn’t for me, but that was fine.
Many of us have heard of golden showers. Some have even assumed that this couldn’t possibly be a “real” thing. I mean, who would get into the various areas that this sort of play delves into? But it’s real. In fact, it’s as real as cross-dressing or people who enjoy wearing diapers and treated like babies. Heck, even CSI featured a fetish where everyone dressed up like a stuffed animal.
So if there are so many parts of sex that are less than vanilla, why is it that people seem to struggle with acceptance? Is it really so hard to simply say “It’s not my kink” and let it go? No judgment, no disdain. Just a simple acknowledgement that what works for one person may not work for the next and leave it at that.
For that matter, why do people struggle so hard to deny the things that excite them rather than acknowledge the truth and create a fulfilling sex lives for themselves in their relationships? Why do they hide their interests, deny what draws them and pretend it doesn’t exist? Why do their desires become a shameful secret rather than something they communicate with their partner(s)?
My dear friend, Professor Taboo, recently asked me in the comments portion of his Expectations post a question that I’ve been thinking a lot about. “Whether we get or not what we seek from others, is it reasonable to EXPECT the type of open, authentic, proactive communication…and as you pointed out, expecting that level communication whether there were sexual experiences or not? Is the real issue sexual experiences!?”
I thought it was a great question, and the only thing I could come up with for both the way we react to people whose desires deviate from ours as well as from the passions we refuse to acknowledge within ourselves is that we allow fear in.
When faced with others whose desires/kinks vary from our own, it’s easy to point a finger and criticize. “That’s disgusting” “That’s unnatural” or “That’s so wrong” are judgment phrases that often escape the lips of those who can’t or don’t share the same interests. Why? Unless it’s illegal or partners are unwilling, WHY should we care or judge? Why is simply acknowledging that it’s not your thing and moving on so difficult to do?
And if something does intrigue us? I suspect it’s fear that causes us to deny our true natures/desires. What if someone finds out? What if they judge me (often the way I’m judging everyone else)? What if I truly am weird or sick for wanting something besides missionary sex?
It occurred to me as I considered this issue… This is a lot like our tastes in partners. Everyone has different “types”. In fact, half-Asian me has neverbeen attracted to Asian men…and am very picky when it comes to black men that I find sexy. Heck, I laugh all the time at how specific my parents’ types are. My mom likes her men blond with blue eyes. My dad? He likes them Filipina. How do I know that? Because those traits are traits that followed them both into their second marriages.
My mom would tell you that she always knew I’d marry a “latin based” type. Why? Because she said I’d always been attracted to Hispanics, Italians and Greeks; not that I didn’t date my fair share of WASPs, but the majority of the guys who caught my eye were either dark hair and eyes or dark hair and blue eyes. Heck, some would call the attraction to people in uniforms or dangerous jobs or with tattoos a type, too.
Variety is the spice of life. There are a ton of different flavors out there… in ice cream, drinks, cultures, appearances, sexual preferences. No one type is better than the other. There is no right or wrong (well, unless we’re talking illegal). There’s simply what works for you.
Am I making sense? Am I crazy? What’s the most unusual kink you’ve heard of or seen? Do you have a “type” of person you’re attracted to? I’d love to know what you’re thinking…
I’ll close this with a bit of humor….and share what happens when a fantasy goes a bit “off”.
Wash away this heartache,
Cleanse me with your fire.
Breathe me in for you
Feed me your desire.
Punish me with searing
Brand me with each kiss.
Bind my body with your
Burn me with your bliss.
Help me soar beyond
Guide me to your soul.
Hold me till I scream your
Fill me till I’m whole.
Take this trust gave
Hold it safe and sound.
My gift, I lay before
The treasure you have found.
There are several levels and undercurrents to this poem. I feel that’s part of the beauty of life and experiences. I’d love to hear your interpretations/impressions of what you feel or see when you read it.
I absolutely hate American Idol. I know…for all my love of anything music related, it’s strange, right? I mean, I unapologetically love shows like Glee and Smash and The Voice! So how could I possibly hate a show like that? Good question.
