Combustion

Hot,

the spell of

sweet whispered

words,

erotic magic,

pictures seared

into brain

seductive

as blazing fire

licks trails on

heated body.

Tongue,

designs the path

velvet lips follow,

soft glances,

biting nips

score across

damp, heated skin.

Nipples taut,

begging

for firm attention,

suckling moisture

to stinging throb,

caught

between ivory teeth;

No mercy.

Pressure expands,

pleasure follows,

led to the core

of destruction

and ecstasy.

Hard fingers

tease,

wet seductive proof

of deepening hunger,

gentle flicks,

firm pressure,

controlling hand,

shudders course through

body uncontrolled,

throb of desire

pulses to center of the universe,

tiny nub,

begging,

waiting

to detonate.

With one word….

….COME!

Advertisements

Feminism and Submission: Kinky Coexistence #BOAW2018

In the last couple of years there has been a huge resurgence of attention and activism placed on feminism and women’s rights. We’ve had coordinated women’s rights marches, much more discussion around equality in pay, education, and career opportunities.

Yes, as a group we’ve become loud and proud, creating campaigns like #metoo and “Fight Like a Girl” designed to encourage our fellow woman to speak out and share in solidarity to the female sisterhood.

Even in movies we’ve been a force to be reckoned with….bringing out badasses and heroes like Arya, Khaleesi, Rey and Wonder Woman… and other movies like Black Panther and Hidden Figures where the women were strong, smart, and powerful. And this is all amazing. Really!

But I wonder sometimes if, in our battle for equality and power, we’ve lost some sensitivity and somehow managed to push others in our sisterhood into a deeper closet…made them doubt themselves and their acceptance in our new, fierce world.

Submission in a time where we’re calling on the badass women must be so difficult. I mean, living in the often highly misunderstood BDSM world is already tough. They already get the whole…blah, blah, blah…”abuse”,….blah, blah, blah…”Stockholm syndrome” crap from people with no understanding of the “Safe, Sane, and Consensual” lifestyle.

But now, when we’re talking about powerful women, I’m sure that there are many women fighting against their nature because somehow submission in this new world (not that it wasn’t already there a little bit) might make them seem weak or the ‘unfeminist.’ Or maybe their sisters will think maybe they’re not living up to their gender/power roles and are somehow encouraging female oppression, either silently make them feel like an insult or embarrassment to the cause, or outright say it…because they don’t understand.

And they’d be WRONG!

“A submissive is free to do whatever they desire, whenever they desire. Yet even with all their freedom, they choose to kneel. That is why submission is so beautiful.” ~ Unknown

My first contribution to Beauty of a Woman GirlBoner edition was Sacred Sexuality. At that time, I discussed my thoughts about being both a Christian and kinky. Why do I bring it up? Because I believe there’s something pretty sacred about the power exchange, too. Heck, people like to throw around the “wives submit unto your husbands” verses as a reason NOT to embrace Christianity, but I believe they don’t fully understand (or choose not to) the difference between submission and subjugation. Plus, the scriptures also say submit to each other, so it also doesn’t limit itself as a one way path down a gender specific street. Pronouns CAN be exchanged, in my opinion.

“The idea of submission is never meant to allow someone to overstep another’s boundaries. Submission only has meaning in the context of boundaries, for boundaries promote self-control and freedom. If a woman is not free and in control of herself, she is not submitting anyway. She is a slave subject to a slave driver, and she is out of the will of God.” ~ Henry Cloud

Submission is a physical, emotional, and mental act of consciously and deliberately giving oneself over into the loving care of another. Far from weak, it’s one of the hardest things to do, and only the strongest of soul and purpose is capable of giving up so much trust and placing it into a worthy Dominant’s hands.

“Fight for freedom when someone suppresses you.. Be submissive when someone gives freedom for you.” Shivaranjani Murugesan

I think that probably speaks to the strength, beauty , and power of submission pretty well. It takes a strong, self aware woman to willingly and knowingly walk this path. Isn’t that also what being a feminist is about? Knowing and understanding your needs and fearlessly reaching out and grabbing it? Being a trailblazer on a road less travelled? Knowing your true self and knowing what it takes to make yourself happy, then fearlessly reaching out for it, screw the voice of public opinion?

I mean, there’s something exquisitely beautiful about BDSM… It works because there’s an honesty to the relationship that you won’t find in many places. They realize that no one gets through life without a few wounds and scars, fears and insecurity. And it’s about building such a strong foundation in honesty and communication that you don’t hide the realest, ugliest parts of you. Because somehow, in the give and take that happens in such a surrender, they want those parts of you, too…and help you learn to accept and love even those darker parts of your soul that make you uniquely you. And it’s true on both sides of the relationship.

“I want the parts you’ve tried to throw away. The parts you were convinced no one could love.” ~ unknown

To me, the fearless strength a submissive has…to take their power and willingly, knowingly hand it over to someone worthy…well, if that’s not both powerful woman and feminist, I don’t know what is. It’s scary, sure. Misunderstood by many, absolutely. But true to your inner self? A beacon of strength that leaves many a Dominant in awe and grateful for the amazing gift? How could they not be?

