This year has been hard for everyone. No doubt. Between the Rona, quarantine, politics (which I will not be engaging in discussion about because that’s not my style and everyone’s entitled to their opinion), all the sad and strange happenings that seem to be occurring in everyone’s lives, this world could feel downright oppressive.
If you’re not ok right now, I get it, and I’d like to hear from you because I’d like to show you some love and support (and add you to my prayers–even if it’s not something you believe it it can’t hurt, right?).
But me? I need a different kind of focus…
The reality is most of those things are outside of our control, right?
If you’ve been reading my blog for a while you already know “out of my control” is not my bag…so I focused on my controllables.
Like finding pretty purple glasses that make me feel kinda sexy.
Like discovering that the silver in my hair looks hawt enough to embrace growing it out until it’s safe enough to meet with my stylist. (I’m in a state where I could go because we’re not locked down, but she’s the caregiver for her elderly mother and I don’t feel comfortable exposing her to me when I’ve been an “essential worker” and around people this whole time.)
Most of all I’m thankful for YOU–my online family. I’m grateful for the laughter from shared memes, the check-ins, the likes and comments, the messages, the encouragement and feedback.
It meant so much to me that I wanted to do something nice for you, so TODAY and TOMORROW ONLY I’ve made A Way With Words FREE!
I’m spending today at work, but tomorrow both my brother-in-law (the ER doc) and I will be off, so we’ll enjoy our family Thanksgiving then. I can’t wait for all the fabulous food and family time.
What are you thankful for? What’s your favorite Thanksgiving tradition? What about your favorite food?
You were everything I would have wished for If I knew the miracle you’d be, The beauty of your smile, Your effortless grace, Your deep intelligence, Your sly stubbornness paired with humor and compassion, Your boundless love and abiding curiosity, Your instinctive way of knowing When to be sweet and when to play. You knew when to curl up beside me, Snuggled safe in love and comfort. Gentle and unassuming, Beautiful, loyal, and true You were the best friend I could’ve asked for, And gone way too soon. The dogter of my heart…. Happy Heavenly Birthday Principessa Isabella My heart may be broken, But I wouldn’t change a minute. I miss you, baby girl.
If you haven’t figured out yet what our topic of discussion is…let me enlighten you. A few weeks ago I was honored to spend some time chatting it up with one of my favorite people, August McLaughlin of Girl Boner, and discussing spicy sex tips.
Of course, me being me, we can’t introduce the tip without sliding in deeper so you really feel and appreciate the meat, IYKWIM. Every bump of knowledge and stroke of experience builds and drives towards a much more adventurous and satisfying sexual experience.
And I enjoy facilitating the dialogue and experiences as we openly share and discuss things that many might feel belong only in the bedroom.
Me? Not so much, but then, the joke runs in my family that the first man I ever flirted with naked was probably the doctor that delivered me into this world, and the spanking was just icing on the cake. LOL! (We joke…. no actual impropriety happened at my birth, I promise.)
So why do I refer to mutual masturbation as my sexual gateway drug of choice? Because probably my biggest, most favorite thing in the world is something super simple, inexpensive, and a huge adrenaline rush under the right circumstances.
Yup, you guessed it. It’s what all those things at the top of my post have in common…. Exhibitionism.
While I don’t have to be the center of attention all the time at a party and I’m more of an ambivert than an extrovert, from a sexual aspect, I am not shy.
I’m the girl who’s more nudist at home than not.
The person who isn’t shy about unbuttoning her bikini top at the beach or pool so she doesn’t get tan lines (and if she happens to “accidentally” flash someone while adjusting or trying to tie it back up, c’est la vie).
For me, there’s a freedom and a thrill at the thought that someone is finding my body or what I’m doing exciting and arousing. I also perform better at some things when I know I might have an audience.
I know what you’re thinking… Kitt, what do you mean, right? Well, I have a little bit of a gag reflex. I know all the tricks and they help, but that requires I think about what I’m doing to prevent that choking and retching (which, BTW, isn’t really all that sexy…and can be a turn off/fear inducer), but if we’re in a car and I lean over and undo my man’s pants while he’s driving? Wow… No thought needed. I’m feeling free, loose, and sexy as hell.
A couple disclaimers… I don’t recommend doing this on busy streets or during rush hour traffic. No need to get in an accident or arrested. Also, make sure your partner can handle the excitement. Not everyone can, so start with a few strokes of the hand to see if it’s doable (and if your partner finds it as exciting as you do, because as much as it saddens me to admit, not everyone is an exhibitionist).
This may explain how vehicular sex found its way into my first couple of books… And the mile-high scene in my first full sized novel.
So here are a few misunderstandings about exhibitionism…
Exhibitionism doesn’t always = crowds. It can be an audience of one.
