Where To Find Beautiful

With all the terrible sadness and tragedy of this last week, my heart has been a bit heavy. My thoughts have been with those in Oklahoma who are going through so much right now. My prayers have been filled with them and childhood and online friends who’ve recently been diagnosed with cancer.

I needed my heart to be soothed. To remember the good in the world. To be empowered and inspired.

Today I thought I’d share with you the things that have touched me….and hope that they speak to you, too.

Here’s some poetry from a young lady named Botlhale Boikanyo from South Africa’s Got Talent at the age of 11.

Next is Kellie Pickler and Derek Hough’s Freestyle performance Monday night on Dancing With The Stars. It brought tears to my eyes. The emotions were so clearly displayed. She bared her soul with that dance. (The song was gorgeous, too.)

My last addition is a song sung by Jotta A, a Brazilian boy. I believe he was 12 at the time of this particular recording. I think it might be from Brazil’s Got Talent. You can definitely tell English is not his first language as he mispronounces some words, but the heart of the song…the message…  He delivers that, loud and clear. He’s singing Chris Tomlin’s Amazing Grace/My Chains Are Gone.

Where do you go when you need to add a little beauty to your life? Have you seen anything that’s wow’ed you lately? If so, please share it with me!

Project Cliteracy

Recently, it was brought to my attention that the first ever International Clitoral Awareness Week took place from May 6-12. As it’s also National Masturbation Month, we figured it’s never too late to celebrate the clit. So, today, in honor of the clitoris, a few friends and myself put together a #ClitLove Blog Hop and Twitter hash tag party. There Will Be Prizes!

As most of you have figured out over time, my sense of fun can be a bit on the naughty side. It stood to reason that the tongue on bean humor from Jay & Silent Bob Strikes Back would be the perfect way to kick things off for me.

If there is one thing that seems to have been all over magazines geared to attract women it’s been the orgasm…and the zillion of variations with which women can achieve them (either solo or with a partner). Somewhere along the way the “Holy Grail” of orgasms became the G-Spot orgasm (never mind that there are those who think it’s like Santa and doesn’t exist). This got me thinking. Why, when we hear about women who’ve never achieved orgasm through intercourse, are we worrying about the hard to find one when we’ve got a little love button hidden in plain sight with nothing but a little hood for protection?

That pretty little pearl exists for nothing but a woman’s pleasure. In fact, it’s the only body part that functions purely for pleasure! A little shy, she needs a little coaxing to come out of her shell, but touch her just right and she’ll swell with beauty before detonating from the inside in shudders of pleasure and love juice.

Most self aware women are well aware of just how reliable that little bud is. In fact, “Clicking the mouse” is a reference to self pleasure through clitoral stimulation. Some of the most popular sex toys were designed with that tiny little pleasure part in mind from bullet and egg sex toys to butterfly panties (with remote) as made more popular by Katherine Heigl and Gerard Butler in The Ugly Truth.

The good news is that unlike the G-Spot, pretty much everyone seems to know where to find the clit….or at least the general vicinity. The better news is that this area, like women, can enjoy all sorts of different and versatile approaches to similar results! That means it takes most of the guess work out of it. Watch!

Getting any ideas yet? I know I am… As My friend and fellow blog hopper, August McLaughlin would say…I’m well on my way to a Girl Boner. Check out her what she has to say about The Highly Sensitive Clitoris. My darling friend, Ande Lyons from Bring Back Desire, cheers on all things that make a woman feel sexy and sensual. She, too, is participating with a post called Celebrating The Clitoris. Yolanda Shoshana, a new friend on Twitter who specializes in Courtesan Coaching and Clairvoyance joined the party with her post, Cheers To The Clit. Lana Fox wrote Freud’s Big Clitoral Snake and Angela Tavares who wrote Where Were You The First Time You Found The Clitoris at Go Deeper Press.

You can also join us today on Twitter, using the hashtag #ClitParty. For a chance to WIN an erotic book from Go Deeper Press , an erotic romance selected by Bring Back Desire or a 30-minute clairvoyant reading with Goddess Isis Oracle (via Skype or phone), Tweet us about your clitoris: What you love about it, what you’d say to it, your nickname for it—whatever!—using the hashtag #ClitParty.

