Ok, so many of my friends here noticed my short hiatus turned out not to be so short. And yes. There were a few adventures along the way, but really, deep down, I got stuck again. I somehow found myself living one of my favorite melancholy Manilow songs…
Ok, replace “my woman” with just plain ol’ me (or my inspiration would probably be more accurate) because the other isn’t quite an accurate fit, but you’ll basically get the gist. Once again I allowed myself to get sucked into a career that drained me of some of my most valuable commodities.
Time.
And energy.
And once again it was for people who didn’t even know, understand, or appreciate my personal sacrifices. But that’s in the past.
I took a new job that is not nearly as demanding of my time, nor is it as draining of all my mental capacities. So, despite some personal tragedies along the way that I’m not quite ready to talk about (too fresh), I’m finally getting back to me!
Yesterday was my first time in a long time to post something I’d been inspired to share in quite some time. 1. It was great to be inspired. 2. It was awesome to have time and energy to share. See the theme?
I even got the chance to meet up with a friend for lunch, then brainstorm and information gather from a friend I’ll be using as a resource for my next book! He helped me flesh out characters that would work with the plot line I had envisioned. It felt great!
As always, there’s a song that helped inspire and engage my creativity with this relationship. Apparently it’s from a movie. I’ve never seen it, but the undercurrents spoke to me…
So I’m sorry I’ve been away so long. Hopefully I’ve learned my lesson. I’ve missed you guys. Am I forgiven? What’s new in your worlds?
My husband was watching the show Sullivan & Son the other night when I heard a clip that sent me running to the living room to watch. I’m pretty sure it had something to do with the humor of watching a train wreck unfolding…and not just because it involved a karaoke contest in a bar. The scene that caught my eye and made me giggle uncomfortably? Mother/son dirty karaoke. Obviously bars are a great place to find inappropriate behavior. Check it out and see if you don’t find yourself both laughing and embarrassed!
Okay, so in the course of life, awkward moments happen. It adds to the humor in life. In fact, I’ve seen some pretty interesting things back when I worked in hospitals. Retail has had more than it’s share of “unique situations”. There have been moments where I thought maybe I should bring a sign to hold up as a warning so people would know when they were crossing boundaries.
Boundary Warning
Sometimes people are unknowingly inappropriate or at least they pretend to be. My first year in retail began during the Christmas holiday season. I still recall a little old lady that looked like one of those little old church grannies. You know, the type who still get dressed up in their Sunday best to go shopping? I’d be surprised if she was a day under 80. I was working by myself one morning when she walked up to me and asked where we carried our “massagers”. Me, I pictured one of those manual ones…with the giant bumps or rollers that you run over your skin. Yeah…not at all what she was talking about.
Her: Where can I find your massagers? Me: (Looking at her dumbly and thinking, you do know this is a retail electronic store, not Walmart, right?) Massagers? Her: Yes. Personal massagers. I saw them in this Sunday’s advertisement. Me: (quizzical look on my face) For here? As an electronic store, we don’t normally carry massagers. What did it look like? Her:(Makes hand motions that look an awful lot like stroking a cock) The personal massager is cylindrical shaped…(hand motion) like this. I don’t recall if it plugs into a wall or uses batteries. Me:(Blinking and thinking “personal massager”, my eye! Granny’s looking for a vibrator. Wonder if I should send her to Giggles up the street?) I’m sorry, ma’am. We don’t carry anything even vaguely resembling that here.
Sometimes inappropriate behavior can be a bit flirty. I still remember a guy who came to one of my retail locations with a water damaged phone. Apparently it had vibrated into the sink at the airport when he left it sitting on the soap dispenser to wash his hands and he received a call. After I’d pulled his battery and put it back in, I powered it back on. The screen didn’t come up, but the device showed signs of life by the strongest vibrations I’ve ever felt in a phone.
Him:Did you fix it? Were you able to make it work? Me:(I placed the phone in his hand)Not exactly. Here, feel. Him:(With a wink and a smile) You’re welcome to keep it, darlin’. I think it’ll do more for you than me. Me:(Laughing) Wow! I’m impressed. You really went there. I think I like you.
What can I say, he was flirty, fun, with a southern accent…and kind of hot. I really didn’t mind!
Unfortunately, there are also the ones that will completely creep you out. There was a man who approached me for help in selecting a webcam back in the early 2000’s. They were just becoming popular so I didn’t think much of it….until he decided to elaborate.
