Power Of A Name

Ever have someone ask you something and the first thing that comes to mind is…”that’s an epically bad idea?” That’s what happened to me this week, and it was all around names.

Who knew I could have such a visceral reaction to something so simple?

But it makes sense, right? I mean, names help to define who we are expected to be by the world as well as who we feel we can become, right?

And as writers, haven’t there been characters you’ve agonized over, trying to find just the right name to suit their appearance and their temperament?

So what name set me in such a tailspin it shoved me back onto my blog (which I’ve missed, by the way, and I’ll go into where I’ve been another day)? The name Judas. One of my sweet co-workers asked me what I thought of that name for a little boy.

I admit it. I was pretty horrified.

Me: Why would you do that to a child?

Her: What do you mean?

Me: Do you have any idea of the connotations behind that name?

(She gave me that confused head tilt thingie that all dogs have down pat when they hear strange noises)

Her: Huh?

Me: Dude, Judas betrayed Jesus and got him killed! For 30 pieces of silver.

Male Co-worker chimes in: I think it’s a cool name.

Her: (looks over at me) She’s right, though.

Guy: But who was Jesus back then? A nobody. Why should he have cared? It was for money.

Me: (gasping in shock) Uh…even if you think back then Jesus was a nobody (and I definitely had no plans of getting into a deep theological discussion with two kinds I suspected weren’t very versed in that subject or history), he was supposed to be one of his best friends. They were together non-stop for 3 years! And he betrayed that friendship for 30 pieces of silver.

Her: That’s true. They were best friends.

Me: And, he felt so shitty afterwards that he committed suicide. Why would you want to put all that on a kid? Don’t you know that even to this day, when someone calls someone Judas they’re calling the person a traitor? And that happened a long time ago.

I didn’t even go into how much more time had passed compared to Benedict Arnold’s and how the negative connotations never disappeared.

As I thought back on that chat I got to thinking about all the effed up names out there. And I’m not just talking some of the sillier ones celebs come up with like Apple, etc. I mean, a good friend of mine in healthcare was telling me that she’d seen several people come in and write this ‘La-a’ one admission paperwork for their little ones. Unsure how to pronounce, she asked and was told (with a look telling her they thought she was stupid) “It’s La-dash-a!”

Am I the only one not cool enough to know that the proper words for punctuation marks are now to be part of the name?

And what names do you feel give bad juju anyone with the misfortune of having it? Are there certain names you feel predestine people for questionable career choices? And are there ones you absolutely love? How did you get your name? I’d love to hear from you!

#RockinReads Giveaway and Tattooed Baristas

I have several major passions…. Most of you who’ve stopped by my page pretty regularly know that one of my big addictions is coffee. In fact, it’s a big part of what began a beautiful friendship with one of my favorite authors (who has since become a friend), Lissa Matthews.

We have a mutual passion for coffee, experimenting in the kitchen, hotties…and she’s a terrific writer. I was a total fan girl first. She made my day the first time she responded to one of my Tweets. Her Blue Jeans and Hard Hats series is one of my all time favorites. Her Simple Need series? A close second… And don’t even get me started on how much I love her gay romances. Yum!

And then she comes out with this awesome new series that surrounds some of our favorite commonalities. How could I not share something with a cover this HAWT and a story this fun?

Don’t believe me? Check out this blurb:

Derek Forrester couldn’t lie his way out of a paper bag, but somehow he’s managed to convince his less than approving high society mother of his engagement to the teal haired, dangerously curved, tattoo covered, coffee cart owning girl named Peggy.

Peg, not ‘Peggy’, is far from amused by Derek’s fib, but the way he kissed, left her wondering what might have been if she hadn’t been paid to play along.

The stakes are higher than the original bargaining price, a new business is getting off the ground, and it’s going to take a whole lot more than caffeine to get through this wedded mess.

Sounds like terrific fun, right? The Tattooed Barista has one of the coolest, most unique covers I’ve seen in a long time and I’m in love with it.

Want a chance to win a copy? I want you to share your favorite coffee shop drink and the title to one of Lissa Matthews’ books that YOU think is most intriguing based on the cover or blurb…or if you’ve read her stuff. You have until the end of September 30th EST to qualify to win!

