Positive Self-Talk and Girl Power #InternationalWomensDay2020

I like to think that I’m a strong woman, but even strong women falter. Fortunately for me, I’m also surrounded by a legacy of powerful women beginning with my mom and continuing on in my sister and myself.

It’s a message I was fortunate to be taught at an early age, and as I got older, I began to realize just how important something I’d always grown up with was as I met other people and made friends. Not everyone had my innate confidence and belief in myself. In fact, I started to realize that while I was raised to believe I could do anything and be anything, many of my friends were unsure…and my mission was born.

We women hear so many things about who and what we’re supposed to be. Many of these expectations are unrealistic, but it doesn’t stop us from beating ourselves up or calling ourselves names. How many times have we called ourselves “dummy” or “stupid” or just gotten plain angry at ourselves? And don’t get me started on all the times we apologize whether we need to or not.

That kind of negative self talk has such a strong impact on our psyches. And the thing is, even in the world of romance novels, the wilting violet heroine in need of rescue is pretty common. I’ll be honest, as much as I’ve always loved romance, these were my least favorite characters.

It’s why I gravitated to authors like Julie Garwood and Nora Roberts and the late, great Johanna Lindsey. Their characters were strong, powerful, and empowered women who rescued their men as much as their men did them.

When I began writing I knew I wanted my females to be strong and empowered both emotionally and sexually. I also wanted my female friendships to be the kind I’d been blessed with. Encourage-rs, supporters, and empowerment mongers. Sure, there are haters, but we make the choice if our lives are going to be hater free zones by not allowing that behavior in ourselves or the people we surround ourselves with.

And I make it a personal mission to try to help build up the women around me. To support them. To remind them of their power when they may forget. To be the friend I’d want to have. And to remember that what makes ups great is having faith in ourselves and those around us no matter how bleak a picture the media may try to paint of our world. I truly believe we can create a world we’d want to live in, but it all starts from within us.

Positive self talk is important and powerful. So is the message you put out to those around you. You are important. You are powerful. You matter. I’m grateful to have people like you who stop by and read my love (and self-love) letters.

What message do you want to share with the women in your world? Yes, these messages are important not just today, but everyday…

Brave

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Image source Natalinicola.blog

What do you do
When words said
Cut you to the quick
With their forceful
Honesty?

Where do you hide
When life
Barrels through
You?
Just one more pothole
Along the way…

How do you
Cauterize
The gaping slices
Etched on your
Soul?
Oozing thick, red
Tears
With each beat
Of your battered
Heart.

Where can you run?
To lick your wounds,
Curl up,
Fetal position
To protect.

Deep breath.
Look up
Into eyes that see
Through
The outer facade
To joint and marrow.
Feed on that power,
Regain your strength.
Shoulders back,
Head high.
One more challenge.
The answer…
Is you.

Yesterday…the words people say set me off into a ranting blog. As I thought about it throughout the day I realized…our words? They can carry a lot of meaning. They can have huge impacts on people whether we know it or not. The wrong words can be debilitating…regardless of right or wrong intentions.

I thought back to the things that have hurt most in my life… The inevitable conclusion? It was never anything physical…always mental. So if words can tear down… Don’t we, as writers and bloggers, also have the responsibility to build up? To leave someone a little better off? To encourage?

You never know whose will touch a heart. Or when what you have to say may be the difference maker in a person’s life. The thing that makes everything click…and make sense again.

Really, it’s always up to you, the individual, to choose who you want to be today…victim or survivor. Positive or Negative. Lover or Hater. Encourager or Naysayer.

Today I’m making my choice. Life…it’s full of bumps and bruises. Wounds that sometimes never fully heal. But I control one thing. My outlook….the decision to get up every morning no matter how battered yesterday may have left me…and to find the beauty and purpose in my today. Some may call me a sucker. I’ve been told I’m a glutton for punishment, that people will let me down. But you know what I’ve found? More people prove me right than wrong. I can wake up with a smile on my face. I can still appreciate the little things. I can love my life. Those other people? Well…isn’t it kind of sad that they can’t find a single thing to look forward to…except spreading their misery. Is it any wonder they find themselves alone more often than not…and not by choice?

I really believe you get what you put out in the world. What do you think? When was the last time you made a difference and you weren’t even trying? You guys do that for me all the time! So, let those scars become something that gives you character and join me in embracing life. 🙂