Him:I want the best possible webcam I can buy under $50. Me:I’ll be happy to help with that. Webcams are this way. Him:It’s gotta be good enough so people can see real good. You heard of voyeur dorms? My girlfriend and I are gonna do something like that. Me:(trying not to roll my eyes or make a rude comment…the guy was in his 40’s with a scraggly beard and not very clean. In fact, he kind of looked like a meth head.) I see. Him:We’re gonna get rich. People are going to pay a lot of money to watch us. It’ll be me, my girlfriend and her daughter. Me:(blinking) These are probably the best webcams in the range you mentioned. For what you’re planning, you may want to consider investing in something more than a webcam. Him:Maybe once the money comes rolling in. For now, I’ll get one of these. You know, I like you. You seem like a cool chick. Wanna see a picture of my girlfriend and her daughter? Me:(attempting to subtly back away) Uh…. Him:(Pulls out a picture of two women who were definitely related by blood and totally naked, together in poses I never wanted to see) That’s my girlfriend and that’s her daughter (he points them out). Hot, huh? She had this done for me for my birthday. Me:(Nodding and lifting hand in goodbye gesture) Have a nice day.
Yeah, after dealing with that guy I felt like I needed a shower in the worst way. He was totally sleazy in the creepiest sense of the word.
Personally, I’d take the two Italian guys from Jersey over that guy any day. That one was odd on a totally different level. It wasn’t appropriate, but it was at least in a universe that didn’t involve potential mother/daughter action. Yuck. As for the guys from Jersey? I walked into one of my retail locations one day to find my supervisor frustrated and in need of advice. Apparently the two guys one of my reps was dealing with had a tendency to come in, be as loud and obnoxious as possible…and chose not to censor their vocabulary. This meant curse words flew frequently. They were business customers and high revenue, so my supervisor didn’t want to do anything to jeopardize the account. The problem was that they rubbed everyone the wrong way with the exception of one of my reps. She had a tendency to be a bit gossipy and loudmouthed herself.
That particular day was the first time I’d seen them. Observing them from a distance I noticed that they were scaring off some of my other customers, particularly the ones with small children. Unwilling to lose the business and used to dealing with this particular type of personality, I decided it was time for me to step in.
Me:Hi gentleman, how are you today? My Employee: Guys, this is my boss. Guy:(Though there were two guys, one only greeted me, the other was the real loudmouth) So what kind of discount can you give us on our shit? We want to upgrade. We spend a lot of money here. Me: And we appreciate your business, but before I discuss those options with you, let me be clear about something. You need to lower your voice and watch your language. This is a family friendly establishment and my employees are on commission. I really don’t appreciate you coming in here and scaring off my customers. If you are unable to conduct yourself more professionally I’m going to have to ask you to leave. Are we clear? Guy:(Hands up) We were only having fun. Me:And I appreciate that. We want you to enjoy doing business with us. It’s completely unacceptable when your “Having fun” (And yes, I used air quotes on him) causes me to lose business and scares my customers away. If this happens again you can do all your business by phone. Do we understand each other? Guy:Yes, ma’am! Me:(Nods) Great. I’m glad we understand each other. Have a nice day, gentlemen. Guy:(Leans over to my employee and stage whispers) Oh, my God. How much do you think I’d have to pay to have her smack me around? My Employee: (Nods) Now you’re talking about the right woman.
Yeah…there’s no question the employee was reprimanded for making a comment like that to a customer. I won’t lie and say I wasn’t entertained, though. Apparently he was very wealthy, unhappily married and headed for divorce….and was serious about paying me to spank him. Did I do it? Nope.
What about you? What kind of wild, wooly, inappropriate or downright creepy things have you run into in your workplaces? Help me start Monday off with a bit of disbelief and laughter…
There is no question that things have been absolutely crazed in my personal life lately. I found a side job I didn’t even know I was looking for…and that’s exciting. But even better? One of the coolest people I have the privilege to follow on Twitter and Facebook, Ande Lyons, reached out to me.
Ande runs this amazing site for women called Bring Back Desire. The focus of her website is “sharing resources with women who want more intimacy, passion, sensual pleasure and sexual excitement”. I think that’s an amazing cause. I’ve been thrilled when she’s chosen to comment on one of my posts. I really do admire her work and what it means to women.
Well, late Sunday evening I saw an email from her in my mailbox. She really enjoyed my blog post about the differences between Sex and Making Love from a few days ago. She has asked me if I’d be willing to repurpose it a little bit so she can post it as an article on her website. How cool is that? Of course I told her I’d be thrilled to do so. I mean, when someone you look up to and admire for their contributions like that comes to you…WOW!