You know how so many people tune in to watch the first few episodes where they show all those auditions and put all these truly horrible singers on tv and the world laughs? I don’t. I don’t find it at all funny. In fact, I find it to be cruel and hurtful. Whenever people ask me why I hate the show and I tell them why, I get the same answer.
“Oh, those people know they’re terrible. They’re just looking for their 15 minutes of fame.”
“Come on, it’s funny! Those people know what they’re getting into.”
But I wonder…do they really? I don’t doubt that some of them do! But think about it… really think. When a friend puts on an outfit they’re pretty excited about…and they think it looks good…and they ask you what they think…how many of you guys are honest? Do you tell your boyfriend/girlfriend/mom that the lime green outfit washes out her face and makes her look frumpy? Or do you just say…”you look great!”
I was talking to a friend yesterday. She began her conversation with me by laughingly saying, “No good deed goes unpunished.” You see, she’d done an act of kindness for a woman. During their conversation the woman found out that she was a writer. Apparently this woman has a blog. She’d just gotten out of a horrible domestic situation and for the last three years has been living off of the kindness of churches, friends and family. She’s uneducated and has no job (not to mention she had no car and her cable and internet had been shut off). When she discovered that my friend wrote romances she told her she was going to look over her writings so that she could give some for my friend to look over.
My friend is a good person. She knew that what this lady was looking for was someone to validate her…someone to tell her she was good. Let’s be honest for a second…when someone’s been through the hard knocks this woman has been through, the last thing anyone wants to do is crush her more. My friend warned her…she’s not very nice when she’s beta reading. She explained that although the writing industry has changed a lot lately and anybody can write a book…it takes a lot for that book to make money and sell. She was as upfront and honest as she could be…because she knew this woman who was not at all articulate face to face was probably going to translate the same way on paper. She’s dreading having to tell this woman what she suspects will be the truth. But would she be doing her any favors by lying? Publishers and Reviewers can be pretty brutal…
I’ll give you one last example… I used to work with this lady. Yeah, she could be a bit overbearing and gossipy, but her heart was in the right place. The problem was that she always came in to work smelling. When you’re in a people-facing job (and commissioned sales, at that) this is not a good thing. Everyone in our location had brought it up as a concern to our manager. Unsure how to handle such a complaint he contacted HR…well, so he said. He’d been waiting for a week with no answer, so I suspect that if he had, he was afraid to implement their advice for fear of hurting this woman’s feelings. One day, however, I’d had it. I decided to broach the subject myself…peer to peer. I was sick and tired of all the talking behind her back…and I was sick of the smell. So as we were working alone together I started up a conversation.
Me: Do you mind if I ask you a question?
Me: Do you have pets at home?
Her: Oh yeah! I have 2 dogs, 3 cats, 4 birds…etc, etc, etc (she had lots of tiny animals, too)
Me: Ah, that must it…
Her: Must be what?
Me: Sometimes you come in smelling like wet dog or something. I wasn’t sure what might be causing it. I just have a very sensitive nose.
Her: Oh my God.
Me: I’m sorry. I just wasn’t sure how to tell you.
She seemed okay when I left her, but apparently she went home and told her husband that she was “the smelly kid in school”….and she asked the rest of our co-workers if they thought she smelled. The cowards effing lied to her, making me out to be the bad guy, but I was okay with it. In fact, I reiterated to her that I’d told her I had a very sensitive nose and that certain scents cause me not to react very well. After that, not only did she take special care with her hygiene, she also checked with me about the perfumes she was wearing, citing that she was concerned that her hormone chemistry might have changed since she’d had her daughter. Yeah, they lied…I told the truth…but in the end, everyone benefited from the lack of stench.
So, back to the whole American Idol thing… Yeah, there’s a chance that many of them do it for the thrill…the kick of being on tv. I doubt that’s the case for everyone, though. There are probably more than a couple who’ve been complimented A LOT by well meaning friends….who truly have NO IDEA how bad they are…until they see themselves featured on tv. You don’t think that hurts their feelings? How good could that be for their egos? Did those seemingly harmless compliments at the time do them any favors?