You can be both shy and an exhibitionist.
Exhibitionist isn’t just for submissives. In fact, many Dominants love the power of controlling their audience.
Not every Exhibitionist is an attention whore and vice versa.
I’m sure I missed a few myths, and I’m sure some of you could fill in the blanks—and I hope you do.
Truth is, some of the sexiest things I’ve done were a thousand times heightened by both knowing someone could or was watching and/or the fear of getting caught.
While I know it’s not for everyone, there’s something incredibly freeing for me knowing I’m being watched, admired, and that my every move is exciting to my partner. The power I have over their arousal and my own is thrilling. So yeah, I’ll often kick it off with a mutual masturbation game. You sit on that sofa while I sit on the love seat across from you. I’ll touch myself. You’re welcome to watch and touch yourself, but you’re not allowed to touch me until I say so. Oh yeah… And please feel free to let me know how much you’re dying to touch me or for me to touch you. I’ll let you know when you’ve got the green light. 😉
Yes, in my humble opinion, sex should be fun and adventurous. It should be an exciting, exotic trip you take together.
What excites you? Are you more exhibitionist or voyeur? And maybe my kink isn’t yours… That’s ok. Yours might not be mine, either, but I’m always willing to share and explore and try to understand, so please feel free to give me your thoughts.
Hello blogosphere! I know. I KNOW! Kitt, where’ve you been? Your posting has been sporadic at best lately…
You’re right. I’m sorry. Like everyone else, 2020 has been a rollercoaster. But I’m kinda over talking about the bad and the sad, okay? So let’s talk about what I’ve been up to, shall we?
First, I’m practically waist deep into my next book from my Lovers and Lyrics series…and yes, I’ve got a name for it. How does Go Ahead and Break My Heart sound? Personally, I love it. And I’ve started sharing teasers and info on my Facebook Author Page and also on Goodreads, so I’d love for you to either friend or follow me for updates. I’ve also recently fallen in love with Bookbub and would love to be found there.
I also had a chance to catch up with one of my favorite fellow bloggers and dear friends, Girlboner’s own August McLaughlin, for her smexilicious podcast. Those of you who’ve been regulars on here know just how much I love talking down-to-earth, real sex discussions…tips included (and not just on the peen…hehehe).
If you wanna take a listen, here are a few different ways you can make that happen: Girboner Radio’s Homepage, Apple podcasts, or iHeart Radio. If you’d like to get an idea of what we talked about first, drop by August’s blog to get the Cliff’s Notes version. 🙂 And no, I’m not gonna tell you what I talked about…mostly because I’m hoping you’ll get curious and check it out, then give some feedback.
But it’s not always all about me. Well, ok. It kind of is…in that this is my blog and I share all my stuff. Next up is my latest author friend/book discovery. E.J. Frost is a UK author I’ve gotten quite friendly with online.
The truth is, I get nervous about reading and reviewing a book once I know and love the author because…what if I hate it? What if they’re not as good as I built them up to be in my mind? Will it change how I look at them? Well, the good news is… SHE WAS FABULOUS! (And I left her a 5 Star Review.) If you haven’t checked her out yet, you should… Although Daddy/littles aren’t my kink, I do enjoy reading them, and the way she went about it? Super intriguing. Can’t wait for the sequel!
Last, but certainly not least…. I’ve been craving more S.H. Timmins, and since I’ve already read all her dark books and her YA/NA and loved them, I decided to go back to the beginning of her writing career. Yes, I hit the backlist and found her first book which was a romantic comedy. While, yes, you could tell it was her first book due to a few editing issues, the magic of her writing is more than enough to overcome it.
The above quote is from her book, Bent, that I’m in the middle of reading (and you’re welcome to either read along or follow my journey on Goodreads), and I’ve laughed out loud more than once. No, penile fractures are nothing to laugh about….but they kind of are, too.
You know what else was cool? It was kinda like I was psychic because… Look what she just announced on FB today!
Yup! She said it’s coming soon and I, for one, can’t wait!
So those are the good things besides my sister and her family moving out of Chicago and closer to yours truly… Now that they’re less than 30 minutes away, I can see everyone, including my sweet nephew, pretty much whenever I’d like.
What silver linings has this pandemic brought you? Do you need a hug? I’m happy to supply those, too.
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One woman. Two bandmates. Will Kalina come between them, or is between them where she’s meant to be? If love is a song, what happens when the tune of your heart sounds more like a trio? Will outside forces generate discord and sharp notes, or can three unique souls blend to create the perfect harmony? You won’t want to miss a beat of this love ballad.
Praise from Author S. H. Timmins, “Kitt Crescendo has outdone herself with this witty, heartfelt, and smoldering story of three people who find love in the most unexpected way.”