Prizes will be awarded for the most retweets and/or favorites, with extra points given for creativity. (Pssst! Guys can enter, too! Talk about a romantic gesture—tweeting about your sweetheart’s clit.;))

As you guys know, I love when people share their thoughts, so I look forward to seeing what you have to say on the topic both on here and on Twitter. You guys never disappoint in your love of all things fun and sexy! Orgasm education is a good cause, don’t you agree? Viva La Clitty!

And for those of you who still feel you need more info on the clit…check out Clitoris Guide.org. They have a ton of interesting stuff!

Labels, Stereotypes and Causes

I guess I thought labels and stereotypes would go away with high school. I was wrong. Looking back, it was pretty naïve to assume that something so prevalent in more youthful times disappeared with adulthood. After all, we get our examples of how to treat people somewhere.

This morning I was reading a post from my very sarcastic, very smart blog buddy, Katie. In her post she was being a bit tongue in cheek about the hypocrisy that often comes with labels, though her post was specific to feminists. She often speaks in satire and generalizations so it’s something that if you should take into account before reading. I find her stuff entertaining, even when I don’t agree (which has been known to happen).  This time, it was the comments that caught my eye in her post.

Katie and I have some similarities in how we were raised. We’re both from Chicago. We were both raised by single moms. We’re both smart and independent and proud of it. We’re both unafraid to speak our minds and enjoy writing blogs where we’re willing to take on almost any topic. The one area we’ve disagreed was in relation to interpersonal relationships and chivalry. Her independent soul finds chivalry to be irrelevant and unimportant as this post illustrates, whereas I find it to be hugely important and sadly lacking as I posted here. If you read her post, you’ll see in the comments just how different our points of view are. I guess that’s part of why her BS Feminism post drew me in….we were actually in agreement and it comes back to labels and stereotypes v. actual beliefs.

Let’s be honest…we’re all guilty of labeling and stereotyping. For example, how many people do you know (and hey, it may be you, yourself) hear the word conservative and picture either someone in a military uniform or a very wealthy person in a business suit who looks like they have a stick up their “you know what”? Or picture liberals as “tree hugging” tie-dye and hemp wearing hippies? Neither is accurate, by the way. Here’s the other kicker…being a liberal doesn’t guarantee you vote Democrat any more than being conservative means you are a Republican.

I’ve always disliked labels. I’m sure you’d all agree that we’re so much more than the labels people try to pin on us. It was actually during the Bush/Kerry election that my dislike turned to abhorrence. You see, I used to hang out on this one message board. Many of us had been friends for years. As often happens, closer to the election the posts got political. For whatever reason apparently, on this board, being gay meant you were supposed to be liberal, hence Democrat. Well, one of my very good friends didn’t get the memo. He broke that mold when he would proudly (and very articulately) jump into the debates on the side of Republicans. He won more of those skirmishes than he lost…which prompted another poster to tell him “I hope you get AIDS and die.” For voting Bush? Seriously? After hanging out at that board for more than 5 years I was done.

I’m not even going to touch the NRA….

So back to feminism. I’ll be honest…I’ve shied away from that label, too. Why? Because for whatever reason, the image I’ve grown to associate with feminism is not very complimentary. Picture an uptight, ball busting woman (often a man hater) who won’t allow simple niceties such as men opening doors, pulling out their chairs, helping them with their coat or paying the tab as if somehow it’s a slight to their ability to do so themselves. Don’t even pretend like you haven’t seen this behavior or know people like this. We all do. And that’s their right. It’s just not my cup of tea.

It’s easy to forget that feminism isn’t really about any of those things. In history class I remember cheering for the “bluestockings” and what they stood for. They wanted women to have a right to vote; for them to have a voice in politics. I loved that. I still do. Feminism is also responsible for laws that require women to receive equal consideration for jobs (as long as their qualifications are also equal). It has been responsible for women being allowed equal educational opportunities, equal salaries. It’s given us rights to make decisions regarding our bodies. I feel very strongly about self esteem and body issues whether they belong to men or women. I’ll take on anyone who goes out of their way to make another person feel worthless. These are all causes that I feel very strongly about…and wholeheartedly support!

