I love music. For those of you who’ve been following my blog for a while, this isn’t exactly a shocker. Music often finds the words we, as everyday people, often can’t. But there are times… Moments… Of course, one of the biggest moments when we find we don’t have words are when talking about love.
We’ve all had those moments where we’ve fallen for someone who was already involved, right? Well, two seriously catchy songs came out nearly at the same time, talking about this phenomenon and how they handled it. One of them I loved. The other one? Well… Let me share the songs and see what you think.
Fun, right?
Here’s the second song.
So the general overarching story is the same… But how each song handled it, to me, was vastly different.
The first song, while catchy, bothered me. To me, it felt a bit disrespectful of the woman, her relationship, and lacking completely in boundaries. Don’t get me wrong. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with telling someone how you feel about then. At. All. My issue comes when you go past telling the object of your affections about how you feel and disrespect her relationship, try to cajole and manipulate her into ending things. You also assume she feels the same way, and you don’t even have the guts to call her without a little liquid courage…which means she probably should take absolutely nothing you say seriously.
The other one? He notices things about the girl. He respects their friendship. He tells her all the awesome things he admires about her. He worries she’s not being treated right…and then he lays his heart on the line and basically says that if he’s stupid enough to let you go, he’ll be there waiting and hoping for his chance.
Is it just me? Am I overreacting or overthinking? Because I know I’ve always been turned off by people who’ve had no respect for my choices and my relationships, but I’ve been honored and flattered by people who’ve just wanted to express their admiration and caring. To me, there’s a huge difference.
What are your thoughts? Any songs hit you kind of funny recently? I’d love to hear about it.
Dang! It’s been a while since I’ve gotten a chance to blog and I’ve missed it!
If there’s one thing in the world I hate, it’s bullies and mean people.
This is a big world. And it’s hard. There is NO reason or excuse for being nasty or hurtful.
Having said that, I just had to speak out when I saw all the crap going down in the romance world.
Imagine the arrogance it must take for a person to copyright an everyday word and claim it for “branding” purposes. Imagine said author using the apparent inability of her fans to distinguish her works over other authors because they use the same word in the title. Then imagine this same author choosing to go after other authors with the word in their titles and basically serving them with cease and desist orders and threatening litigation.
Seriously?
And if you are/were her fan, how are you not offended? I mean:
She basically called you stupid.
She’s saying you can’t read well enough to recognize her name.
She doesn’t think you’re capable of returning a book once you realize you’ve downloaded the wrong one.
All this, and you’re still willing to be her little monsters running around giving other people 1 star reviews because they have that word in their title or they have books whose characters share names with some of hers? Or if they’ve used the same stock photos in their book covers?
Seriously?
Put on your big girl panties and grow the eff up. You want to be big in this business? Do it by writing amazing books people can’t put down! Do it with class and respect for your peers. Don’t try to shut everyone else down in the hopes that you’ll be the only one left standing, and therefore “succeeding” by default. That’s just crappy.
And if you haven’t heard about this or you don’t know the word? Let Kid Rock educate you….
Yup!
In her ideal world, no one else is allowed to use “Cocky.”
Whew! She must be relieved Kid hadn’t already beat her to it, huh?
And you know what breaks my heart? Some hard working, classy authors have already changed their titles thanks to her strong arm tactics. Even though they have every right to the word.
This is one of those times when readers and writers need to band together to show that this behavior of hers is unacceptable. That trying to undermine other people’s careers and livelihoods is not ok and has not gone unnoticed. That these lesser known authors have our support!
Here’s a LINK to a petition to cancel the Cocky trademark.
If you want to better understand the situation and how utterly effed up it really is? Check out this very well done Article.
Biotch! You’ve gone too far.
You’re arrogant, not cocky.
Why?
Because, as Kid Rock says, “It ain’t braggin’, mother fucker, if you back it up.” And people who can back it up don’t need the down and dirty tricks that you pulled, chick.
What do you guys think? Let me know in the comments. I’m randomly picking 5 people to give whichever Cocky book listed on Ana’s page that you’d like. Again, all you have to do is share your thoughts….whatever they may be.
The story I’m about to tell is part fact, part fiction. Much is derived from my Grandfather’s story of his time in the military during WWII, but some is artistic embellishment. Some of you may recall from this post that my grandparents actually married as he was headed off to war. Parts of these are from actual stories he shared with us, but most of it is fiction.
Rock Island National Cemetery
“Hey dad! Where ya goin’?” Kevin raced to the black Cadillac. He turned to face his son, leaving the keys dangling in the door. “The party’s gonna start soon.”