And if you haven’t met Lissa yet, Stop by her Facebook or Twitter and say hello. Not for points. Just because she’s cool as $hit….and tell her I’ve been bragging on her and how amazing I think she is.

And if you’re looking for more books to win? CLICK the button below. It will guide you to other participating blogs!

T is for Tied Up

Image courtesy of adamr at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

I have a fascination for restraints and bondage….

Not on me, mind you. I’m a bit too much of a control freak to ever feel comfortable enough to willingly place myself in someone else’s power. But someone trusting me enough to voluntarily give themselves over into my care? Especially in a sensual manner? What a turn on!

I probably should have noticed when I was younger that I had a thing for being on top, taking my much bigger and stronger boyfriends’ (hello, I’m 5’3″ and only weighed about 105 lbs back then, so of course they were bigger) wrists into my hand and holding them over their head while I kissed them senseless. Yes, even though that immobilization was pretty much voluntary and all about the imagery & sense of helplessness more so than the real deal, it got my juices going.

It may explain why, at the age of 18, I “tied” my boyfriend down with some thumb cuffs. He was 6′ tall and about 160 lbs. of muscle, but he was helpless while I explored his body with my tongue until he begged for mercy. Oh, so much fun.

And then I discovered rope bondage through reading and the internet and became very intrigued. Also known as rigging, it’s both an art and a sexy practice. At least to my way of thinking. It’s one of those items that’s definitely on my “must learn” list.

If you’re interested in experimenting in bondage there are several safety aspects to keep in mind:

• You may want to consider staying away from ties, scarves, and/or silky materials if your partner loves to struggle against their bindings. These materials will tighten up if you fight your bindings too hard and will tighten, causing circulation to become cut off.
• Make sure to have some sort of shears/scissors if you’re going to play with clothing or ropes. You never know when you might need to free your partner quickly, and you need to be able to cut through bindings. You can’t guarantee that your partner won’t panic and need a rescue.
• Have a safe word and don’t be afraid to use it. Both you AND your partner need to trust each other. Bondage requires both that and patience.
• Bondage is not ideal if one or both parties have been drinking. Tying someone up requires time, patience, and trust. By the way, this is true regardless of what kind of bondage you might indulge in.

There. You have my kink confession. Now it’s your turn. What kink have you always either been curious about or wanted to try? Judgment free zone, right here!

K is for Kinship and Kink

Courtesy of Bitstrips on Facebook

Kink– sex that deviates from the traditional (and potentially boring) missionary position. Okay, so it’s really more than that, but you get my gist.

Like a little ass slapping and hear pulling with your doggie style? There are those that would call that kink.

Like to take charge in the bedroom? Control the play? Make someone beg? Submit to your dark, carnal desires? Yeah, that’s kink, too.

Enjoy a partner in crime in your seduction? Prefer 3 or more people with your seductions?

Preoccupied with anal sex? Seduced by feet?

Heck, there are so many more kinks out there it’s easy to lose track. But one thing is for certain… in the fetish world, there’s an acceptance, understanding, and camaraderie. No judgments.

Which reminds me…. I have always had a thing for bondage, but I’m dying to try my hand at learning rope bondage. I think it’s sexy as hell. Time to start looking for someone to give me rigging lessons. 🙂

It’s actually through my love of kink that I made some of my coolest online friendships…that have blossomed into relationships that I cherish.

It was through our mutual love of kinky books (and sex) that I met the ultra fabulous, Ande Lyons. Thanks to shared interests and conversations, she invited me to guest on her Bring Back Desire site. Here’s one I wrote for her on Exploring Sensual Pleasure With Common Household Items. Through our shared interests, we’ve built a friendship for the ages.

Through blogging I discovered fellow blogger, author, and sexual empowerment advocate extraordinaire, August McLaughlin of Girl Boner. Her passion and desire to educate and help drew me in. Our mutual desire to empower and battle sexual shaming made us pretty much instant friends. One of my biggest thrills was guesting on her Girl Boner radio. If you haven’t checked her out yet, you don’t know what you’re missing! She’s sweet, smart, and savvy.