Praise from Author Natasha Blackthorne: “A sizzling hot, fun, contemporary erotic romance that is filled with wit, banter, country music, poetry and love scenes that are emotionally and psychologically satisfying.”
It feels like a lifetime ago instead of 8 years. My heart aches for the loss of the beautiful soul taken way too soon. It’s hard to believe that nearly two weeks ago we lost you.
The picture above was one of those rare, magical times where we all seemed to be of the same color coordinated mind and it was too perfect not to convert into a photo op. Now I’m just grateful to have this little memento.
These women and their smiling faces held many of my cherished moments in my memory bank of a prior career. They were all smart, kind, well meaning, and with good hearts filled with kindness. They cherished their families, especially their children.
Imagine my shock when two of the ladies here (and one of the men not pictured) reached out to tell me that the lady in the white blouse standing on the far right was dead. Not only dead, but violently murdered. Shot and killed by her ex in what was being called a domestic violence case.
The response from all of us who knew and worked with her was utter devastation. What about her two young daughters who she used to bring by to show off? The ones she couldn’t stop talking about? They were her whole universe! Her reason for being. What was their world going to be without her? Weren’t they teenagers now? To lose a mom at any time is hard, but in this way during this time? My heart still bleeds for them. I can’t begin to imagine their devastation.
The news reports say she’d finally permanently broken it off and had stopped by the house one last time to get the last thing she’d left behind. Her cat. Because that was a big part of who she was. A lover of animals. She shouldn’t have lost her life.
Truth is, we all remember her ex. I remember thinking he was a bit of an ass and way too possessive. Hot headed, too. But never in a million years did I expect this. I knew they fought sometimes, but I never had any inclination that he had been this violently volatile. So many memories tumble out and I wonder what we missed and if there was anything we could’ve done that might have altered this path and then I realize that those thoughts are pointless.
Live in the here and now. Ache for those left behind, and do what you can to live life. Don’t squander it. In my own way I’ll try to do right by her girls as they deserve to be taken care of and to know that their mom was loved.
And if you are reading this and you are a victim of domestic abuse, know someone going through it, or even suspect it… PLEASE, I’m begging you, reach out for help. Call the Domestic Abuse Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 or check out their website HERE!
Yeah… as if COVID, quarantine, and murder hornets weren’t enough, right? Don’t worry, I’m hurting, but ok. My support system is strong and I’m working both my day job and writing my next novel. What’s been going on in your world?
This is the question I asked myself as I read The Sharp Edge of Bliss. How can someone, bought and paid for, retain a generosity of spirit, a tender heart, a sense of optimism, and a willingness to love unconditionally…even all the ugly, messed up parts people hope no one sees?
It boggled my mind.
And she wasn’t naive… She knew she was a commodity. In fact, this quote hit me so hard I had to save and share!
She knows exactly who she is. She understands her role. And yet she brings out the best in both anti-heroes.
Sorcha Black’s new release came out last month, and I’ll be honest… I was hesitant to read it. Not because I was afraid I wouldn’t like it. Because the truth is, her stories? They are steaming hot with an edge. But this time? Her description mentioned a sex worker and a possible hit man. It sounded a little dark. And given the climate of the world right now, I hit the pause button.
I couldn’t stay away that long. I can’t even tell you how glad I am that I didn’t because these characters needed to be in the world. Despite all the darkness and roadblocks all these characters were compelling and tugged at you.
If you’re looking for beauty in the midst of all the ugly? Light shining in the darkness like a beacon? Believe it or not, you couldn’t choose a better book than this one, so I strongly urge you to click HERE and get your copy!
And Sorcha! You were my last read in the month of March and YOU were worth the wait.
I grew up around music. I’d been singing most of my life. As you can see from this picture, my piano lessons (which didn’t quite take…too impatient) started early, too.
But music was the first art I was introduced to, and it’s what soothes my soul.
My passion, however, belongs to the written word. There’s something about telling a story whether by poetry or by prose that has always captivated my attention. It’s a world in which I have the patience and perseverance to study, to practice, to re-write (you know, the dread word–edit) until you have something of worth and beauty.
Although the first album I ever purchased was Michael Jackson’s Thriller (a classic, to be sure), it was Kenny Rogers who left an indelible mark on my life through his amazing voice and incredible skill at story telling.
The first song of Kenny’s that I recall hearing was The Gambler. The tale had intriguing characters, real life lessons, and a story you could actually see come alive if you closed your eyes. I. Was. In. Love.
Kenny spoke to the writer in me. He fired my imagination. He even made me look at music a bit differently. In fact, music actually features prominently in my writing style. While I can’t listen to it while I’m actually writing (I have a tendency to type whatever words I’m hearing), finding the right music before I start to write helps me effectively convey the correct mindset or emotion for my scene or characters.