Adam reached down and ruffled his son’s blond hair. “I’m going to visit with an old friend for a while. I’ll be back.”
“Can I come?” His carbon copy hopped from foot to foot with the unbridled energy only a ten year old possessed.
He stared out at the festively decorated street for a moment as he debated his answer. Was Kevin old enough to understand? To appreciate? He turned the key in the heavy metal door and yanked it open. With a shrug he decided there was no time like the present.
“Get in, kid.” With a sweep of his arm, he gestured for him to slide across the bench seats to the passenger side.
“Yes!” Kevin’s small fist punched the air in excitement.
Adam called out to his wife through the screened front walk up. “Elise, I’m taking Kev with me, okay?”
Her voice came through the front door. “See you boys soon. Don’t stay out too long. Company will be here soon and I’ll need your help on the grill.”
He reassured her quickly, got into the car, and backed out of the driveway. As they drove down the road, he half-heartedly listened to Kevin chatter about the parade, the cook out, and his excitement at nearing the end of the school year. The rest of him prayed he’d find the right words to share with his son.
As he turned the car into the drive, past the large stone walls and open wrought iron gate, he felt his son’s eyes go from the letters on the wall to his face. “Hey, dad.”
“Yes, son?” He glanced over at his son. For once, the boy was still, his blue eyes, solemn.
“That sign said Rock Island National Cemetery.” He paused, his small fingers pulling nervously at the edges of his denim shorts. “Are your friends meeting us here?”
He parked the car and motioned for his son to get out. “You could say that.”
Adam stepped from the vehicle and walked around to the passenger side where his son stood waiting. He slung an arm around the boy’s shoulder and guided the way down the familiar path. It was time.
“Kevin, do you remember when I told you that I used to be in the Navy?” He slowed his gait as they walked through the grassy areas and wove their way around tombstones.
His son nodded.
“Your mom and I had just gotten married when I was called away to war. You and your sisters weren’t even born yet.” He smiled down at his boy. “In fact, your mom found out she was pregnant with Katie while I was on a ship heading to Europe. Of course, I didn’t know that. All I knew was that Hitler was trying to take over the world and it was my turn to fight. It was my duty to help keep our world safe.”
He swallowed hard. “There were a lot of guys just like me on that ship. Young. Excited. Wanting to make a difference in the world. But we were also a little bit scared. I mean, it was war. People could die in war. Not that we really thought it could happen to us.”
He stopped in front of a tombstone, placed his hand gently against the white, worn marker and closed his eyes for a moment. “Hey Charlie, I brought some company today. This is my kid, Kevin. I wanted him to meet you.”
He watched as his son stepped forward and traced the name carved into the hard marble, blue eyes squinting with focus and curiosity. “Charlie was one of my first friends on our ship. When we found out we grew up a few miles apart, we became best buds. One day, we were put on duty to clean the hull of our ship. We were scraping away when my stomach began to bother me. Charlie sent me back up to go lie down until I felt better. He said he’d finish everything off. I’d just headed for my room when we came under fire. I ran as fast as I could to see what happened. A missile had hit our ship right where I’d been just minutes before. Charlie didn’t stand a chance. It could just as easily have been me.”
His son wrapped his arms around him, and he squeezed back, running a hand through his son’s blond hair. “Two times while I was at war I almost died. That was the first time. I guess God was sending me a message to let me know he wasn’t ready for me yet. But in the meantime, I come here every Memorial day to hang out with my friend. To make sure he’s remembered. To tell him thank you for saving my life, even though he had no idea at the time. I pay my respects, then come home to enjoy your mother’s parties and count each and every one of you as my blessings.”
Kevin took a deep breath; the long ago conversation with his dad feeling like yesterday, rather than 40. He watched as the honor guard folded his father’s flag while a lone trumpet played “Taps” in the background. As the soldier marched toward him and presented him with the cloth triangle of red, white, and blue, he accepted, holding it close to his chest. Sixty years later, his dad would be reunited with his friend.
“Charlie.” His smile was bittersweet. “Wherever you are; thanks for giving me this time with my dad. Hope you guys are enjoying a beer together in person. I know he was looking forward to seeing you again.”
Have you ever had one of those Days/Weeks/Months/Years where if you put everything that happened on paper it would look like the worst year ever? As is common this close to the beginning of the New Year, I began to reflect. I’ve had two years that were truly bad…I lost a sibling in each of those years. Oddly enough, this year…on paper…should probably have been a runner up.