It was through a mutual friend who noted my love of the “kink and taboo” that I was introduced to one of my dear friends, the ever interesting and intellectual Professor Taboo. It took no time at all for me to become very intrigued with his blog posts. Due to our common ground and mutual love of dialogue, it was no time at all before we were very active in responding to one another’s posts. He’s one of those guys who calls it like he sees it, keeps it real, and lives his life unapologetically. The fact that we joke about what kind of clash for dominance would ever occur is just icing on the cake. 😉

Between Twitter, Facebook, blogging, and writing it was only a matter of time before Anna of Herding Cats and Burning Soup blog and I became friendly. In fact, despite the fact that we had connected through social media, it wasn’t until a mutual friend told me about her shared Facebook group, The Kinkery, that we really interacted with any sense of frequency. She’s a woman with a reading fetish for pierced cock, great dialogue, and sexy book covers. And then there’s the fact that she’s pretty no holds barred about what she’ll welcome on her blog. Is it any wonder I think she rocks? By the way, she’s also the one who talked me into this A-Z challenge.

Yep! There’s a distinct kinship that is created when mutually open minded and adventurous people come together. What things have you found bond you together with fellow bloggers or internet friends? What kinks do you enjoy? Is there something your dying to learn more about? Share! Who knows? I may even be able to help point you in the right direction…

Me? Talking Zombies? No WAAAAY!

But I am!

Okay, so you all know I’m not exactly the Walking Dead fanatic most people (including the hubby) are. Well, except for maybe Warm Bodies, Resident Evil (because who doesn’t like Milla Jovovich, Oded Fehr, or Wentworth Miller), and Army of Darkness (Hello! Bruce Campbell!).

But other than that? Nope. Not interested. To be honest, I don’t tend to like the gruesome or creeptastic most of the time.

But I love the creativity of my pal, author Lori Whitwam. So I thought I’d introduce her most recent work to you guys. Plus, she doesn’t only write zombies. It’s just her most recent release, The Dead Survive!

So check her out!

Here’s a little bit about my pal (and fellow dog lover), Lori.

Lori spent her early years reading books in a tree in northern West Virginia. The 1980s and 90s found her and her husband moving around the Midwest, mainly because it was easier to move than clean the apartment. After seventeen frigid years in Minnesota, she fled to coastal North Carolina in 2013. She will never leave, and if you try to make her, she will hurt you.

She has worked in public libraries, written advertising copy for wastewater treatment equipment, and managed a holistic veterinary clinic. Her current day job, conducted from her World Headquarters and Petting Zoo (her couch) is as a full-time editor for indie authors and small publishing houses.

Her dogs are a big part of her life, and she has served or held offices in Golden Retriever and Great Pyrenees rescues, a humane society, a county kennel club, and her own chapter of Therapy Dogs International.

She has been a columnist and feature writer for auto racing and pet publications, and won the Dog Writers Association of America’s Maxwell Award for a series of humor essays.

Parents of a grown son, Lori and her husband were high school sweethearts, and he manages to love her in spite of herself. Some of his duties include making sure she always has fresh coffee and safe tires, trying to teach her to use coupons, and convincing the state police to spring her from house arrest in her hotel room in time for a very important concert. That last one only happened once—so far—but she still really, really appreciates it.

Where can you find her and follow her? I’m so glad you asked!

Lori Whitwam Official Author Website: http://www.loriwhitwam.com

Lori Whitwam, Author, on Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/loriauthor

Lori Whitwam on Amazon Author Central: https://www.amazon.com/author/loriwhitwam

Lori Whitwam on Twitter: https://twitter.com/ripleygold

Lori Whitwam on Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/4696047.Lori_Whitwam

What Do You Call A Guy Who Watches Your Every Move?

And apparently, if you’re Santa, you’re immune because it’s part of the job description… How else would he know if you’ve been naughty or nice, or if you’ve moved, or even what your heart desires?

Here’s a classic version of a universal favorite, sung by a classic. I adore Eartha Kitt.

Classic Long Haired Holiday Hero

When I was younger I had the biggest crush on Jon Bon Jovi. Something about those warm eyes, bad boy grin, and soulful voice spoke to me. So, of course, when he’s asking me to “please come home for Christmas” (because I refuse to believe he could possibly be singing to Cindy Crawford), I simply wanted to make it happen.