For example, if I want to portray a heartless villainess? A song like this one (I’m a military brat, so you do a vet dirty, I’m gonna have issues) will put me in the right mindset to create a real bitch.
Or if I want to convey someone who’s had rough breaks in life, but has always done the right thing, but in his current crossroads, he has to play dirty to be the hero, I’d play something like this one, a personal favorite.
Or maybe the lovers are both dumbasses (because let’s be honest, that happens) and we need them to realize they’re about to lose everything, or maybe that they were never right for each other and it’s time to let go… This one fits the bill.
Or when I need to capture the heart of the relentless soul who dreams big and will find a way to make it happen…
And when my hero is headed the wrong direction and about to eff things up with the heroine because he’s so busy with the wrong things he takes her for granted? This song does it for me…
At the end of the day, it’s his poetry and lyricism that engaged the writer in me so strongly. He made you feel his songs, and they were so relatable.
In fact, in my latest release, A Way With Words, I shared several song lyrics I’d created exclusively for this release and can’t help but feel maybe his energy influenced me. Here’s a taste of one of them…
“Did you see me Through the haze of desire The passion and fire That you shared with someone else, Did you see me?
Was I stupid? To believe in promises made, The foundation we laid When I gave you my ring. Was I stupid?
Did your words mean so little You could throw me away Tell her you love her, Worship her body In the bed where we lay? Was I so easy to betray? I deserve more than this.
Will you realize That my heart can be broken I deserve more than token Lies to make me stay, I won’t look away. Will you realize?
Did your words mean so little You could throw me away Tell her you love her, Worship her body In the bed where we lay? Was I so easy to betray?
I deserve more than this. Did you lose me Or did I find my rebirth? Discover my self-worth In walking away, not looking back Yeah, I found me.
Did your words mean so little You could throw me away Tell her you love her, Worship her body In the bed where we lay? Was I so easy to betray? I deserve more than this. Yeah, I found me.”
So I owe a huge debt of gratitude for all the joy and inspiration Kenny’s music has brought me “Through the Years.” (See what I did there?) LOL!
Who inspires you? Is it music? Movies? I’d love to know…
And to close out, I think it’s only fitting I share a song he did with one of his oldest, dearest friends… It’s like they knew. And besides, he felt like an old friend to me, too. Rest in Heaven, Kenny.
I like to think that I’m a strong woman, but even strong women falter. Fortunately for me, I’m also surrounded by a legacy of powerful women beginning with my mom and continuing on in my sister and myself.
It’s a message I was fortunate to be taught at an early age, and as I got older, I began to realize just how important something I’d always grown up with was as I met other people and made friends. Not everyone had my innate confidence and belief in myself. In fact, I started to realize that while I was raised to believe I could do anything and be anything, many of my friends were unsure…and my mission was born.
We women hear so many things about who and what we’re supposed to be. Many of these expectations are unrealistic, but it doesn’t stop us from beating ourselves up or calling ourselves names. How many times have we called ourselves “dummy” or “stupid” or just gotten plain angry at ourselves? And don’t get me started on all the times we apologize whether we need to or not.
That kind of negative self talk has such a strong impact on our psyches. And the thing is, even in the world of romance novels, the wilting violet heroine in need of rescue is pretty common. I’ll be honest, as much as I’ve always loved romance, these were my least favorite characters.
It’s why I gravitated to authors like Julie Garwood and Nora Roberts and the late, great Johanna Lindsey. Their characters were strong, powerful, and empowered women who rescued their men as much as their men did them.
When I began writing I knew I wanted my females to be strong and empowered both emotionally and sexually. I also wanted my female friendships to be the kind I’d been blessed with. Encourage-rs, supporters, and empowerment mongers. Sure, there are haters, but we make the choice if our lives are going to be hater free zones by not allowing that behavior in ourselves or the people we surround ourselves with.
And I make it a personal mission to try to help build up the women around me. To support them. To remind them of their power when they may forget. To be the friend I’d want to have. And to remember that what makes ups great is having faith in ourselves and those around us no matter how bleak a picture the media may try to paint of our world. I truly believe we can create a world we’d want to live in, but it all starts from within us.
Positive self talk is important and powerful. So is the message you put out to those around you. You are important. You are powerful. You matter. I’m grateful to have people like you who stop by and read my love (and self-love) letters.
What message do you want to share with the women in your world? Yes, these messages are important not just today, but everyday…
So, I've been spanked, hard! I have spanked myself hard, I have spanked others even harder and I have fallen headlong into a sexual adventure of monumental proportions with my lover. I'm now heading for a different road, one that still includes all the best bits of me, all the naughty bits, all the hot steamy bits, and I'm creating characters to play out my delightful erotic fantasies, I hope you enjoy the new ride as much as the previous one...