Unforgotten

My Sister, My Brother & Me

I feel you reach out
On gentle breeze,
Your soft touch
A comforting caress.

I hear your mischief
In the laughter of children;
A reminder as they play
Of innocence at its best.

See your warmth and care
In a puppy’s soulful eyes
The head resting on my knee;
Comfort to give and take.

On salty tears,
I recall the bitter and sweet,
Both joy and reflection
Of what was and will never be.

With love,
Goodbye is never final.
The heart holds tight,
Memories live on forever.

Hey Baby Brother,

Tomorrow’s your birthday. It blows my mind when I realize you would’ve been 36. It doesn’t feel like 26 years since we lost you. Part of me wonders where the time went, but that’s how it goes, right? Life happens. You move on? Wish I could tell you it was easy for us all, but you know that’s a lie.

It’s strange, really. I’ve always had a harder time around your birthday than I ever did around your death. Not sure why that is. Of course, it did not help matters when one of the worst tragedies to ever happen on US soil also happened on your birthday. Part of me wanted to lash out… Like I wasn’t dealing with enough? Because, you know…it’s all about me. Except it’s not. More families lost loved ones, like we lost you….senselessly. My empathy kicks in. We know how it feels only too well, right?

I found a great guy… It took him a long time to win your stubborn big sister over, but he finally did. He knows me, heart and soul….even all those secret places I usually hide. Of course he’s heard about you. In fact, not only does he share a September birthday with you, he knows how close we were and how hard it is for me around your day. We decided to get married close to this day to help infuse this time with some good memories…and to honor your life.

You’ll be happy to know, we still feel your presence. We’ve never lost our connection to you and we keep your memory alive. Do you know that most of your best friends are still in touch with us? They still bring you up…talk about how much they miss you. Just goes to show…age has nothing to do with the impact a person can make. You taught me that. Live life to the fullest. Look for the good. Who knew a 10 year old could be so smart?

Anyway, enough being maudlin. You know it’s not really my style. I hope you like the poem I wrote for you…a little reminder to myself of all the ways you’re still with me. Yeah, I’m still writing. Still singing, too. 🙂

Love you!