To this day I have a soft spot for guys with long hairs, twinkling eyes, bad boy grins, and tattoos. What did you have a weak spot for when you were younger? Does it still hold any power over you?

Thankful that Variety is the Spice of Life + #Giveaway

Thanksgiving is one of my most favorite holidays. It’s one of the rare times that occurs throughout a year where people stop, reflect, and give thanks for some of the blessings in my life. Sometimes those gratitude moments are a little easier to overlook because of the negative surrounding them.

Today, I’m going to give thanks for 5 things…. Some may be near misses, some are “could be worse” moments, and some are just pure joy….and then I’m going to give something away.

I’m Thankful For….

#5. My first ever car accident was one where damages were minor and no one was hurt.
#4. That when our car broke down on the side of the interstate the other day in the middle of morning rush hour (the engine is toast), hubby had pulled off to the side of the road before the car died, more than likely saving us from a brutal car accident.
#3. That I pursued my dreams with the support of my friends and family, resulting in two published books so far, with a third in the works.
#2. For my new day job after my old one fell through, and the friend who kept an eye open and me in mind.
#1. For a family who loves me, even when I’m feeling unlovable, for kidneys that saved my cousins, and for the next generation of family members as they grow. May they always feel the love we’ve been fortunate enough to be surrounded with….through good times and bad.

And on to my giveaway (BTW, I’m not the only one giving stuff away, so make sure to click the link at the bottom of the page)….

I’m giving away a copy of my book, Four One Night. All you have to do for a chance to win is check out the excerpt I share and see if it’s something you might be interested in….. And answer the question following the excerpt! My rules, etc. will be posted following the excerpt as well.

Excerpt:

I nodded my head, an idea taking hold in my mind. “You know, I decided I needed to blow off some steam about three hours ago. You’re coming with me. You need it even more than I do. We’ll call it medicinal.”

“That sounds exactly like the kind of distraction I need,” she said, a smile flitting across her face.

“Good. Because it’s too freaking cold to be standing around. My nipples are pointing all over the place for all the wrong reasons!” We hustled to my car, heels clicking a rapid staccato against the asphalt. “All this pent up energy has me in the mood to play. It’s time to call in reinforcements.”

“Ooh!” She looked at me over the hood, her baby blues full of mischief. “That means Michael’s coming. Think he can handle both of us?”

“We’re about to find out! If not, there’s always you and me.” I laughed and yanked my phone out of my purse pocket.

“Danielle Monroe! You are such a tease.” She tossed her dark gold curls over her shoulder.

“Am I? You’ve never seen my bad girl side.” My eyebrow raised, daring her to take me up on the offer.

“Now that sounds promising.” She said, batting her eyes in the worst parody of exaggerated flirtation I’d seen in a while.

Shaking my head and smiling at our antics, I dialed Michael. With the receiver to my ear, the muted strains of “My Cherie Amour” floated through instead of a ring. The frigid air whipped through the thin cotton of my shirt causing a shudder to ripple through my curvy frame. I grabbed for my key fob and quickly pressed the unlock button.

“Hey babe,” his dark, raspy voice came on the line. “What’s up?”                                       

“Well, that all depends on you,” I purred as my hands motioned Candace to get in the car. “Work was nuts and Candace and I need to blow off some steam. We’re headed over to Club Heat for ladies night. Will you join us or do we need to find some other sexy men to play with?”

“Ooh, someone’s feeling feisty.” I could practically see his smile through the rumble in his voice. “I love it when Miss Dani comes out to play.”

“Then you’re gonna love me tonight.” Grabbing the handle, I tugged my door open. Finally out of the chilled air and in the driver’s seat, I slammed the door shut and shoved my key in the ignition.

“Two wild women looking to unleash themselves after a bad day?” The little beep of his car alarm being released sounded through the receiver followed by the slam of the door. “That may be more than I can handle alone.”

Tipping my head against my shoulder to cradle the phone, I turned the key in the ignition, quickly followed by the heater. “Michael Gallo! Afraid you might need reinforcements?”

Music flared in the background as he started his car. “Afraid is such a strong word. I prefer to think of it as being prepared for any eventuality.”

“Well, you know how I feel. The more, the merrier. Hot men and alcohol make everything better!” With one last look in my rear view mirror, I shifted into drive, leaving our bad day in the dust.