Submissive, please don’t let yourself be stifled, squashed, or afraid because of the feminist message. YOU are the embodiment of EVERYTHING that makes a woman both powerful and a survivor.

Be fearlessly you!

This post is part of The Beauty of a Woman BlogFest VII! To read more entries, and potentially win a fun prize, click HERE. on August’s McLaughlin’s site between today and 11pm PST March 9th.

Sending you all Love and Empowerment!

Lost, Broken, or Hope? Which Are You?

My heart hurts today. I just can’t sit here and say nothing. Am I the only one who feels it lately? All this hate, rage, toxicity oozing out of social media?

Can you not feel its destructiveness to your bones? I can.

There’s already so much pain and desolation and fear in the world. Must we really rabidly spew more hate into it? For the first time in a long time I hid someone’s posts from my Facebook posts from my feed because I couldn’t stand the hate messages wrapped up as “activism” anymore. Every message was filled with vitriol, spewed hate, and fanned the flames of extremist behavior while denigrating anyone who might value something other than what she believed.

I felt sad. Sorry for her. That she was so unhappy and filled with poison and looking for someone to blame. But I couldn’t be in her universe anymore. For me. I couldn’t condone her messages of verbal violence against others. That’s not a solution. That’s not helping make this world better. That’s just more of the horrible cycle of fear and hate and violence.

Listen…

I live in Florida. My heart broke for all the lost young lives. I ache for their families. It hit very close to home. The violence is not ok. I think we all agree on that. Gun control? Maybe it will work, maybe it won’t. I don’t pretend to know. Do I think mental health issues play a big part in the violence of today? Absolutely. Do I think teachers should have to carry guns? No.

Billy Graham, who has been a religious leader to many, also died this this week. He lived to a ripe old age. Good for him.

Death isn’t death. Everyone finds their strength to move on from different sources, faith in God being a big one. So when I see the same people shouting hate comments at political leaders due to gun control laws, then spewing filth, nastiness, and wishing violence on a religious leader, I get sick to my stomach. I begin to wonder just how broken you are to fan more fuels of hate after such a painful week, and I walk away.

I feel sorry for the person, but I forgive them and I leave. Because I can’t be around that. I refuse to believe that the world is so broken and disgusting that it now only filled with rage and hate and finger pointing.

I don’t like people who extol hate and vicious rage. Who fan flames of doubt and violence. I may love you as a person, but it doesn’t mean I like you. Or that I’m blind to a person’s effect.

I guess what I’m asking is this… Have you considered the message you’re sending out into the world? Is it truly representative of the person you are? Are you helping to make the world a better place? What things have been hurting your heart lately? What things have given you hope or joy?

Righteous Indignation

Darkened soul;

You speak the language of hate,

Intolerance and throw away lives.

You coat your fear

In God,

Claim faith, love,

While spewing venom.

Evil,

Hidden in rosy words,

Claiming encouragement.

The snake living in Eden.

Do you see it?

YOU are the hand

The devil is using to write

His darkness.

You say you are Christian,

Believe in God

Then spread bigotry?

Do you not recall?

“Even the demons believe in God and shudder.”

Think long.

Think hard.

Ours is not to be

Judge, jury, and executioner.

He gave his only begotten son

For ALL of us.

Not just those you deem

Acceptable

In your flawed, human eyes.

The blood of the lamb

Flowed for everyone.

The imperfect,

To be made pure through HIM.

My God is LOVE.

Not sure who yours is….

I was out. Driving to get breakfast when I saw this sign at one of the busier cross streets in my neighborhood. It sickened me as much as it saddened me. I wanted to rush out and remove the sign, but my small car couldn’t accommodate, and I didn’t want to do anything that could get me in trouble, so I did the next best thing. I reported it to the police.

As a Christian it angered me and tore at my heart. Hiding behind supporting the police and God to spew hate? Despicable. So I did what I always do when emotions get the better of me. I wrote.

Because I had to make it clear that the God I worship doesn’t seem to have much in common with theirs. And more, he’s the only judge that matters.

Love Has Many Faces

Love isn’t limited to lovers. Lovers aren’t always in love. But everyone deserves to know someone loves them. Everyone deserves to be passionately desired at least once. And everyone deserves love bonded in friendship always.

For me, music is my favorite way to express love and/or passion.

Deana Carter does a great job of describing the unselfish love necessary to a lasting long termed relationship. The BDSM photo montage to depict it in this video? Sooo apropos.

And then there’s this one. Don’t mock; yes, it’s from Glee, but it’s an awesome sone of love, friendship, acceptance, and inclusion. And really, couldn’t we all use some of that these days?

And then there’s just that body and soul love and acceptance. John Legend sings it well here.

And Thomas Rhett, of course, does a pretty great job of showcasing what happy endings could look like.

What songs speak your love language & why?

Make It Memorable; Love’s Many Faces

Valentine’s Day. The day for lovers, right? Romance, flowers, whatnot…

Yeah, maybe.

But that’s not my most memorable Valentine’s Day.

Don’t get me wrong, there were elements of those things in that day, but that’s not the BIG MOMENT.