Just because I may not be a huge fan of the label doesn’t mean I don’t strongly agree with the core of what it’s supposed to stand for. If you don’t agree with me, that’s okay! I’d love to hear your thoughts. If there are other labels/causes that you feel have gotten bastardized, share that, too!

At the end of the day, I think The Breakfast Club had it right at the end…. We’re a little bit of everything and trying to label it…well, it just gives extremists the opportunity to muddy those waters.

What My Mom Taught Me

I’m the girl in the pink t-shirt

My mom is responsible for so many of the passions in my life. The background in this picture shows two of them…my love of books and my thirst for knowledge.

I suspect that she also inspired my love for writing, particularly poetry. As often happens when we’re young, we emulate what we see. My mom used to write these long, drawn out odes…probably inspired by reading Psalms. All I know is that I was enthralled with the idea that she had created something that other people wanted to read…with her mind and her imagination. And, as happens with the oldest child, I attempted to emulate her…with my own little twists. My sister would tell you that I took it a step further and spun tales to entertain her and my brothers.

Mothers and daughters are complicated relationships…and I suspect it will always be that way. Through her I learned to be timely because it’s a trait she lacks. Yet there were other things that would blow me away…like when she told me how she chose my name. My passion for music comes from her, too. Every member of my immediate family is actually vocally talented. She and my dad used to sing all the time. She was disappointed that I didn’t take more interest in learning an instrument, too. Even when we didn’t have much, she found ways to help my sister and I pay for our voice lessons in high school.

My mom also has a love for cooking and baking; one she passed on to my sister and me. My first memory of making bread with her was when I was 3. She made sure she had mini-loaf pans and tart pans to go with her pie and bread pans. As she would make hers, she’d double the recipe so my sister and I could make “ours”. We loved that. In fact, baking is something we both do to relax us. Like my mom, I’m an intuitive cook… a pinch of this and a dab of that are commonplace in my cooking. It’s all to taste, which makes it difficult for me to share recipes, but it was always fun.

As some of you realize, my dad wasn’t really a presence in my life. She was the one who never missed a concert that I performed in, she who told me that I could be anyone and do anything I wanted. She did everything she could so that his absence wasn’t missed too much. She found a way to support us with nothing more than a high school diploma…and chose not to take advantage of “aid” agencies, though we qualified. She believed there were others that needed it more and that as long as she was working, accepting things like food stamps would send us the wrong message. She wanted us to be strong and independent. She taught me the value of hard work and dedication.

Don’t get me wrong…we had our ups and downs. Having me so young made us more like siblings than mother/daughter sometimes… We both had our tempers and we knew how to push each others buttons. The single mom in her gave her a very vivid imagination. (She thought my catnip was marijuana and that my sister’s contact lens enzyme tabs were birth control pills that I’d procured without her knowledge or permission.)

Thanks to her, my sister and I were independent enough to spread our wings and fly from the nest as soon as we were old enough. Unlike most kids, we didn’t do it because we were rebelling or needed to escape. We did it to exercise the independence she raised us to crave.

Even then, we knew she was always just a phone call away. If we ever truly needed her she’d drop everything and try to find a way to help us. She still would.

She’s not perfect… In fact, she’s a bit of a hypochondriac. She gave us vitamins one year for stocking stuffers. She’s spiked my sister’s OJ with fish oil to “enhance her memory” when we were in high school preparing for finals… (Yeah, that was hilarious for me, disgusting for her.) She has a brutal temper. She’s beyond protective. She jumps to conclusions and has a tendency to shoot first, ask questions later (a trait common in single moms who want to keep their kids safe).

Through her, my sister and I gained a very clear vision of what a loving God looks like. She raised us to do what was right, even when it wasn’t always easy or comfortable. She taught us to be tough, resilient and self sufficient. She also showed us what commitment looked like.

When we lost our brothers she was there…strong and steadfast. She knew that as long as we had each other and faith, we would survive. She never let go.

Watching her over the years I’ve learned so much about strength, resilience and love….and the kind of mother I’d like to be (if I ever have any children). It always chokes me up and blows my mind a little when she hugs me and tells me that my sister and I inspired so much of what we inspire in her.

May I grow up to be as inspiring to someone as she’s been to me.