For a chance to win a free ebook copy from Amazon, all you need to do is share one thing you’re thankful for or one thing about the Christmas holiday you’re looking forward to. You have until 11:59pm EST on December 5th to qualify. The winner will be chosen via Random.org!

Also a HUGE thanks to Natasha Blackthorne for hostessing the festivities. If you haven’t met her yet…. check her out via the link posted below, or stalk her at her following hang outs…

Blog: http://natashablackthorne.blogspot.com
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/natasha.blackthorne
Twitter: https://twitter.com/#!/NBlackthorne

@LissaMatthews is Shifting Currents!

My friend, Lissa Matthews, has a new cover reveal and I have the honor of sharing it with you guys! As many of you know, I’ve loved Lissa and her work for ages. I’ve shared a book review a while back, and more recently I’ve shared one of her racy (both literally and figuratively) re-releases!

She was one of the first authors to befriend me and to inspire me and cheer me on as I spread my creative wings. We’ve laughed about our shared passion for food, coffee, and hot men. In other words, she’s one of the most real and awesome authors to interact with (so if you’re not following her yet, you really should). She’s also one of the first erotic kink romance authors I’ve ever read!

So without further ado, here’s a bit about her newest cover and upcoming, fabulous release!

Blurb:

Blake doesn’t want a mate. No way. No how. And he certainly doesn’t want her camping on his land, floating down his stretch of river, or looking like she belongs in his bed.

But that’s exactly what he gets when he happens upon a curvy woman with shades of sunset hair named Leah.

She’s on vacation and isn’t looking for any complications, especially in the form of a shifter or the possessive MINE signal he gives off.

So, what are two bears to do when they’ve convinced themselves they don’t want, much less need anyone else?  They give in to the pull and mate, of course, but in sex only. No life commitment. No cubs. No changing the way they live: Separate and independent of each other.

Except when she leaves his mountain, Blake can’t get her off his mind and Leah can’t stop craving his particular brand of heat and gruff love making. Now, the one thing neither wanted, has come full circle, and is ready to bite them both.

A shifter romance from Lissa? Yes, please!

Playtime: What Goes in the Box…

Many moons ago I bought my first vibrator. It was exciting. It was taboo. It was hidden in a brown bag so no one would know what I’d purchased. After a quick trip to the store to pick up some batteries (let’s be real, first timer…didn’t want to run out and didn’t know what to expect) I rushed home, excited to play.

Alone in my room, I freed the teal gel cylinder from the wrapping, washed it, and slid the batteries the hard plastic handle piece. I toyed with the various settings against my hand to get a feel for how it operated, then disrobed and moved to the bed.

This was going to be awesome, right? So much easier and fun than my own fingers?

Not exactly.

It wasn’t so much the going in. Lubrication (both self and purchased) helped with that. It was more the uncomfortable, burning feeling.  And the feeling like the only way to rid myself of that uncomfortable burn was to pee.

I knew that the lady at the pleasure party said that they were considered “novelty” items, but it was explained that this had more to do with the rules of other countries about exporting things that were used for sex. That’s why there were things like rabbit ears or hummingbirds or dolphins on the clitoral stimulator….or so I understood back then.

It never occurred to me that pleasure items were not held to any health or safety standard. That they could be toxic. In the end, I gave up on that particular toy figuring it must be an allergic reaction. Heck, I’ve been known to have a sensitivity to latex condoms, so I just chalked it up to that! And then I did a bit more research.

Did you know that many of the older toys were made with toxic products? That they were safer to be used in conjunction with a condom? Or that the type of lubricant you use can actually dry you out? In fact, check out the article I wrote for Sexual Wellness News on exactly this topic this week! It’s all about how to shop for great non-toxic toys. And if you have any doubts that not all lubes are created equal? Check out this blog post from my favorite lube company. It’s from a nurse’s perspective on why their stuff is head and shoulders above the rest.

Don’t get me wrong, this has NOT stopped me from enjoying pleasure enhancers. It’s just made me much more careful in my choices. Heck, ya’ll know I’ve always been pretty vocal about sharing what I like….and reading materials to help you get there.

What about you guys? Any sex toy nightmares to share? Any tips you’ve learned along the way? Caring is Sharing, afterall!