Kink– sex that deviates from the traditional (and potentially boring) missionary position. Okay, so it’s really more than that, but you get my gist.
Like a little ass slapping and hear pulling with your doggie style? There are those that would call that kink.
Like to take charge in the bedroom? Control the play? Make someone beg? Submit to your dark, carnal desires? Yeah, that’s kink, too.
Enjoy a partner in crime in your seduction? Prefer 3 or more people with your seductions?
Preoccupied with anal sex? Seduced by feet?
Heck, there are so many more kinks out there it’s easy to lose track. But one thing is for certain… in the fetish world, there’s an acceptance, understanding, and camaraderie. No judgments.
Which reminds me…. I have always had a thing for bondage, but I’m dying to try my hand at learning rope bondage. I think it’s sexy as hell. Time to start looking for someone to give me rigging lessons. 🙂
It’s actually through my love of kink that I made some of my coolest online friendships…that have blossomed into relationships that I cherish.
It was through our mutual love of kinky books (and sex) that I met the ultra fabulous, Ande Lyons. Thanks to shared interests and conversations, she invited me to guest on her Bring Back Desire site. Here’s one I wrote for her on Exploring Sensual Pleasure With Common Household Items. Through our shared interests, we’ve built a friendship for the ages.
Through blogging I discovered fellow blogger, author, and sexual empowerment advocate extraordinaire, August McLaughlin of Girl Boner. Her passion and desire to educate and help drew me in. Our mutual desire to empower and battle sexual shaming made us pretty much instant friends. One of my biggest thrills was guesting on her Girl Boner radio. If you haven’t checked her out yet, you don’t know what you’re missing! She’s sweet, smart, and savvy.
It was through a mutual friend who noted my love of the “kink and taboo” that I was introduced to one of my dear friends, the ever interesting and intellectual Professor Taboo. It took no time at all for me to become very intrigued with his blog posts. Due to our common ground and mutual love of dialogue, it was no time at all before we were very active in responding to one another’s posts. He’s one of those guys who calls it like he sees it, keeps it real, and lives his life unapologetically. The fact that we joke about what kind of clash for dominance would ever occur is just icing on the cake. 😉
Between Twitter, Facebook, blogging, and writing it was only a matter of time before Anna of Herding Cats and Burning Soup blog and I became friendly. In fact, despite the fact that we had connected through social media, it wasn’t until a mutual friend told me about her shared Facebook group, The Kinkery, that we really interacted with any sense of frequency. She’s a woman with a reading fetish for pierced cock, great dialogue, and sexy book covers. And then there’s the fact that she’s pretty no holds barred about what she’ll welcome on her blog. Is it any wonder I think she rocks? By the way, she’s also the one who talked me into this A-Z challenge.
Yep! There’s a distinct kinship that is created when mutually open minded and adventurous people come together. What things have you found bond you together with fellow bloggers or internet friends? What kinks do you enjoy? Is there something your dying to learn more about? Share! Who knows? I may even be able to help point you in the right direction…
Empowerment. It’s such a powerful word, right? In any aspect of life, it’s an important part of personal growth. When it comes to women and their sexuality, it’s critical and all too often denied or ignored.
Some may remember my Sacred Sexuality contribution from last year where I explored my thoughts on religion, history, and their impact on body image and sex. This year I’ll be taking it a step further and exploring owning our growth and development, sexually speaking.
Historically speaking the world, especially in western civilization, we’ve been predominantly a patriarchal society. What that has meant is that men pretty much controlled power, purse strings, and the overall quality of life that women could expect to have.
For the most part, we’ve come a long way from being traded as chattel to better enhance familial, social, and political standing. Virginity is not really currency anymore. Well, okay. There are still some places in the world where these archaic views are upheld, but overall…. you get what I’m saying. We’ve moved forward.
But have we really moved that far?