Here’s how this year has looked for me:
Short staffed & forced to work 6 day work weeks and at least 2-3 double shifts per week for 3 months
Husband diagnosed with appendicitis and rushed by ambulance for an emergency appendectomy (appendix was necrotic)
Less than month later husband has second surgery for inguinal hernia repair
6 weeks later hubby has the worst surgery (both for him and me)…a pilonidal cyst surgery
Through all this I had an employee constantly making trouble, making excuses for her behavior and calling HR on every perceived slight (mostly imaginary).
On the 4th of July, I got firedfor the first time in my life.
2 days before my health benefits run out, hubby breaks his hand playing softball
Hubby’s favorite uncle becomes very ill very quickly. (They were talking hospice before they even gave the true diagnosis)
Hubby goes to Chicago to visit family for a few days (I had tried to get the time approved when I was working, but had been denied and a week before I lost my job he booked the plane ticket…Joke was on us…)
Hubby’s uncle dies a week and a half after hubby came back home.
A close friend was diagnosed with cancer.
My brother-in-law lost his grandmother.
Another family member was diagnosed with cancer
Yet another family member lost a toe due to some medical things.
Oddly enough, even through all of this, I feel thankful! I was worried sick about hubby with all his surgeries…but I was grateful that they all happened when I still had insurance. Even his broken hand happened within that timeframe. In fact, two of the three surgeries happened when my mom was in town. She dropped everything to rush to the hospital and be by our sides, keeping me company while I waited.
I lost my job…that should’ve sucked. Oddly enough, I wasn’t upset. I have a very solid skill set in a couple of career fields. Even more than that…everyone on my staff with the exception of my troublemaker called me or gave me a hug on my way out the door. They still keep in touch and let me know how much they enjoyed working with me and that they miss me.
The other thing about losing my job…my sister pointed out…my work/life balance sucked while I was there. On my wedding day (which was out of state) I got a call needing help. During the time my assistants were out, little to no help was given unless I pushed for it… I’m sure you’re getting by now that the little I’ve shared is just the tip of the iceberg with how much my life and time was monopolized.
Working there was also a big part of what caused me to stop writing…to rarely be able to attend church…to be unable to sing except around work and at home. Upon losing my job both my sister and my best friend called to tell me that they always felt I should’ve been writing anyway. They were right!
So, this year I’ve also become a member of the Florida Writer’s Association getting my feet back into the writing universe…and becoming active in my local chapter. I also just finished writing my first manuscript and am currently working on editing it…Cross your fingers! I also joined WordPress and found all you wonderful people! You guys have encouraged me, taught me, inspired me and enriched my life.
As for my singing…the day after I lost my job, my pastor called just to check on me. When I told him what had happened, he was empathetic…keeping me in his prayers. But he challenged me, too. He let me know that choir practice was the following day and that now that I had no plans I would probably enjoy checking it out. He pointed out that nothing makes the heart feel lighter than “making a joyful noise.” He was right! Since that day I have been a part of the praise team for the church, singing every Sunday. I think God was sending me a message through him. 🙂
Hubby’s uncle becoming ill…that really sucked. It was sad…and tragic. But the upside is that my husband got to go there…and spend time with him every day of his vacation, giving him a chance to say goodbye. That may not have been quite so readily possible if I’d been with him. They may have felt obligated to entertain me. The unfortunate thing was that he wasn’t able to go to the funeral when he died…but his uncle knew he loved him and that he was there to say goodbye.
As for the rest…it’s in God’s hands. My friend is battling, and I couldn’t be more proud. My family has a firm foundation in love, support and faith. So although on the surface, this year should probably look like it was awful…It wasn’t! I’ve found some very wonderful things to celebrate to go with some of those losses!
The thing I’ve learned? You can’t always control the things that happen to you, but you can control your response…and you can look for the blessings or you can focus on the bad. I choose to see the good and be thankful.
I’ve realized I have a cantankerous side. People who know me well will tell you that it’s a rarity for me to lose my temper. In fact, one of my biggest flaws is that I’m too controlled. But I have this line…and once it’s crossed, all bets are off.
Why am I telling you this? Because tonight someone asked me how I wound up in Florida.
My buddy Robert will relate to this story as he believes in turning the other cheek…but only twice since he only has two.
I took a job at the hospital I worked at back in the late ’90’s. I guess you’d consider it a promotion and I should’ve been pleased, but I enjoyed the position I held prior to this one and wasn’t in any rush to leave it. The thing was, there were only two people in that particular hospital that were capable or qualified to do the job. One was only part time and in school. The other person? Me.