Now it’s your turn…. What traits have you inherited from your mom? What inspires you? If you’re a mom, what do you love most about being one?

New Cover Reveal- Taking Chances by Loni Flowers

My wonderful friend, Loni Flowers has a sweetly romantic new cover for her wonderful book, Taking Chances! She has given me the opportunity to share her cover and a bit about her book with you guys. Currently on sale for the Kindle at $.99, I hope you check it out and get to know Loni. She’s a wonderful lady and a great friend.

Taking Chances      

By Loni Flowers                       

Genre: Adult Contemporary Romance

 

Blurb/Book Description:

 

Turning her back on a life she can no longer deal with, Clair Davidson has been on the streets for six months wandering aimlessly from town to town. But when a hitchhiked car ride lands her back in a familiar town, and a terrifying encounter puts her in the arms of someone too good to be true, Clair almost starts to feel like she could belong somewhere again. Almost.

Alexander Frazier knew what it felt like to live on the streets, up until he received a helping hand from a stranger. After saving Clair from a vicious attack, it’s not long before he realizes she’s a lot like he used to be—lost. Alex soon learns he will risk everything to keep her safe and get her life back on track… even if it means his heart.

But fresh starts are new to Clair and not something she’s certain she’s ready for. Clair’s had her share of people walking out of her life and she doesn’t trust her heart in Alex’s hands. Can his love give her the second chance she never saw coming?

 

Excerpt

 

Alex walked around and opened Clair’s door, helping her out as she jumped down. He followed her as she walked to the far end of the yard and sat in the grass. Lying back, she looked up toward the black sky. Alex laughed as he looked down at her.  “You know, if you’re that tired, I can get my blanket out of the car for you.”

Clair gave a small smile, tapping the grass beside her with her hand. “I miss it, ya know?”

“Miss what?” he asked, sitting beside her.

“I don’t know, the quietness, the stars. It’s just different. I know, it sounds stupid… it’s just, I’ve been on my own for so long without anyone caring. It’s a little overwhelming having someone care about me now; especially when they hardly know me. Everything Roz has done, I mean, who even does that?”

Alex watched her. She was so animated when she talked. Her face lit up with expressions, her hands waved through the air as if she needed them to help her communicate.  Everything was light and easy going until dinner was over. Since the drive home, Clair seemed sad, but Alex let her ramble, venting whatever was bottled up inside her.

“And you,” she said, looking over at Alex, “if it weren’t for you, I wouldn’t be here.” Clair sat up, crossing her legs up under her. “And this date—I mean, this hanging out we did tonight. It was the best night I’ve had since I left home. Thank you for that.” She picked blades of grass with her fingers, tearing them into tiny pieces. “You didn’t have to take me out, but you did it anyway.”

His eyes traveled up her arms to her neck. Her skin looked so fair and soft under the moonlight, it made him want to run his hands over it.  “You don’t have to thank me. I wanted to take you out tonight. I’m happy you said yes. It’s been quite some time since I’ve been out on date.” Yes, a date. He didn’t want to just “hang out”; no, he wanted to know everything about her. To hold her hand, touch her skin, and taste her lips. But would she want the same things as he? He still didn’t know.

“Oh, and this,” she said, holding the charm out from around her neck, “you shouldn’t have bought me this. But I do love it. Thank you.”

Alex leaned forward, taking the charm between his fingers. “I’m glad I saw you looking at it. It looks perfect on you.” He laid the charm down against her chest. Lightly, he traced his fingers up the side of her neck, her hair cupped around her face. Alex stared straight into her eyes, dark under the night’s sky. Her lips parted slightly and Alex could feel her breath quicken on his skin. He wanted nothing more than to feel her lips on his. He slipped his hand further up Clair’s neck and heard her breath catch as if she’d stopped breathing. With his face only inches away from her mouth, he whispered, “If you don’t want me to kiss you right now, you’d better tell me.”

 

Author Bio:

Loni Flowers – Author

Loni Flowers lives in Eastern North Carolina with her husband; two wild toddlers, who never slow down for a second; and three couch-potato dogs, who only raise an eye when foods around. She spends her days working full-time for a well-known bank and when Loni isn’t there, you can find her playing on the internet. Chatting on Twitter and Facebook is her weakness!
She loves to read and write, though can’t see to find time to do them both at the same time! Balance… she has none!
An easy reader, Loni loves most genre, but she’s a definite sucker for a good romance story!
Contemporary romance is her writing genre of choice but she’s not opposed to writing something different should an excellent idea strike.