It wasn’t very long ago when I was involved in a conversation with several female friends when one friend confessed that she had never achieved orgasm. Because she was in a long term relationship, most of the women there were quick to blame her guy for not “giving” her one. But was it really his fault? I’m not saying selfish lovers don’t exist, but to have never had an orgasm before speaks to more than a lover’s prowess, doesn’t it?
Here’s my take on feminine sexual empowerment….
It’s all about ownership. Of herself. Her body. Her wants and needs. Does it mean she has to be the aggressor? Only if she wants to be. But it does mean that she’s responsible to communicate. To explore her own body and discover what feels good.
Because here’s the reality. Despite the über Doms and alpha males we read or fantasize about… You know, the psychic ones who instinctively read a woman’s mind, body, and soul and know exactly what to do to give her thigh shaking, body quaking orgasms… Most real life men require guidance. Hints. Directions. And if she doesn’t know what feels good? Or she’s unwilling or unable to communicate with them when they touch her body in ways that curls her toes (or even in ways that might turn her off), how can they ever hope to make her body sing? Or improve what skills they may already have in giving her pleasure?
Honest communication is key. So is taking responsibility for her actions. Faking an orgasm? That deprives her partner of the chance to find out what really pleases her, and her from exploring what works for them both. Saying the words candidly may be difficult at first, but the rewards far outweigh the negatives.
It all starts with trust…. And responsibility.
Because we women have gotten really good at not only holding men accountable for whether or not we experience orgasms, but more often than not, we’ve also placed the onus of making sure we’re protected on them, too. Granted, many are a little bit responsible via birth control pills and patches, but with the many variations of STDs these days that are transmitted through fluids, condoms are also necessary, especially for one time liaisons or short termed relationship.
So why is it that prophylactics often are predominantly a male responsibility? Why is it, if sex is initiated, it’s assumed that the male should come prepared? And how often do we really have the responsible health history talk before we head in that direction despite all the things we learned in health class?
Kudos to Tiffany Gaines and the young ladies from Lovability, Inc. for not only noticing the problem, but deciding to be proactive and do something about it! That’s responsible, empowered sexuality! Check out not only how they’ve owned their sexual responsibility, but how they’re working to help other women do the same!
So what about you? What things do you do to help you own your sexual empowerment? Do you struggle with it? Why do you think you do (or don’t)? Communication is key and I’d love it if you’d share your thoughts, and please check out the other Beauty of a Woman 2015 posts of female empowerment! I promise, you won’t regret it.
My dear friend, August McLaughlin, tagged me in her quest to turn Black Friday into Sparkle Friday. As one who has been working retail for about fifteen years, I understood all too well the stress that happens during this time of year.
This year has been a bit of a challenge as I found myself laid off unexpectedly. Fortunately someone else shared her Sparkle, and I found a new opportunity very quickly! In fact, if you’ve noticed a bit of media silence from me, it’s because I’m currently in training.
My first day on the new job, I had my first opportunity to Sparkle for someone else! One of my new co-workers was in need of a ride home. When I discovered she lived nearby, I offered her a ride home. No, it wasn’t anything fancy, but it was something.
Then there was the call from one of my besties at the end of last week. I was at work, but stepped away to answer her call. She’d just had her first child a few days ago, afterall.
Turned out she wanted to know when my shift ended & if I could stop by her house on the way home to take her to the ER. She was experiencing shortness of breath. She seemed to think it was non-urgent, but I knew there was a good chance it was more serious. I still had a couple hours, so I called my hubby who should’ve been on the way home. My hubby picked her up and took her in while her man stayed at home with the baby, keeping her safe from the germs of ER.
I met them as soon as I got off work & we kept her company until it was time to go, then took her home. We were all relieved it turned out to be a false alarm….nothing serious.
These were smallish gestures, but it meant something to them… Sometimes the family you build through mutual respect, love and friendship is just as rewarding (maybe even more so) is just as important to you as the one you’re born into…
So share with us…. Have you done something kind for someone else to bring on your Sparkle? If so, what? I’d love to read about it!