Which do you think is kinder in the long run? I’ll stick to the truth. So is there a popular show on tv that gets under your skin? Why?
I have sexy men on the brain. Okay, let me clarify…It’s not so much sexy men as what makes men sexy to me. I’ve been thinking about a project I’m working on. Then someone had to Tweet something on Twitter that had me doing this:
Who could distract me from my work?
Why Alex O’Laughlin, of course! He’s hot as a vamp…even hotter as 5-O… He has a bad boy streak that I find incredibly appealing.
So what makes men attractive to me? A bit of a bad boy streak…(That should be obvious). Intelligence. A sense of humor. And a bit of unexpected chivalry.
The truth is… I can kick ass all by myself. I find it sexy when men acknowledge that and let women fight their own battles…but are on stand by…just in case she decides she needs to tag him in. Like Christian Kane’s Eliot Spencer… Yum! He trusts the women on his team to handle their part and tag him in as needed. Oh, and he can sing…and play guitar…and cook!
Then there’s the man that can write…sing…and can tickle my ivories anytime. Like Phil Vassar.
And then there’s raw physicality…(Combined with humor…it’s lethal for me…) So of course, I have a mad crush on Triple H!
What characteristics make a person sexy to you? (Hey it’s only fair that after I did my Girl Crushes segment that I gave my men equal time.)
Last night I planned on getting into my hotel room and writing a quick blog before crashing face first into my bed. Planned. Well, we all know what they say about the best laid plans… (Silly side note…why is it that all the best lays are reserved for plans?) What actually happened? After a workday that started around 10am, I left the store around 11:40 pm. I immediately changed into comfy clothes…aka Pj’s…and flipped my iPad open. I woke up at around 7 am, hand dangling over my king sized bed…tablet still open, relaxing on the floor. It had fallen out of my hands! Keep in mind, I baby my electronic with as much love as I show my doggies…who I’m missing (along with the hubs). That should give you an idea of how utterly exhausted I was.
That’s my baby pup sleeping!
The thing is, I should feel exhausted. Drained! But I don’t. Instead, I’m exhilarated! I’m on a new adventure. I’m using some of the most powerful leadership tools in my arsenal…and I’m loving every minute of it. Things have certainly not been easy. We had our final inspection yesterday. We passed. We called our entire staff in to help us clean and organize. They all showed up…initially uncertain, but there. But enthusiasm is catching…so I shared mine. In under five minutes everyone was talking, cleaning, folding and organizing new merchandise and the place was filled with smiles and laughter. I was able to set expectations, give tips and pointers, begin the initial process of building a team. There is nothing quite so energizing as being able to start learning your staff…their strengths and weaknesses, then teaching them how to use them in a way that guarantees their success. We will be grand opening a Cowboys merchandise store in El Paso on Thanksgiving night/Black Friday!
I’m not going to lie…I wound up steamrolling the guy who is supposed to be the manager running this place. If he’s smart, he’s learning a few things about leadership, setting the tone, expectations and how to motivate, energize and train. If he’s smart. My only concern is that I enable my very good friend who has entrusted me with her brand new store…to get off on the right foot. It is my job to ensure her success. And they can either get with the program or get out of my way! 🙂
Today I am thankful for the beautiful mountain view outside my hotel room window…(will take some pics and post when I have time) El Paso is gorgeous and the people have been welcoming. I’m thankful for you guys…because your warm acceptance, kind words and crazy humor have really been a huge source of enjoyment these last few months. I’m thankful for my handsome, loving man who supports everything I do, including a nearly month long trip to be here, using another of my passions. I’m thankful for the gifts and talents God has given me. I’m thankful for my family’s unwavering love and belief. The beautiful friends (and cyber friends) that I’ve accumulated. I’m also thankful for the songs in my heart and the smiles on my face.
I’m also thankful for all the many firsts I’ve experienced this year that have enabled me to be exactly where I am today. Yes, that includes first time being fired. 🙂
What about you guys? What are your biggest strengths? What are you passionate about? What are you thankful for?