Some of Loni’s favorite authors include: L.J. Kentowski, Stefne Miller, Cassandra Clare, J.K. Rowling, and Karen Marie Moning, Nicholas Sparks, and Jodi Picoult… just to name a few.

 

Blog:  http://www.loniflowersauthor.com/

 

Web: http://www.loniflowers.com/

 

Twitter: https://twitter.com/#!/LoniFlowers

 

Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/AuthorLoniFlowers

 

Goodreads: http://www.goodreads.com/author/show/5405526.Loni_Flowers

Toe-tally Loved!

Every person, no matter how beautiful, sexy, in shape or “with it” they may be has some part of them that they are or have been  insecure about. As often happens with me, a comment got me thinking about it.

Someone once asked me–If you could have cosmetic surgery and change anything about yourself, what would it be? My answer? My feet. More specifically, my toes. So when Renee asked to see my toe rings and I told her I’d share. I also decided to share a bit about how I overcame my insecurity.

Gold flower on the right, gold dolphins on the left.

These are my toes…and maybe you can’t see them very well, but those are only a couple of toe rings. The flower was a gift. The dolphins were purchased at a jewelry kiosk in a mall. As you can see, they’re not perfectly symmetrical. Although my feet are a little wide, it was the lack of symmetry that bothered me.

You see, I was always the “perfect” daughter. Not so much in the sense that I was actually perfect. It was more that I was blessed. I’ve always had the cute, exotic face (and I don’t say this in conceit, but rather what has been told to me most of my life). Growing up I was petite, outgoing, smart. I made friends easily and rarely had to spend much time on studying. Then I’d look down and see my less than perfect feet.

White gold band with light pink stones

 

My sister, who was a bit shy and had to study long and hard to do well in school has perfect feet. Back then, in a house where sibling rivalry abounded, it was the one thing she had that I didn’t. Oddly enough, I didn’t begrudge her the perfect feet. I just hated that mine weren’t. (By the way, that, too was purchased at one of those kiosks.)

Thanks to my insecurity I rarely wore sandals or opened toed shoes. That included flip flops. I was too self conscious to get a pedicure. Rarely did I paint my nails because that would mean touching them, looking at them. To me they were hideous.

Sometime in my late teens I started seeing a guy. Okay, so “seeing” may be a bit strong for what we were to one another. He was more like a boy toy. A friend with limited benefits. He knew I was a virgin and wouldn’t have actual intercourse with him, but we sure flirted with those boundary lines.

Why am I bringing him up? Part of our “play time” together was spent with him doing things to my body to try to convince me to give him my virginity. One day, laying naked in his bed, he trailed kisses down the center of my spine, down my buttock and legs (yes, including the backs of my knees…Yum!) until he got to my feet. I started to pull away…but the feel of his tongue on my ankle stopped me. I told him he didn’t have to touch me there….and he laughed. He obviously knew something I didn’t. As he teased the underside of my feet, I found myself squirming….and feeling very hot. When he sucked my toes into his hot mouth one at a time…I almost lost my mind. He worshipped my feet. Didn’t even hesitate.

His actions and my responses had me rethinking my feelings about my toes. No, they weren’t perfect…but they didn’t bother him. Then I had my first pedicure. It wasn’t as horrible as I thought it would be…and no one looked disgusted or said mean things. Then I moved to Florida…and flip flops became my favorite kind of footwear.

My favorite flip flops and toe rings

Somewhere along the way I met a foot fetishist who wanted me to wear sexy open toed shoes and walk all over him (literally). Maybe it was that moment when I stopped worrying all together. Shoot, if a connoisseur of feet could enjoy my feet, why shouldn’t I?

Above is a picture of me in my favorite flip flops…they’re sequined Dallas Cowboy flip flops. The toe ring on the left is white gold with pink stones all the way across….also picked up at one of those kiosks. The one on the right…that’s my favorite ring. I think I picked it up at one of the beach shops (maybe in Venice or Sarasota). It has a clear rubber wrap around so it looks like a flower floating on your toe.