As many of you know by now, sex positive discussions is intensely important to me. So many people have their sexual growth and understanding inhibited due to upbringing, religion, and worse, traumatic sexual experiences. Being closed away from one’s sexuality due to whatever reason stifles and inhibits personal, emotional growth and well being and can destroy otherwise healthy personal relationships.
Recently, when I discovered my pal, Jessi Gage, had launched her first ever holiday book, I reached out and asked if I could help her pimp it. I was thrilled when she mentioned that there was a sensitive topic of a sexual nature she’d wanted to address and thought my blog would be the perfect forum. When she gave me the specifics, I was honored. This subject is near and dear to so many hearts. (Don’t believe me? Check out my other pal, Bridget Blackwood’s post.)
Take it away, Jessi! (And please, guys, as always….share your stories, thoughts, and/or experiences because we’d love to hear from you!)
Thank you, Kitt, for hosting me today. I’m a huge fan of you as a person and as a blogger. You are one of my favorite advocates for women’s sexuality. Your voice and the voices of August McLaughlin and Ande Lyons are desperately needed and greatly appreciated by many.
I thought your blog would be a good place to confess my insecurity over a recent first for me. I’ve got a new release out, Cole in My Stocking. It’s my first holiday romance, and it’s the first time I’ve tackled sexual assault in a book. I’m not going to lie, I was nervous about this.
In a romance, you want conflict and tension, yes, but you don’t want to disturb the readers, at least I don’t. That’s not my thing as a writer. I like to leave readers with a serious case of the warm-fuzzies. If people put down my book with a happy sigh, that’s my idea of success. So I wasn’t sure how to handle it when my heroine, Mandy, insisted she had survived a very traumatic situation in her past, a situation in which all her control was taken away: a sexual assault.
Fortunately, Mandy assured me her trauma was well past. It doesn’t appear on the pages of Cole in My Stocking other than as brief flashes of memory that still haunt her. But Mandy needed to spend time in this book working through issues that resulted from her assault. And Cole needed to be the man to help her do it.
See, Mandy has not been able to have a physical relationship with anyone since her assault. She has PTSD. As a counselor, she knows this about herself, but clinical knowledge doesn’t necessarily translate into being able to overcome the emotional scars of her past.
Fortunately for Mandy, Cole is up to the challenge of helping her tackle her physical and psychological issues. He does it by loving her, showing her he is trustworthy, and most of all, through his unwavering patience with her physical limitations.
To get this dynamic right (I hope I got it right!), I consulted my beautiful and generous sister-in-law, Kate, who has a counseling degree and has a heart for helping people. She helped me shape Mandy’s memories and reactions and encouraged me not to hold back when naming the horror that happened to her: rape.
Mandy’s story has a happy ending—of course, since I will never write anything that doesn’t end happily. But it might be a painful read for a woman who has experienced anything like what Mandy experienced. Then again, it might be helpful. Early reviews are indicating that Mandy’s journey is touching and realistic.
Learning about what sweet Mandy has been through was tough. It was emotional, and for anyone that has been in a situation where their control, their power, their self worth has been stripped from them…just know that this book can be extremely difficult to read. Mandy’s reactions to what happened and how she handles intimacy after were very realistic. I’m not sure what Jessi Gage did to write this type of story in such a believable manner, but what I can say is that I appreciate the way she wrote this story. It means a lot to me that she managed to write a sweet love story (which I will talk about in a bit) while fitting in details that may help people who have never dealt with assault understand. I felt that it was written in a way that shed light on the way victims of assault think. The way they deal with what others see as a simple situation.