Anyway, I have been a bad blog buddy lately, between finishing my project, starting a new business and now this…but I’ll be back in a few days. I promise! I love you guys too much to stay away. You’re all awesome!
Since losing my retail job back in July I’ve been writing. As many of you know, there is no such thing as instant financial gratification in writing. (I chuckled to myself even as I wrote that sentence.) Writing-doing it right, takes time. Even once you’re finished with your story, it needs editing, polishing…yadda, yadda, yadda. I am okay with that. Hubby and I talked. We’ve decided to use this time to allow me to pursue my dreams! He believes in me…believes I’m talented enough to make a go of this.
It’s a bit of a scary move for someone who’s been working in traditional jobs since she was 16 and has had two careers that lasted nearly 10 years each. I never considered it a viable dream before. Had it not been for the prodding of some very good friends, I might have gone back to find some other job that took over my life and stifled my passions. Fortunately, my support system is pretty amazing…so I’m following my dream.
Then came today…February 1st. Why is this such a big deal? Because that means Valentine’s Day is in 13 days. Many of you have known me for a while now and know 2 things: I like to celebrate holidays/milestones and last year was rough. Last year around Valentine’s Day I was doing at least 4 double shifts a week and 6 day work weeks. Somehow I managed to get Valentine’s Day off, so I made him his favorite Filipino foods. By late that night he was headed to the emergency room…and the following day found him having an emergency appendectomy.
This year will be different. As I racked my brain wondering what sort of awesome (not overly expensive…hey, I’ve been unemployed for a while now) gift I could get him, one of my awesome Twitter buddies, @Lisas_alter_ego posted something amazing! It was this picture!
Hubby and I are from Chicago. This means that we can be a bit on the pizza snob side. It also means that there haven’t been any pizza places that have measured up to what we had back home. His absolute favorite thing is Giordano’s Stuffed Pizza. For Valentine’s Day they’re doing the pies shaped like hearts! And they FedEx them on dry ice! How cool is that? Sooo, guess what I’m gonna do for him? Absolutely! I’m gonna order one to be delivered for him.
I have an awesome man who loves and supports me. He believes in me and is willing to do whatever it takes so that I can pursue my dreams. To me that makes him pretty much the coolest person on earth. The pizza may not be much, but it’s a slice of home…and it’s one of the things he loves. Once I’m more steady on my feet again, I’ll be able to give him something more to show him how valued he is in my life…but for now, I’ll have to settle for a slice of cheesy goodness.
So what about you guys? Any plans for Valentine’s Day yet? Do you have a Valentine? Are you one of those people that feels this is just another Hallmark travesty? Let me know… while you enjoy my musical dedication to the day for lovers…
We had just been dismissed from a supervisor meeting when one of my male counterparts approached me.
Him: Do you have a second?
Me: Sure. What’s up?
Him: I need some advice. It’s personal. (His cheeks began to flush a beet red and his speech picked up to nearly warp speed) You’re the only person I feel like I can ask, but if I make you uncomfortable, just tell me to shut up or go away or something.
Me: (beyond curious) Ok. You know I’m pretty blunt, I’ll tell you if I’m offended. Why don’t you just tell me.
Him: (looking down, no eye contact) Gosh, I don’t even know how to say this right, so I’m just going to say it. You seem like someone who knows stuff…
Me: Stuff?
Him: It’s like this. You’ve met my girl. (I nod) See…here’s the problem. How can I get her to orgasm with penetration? I can do it for her every other way, but not that way….
Me: (blinking) Wow. I so didn’t see that one coming. (He began to look concerned) Don’t worry, I’m not offended. I am very curious about why you picked me…
Him: You’re easy to talk to, and you don’t seem easily offended.
I just laughed… And yes, I gave him some advice. 😉 In case you’re wondering, he implemented my advice that week, then came back to let me know it worked.
The odd thing is, that wasn’t the first time something like that has happened to me, or the last… In fact, at my very next job, I’d been there for about a month when our temp asked if we could have lunch together.
Temp: So, there was an ulterior motive to my asking you to lunch.
Me: (laughing) You mean it wasn’t my charming personality?
Temp: Well, that’s actually a huge part of it, but I also need some advice, and since it’s personal, I thought it would be best to ask you away from work & off the clock.
Me: Now I’m curious.
Temp: So my boyfriend likes oral sex, and I’d like to make him cum in my mouth, but just when he starts to get really into it I start to gag. Any idea on how I can improve my gag reflex?