So now you know my dirty little secret…the insecurity I’ve harbored about my body. I’m so glad someone helped me face my “ugliness” and overcome it. These days I don’t really care what other people think. I believe that every part of me is beautiful…and made just the way God intended me.

What about you? What part of you have you hated? Do you still? If you’ve overcome it…I’d love to hear how you achieved your success. If not, I hope one day you find a way to believe that you’re beautiful…inside and out. (I know you won’t believe me, but I hope this helps to show you that it CAN be overcome.)

In the meantime…I’ll leave you with some fun music by Zac Brown Band about Toes.

What’s On My…

As often happens in blogs, I borrowed this idea from Renee Schuls-Jacobson.

 

VANITY: Sunscreen foundation (living in Florida, the sun can age you prematurely), tweezers, a small flat iron & toothbrush/toothpaste

PERENNIAL TO DO LIST: Weed the garden, Tidy up my office

REFRIGERATOR SHELVES: Eggs, Sparkling ICE flavored water, almond milk, left overs

ITINERARY: For the year?  Authors After Dark Convention in Savannah in August, trip back home to Chicago in September, Thanksgiving football game in Dallas.

FANTASY ITINERARY: Month long cruise along the Mediterranean (Stops in Italy, Greece, Portugal, Spain & the South of France). Would also love to take hubby with me to the Philippines so he can see a bit of where I grew up.

PLAYLIST: I’m pretty eclectic. My music varies from country to rock (hard, soft, classic, metal) to show tunes to old school jazz. As long as there is a great lyric…I’m there. I prefer to sing torch ballads, but like I said, lyrics are what make the song for me.

NIGHTSTAND: Chargers, pen, paper, books.

WORKOUT PLAN: Well, I plan to work out… it doesn’t always happen. But when I do it’s a minimum of 30 minutes on the treadmill followed by abs or weights. I do walk the dogs pretty consistently.

IPHONE: No thanks… I’m actually more an Android girl. I do own and use an iPad, though.

TOP 5 LIST:

1. Finish/publish this book
2. Get back on my work out plan
3. Prepare the house for my sister coming to town/my birthday party
4. Play with my dogs
5. Make time to use the pool in my back yard

BUCKET LIST: Go sky diving, Travel the world with my husband.

MIND:  So much to do, so little time. Finish edits, do photo shoot for head shot, finish designing website.

BLOGROLL:  I’m subscribed to a bunch of people who impress me with their creativity, draw me out with their sense of fun, great cooks, writers, musicians, artists, photographers…

WALLS OF YOUR FAVORITE ROOM IN YOUR HOUSE: One has a book case filled with cd’s, another with books along with a print my hubby bought me for Christmas called Living Life. Here’s what it says:

Life is not a race – but indeed a journey. Be honest. Work hard. Be choosy. Say “Thank you”, “I love you” and “great job” to someone each day. Go to church, take time for prayer. The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh. Let your handshake mean more than pen and paper. Love your life and what you’ve been given, it’s not accidental – search for your purpose and do it as best you can. Dreaming does matter. It allows you to become that which you aspire to be. Laugh often. Appreciate the little things in life and enjoy them. Some of the best things really are free. Do not worry, less wrinkles are more becoming. Forgive, it frees the soul. Take time for yourself – plan for longevity. Recognize the special people you’ve been blessed to know. Live for today, enjoy the moment.

LIQUOR SHELF: This doesn’t include wine or any liquor that might be in the freezer, right? Lots of different rums, including some we picked up in Nassau…

Whiskey, Rum, Vodka (to name a few)

 

LAST CREDIT CARD STATEMENT:  Hubby’s the banker. I leave that sort of thing to him.

SCREENSAVER: I don’t have one. Man, I really need to do something about that. (On my iPad the inside wallpaper is my book cover and my outside lock screen says “I don’t have a dirty mind, I have a sexy imagination.)

TV EVERY NIGHT: Not really, though we DVR a lot of shows, so we’ll have marathons when I’m not writing…

TOES: Oddly enough, they’re nekkid right now. I need to do something about that. Maybe I’ll paint them tomorrow…and remember to wear my toe rings. (They go with flip flops…)

What are your answers?