Like many of my fellow bloggers/writers, I am drawn to the supernatural both in book and tv/movies. From these books, shows or movies, all sorts of questions come up…and we find ourselves drawing lines and making comparisons. A couple months ago Emma talked about super couples…literally speaking. Karen, at the beginning of the month, discussed how to be both evil and likeable…These ladies got me thinking about some of my favorite fictional characters and where their true strengths lie.
Take J.K. Rowling‘s Harry Potter, for example. Most people think of Harry and felt that his power was in the fact that he was a wizard. But look deeper… Think back towards the long walk he made when he surrendered himself to Voldemort. His true power was actually the same as his mother’s…and his saving grace, both times. It was his ability to love and his unselfish, unwavering sacrifice. He cared more about who he could help and save rather than himself. His mother sacrificed herself out of love for him…and in doing so, saved his life. He loved the people at Hogwarts enough, even the unloveable ones, that he was willing to walk into the lions den and sacrifice himself to save them. By doing so, he destroyed the one who would destroy him. It was not in his power that he had strength, but in his humanity and willingness to open his heart.
On to the ever popular Twilight series by Stephenie Meyer. What was the true strength of the Cullen family? Was it the super powers they received because they were vampires? I don’t think so. You began to see their strength when they realized that someone who was important to a member in their family was being threatened. It didn’t matter whether they were all in agreement with whether or not she should be included in their family secret. Once she was threatened, the only thing that mattered to the entire family was protecting someone they considered one of their own. Their strength was in family. They believed in each other, supported each other (even when they didn’t necessarily agree), and they protected each other. As the last movie in the series prepares to launch, I’m stoked. This is when you see them truly use those family ties to protect those that they love. It should be their best movie yet!
One of my favorite series is The Sword Of Truth by Terry Goodkind. In this series you meet a young man named Richard Cypher, a woodsman/guide and a young lady in white named Kahlen Amnell. In the first book you learn that Richard is actually “The Seeker Of Truth” and gifted with a magic sword, then later discovers he is actually a very powerful wizard. Kahlen is a magically talented person called “The Mother Confessor”. Although they both have these incredible powers, their strengths come from their belief in good, their love of the truth, then eventually, in their love of each other and their willingness to sacrifice themselves and each other for the greater good of the world. If you haven’t read this series, I encourage you to do so. It is amazing. (I’m being deliberately vague as I don’t want to give away any details to those of you who haven’t read it. I will tell you, though, that I read through the entire 11 book series in no time at all, and so did my husband.)
If you’ve ever read the Riley Jensen by Keri Arthur, you’ll find another case of a character with super powers (Riley is half vamp/half werewolf) where her strength is in her bond to her twin and her willingness to look behind the surface.
The same can be found in pretty much any show… Roswell was not all about the fact that 3 alien kids landed on earth. It was about the relationships they built and their ability to love…and eventually, to trust.
In Supernatural, Sam and Dean are demon hunters…but their strength is in each other and their ability to still see the good in things even after everything has been taken away. Yes, sometimes they fall off that path, but that’s the beauty of these brothers…eventually, they are able to pull each other back when one of them loses their way.
I’m sure you guys could probably list many more examples…or have some feedback about the ones I’ve listed. I’d love to hear your thoughts and opinions. Don’t be shy…Share with me!
And you know what? This subject doesn’t just apply to books, etc. It can apply to us as well. Think about what the outside world sees as your strength….then look deeper. Pull back those layers…what really drives you? Do you know? What would your best friend say if I were to ask them?
For me, most people see my outgoing personality and my confidence and they assume that they’re seeing my strength. The truth is, it’s my ability to pick myself up and dust myself off after I’ve gotten knocked down and that is my superpower. I recognize that life’s challenges are just that…challenges. And in the words of the Mother Abbess from The Sound Of Music…”When one door closes, another window opens.” One failure just leads you closer to success.
So, I've been spanked, hard! I have spanked myself hard, I have spanked others even harder! I'm now heading for a different road, one that still includes all the best bits of me, all the naughty bits, all the hot steamy bits, and plenty of spanking still to be had! But this time I'm creating characters to play out my delightful erotic fantasies, I hope you enjoy the new ride as much as the previous one...