Me: Actually, I do…
And yes, I put my Dear Abby hat on and helped the young lady. So, over the years, I’ve realized that for whatever reason, I give off this “very comfortable in my sexuality” vibe. It has also become apparent that people feel I’m open to discussing almost anything.
I thing everyone has a subject that people feel comfortable approaching them about, be it for advice or just to talk… So, what subject do people come to you for?
In other, unrelated topics…I’d posted the below picture on Facebook saying that I was going to reward my hour long workout by working by the pool, writing…
Hubby, who was trapped at his office job commented with “smh”.
When he got home he mentioned that he almost made a comment about me “working” by the pool (yes, he used air quotes out of jealousy)….but settled on “shaking my head”.
I looked at him and said, “OH! that’s what that means?”
He gave me a weird look and said, “Yeah. What did you think it meant?”
I giggled. “I’ve always thought it meant suck me hard.”
He just shook his head, walked away & said, “perv.”
I’ve realized I have a cantankerous side. People who know me well will tell you that it’s a rarity for me to lose my temper. In fact, one of my biggest flaws is that I’m too controlled. But I have this line…and once it’s crossed, all bets are off.
Why am I telling you this? Because tonight someone asked me how I wound up in Florida.
My buddy Robert will relate to this story as he believes in turning the other cheek…but only twice since he only has two.
I took a job at the hospital I worked at back in the late ’90’s. I guess you’d consider it a promotion and I should’ve been pleased, but I enjoyed the position I held prior to this one and wasn’t in any rush to leave it. The thing was, there were only two people in that particular hospital that were capable or qualified to do the job. One was only part time and in school. The other person? Me.
I liked my direct boss, so when she asked me to take on the role as a personal favor, I agreed. Then a new executive came in to run our group of departments. We’ll call her The Dragon Lady. (And I use the term Lady loosely) Her people skills were so strong that she kicked off her first, introductory meeting with the departments by sitting everyone down and saying, “You should be happy to be here. If you’re not happy to be here, find a reason to be happy to be here. If you can’t find a reason to be happy to be here, then maybe you should leave.”
Yeah…definitely gave ME the warm and fuzzies…and that was Strike 1.
My position with the company required that I go over every single in and out patient registration with a fine toothed comb and ensure proper segments and insurance was billed properly. When the information was incorrect, it was my job to correct it, coach the employee and re-drop the bill. This meant I had anywhere from 800 to 1000 registrations per day to review. I was about 6 days out, but the ideal was to be no more than 5 days out. Unfortunately there was only 1 of me…
One day my boss calls me into her office. Waiting inside…you guessed it…The Dragon Lady. Here is how the conversation with her rolled out.
DL: I want you to be no more than 3 days out an all registrations. Where are you now?
Me: I’m 6 days out.
DL: How soon will it take to get you to 3 days out?
Me: With overtime? Probably 3 days.
DL: Then get that done.
Me: Ok.
DL: I can be the best friend you had or the worst enemy you’ve ever made.
Me: Okay…
DL: I can make your career or I can break it. And I support the people I like. Otherwise I can crush you.
Me: Okay…
Direct boss pipes in: Dragon Lady, in her defense, she was perfectly happy in the job before she took this one. She took it as a personal favor to me and because she was one of two people in the entire place qualified and the only one able to do the job.
DL: If you want me on your side, you’ll get that done.
What she couldn’t see was that in my head she’d just gotten Strike #2!
My husband was my boyfriend back then and knew how miserable I was. Between the long hours I was working (10-12 hrs and 6 day work weeks) and the way she talked to me, he knew something had to give. He gave me the green light to post my resume online. So I did! I didn’t even apply for any jobs…just posted it….when I got a call. A hospital on the west coast of Florida wanted to interview me. So, I walked into my direct boss’ office and told her I needed a personal day and reminded her that I had never taken any time like that before…and that I couldn’t answer any questions about the why. She gave it to me.
When I got back at 8 am, the Dragon Lady (who, incidentally, was never in before 10 am) was in my office waiting for me.
Now if you know the arrogant management types…then you know the power plays that come along with them. Often, if you’re told the boss’ boss is in your office…and said boss is a douche…you can count on them taking “the power position”…the seat at your desk. They leave you with the guest chair…their way of saying it’s their universe and you’re just lucky enough to be living in it.
This move would have been typical of her breed of people. Oddly enough, when I came in, she was sitting in my guest chair. Between the being at work a minimum of 2 hours prior to her normal time and sitting in my guest seat, I knew something was up.