Reviews like this certainly help me feel less nervous about Mandy’s story. I’m so glad I wrote it and I hope lots of people find some holiday hope and cheer in it. I want to leave you with some words from Kate and some resources on sexual assault. Here’s Kate:
Sexual assault is an almost scientific term for a vomit-inducing nightmare. Alas, we are forced to contend with the term, so let’s be clear on its definition. According to the Justice Department’s website, sexual assault is defined as “any type of sexual contact or behavior that occurs without the explicit consent of the recipient… forced sexual intercourse, forcible sodomy, child molestation, incest, fondling, and attempted rape.”
50% of victims are raped by their intimate partner.
There are a ton of implications in these stats, but I’ll highlight just a couple. What strikes me most about these stats is that rape is so common. We encounter women who have survived sexual assault every day. Eighteen percent of US women have gone through this. You are friends with rape victims. You are family of rape victims. Let that sink in for a minute.
Next, most rape is being done by guys we know. That is actually a pretty scary statistic. Think about it. Women are more likely to get raped by a man they know than by that ominous lurking predator in black, looming in the dark behind that bush. And to top it off, rapes are underreported. In other words, the bad guy is getting off way more often than not.
Sexual assault clearly affects our culture and us personally more than we realize, because it is happening all the time. I encourage you to ask questions and have conversations. Educate yourself on why and how sexual assault is so prevalent in our society. (I’ll give you a hint: It’s not because men are uncontrollable animals.)
Mandy never planned to return to Newburgh, New Hampshire, the hometown that unfairly branded her a slut, but she has no choice. Her father has died, and she’ll be spending Christmas settling his affairs. She hopes to get in and out of town without attracting the looks of disgust that drove her away, but when a certain Oakley-wearing, Harley-riding cop starts hanging around, an old crush is revived and the rumor mill restarts with a vengeance.
Cole has always been attracted to Mandy, but he has never acted on it. Besides being sixteen years older than her, he was friends with her father. The rumors people in town spread about her were bad enough without an inappropriate relationship adding fuel to the fire. But when Mandy returns to Newburgh fully adult and looking more gorgeous than ever, he can’t keep his distance, especially when an old secret of her father’s surfaces and puts her in danger. He’ll stop at nothing to protect her, but convincing her to stay in Newburgh, with him, will take a Christmas miracle.
Reader Advisory: Contains references to a past sexual assault
He cupped her chin and made her look at him, even if they couldn’t see each other in the dark. “What did he do after?”
“What do you mean?”
“When you freaked out. What did your boyfriend do after that?”
Tension straightened her shoulders. “What any decent guy would do. We stopped. He stopped. He was a perfect gentleman.”
He scoffed.
“What? He was. I was a total spaz and he was cool about it.”
“He was cool about it?”
“What? What’s that superior tone for?” She was getting angry. He loved that about her. She’d stood up to Tooley a few days ago. She was standing up to him now. If she didn’t like something, she let you know about it. Now that was a characteristic he could believe she’d gotten from Gripper.
“You said you freaked like always when things get to a certain point, that you always blow it. You think you blew it with that guy because a single attempt at second base went poorly. I meant what happened afterwards? Was there a conversation? A second attempt after you had some time to process what happened? A third?”
“What guy would want to try again after something like that?”
“This guy would.”
Jessi Gage
Jessi Gage bio: Jessi lives with her husband and children in the Seattle area. She’s a passionate reader of all genres of romance, especially anything involving the paranormal. Ghosts, demons, vampires, witches, weres, faeries…you name it, she’ll read it. As for writing, she’s sticking to Highlanders and contemporaries with a paranormal twist (for now). The last time she imagined a world without romance novels, her husband found her crouched in the corner, rocking.
As many of you know, a great passion of mine is helping to spread a sex positive message and to aid in building people and their self esteems up. So when I stumbled across August McLaughlin’s blog about two years ago, an instant connection happened. And when she decided to introduce #GirlBoner, I was cheering loud and hard.