I liked my direct boss, so when she asked me to take on the role as a personal favor, I agreed. Then a new executive came in to run our group of departments. We’ll call her The Dragon Lady. (And I use the term Lady loosely) Her people skills were so strong that she kicked off her first, introductory meeting with the departments by sitting everyone down and saying, “You should be happy to be here. If you’re not happy to be here, find a reason to be happy to be here. If you can’t find a reason to be happy to be here, then maybe you should leave.”
Yeah…definitely gave ME the warm and fuzzies…and that was Strike 1.
My position with the company required that I go over every single in and out patient registration with a fine toothed comb and ensure proper segments and insurance was billed properly. When the information was incorrect, it was my job to correct it, coach the employee and re-drop the bill. This meant I had anywhere from 800 to 1000 registrations per day to review. I was about 6 days out, but the ideal was to be no more than 5 days out. Unfortunately there was only 1 of me…
One day my boss calls me into her office. Waiting inside…you guessed it…The Dragon Lady. Here is how the conversation with her rolled out.
DL: I want you to be no more than 3 days out an all registrations. Where are you now?
Me: I’m 6 days out.
DL: How soon will it take to get you to 3 days out?
Me: With overtime? Probably 3 days.
DL: Then get that done.
Me: Ok.
DL: I can be the best friend you had or the worst enemy you’ve ever made.
Me: Okay…
DL: I can make your career or I can break it. And I support the people I like. Otherwise I can crush you.
Me: Okay…
Direct boss pipes in: Dragon Lady, in her defense, she was perfectly happy in the job before she took this one. She took it as a personal favor to me and because she was one of two people in the entire place qualified and the only one able to do the job.
DL: If you want me on your side, you’ll get that done.
What she couldn’t see was that in my head she’d just gotten Strike #2!
My husband was my boyfriend back then and knew how miserable I was. Between the long hours I was working (10-12 hrs and 6 day work weeks) and the way she talked to me, he knew something had to give. He gave me the green light to post my resume online. So I did! I didn’t even apply for any jobs…just posted it….when I got a call. A hospital on the west coast of Florida wanted to interview me. So, I walked into my direct boss’ office and told her I needed a personal day and reminded her that I had never taken any time like that before…and that I couldn’t answer any questions about the why. She gave it to me.
When I got back at 8 am, the Dragon Lady (who, incidentally, was never in before 10 am) was in my office waiting for me.
Now if you know the arrogant management types…then you know the power plays that come along with them. Often, if you’re told the boss’ boss is in your office…and said boss is a douche…you can count on them taking “the power position”…the seat at your desk. They leave you with the guest chair…their way of saying it’s their universe and you’re just lucky enough to be living in it.
This move would have been typical of her breed of people. Oddly enough, when I came in, she was sitting in my guest chair. Between the being at work a minimum of 2 hours prior to her normal time and sitting in my guest seat, I knew something was up.
As I sat my bag down our conversation happened:
DL: So, a little birdie told me that you went on an interview.
Me: (Thinking…so THAT’S what this is all about) Your little birdie heard correctly.
DL: You know, we absolutely love you here.
Me: (Looking at her in disbelief) Thank you. (She was fishing and she wanted to know how serious I was about leaving. In fact, if I’d have mentioned a raise, I would’ve gotten it.)
DL: You’re a hard worker.
Me: I’m glad you think so.
DL: We don’t want to lose you.
Me: Well, you know, you said something at your first meeting that really resonated with me.
DL: (Her ego puffing up) Oh, really? What did I say?
Me: On your first day you told us “You should be happy to be here. If you’re not happy to be here, you need to find a reason to be happy to be here. If you can’t find a reason to be happy to then you should go somewhere else.” So I took your advise!
DL: Oh.
I don’t think very many people had ever talked to her that way…and used her words against her. But I meant every word…because I never forgot. And it felt good! I then gave my two weeks notice and moved to Florida. Oddly enough, it took 3 people with overtime to replace the one me. And one of them ended up in the CCU unit because of the stress.
As for the Dragon Lady…she only lasted another year or two longer in her position. Every time I’ve gone back to my old stomping grounds and run into someone I know in that department, I’m offered a job. Funny thing…I left in 1999!
What about you? Where is your temper threshold? What happens when you get pushed? What is the closest you ever got to saying Eff you to a boss?
This is a pic of my very funny, very sweet hubby from our trip to the Bahamas back in May. As you can tell by the signs pointing in his direction, he’s as warped as I am. it works for us.
We always make sure to visit Señor Frog’s when we’re there. He loves going to that place! He’ll participate in the free shot limbo line, he’ll cheer on contestants in whatever convoluted drinking game the dj’s come up with…and he’ll always get one of their Piña Colada Yardsticks.