As I sat my bag down our conversation happened:
DL: So, a little birdie told me that you went on an interview.
Me: (Thinking…so THAT’S what this is all about) Your little birdie heard correctly.
DL: You know, we absolutely love you here.
Me: (Looking at her in disbelief) Thank you. (She was fishing and she wanted to know how serious I was about leaving. In fact, if I’d have mentioned a raise, I would’ve gotten it.)
DL: You’re a hard worker.
Me: I’m glad you think so.
DL: We don’t want to lose you.
Me: Well, you know, you said something at your first meeting that really resonated with me.
DL: (Her ego puffing up) Oh, really? What did I say?
Me: On your first day you told us “You should be happy to be here. If you’re not happy to be here, you need to find a reason to be happy to be here. If you can’t find a reason to be happy to then you should go somewhere else.” So I took your advise!
DL: Oh.
I don’t think very many people had ever talked to her that way…and used her words against her. But I meant every word…because I never forgot. And it felt good! I then gave my two weeks notice and moved to Florida. Oddly enough, it took 3 people with overtime to replace the one me. And one of them ended up in the CCU unit because of the stress.
As for the Dragon Lady…she only lasted another year or two longer in her position. Every time I’ve gone back to my old stomping grounds and run into someone I know in that department, I’m offered a job. Funny thing…I left in 1999!
What about you? Where is your temper threshold? What happens when you get pushed? What is the closest you ever got to saying Eff you to a boss?
Last night I planned on getting into my hotel room and writing a quick blog before crashing face first into my bed. Planned. Well, we all know what they say about the best laid plans… (Silly side note…why is it that all the best lays are reserved for plans?) What actually happened? After a workday that started around 10am, I left the store around 11:40 pm. I immediately changed into comfy clothes…aka Pj’s…and flipped my iPad open. I woke up at around 7 am, hand dangling over my king sized bed…tablet still open, relaxing on the floor. It had fallen out of my hands! Keep in mind, I baby my electronic with as much love as I show my doggies…who I’m missing (along with the hubs). That should give you an idea of how utterly exhausted I was.
That’s my baby pup sleeping!
The thing is, I should feel exhausted. Drained! But I don’t. Instead, I’m exhilarated! I’m on a new adventure. I’m using some of the most powerful leadership tools in my arsenal…and I’m loving every minute of it. Things have certainly not been easy. We had our final inspection yesterday. We passed. We called our entire staff in to help us clean and organize. They all showed up…initially uncertain, but there. But enthusiasm is catching…so I shared mine. In under five minutes everyone was talking, cleaning, folding and organizing new merchandise and the place was filled with smiles and laughter. I was able to set expectations, give tips and pointers, begin the initial process of building a team. There is nothing quite so energizing as being able to start learning your staff…their strengths and weaknesses, then teaching them how to use them in a way that guarantees their success. We will be grand opening a Cowboys merchandise store in El Paso on Thanksgiving night/Black Friday!
I’m not going to lie…I wound up steamrolling the guy who is supposed to be the manager running this place. If he’s smart, he’s learning a few things about leadership, setting the tone, expectations and how to motivate, energize and train. If he’s smart. My only concern is that I enable my very good friend who has entrusted me with her brand new store…to get off on the right foot. It is my job to ensure her success. And they can either get with the program or get out of my way! 🙂
Today I am thankful for the beautiful mountain view outside my hotel room window…(will take some pics and post when I have time) El Paso is gorgeous and the people have been welcoming. I’m thankful for you guys…because your warm acceptance, kind words and crazy humor have really been a huge source of enjoyment these last few months. I’m thankful for my handsome, loving man who supports everything I do, including a nearly month long trip to be here, using another of my passions. I’m thankful for the gifts and talents God has given me. I’m thankful for my family’s unwavering love and belief. The beautiful friends (and cyber friends) that I’ve accumulated. I’m also thankful for the songs in my heart and the smiles on my face.
I’m also thankful for all the many firsts I’ve experienced this year that have enabled me to be exactly where I am today. Yes, that includes first time being fired. 🙂
What about you guys? What are your biggest strengths? What are you passionate about? What are you thankful for?
So, I've been spanked, hard! I have spanked myself hard, I have spanked others even harder! I'm now heading for a different road, one that still includes all the best bits of me, all the naughty bits, all the hot steamy bits, and plenty of spanking still to be had! But this time I'm creating characters to play out my delightful erotic fantasies, I hope you enjoy the new ride as much as the previous one...
theinnerwildkat 