August has quite the compelling personal story, and she’s touched my heart. As we became friends, it was clear that she is someone to be admired and respected because she is a woman of both word and action. She celebrates life in general, and her fellow womankind in particular, by hosting such events as Beauty of a Woman (which I was honored to participate in this last year). But she doesn’t stop there. She’s got her own GirlBoner Radio show. If you haven’t tuned in and listened to her shows, you’re missing out. And as if that’s not enough, she was also one of BlogHer 2014’s Voices of the Year.
Yes…. August is one beautiful, busy woman….and tomorrow she’ll be a panelist and Emcee for World Sexual Health Day. What a well deserved honor for her, and what a fabulous cause! The really cool part is that we can participate online because the event will be streaming live! And if you want to be part of it via Facebook or Twitter, you can do that, too!
On top of all this, she’s an author and she sings! In fact, we’ve decided that the first time we meet face to face, we’ll be singing together, so we’re thinking karaoke party…. Who’s in and what songs are a must sing at a karaoke party to you?
And on a more serious note, how will you be celebrating your sexual health this September 4th?
Have you ever wondered what your friends think of you? Well, yesterday gave me a dose of hilarity while answering what my pal, Jenny Hansen (of the More Cowbell fame) thinks of me…or at least where she thinks my mind is most of the time. She tagged me on Facebook with the following image and this message:
“Kitt, I just laughed my butt off. I ran a search for you to catch up on your posts and here was the result. I about fell off my chair. LOL.”
Courtesy of Jenny Hansen
I admit it. I giggle snorted immediately…because the first thing that drew my eye was what drew hers.
What can I say? Sex comes up a lot when I’m around. But only in the best possible way. As you’ve probably noticed by the post titles, there’s also not much I won’t talk about.
Which actually leads right into the whole condoms and kinks portion.
As a few of you might remember from my piercings post, I am in a private facebook group where the members love to read and talk kink of all sorts. There are no judgments, you can ask questions, you can talk fetishes…and share the hottest, sexiest reads you’ve discovered with likeminded individuals.
My pal, Anna, from Herding Cats and Burning Soup threw out a question to the group a week or two ago surrounding fetishes. She asked the group what specific fetishes they loved to read about. Not authors. Kinks. Mine were easy…and not much of a shock to those who’ve read my books because a lot of it is also what I enjoy writing. I LOVE M/M/F ménages, especially if there’s some bisexual play between the guys. I also love D/s power exchanges (and I’m not gender specific on who wields the whip). I’m also hugely intrigued by rope bondage, specifically shibari, and think I’d like to take a class to learn how. Heck, Fet-con in Tampa is only a hop-skip-and-a-jump away. Maybe I should sign up.
Anyway, as often happens with this group, things devolve into hilarity…and this time it was all about a condom. As some of you know, bare backing can be considered a kink if/when you’re involved in what folks may consider a “risky” lifestyle. (For those of you wondering, bare backing is another word for unprotected sex.) Anna pointed out that in these books the heroes are usually quite big players at the beginnings of these books until they meet their “soul mates.” So, for her, condoms are a must. Then she went on to lament that although most of her favorite authors use condoms in their stories, she’d love a little variety…like glow in the dark. When she said that, my brain responded with “challenge accepted.”
This, of course, got me thinking. Sex and fantasies. What type of fantasies get you hot under the collar? Are you a ménage person, like me? Does the idea of exhibitionism get your furnace fired up? Or maybe it’s roleplay games. You know. The naughty college student caught cheating on the test by teacher. Or the been caught speeding one where you have to talk the big, bad officer out of writing you that ticket so your license doesn’t get suspended. Yeah… there are all sorts of options.
And as for that condom challenge? Yeah…. I’ve promised her Glow-in-the-dark in NEON GREEN, of course! But ya’ll know me. I like to push the envelope. I fully anticipate a sort of Lightsaber theme and “crossed swords.” Anyone have any color recommendations? LOL!