My day?

It was supposed to be my day off, but I had to finish making a schedule (and hubby was working anyway) so I stopped in to work for a few hours. I didn’t stay long; was out by noon. No sooner had I left that my office was calling again. Turned out Edible Arrangements had been there and delivered a gift from my guy.

GREAT start to my Day, right? I headed home to start cooking hubby his favorite Filipino dishes…chicken adobo (adobong manok), fried rice, and broccoli.

Hubby walked in to a great smelling house and a hot, tasty meal… There were probably gifts, but I can’t remember now. What I do remember is that he loved the meal, that I went to bed early as I had an early work day & a 14 hour shift the next day….

Right about now you’re scratching your head and wondering what is so memorable, right?

Well, I hadn’t gotten there yet.

Sometime after 11 pm, hubby came in and woke me up. Said he was having pretty severe abdominal pain and wanted to make sure I was ok. Apparently, he was worried it might have been food poisoning except I’d been sleeping like a baby. So then he narrowed the pain to his lower right side.

Googling his symptoms, I realized it could be his appendix. He was scared, but also worried about me and work. So I talked him into going to the ER alone, making him promise to call me if it turned out to be anything serious. At about 1:30 am, I got the call. He sounded a little terrified.

Him: Lovey, they told me I have a necrotic appendix.

Me: Oh no!

Him: Can you come here? They told me I need surgery. I tried to ask if they could write me a prescription to slow it down in the meantime so I could call a doctor and schedule it.

Me: (choking back a chuckle) Yeah. Pretty sure that’s not gonna happen.

Him: Nope, but it was worth a shot. They told me they didn’t think I understood. The ambulance is on the way now to take me to surgery. Can you come, please?

Me: I’m on my way.

Him: I can’t believe you poisoned me for Valentines Day.

Me: I did not. And stop saying that or there may be people who believe you or at least start to wonder. I’m on my way.

And that’s how I found myself in the emergency room on the 15th, calling out from my job, calling friends to walk my dogs during the day, and headed for the hospital to be with my husband.

So, yeah, my most Memorable Moment had everything to do with the ‘For Better or Worse, In Sickness and in Health’ part of our vows. Those moments mean more than any random superficial stereotypes. And that he hadn’t lost his sense of humor, even through his fear and pain? That just shows I married a badass.

So tell me about your most memorable Valentine’s Day. Did it embody any part of the wedding vow? Or are you an non-believer, feeling this only lines Hallmark’s pockets with gold?

Mixing Family and Business @BSommerland Style

Work can get pretty complicated and time consuming. For many it’s a source of frustration and despair. Why else would there be so many crazy TGIF memes and gifs? Why do people usually need to cut loose and party so intensely on Friday nights? To escape, of course.

But what if you couldn’t escape because you’re not only siblings, but you worked together? Then imagine you rarely saw eye-to-eye. What if he was a bit self absorbed, often angry, and used to getting what he wanted, when he wanted…including sex? It makes for a pretty challenging sounding life, right?

And if I told you this was a book? You’d probably be relieved, right? Because all this shit is happening to someone else? Well, that someone else is the sexy as hell Alder Trousseau. And that family business? A metal band where he’s the sexy pretty boy guitar player and his older brother is the lead singer. So that Friday escape? Rarely happens for him because they’re pretty much trapped on a tour bus or in hotels together. That’s challenging enough under the best of circumstances, and these aren’t them.

Why? Because they’ve already lost their oldest brother to the family business and rough living. Because the roadie that Alder is a bit in love with, Jesse, has history with big brother, Brave. And because the sexy new dancer, a former child actress named Danica, has suddenly piqued his interest just as it looks like he may have his shot with Jesse.

Oh, and did I mention the death threats he’s been getting? Yes, Alder has a lot going on. Will he get his man? Win the girl? Die trying? Or will he somehow find happiness against nearly insurmountable odds?

Now if you’ve ever read a Bianca Sommerland book, you know she’s a badass that has a way of heating up the pages of the books she writes whether we’re talking hockey romance, gay military, or dark BDSM styled stories. She weaves stories seamlessly and fearlessly with a sexual freedom that tittilates and leaves you begging for more…and Backlash, the first book in her Winter’s Wrath series is no different. And, right now, it’s FREE! If you have not checked her out yet, how’s your chance! I promise you won’t regret it!

I’ve been a fan of Bianca Sommerland ever since I discovered her Dartmouth Cobra hockey series. I loved the raw sensuality in her writing. I dug that her books often encompassed ménage or more relationships, however her characters directed her to go. She’s the kind of writer who looks at boundaries and rules, flips them the bird, and does what she feels is right.

Several years back, when she was just getting established, we were both at An author/reader event called Authors After Dark in Savannah and I just missed her. But I got my shot again at the Shameless Book Con back in 2016. And she was just as great in person as she was online. She colors outside the lines, boldly writes her passions, and does it with style. She is definitely someone worth reading AND stalking on social media.

Have you read any of Bianca’s books? Curious? Did I pique your curiosity? Who are your favorite rock star authors? You know me… Kitt’s always Curious. 😉