We really enjoy each other’s company, so this separation for work has been a bit difficult. Text messages and phone calls doesn’t quite cut it. I wouldn’t do anything differently…We have a friend that needs me. But I miss him like crazy.
This weekend hubby and some of our friends will be participating in an event called Tough Mudder and normally I’d be there to cheer him on. This is a pretty intense event from all I’ve seen. Check out the videos in that link. you’ll see what I mean. I can’t be there this time. I’m too far away. I know he’s going to kick butt, but I really wish I were there to see his success.
Only a little more than a year ago, he was significantly overweight. He is now down 170 lbs. he did it all naturally! Honestly, he never thought he’d be able to get down to this…he wasn’t this thin even in high school! but he did it! He decided it was time to get back into shape, so he modified his eating habits and started working out. He was driven. We did it together, and I’ve only lost 50 lbs, but I’mokay with that. I just keep pounding away. I’m so incredibly proud of his success, though, and feel like the event tomorrow is the culmination of all his hard work.
Well, even if I can’t be there in person I’ll be there in spirit. Help cheer him on with me! So, tell me, what things have you accomplished that surprised yourself? What accomplishments has your significant other…or maybe another family member achieved that made you sit back and say…WOW!?
At the risk of offending some people, I’m going to be candid. Maybe it’s because of a post I read last month from Once A Month 4 Ladies or maybe it’s the election or maybe it’s a memory of an old friend, but people’s perceptions on feminism lately have been driving me nuts.
First I’ll tell you what I do believe:
Women deserve to have the right to vote (you may say duh, but that’s actually a fairly recent right!)
Women of equal experience and education as men deserve to be paid at the same salary
Women should be able to try out for any type of sport, and if they’re talented, deserve equal consideration as their male counterparts
I may have forgot a thing or two in my list, but I think you get the general gist. And then there are the extremists when it comes to women’s lib. They kind of ruin it for everyone because they send mixed messages to the male gender. Earlier I mentioned a friend. My friend and I were out with a bunch of people one day (mind you, we were in high school). We’d just arrived at the restaurant when one of the guys from our group walked ahead of us and opened the door for us. I said thank you. She snapped at him, telling him she wasn’t weak and she could get the door for herself. Confused, I pulled her aside. She explained to me that she wanted to be “treated like an equal” and not some “weaker sex”.
I was completely floored! Never in my wildest dreams did I think that “women’s lib” had made it all the way into the dating scene. Maybe it’s old fashioned of me, but I don’t think it has any business in the dating scene. I’m not a “go Dutch” kind of girl. I like when a guy opens the door for me or pulls a chair out for me. I don’t see that as him treating me as a member of a “weaker sex”. I see it as the man I’m with paying his respects…and in some very old school, old world way…maybe paying homage to the beauty of womankind in general.
And yet these days men walk on egg shells, unsure of what’s expected of them. We women bitch and bemoan the loss of the “alpha male” and that men “don’t treat us right” when they don’t take charge or he pauses at the end of the night, unsure if he should be paying for the whole tab or part of it. Who do we have to blame for this? Ourselves!
You want an alpha male? Stop trying to neuter him! When he opens a door, say thank you and smile! When he holds out your chair for you, find a way to let him know it’s meant something and that you appreciate the effort. And no, for my dirty birdie friends out there, I don’t mean crawl under the table and “show him gratitude”…well, unless you want to. (hehehe!) I mean maybe touch his arm or make eye contact and give him that special smile that lets him know you really appreciate the gesture. And for goodness sake, ladies…don’t go on a dutch treat date unless you got suckered into one. Usually that’s the beginning of something not so special…”if you know what I mean”. 😉
What about you ladies? Gentlemen? Care to weigh in on this topic? How do you feel about women’s lib? Am I the only one who thinks it’s gone too far when it’s pushed it’s way into the dating scene? Are there other places where it’s crept in and done more harm than good? Inquiring minds wanna know!
I enjoy the mystique that women posess. I like being treated like something special. I thrive on being flirted with and doted on….and I don’t think that should be out of date or old fashioned. I also like those alpha men who enjoy taking charge but respect the fact that women have minds of their own and are able to think for themselves and fight their own battles (but offer to always be there for back up if needed).
So, I've been spanked, hard! I have spanked myself hard, I have spanked others even harder! I'm now heading for a different road, one that still includes all the best bits of me, all the naughty bits, all the hot steamy bits, and plenty of spanking still to be had! But this time I'm creating characters to play out my delightful erotic fantasies, I hope you enjoy the new ride as much as the previous one...
theinnerwildkat 