Also, I’ve got to send a huge THANK YOU to my incredible pal, August McLaughlin. She introduced me to the folks at Sexual Wellness News, and they’ve hired me to write the occasional article for them! My first one was just posted at the end of last month and it’s all about How to Rev Up Your Sex Life! Please go over there, check it out, along with the other awesome articles (August is one of their contributors), and share the love!
Ya’ll know there’s not much I love more than an opportunity to talk sexy. In fact, it was this exact penchant that helped cement a friendship between myself and the creator of #GirlBoner, August McLaughlin. We’ve been going back and forth between our blogs, Facebook and Twitter for so long now that she feels more like an old friend than a stranger whose voice I’ve only heard in YouTube videos and podcasts.
So, of course, when she contacted me about my blog post celebrating the Beauty of a Woman’s Sexuality (for her third annual BlogFest) from a Christian standpoint, and asked me to share it and chat with her on her radio show, I was over the moon! Me? On GirlBoner radio? Actually talking to August live? Practically in person? Of course! That was yesterday.
So, for those of you who’d like to take a listen….maybe hear what I really sound like, or what it’s like when two totally Sex Positive women get together and chat…
All I can say is that it was an honor to talk to my dear friend.
Also, if you haven’t gotten a chance to visit Fangs, Wands, and Fairy Dust….stop on over. Stephanie is an awesome book blogger/supporter of authors…and there are still a few days left for you to participate in a chance to win a copy of my most recent book….
Have you checked out August McLaughlin’s radio show yet? If not, go do it! I promise, you will not be disappointed. Also, if you listened to my interview, I’d love to hear what ya’ll thought!
I’m fortunate to be surrounded both in real life and online by an amazing group of friends. We laugh together, support one another, and cheer each other on. In fact, my awesome buddy, Ande Lyons, of Bring Back Desire, was kind enough make me this!
This was the quote August McLaughlin featured on her blog, announcing the winners from her Beauty of a Woman (Girl Boner edition) Blogfest! What’s even cooler? I’m one of those winners! I will be reading my post, then hanging out for a little bit to chat on the one and only GirlBoner radio! Yes, I’ll share more when the time comes, but guys…seriously. If you haven’t checked her show out yet, you need to do it NOW! You won’t regret it, I promise!
As if this isn’t already an abundance of friendship and support, there’s more! My dear friend, Stephanie, invited me to do a guest post and GIVEAWAY on her blog!
We actually met at Authors After Dark in Savannah (Steph, how did we not wind up taking a pic together then???). We sat together during the Vampire Ball and we started chatting. Afterward, we became friends on Facebook and Twitter and I followed her blog, so when she found out she’d be headed to my neck of the woods for a little while she reached out and asked if I’d like to meet her for coffee or wine.
COFFEE? WINE? I was IN! Well, truthfully, it was Steph, so she could’ve mentioned a walk on the beach and I’d have still been good to go. She’s pretty awesome.
She’d welcomed me to write a guest post for her blog, which thrilled me to death. I love her blog! But I wanted to do something special. Something unique for my friend. So, since my tastes vary and I’ll write whatever comes to mind anyway, I asked her if there was something specific she would like me to cover. The task she gave me proved to be not only fun, but right up my alley!
Stop by, show her some love (and me some support)…because, like I said….she’s awesome and I’m giving something away! Plus, we’re talking BDSM terms, fantasies and Four One Night!
And because it wouldn’t be The Sweetest Thing without a clip from one of my favorite movies of the same title…(And it’s a shout out to my favorite “kinkery” book club and their love of cock rings)…here’s a little something/something.
And my shout out to all my gal pals and our crazy ass sense of humor? (Because my BFF and I would totally do something like this.)
Yes, ladies and gentlemen, despite hubby’s accident yesterday (he was unharmed), it’s been a great week for me. Are you celebrating anything you want to share with the class? 😉
Many of my friends are sharing their thoughts on the Beauty of a Woman this week, thanks to August McLaughlin and her Third Annual Beauty Of A Woman Blogfest, and it’s been a wonderful adventure to read. The first part, celebrating feminine sexuality, started on Monday.
Click HERE to check out the #GirlBoner (feminine sexuality) edition participants
The second part, celebrating the overall beauty of a woman, starts today…
Click HERE to check out the many fantastic posts.
There are prizes for participating via visiting, liking, and commenting the various blogs who are sharing, by the way, so really, check them out. You won’t be sorry.
“The Weaker Sex”
is what we’re called.
Generations
of velvet encased
iron core,
who have held
and nurtured
in body and heart-
souls,
Sons who become fathers,
Daughters to
mothers.
We’ve stood firm,
guardians of the castle
charged with
sacred duty
to mold,
guide and nurture,
teach and love.
Dry tears,
kiss away wounds
spiritual and physical.
Healing powers-
steeped in
understanding,
forgiveness and patience.
We hold on if we can,
let go when we must.
Kindness, empathy
and knowledge.
When I was a little girl my mom told me two things that always stuck with me.
“Your body is a temple and should be honored as sacred to you and by those around you.”
AND
“You were created in God’s image. You are perfect to him.”
It wasn’t until much later that I realized the gift she’d given me by approaching sex clinically, and body talk spiritually. Because this was a frequent theme in my house growing up, I didn’t have many body issues. In fact, the closest I came was not exactly loving my toes. I assumed that my body was pretty close to perfect because my mom said I was designed in His image. How could I be anything else? Then puberty hit. I heard friends talking about themselves. In their eyes they were ugly and fat and in need of dieting. Whoa! They looked perfectly beautiful to me…and THAT’s when I realized that the lenses through which they saw their bodies must have been distorted. No one had ever told them how amazing their design was.
Even more important was the shame people seemed to feel about their ‘temples’ and the natural instincts that came with this gift. For me it all felt contradictory. Why on earth would a God…who designed us in His image give women a clitoris, a part of the anatomy strictly designed for pleasure and no other purpose, if he didn’t want us to enjoy the finer pleasures in life? How could touching it be considered sinful? Yet how many people are ashamed to admit or have actually NEVER TRIED masturbation because they believe it somehow goes against God? How? Why would he create it and put it on our persons if not for us to share in the joy of his creation?
Some of the first known (and most beautiful) erotica came from the Bible! Don’t believe me? Here’s a verse from Song of Solomon 7:1-13
How beautiful your sandaled feet, O prince’s daughter!
Your graceful legs are like jewels,
the work of an artist’s hands. 2 Your navel is a rounded goblet
that never lacks blended wine.
Your waist is a mound of wheat
encircled by lilies. 3 Your breasts are like two fawns,
like twin fawns of a gazelle. 4 Your neck is like an ivory tower.
Your eyes are the pools of Heshbon
by the gate of Bath Rabbim.
Your nose is like the tower of Lebanon
looking toward Damascus. 5 Your head crowns you like Mount Carmel.
Your hair is like royal tapestry;
the king is held captive by its tresses. 6 How beautiful you are and how pleasing,
my love, with your delights! 7 Your stature is like that of the palm,
and your breasts like clusters of fruit. 8 I said, “I will climb the palm tree;
I will take hold of its fruit.”
May your breasts be like clusters of grapes on the vine,
the fragrance of your breath like apples, 9 and your mouth like the best wine.
She
May the wine go straight to my beloved,
flowing gently over lips and teeth. 10 I belong to my beloved,
and his desire is for me. 11 Come, my beloved, let us go to the countryside,
let us spend the night in the villages. 12 Let us go early to the vineyards
to see if the vines have budded, if their blossoms have opened,
and if the pomegranates are in bloom—
there I will give you my love. 13 The mandrakes send out their fragrance,
and at our door is every delicacy, both new and old,
that I have stored up for you, my beloved.
Pure sensual seduction and admiration of lovers. And it’s beautiful, not ugly! It’s a celebration and appreciation of the gifts given them, the differences of form…and how they were meant to fit together. Pleasure and passion shared is to be a joy, not dirty. Not something that happens only strictly for procreation.
We made it dirty. Historically speaking, let’s look back. Biblically speaking, David had at least 8 known wives and 10 concubines documented between 1 & 2 Samuel. Solomon? Something like 700 wives and 300 concubines. And these guys were considered loved by God.
Perception of what was appropriate and acceptable in marital and sexual practices actually changed with Roman rule, thanks to their strongly patriarchal society. It was changed because the ruling culture required we find a way to fit in. This meant that power and land were passed down through the male line and it was important to keep these lineages “clean” and clear of doubt. Women had no real say in how things were run. They were merely property used to strengthen the family line for rulership and wealth, so their chastity was guarded carefully.
If you’re anything like me, you’re already drawing lines of why finding pleasure in sex/mating began to be discouraged…and why sex became a “duty” rather than a joy. Can you imagine what would happen if a teenage girl discovered self pleasure during this time? Why on earth would she wait to be married off to some man she probably didn’t know, much less love (and probably a zillion years older than her) if she knew the joys she could explore with someone she found visually pleasing? It wasn’t an accident that the two most powerful entities were Royalty and the Church and that their ties were strongly intertwined. Care to guess what those sermons sounded like for women? I’ll leave it to your imagination.
But as often happens with universal truths, the pleasures of the flesh began to be acceptable to explore again. Unfortunately, the church (who’d been thriving on threats of death by fire and brimstone for sinners) felt that this new, modern way of thinking took away from their power….and Puritans with even stronger rules against sexuality pushed their propaganda on the world….conveniently leaving out all the beauty and joy that should be experienced with lovemaking.
So why are we, in the new millennium, still letting archaic views dictate our thoughts, feelings and responses to sex? Isn’t it time we changed all that? Our bodies are temples. They’re meant to be worshipped, not left to decay and grow cobwebs from lack of use. If someone makes you feel less than beautiful when the clothes come off, kick him or her to the curb. They obviously don’t recognize that you’ve been created in God’s image and are beautiful.
Remember there’s nothing wrong with loving yourself or loving yourself. Getting in touch with your body is one of the greatest gifts you can give to yourself and your partner(s). Learn how you like to be touched and pleasured. Teaching your partner(s) how to increase your enjoyment of lovemaking only strengthens the intimacy between you. When couples treat themselves and each other with great appreciation and their fantasies as gifts to be appreciated and explored, lines of communication are strengthened. The need to look outside the relationship for fulfillment is lessened. In fact, I’d hazard that if any venturing is done that includes outside parties, both partners are actively involved in the decision making process.
At the end of the day, nothing is more worshipful than celebrating each other. Afterall, you’re gifts of God to one another, designed in His image. Sex? That’s a gift, too. He didn’t have to design lovemaking to be pleasurable, but he did! Do you really believe he’d do that if it were an act solely to be saved for procreation? I don’t think so. Why deny yourselves the joy of your Sacred Sexualities by placing it on the altar of societal bullying and fear? Our (as August McLaughlin would say) Girlboners deserve better.
What are your thoughts on this subject? Have you been made to feel ashamed of your body? Your sexuality? If so, have you overcome those feelings? How? If not, how can we help you? Afterall, we’re all on this big, beautiful world together. Maybe it will help you to see how other people celebrate The Beauty of a Woman, #Girlboner style. Click here to read more on why we should love our bodies and sexuality.
So, I've been spanked, hard! I have spanked myself hard, I have spanked others even harder! I'm now heading for a different road, one that still includes all the best bits of me, all the naughty bits, all the hot steamy bits, and plenty of spanking still to be had! But this time I'm creating characters to play out my delightful erotic fantasies, I hope you enjoy the new ride as much as the previous one...
theinnerwildkat 